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Description
Digital in Photoshop with Wacom tablet. This self-portrait is one of the more meaningful of any work I've done recently. I struggle with a severe phobia of needles, among a host of other medical/body/injury fears. This painting, in part, is meant to be an exposure therapy for me, as I've had to search for reference images of things I find repulsive. It also has been a form of art therapy in recording my fear, communicating it to others, and trying to re-imagine the fear in terms of the protective and healing aspects of medical equipment, and even my blood itself. Hence, the imagery of a protective suit, as a sort of armor against the drowning sensations of a crippling anxiety attack. I was also drawn to the astronaut helmet as a symbol. For me, this imagery invokes a feeling of isolation in an extreme and hostile environment, as phobias can be intensely isolating, with very few other people who can fully empathize with your terror, avoidance, and physical sensations. Instead, expressing a phobia often opens a person up to ridicule and pranks, which can further traumatize a person and bury the phobia in deeper.

Description
Digital in Photoshop with Wacom tablet. This self-portrait is one of the more meaningful of any work I've done recently. I struggle with a severe phobia of needles, among a host of other medical/body/injury fears. This painting, in part, is meant to be an exposure therapy for me, as I've had to search for reference images of things I find repulsive. It also has been a form of art therapy in recording my fear, communicating it to others, and trying to re-imagine the fear in terms of the protective and healing aspects of medical equipment, and even my blood itself. Hence, the imagery of a protective suit, as a sort of armor against the drowning sensations of a crippling anxiety attack. I was also drawn to the astronaut helmet as a symbol. For me, this imagery invokes a feeling of isolation in an extreme and hostile environment, as phobias can be intensely isolating, with very few other people who can fully empathize with your terror, avoidance, and physical sensations. Instead, expressing a phobia often opens a person up to ridicule and pranks, which can further traumatize a person and bury the phobia in deeper.