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Ztransman — stuck
Published: 2012-06-21 05:23:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 257; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 4
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Description
trapped in a bodythat's not my own
stuck in a house
that's not a home
subject to a family
full of hate
terrified of what
will be my fate
prisoner to a world
full of cold
tired of doing
everything I'm told
Comments: 30
I wouldn't call it random crap...more like random art.
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I definitely agree!
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I'm glad to see you do!
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This is a good poem and gives a really good image of what you're going through.
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I actually agree with Mikgeta and BeCarefulILove, this is nicely done and says some powerful stuff.
I totally know your feelings though. I cant call where I'm living now a real home. Where I call home is up in Montana, in the middle of nowhere, over 150 miles from any real city, in a house where there is never any fighting, where I never have to worry about being harmed for being me, where you're free to do whatever, not forced to do things you don't want to do but actually asked instead, and everyone loves you for who you are, and not what people think you should be. That is what I call 'home'! Where I'm at now, is not any of these things. (If I really want to and tried, I could call this a poem 
I also do have that same issue about my body... I can over look it at times, but still being called him, he, that guy, sir, Mr, all still hurt a bit. And what really sucks is that I still look guyish in the face... 
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there are some glaring issues with it :/
I'm glad you liked it though
and yea, i figured a lot of people could relate to it
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there are a few glaring errors i cannot overlook
but I'm glad you enjoyed it
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-___- change the description zack. this is beautiful work, not random crap
so for you, you're trapped twice - in a body, then in a home. I'm trapped three times (body/ home/ country) 
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might sound good
but it wasn't written well
there are so many mistakes > <
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mistakes shistakes, its concept and basic idea is good, and that's what makes good poetry good poetry
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they're mistakes that make it not such good poetry xD
trust me, I've worked hard on learning about poetry
this has multiple errors
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o, like what? i've taken a lot of poetry classes myself during the past three years. and poetry's a passion of mine too, so tell me, maybe i can help
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the first stanza is fine
the second stanza starts out okay (if you disregard the rhythm disruption that is)
but if you look at the second part of that stanza and really pay attention to it, it doesn't fit
it goes from describing how i am stuck in certain circumstances to a feeling
then back to being stuck at the beginning of stanza 3
only to trow in another feeling
the poem should only be describing the "tapped" not "terrified" or "tired of"
it just doesn't go
now, if stanza 1 were to have a feeling in it's second half instead of more description of being trapped, then it might work
but i like stanza 1
so the other two are wrong
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yeah you got a point there. alot of my poems are left unfinished because they transgress like that. but all in all this really is a good piece. powerful too.
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*shrug* i just keep seeing this stuff lol
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I'm so sorry man... we people can be stubborn and stupid and... full of hatred without a justified cause.
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i can usually deal with it
some stuff was really getting to me though
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