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Description
Roxie: Haikus are poems
From Japan that do not rhyme
They are hard to write

Newt: Roxanna’s haiku
Was really, very not good
Were you dropped on your head as a baby?

Roxie: That last verse had way
Too many syllables, dude
You really do suck

Newt: Still, that verse was true
You’re dumb like Paris Hilton,
Only not as hot

Roxie: Are you kidding me?
Have you seen her big old nose?
Is she, like, Jewish?

Newt: Duh, no she isn’t
Only you would think she is
Read a book, genius

Roxie: Well, at least I don’t
Wet the bed like a baby
You blanky hugger!

Newt: How’d you find that out?!
Um, I mean, no, I didn’t
You’re such a liar

Roxie: Bed wetter! Ha! Ha!
Who’s the lame one, now, Puddles?
Get some rubber sheets!

Newt: I did not, Roxie
I live in a dumpster, so
Somebody must have poured old soda on me that night.

Roxie: The last verse was too
Long again, you big retard
Did you even try?

Newt: Just shut up, Roxie
We got off topic somewhere
What was I saying?

Roxie: You were saying that
You suck at haikus and I’m
An awesome writer

Newt: Hey, no, I wasn’t!
I was saying you’re a ditz
Na na na na na!

Roxie: Real mature, Newton
Would you please just get a life?
You are such a dork

Newt: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Look at me, my name’s Roxie
I think I’m so cool!

Roxie: Would you forget it?
I won’t stoop to you level
I’m way too mature

Newt: I do girly stuff
Like talk about my feelings
Blahbitty blah blah!

Roxie: That’s it, I’m stooping!
Look at me, I’m Newt and I’m
A big, dumb jerkface!

Newt: Oh, I think I’m so
Pretty, but I’m really not,
Blah blah blah blah blah!

Roxie: I think I’m so cool
But I’m really a dweeb and
I smell like garbage!!

Newt: I talk on the phone
For hours about nothing!
Yap yappity yap!

Roxie: Girls, boobs, cars, more boobs
Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs
Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs!!!!

Priscilla: Would you two stop it?!
You’re acting like little kids
Can we please end this?

Roxie: Sorry, Priscilla
We got carried away, but
We’ll stop if you want

Newt: Shame on you, Roxie!
Making Priscilla suffer
You have no manners

Roxie: I have no manners?
Well, that’s the oven calling
The casserole black!

Newt: You got that phrase all
Wrong because you’re a moron
Just go back to school!!

Priscilla: Were you listening
To me? Just give it a rest.
I hate when you fight.

Newt: Sorry. Before we go,
I have one thing I want to
Say to you, Roxie

Roxie: This oughta be good
All right, just say it and I’ll
Try not to get mad

Newt: Okay, here I go…
*pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft*
*pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft*

Roxie: Why, you little creep!
Come over here so I can
Beat you to a pulp!

Newt: I’d like to see you
Try with your two noodle arms
Come get me, Roxie!

Priscilla: Before a fight breaks
Out, I would like to say that
This poem is done and this last verse would be the right amount of syllables if it were written in its original Japanese.

The End

Description
Roxie: Haikus are poems
From Japan that do not rhyme
They are hard to write

Newt: Roxanna’s haiku
Was really, very not good
Were you dropped on your head as a baby?

Roxie: That last verse had way
Too many syllables, dude
You really do suck

Newt: Still, that verse was true
You’re dumb like Paris Hilton,
Only not as hot

Roxie: Are you kidding me?
Have you seen her big old nose?
Is she, like, Jewish?

Newt: Duh, no she isn’t
Only you would think she is
Read a book, genius

Roxie: Well, at least I don’t
Wet the bed like a baby
You blanky hugger!

Newt: How’d you find that out?!
Um, I mean, no, I didn’t
You’re such a liar

Roxie: Bed wetter! Ha! Ha!
Who’s the lame one, now, Puddles?
Get some rubber sheets!

Newt: I did not, Roxie
I live in a dumpster, so
Somebody must have poured old soda on me that night.

Roxie: The last verse was too
Long again, you big retard
Did you even try?

Newt: Just shut up, Roxie
We got off topic somewhere
What was I saying?

Roxie: You were saying that
You suck at haikus and I’m
An awesome writer

Newt: Hey, no, I wasn’t!
I was saying you’re a ditz
Na na na na na!

Roxie: Real mature, Newton
Would you please just get a life?
You are such a dork

Newt: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Look at me, my name’s Roxie
I think I’m so cool!

Roxie: Would you forget it?
I won’t stoop to you level
I’m way too mature

Newt: I do girly stuff
Like talk about my feelings
Blahbitty blah blah!

Roxie: That’s it, I’m stooping!
Look at me, I’m Newt and I’m
A big, dumb jerkface!

Newt: Oh, I think I’m so
Pretty, but I’m really not,
Blah blah blah blah blah!

Roxie: I think I’m so cool
But I’m really a dweeb and
I smell like garbage!!

Newt: I talk on the phone
For hours about nothing!
Yap yappity yap!

Roxie: Girls, boobs, cars, more boobs
Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs
Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs!!!!

Priscilla: Would you two stop it?!
You’re acting like little kids
Can we please end this?

Roxie: Sorry, Priscilla
We got carried away, but
We’ll stop if you want

Newt: Shame on you, Roxie!
Making Priscilla suffer
You have no manners

Roxie: I have no manners?
Well, that’s the oven calling
The casserole black!

Newt: You got that phrase all
Wrong because you’re a moron
Just go back to school!!

Priscilla: Were you listening
To me? Just give it a rest.
I hate when you fight.

Newt: Sorry. Before we go,
I have one thing I want to
Say to you, Roxie

Roxie: This oughta be good
All right, just say it and I’ll
Try not to get mad

Newt: Okay, here I go…
*pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft*
*pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft* *pfft*

Roxie: Why, you little creep!
Come over here so I can
Beat you to a pulp!

Newt: I’d like to see you
Try with your two noodle arms
Come get me, Roxie!

Priscilla: Before a fight breaks
Out, I would like to say that
This poem is done and this last verse would be the right amount of syllables if it were written in its original Japanese.

The End