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Ja55son123 [2019-04-11 15:54:46 +0000 UTC]

I really like the concept that is being put forth on this work it has life and definitely is a scene that I could get behind. In terms of artistic work, I will go over it as one does at art school, not for the sake of being mean but in an effort to hope that you will improve by these comments. Lines - you seem to go over the lines in a sketch manner and do what is called  "Petting the line" I would recommend building up muscle memory by drawing straight lines without lifting up your pencil on a page (fill up the page) do this at least 2-3 times a week as well as drawing circles in single motion. Perspective- Aida looks much larger than Ken despite being in the back making her look more GTS than Prg(which is currently I suppose in this stage is not noticeable. I would venture that there was suppose to be some angle going on here of a "birdseye view" but due to the characters faces, I cannot really tell. Shading- while you seem to have direction with your light and there some of the cells look chopped up particularly around Ken's air (dark section) making it look incomplete I would recommend making individual cells, then merging them together creating those triangle shapes. The light on their heads should probably be heavier on the lighter side than the darker side but you give them the kind of "halo" light which could be improved by tapering. On the towel, while I like the texture the shadows do not seem to follow its movement. In addition to the towel who is moving the towel Aidas arms are up so I assume, it was Ken but his arms are down. Line direction-  as I follow the lines by the characters the building the tree and what I assume is a radio the lines direct my eyes toward the branches of the tree rather than the characters themselves. Last, Things to add & subtract. We get the idea that she is cutting hair but where is all the hair on the floor? Knowing that Ken's growth is hair having locks of hair on the floor might have added to the idea that he was getting his hair cut or putting a tuff or 2 on Aida would have helped in addition some scissors or sheers in her hand would have conveyed this message. I really don't get the radio it seems placed and while not horrible the antenna draws the viewers eyes away and is more of a distraction to the main event. Aida's pose while cutie might not convey the amount of work she had to endure to get his hair like that. Perhaps an exhausted pose with a happy face might have conveyed this. as I write this I assume that it was some kind of hair cut, but her statement seems odd and might need explanation. What did she get in pin's hair gell? Sometimes it is best to leave no words and let the audience think up a story.   Sorry for rambling so much and my poor writing skills (not an English major) and again I hope this does not come off as mean but more constructive because I do want to see more work from you and I can definitely see potential

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