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0-xcheekymonkeyx-0 — An Oath To Midwinter ~ Book One: Of Ice and Bone
Published: 2014-05-04 11:26:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 665; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 0
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I own the story and cover picture. Please do not copy or use.© Copyright to 0-xcheekymonkeyx-0
Fantasy / Romance Novel.This is just an idea I had for a new novel. Also its the first file I've put on here that's a PDF, which took ages.
Thanks for reading. Comments are appreciated.
Just so people know I will not be carrying on with this story. It was just an idea I had and a practice with writing first chapters
Chapter I: City Of Stone Kings
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Comments: 16
This is very interesting. Is this story in the game of thrones? Is Eugene a female name? Was Jon who died really Jon Snow? Was the creature a white walker?
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Actually it was supposed to be an original story but I've kind of abandoned it
It's kind of similar to game of thrones so I decided to write another that I'm posting on here soon.
Basically Eugene was the main guy in the story and he was a guy and the character Jon was just one I made up. I didn't realise my character Jon and the game of thrones character Jon Snow had the same name until it was too late. Also... sort of similar to a white walker. I didn't really have that many original ideas with this story :/
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what happened to your stories?
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It was part of my coursework I did before my exam. I never really made it to finish. I've thought about it but it isn't really a story I can carry on with.
Sorry I kind of have a thing right now where I start stories and don't finish and it's so bad of me. I just run out of ideas.
I've recently been writing one called Silver Poison that I've actually managed to get halfway done so I'll post a chapter of that on soon. Since I'm halfway finished with that story, I won't be starting another or stopping it so that one shuold be done quite soon. As for "An Oath to Midwinter," I'll probably not finish it. Sorry
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I really like your stories so much. I wanted to read more. You are a great story teller!
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Thank you!
Hmm I'll definitely have to put some on here soon then haha.
You're a good story teller too. I love Hybrid at the moment.
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Interesting beginning. Your description was pretty good and vivid.
As far as constructive criticism goes, the main issue was grammar: there were quite a few comma splices (sentences that could have been linked with conjunctions or separated into their own sentences, but were instead linked by commas) and the semi-colon was occasionally abused (you should really only use them to link sentences that are related to each other). Also, at one point, you had Eugene describe his own expression, which isn't physically possible for a human being to do unless they're looking at themselves through a mirror. As far as the fighting scene goes, it would help to describe each individual attack/movement during said fight, usually through short, connected sentences to make the mood more intense and serious. Finally, I felt that the emotions of the characters could have been expressed in a little more detail, but that could just be me.
I hope that this helps! Keep writing!
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Thanks so much! That's definitely helped with the chapter and I'll edit it when I can.
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You're welcome! Glad it was helpful.
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I see you have been reading A Song of Ice and Fire
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Yeah
I hope this story isn't similar to game of thrones or at least not too similar :/
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Not gonna lie, it's pretty similar so far, what with there being a order of guards that defends against fire-fearing vaguely undead monsters on a mountain in what seems like eternal winter. Yet... that's not necessarily /bad/, if you draw the storyline out to something more original in the next chapters. I'm hoping you do - you seem to have a lot of talent and I feel like you can give your own original touch to all of this very well.
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I've only read a chapter of game of thrones off the internet so I didn't know it started similarly. Anyway, it's definitely going to be different. I've already wrote most of the chapters and they're hopefully different to the book.
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Good to hear. I look forward to seeing what you've written.
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