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The moonlight reflected off the softly undulating tide, causing all shadows to flicker and shake as if they were nervous. Two figures, with a third suspended between them, lumbered their way along the pier until they came to their grimy destination: the enormous container full of the fish that had spoiled that day before they made it back to shore. Tomorrow, it would either be dumped into the ocean for the sharks or it would be used as bait, whichever came first. Either way, it was what they wanted.
Vinnie and Bob Luccione were there because of a job. Not a particularly hard job; in fact it was insultingly easy, which was part of the reason why Vinnie was in such a sore mood that night. Bob was there because his dad, the Don, had told him he would be at the pier one way or another, and he took that to mean the worst, which it probably did. Life was hard in the mafia. It got fun with the occasional whoopee cushion on the Don’s chair at dinner, but it wasn’t fun for long, especially if said dinner required a steak knife.
Vinnie was named such because he was the biggest guy in the Family, and that’s just what you named the big guy: Vinnie or Tony. He was proud of his name and his stature, and was pleased to work for the Don, but not tonight. Tonight, he hated the Don for putting him on disposal, especially with his little brother Bob. He didn’t like his brother, but then again he didn’t really like anybody, so it all evened out in the end.
Bob was so named because after a mix up with the son who came before him that involved a bit of a misunderstanding and ended with said son being named Lucy, Mrs. Luccione and the Don didn’t want to take any chances. You see, the Don came from Sicily, and while Uncle Johnny spoke English because he’d been living in the States a while acting as the US branch of the Luccione family, the Don didn’t speak a word of it. So he named his first son a good Italian name, Dominick, or Dom for short. He wanted his next son to have an American name, but he was born at roughly 12.5 pounds, so he was forced to name him Vinnie. When he got to the third son, he was watching a rerun of I Love Lucy on the day of the birth, got a little confused and ended up giving the poor kid a girl’s name. Everybody just calls him Luke. Afterwards, the Don got so frustrated that when he heard his wife was pregnant with another boy, he just said Bob and was done with it.
Vinnie and Bob looked at the container. They grabbed their payload at each end and hurled it into the stink pit on Vinnie’s count, sending a pungent and extremely disgusting volley of squid towards them upon impact.
“I’ll get tha car,” said Vinnie, “you clean this up, Bob.”
“Well, why me?” asked Bob.
“’Cuz I said so.”
“Well I ain’t doin’ it.”
“You wanna die?”
“No.”
“Then do it.”
“Shut up, I ain’t doin’ it.”
“Well it’s gotta get done. The workers know that the seagulls don’t eat 50 pounds of squid all at once.”
“Well, I ain’t doin’ it.”
“Why?”
“’Cuz”
“’Cuz why, Bob.”
“’Cuz I don’t like squid, a’ight.”
“…”
“What? I don’t.”
“You’d better be fuckin’ jokin’ me. TELL ME ya fuckin’ jokin’ me.”
“No, Vinnie. They’re all slimy n’ smelly n’ they fuckin’ ink all over the place, an’ Ma jus’ got me a new suit wit summa tha casino money, an I don’ wanna piss ‘er off, a’ight?”
“Then why’d you agree ta work tha stiff?”
“I made you take tha messy end. Plus, they got that beak.”
“Bob…”
“No, seriously, they got that hard little beak that they bite on stuff wit. That’s a fuckin’ nightmare right there. What if one o’ thems is still alive?”
“Do they fuckin’ smell alive to you?”
“Do you know the fuck how a healthy squid is s’posda smell, ‘cuz I don’t!”
“Whadda you think dis is, Jeopardy? Do I look like Alex fuckin’ Trebeck ta you?”
“What if one bites me?”
“Then I’ll kiss it and make it all fuckin’ betta.”
“Whateva’, I still ain’t pickin’ up no squid.”
“No squid, then? Fine.”
Vinnie drew his pistol, a .45 his father had gotten him for his birthday when he was 14, and made a few of the squid about as dead as anything can get.
“There. Now it’s soup. Pick it up.”
“Vinnie, that’s fuckin’ gross.”
“Look in tha mirra, momma’s boy.”
“Just because Ma loves me betta than yous is no reason fa you ta bully me aroun’”
“She don’ love you, she just thinks yous is too much uva igormus ta to know ya head from ya ass without her help.”
“That’s ignoramus.”
“Why thank you, Dr. Princeton-Fucking-Dipshit! Next time ya feel like gracin’ me wit your amazin’ smarts, why don’ ya gimme fair warning so I at least know when to get down on my knees, wilyeh?
“Eh, fuck you!”
“You would, pansy!”
There was a tense moment of silence during which nothing happened. Then, after a few seconds, nothing continued to happen. Minutes passed as the two brothers did their best to avoid each other’s eyes. Vinnie spoke in a small voice.
“Look, maybe you could jus’ kick tha squid inta tha wata, and th…”
“What was that?”
“I said maybe ya could jus’…”
“I’m sorry, my hearin’ must be bad tonight. Speak up.”
“Look, jus’ kick tha squid inta tha wata and we’ll be done wit it.”
“Oh, do my ears deceive me, or did you jus’ cut me sum slack?”
“Oh, yeah, do that Bob. Fuckin’ rub it in. Real nice.”
“A’ight, a’ight, but I won’ fuhget this.”
“You will if I tells ya to.”
Bob shoved his hands into his pockets and began gingerly nudging all the squid into the water one by one with his toe. Vinnie turned the corner, slid into the driver’s seat of his ’72 Cadillac, discovered it wouldn’t start, swore at it until it did and drove around to meet his brother. Bob got in on the passenger’s killed a rat that was sleeping on his seat, and buckled himself in.
“Hey,” said Bob suddenly, “Who was that stiff anyways?”
“Him? That was Jimmy Salieri.”
“You sure?”
Vinnie paused.
“Y…e…a…h… why?”
“I dunno, it didn’ really look like ‘im. Looked familiar, but not like ‘im.”
“Well, maybe he dyed ‘is hair or sumthin. He was hidin’ from dad.”
“Maybe. Come ta think of it, I don’ think Jimmy lives in a house. ‘e lives in a ‘partment in Queens, righ’?”
“Huh.”
“Hey, you know who that stiff reminds me of? Dad’s ol’ friend, Joe Carducci.”
“Oh, yeah, Uncle Joe. Heh.”
Silence.

“Oh shit,” said Vinnie quietly.