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Abfc — A Day in the Life of a Penis [NSFW]
Published: 2008-07-08 05:43:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 34917; Favourites: 328; Downloads: 253
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Description Once upon a time, there live an abnormally large penis who..

..ate a bowling ball. He then became thirsty for..

..a bucket of cheese coated walrus juice. But that wasn't enough..

.., for, you see, this penis was half werewolf and..

..lived a secret double-life as Harry Potter. The penis was..

..in love with Paris Hilton, in spite of her affection for many other penises, but..

..the abnormal large penis knew that Paris could see him for the..

..ungodly oversized ballsack he possessed; however, she still..

..refused to have passionate orange sex with the penis. This drove the penis..

..to homosexuality, from which vantage point he started hanging out at..

..Starbucks. Where all the happy perverted tiny..

..child penises were left unattended by their caffeine-high parents, so he..

..latched onto one of them, but to his surprise..

..the little penises had vaginas, which caused him to..

..reverse-fap quite rapidly. This gave the penis terrible carpet burn and so..

..he resolved to eat one of the baby penises, resulting in..

..massive heart-burn that spread to all the other penises in the vicinity, which caused..

..them to all simultaneously vomit their white fluids onto eachother. Then the policeboobs arrived and..

..began dancing to the macaroni. "Wingardium Leveosa!" yelled the harry potter penis..

..before he promptly pierced the boob's nipple with his wand and..

..caused it to fly off and land on the policeboobs. Where it then turned into an abnormally purple..

..orange. Yes, an abnormally purple orange. This orange was regular size, but it vibrated and..

..began to engulf the flock of penises is it's purple-orangeness. The penises orgasmed frantically..

..transforming the purple orange into a white one--a sticky white one--but they were not done yet, for..

..along came a much larger white--sticky white--orange. It then appeared to..

..buttrape the first orange, making it white on the inside until it was no longer an orange at all, but rather..

..a manbearpig. And one handsome manbearpig at that, the penises frolicked around the manbearpig and..

..begged for the privilege of sucking his bearpig cock and maybe fondling his manballs. This angered the manbearpig, however, and..

..caused the manbearpig to erupt horrible white lava. It spilled all over Starbucks until..

..the manager inevitably took it and started selling it as a new type of iced drink. It sold millions and swept the nation..

..they even won a nobel peace prize! But all was not well in Kansas..

..BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK? "Screw Kansas," said the penis, while he..

..did just that, and attempted to rape the small farm town. But alas it was far too large for..

..him to feel anything, his cock only being the size of a large mansion. Annoyed, he decided to..

..thrust his invisible pelvis in the faces of all the leaders of the world. Including the very seductive..

..Barbara Bush, also known as George Washington, but soon his eyes melted and his cock deflated. Defeated, he..

..decided to move to Mexico, where nobody judged anybody of the size of their genitals. This is where the penis..

..met the love of his life: a disgusting and unkempt pussy. They..

..started a family together; full of many abnormally orange vagina.

The end...? ಠ_ಠ
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Comments: 861

zPhoenixCarez [2016-03-10 03:46:15 +0000 UTC]

I cried. So beautiful. 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Enigmatisty [2015-11-20 05:41:10 +0000 UTC]

Deeper than my hole after a party during the weekend. I love this!

👍: 1 ⏩: 0

RachWantsHerCupcake [2013-12-23 08:32:49 +0000 UTC]

OMG YES! Lolol

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

XeonartOmega [2013-10-16 00:14:05 +0000 UTC]

ROFL!!!!!!!    

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Chawanskii [2013-09-05 01:49:14 +0000 UTC]

This is the greatest thing I've ever read.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to Chawanskii [2013-09-10 15:16:17 +0000 UTC]

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Chawanskii In reply to Abfc [2013-09-12 02:55:39 +0000 UTC]

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AliceDae [2013-08-10 03:25:48 +0000 UTC]

Q_Q   

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kataraTakaran [2011-03-03 08:49:57 +0000 UTC]

What os this i dont even-!!! I roflmao'd so hard

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kylie625 [2011-02-27 03:58:22 +0000 UTC]

omg!!!!lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

girz94 [2011-02-10 05:03:06 +0000 UTC]

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE IT

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

isuchanluvschuX3 [2011-02-09 05:52:57 +0000 UTC]

that was one of the most.......AMAZING STORIES I'VE EVER READ!

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Twisted-Indigo [2011-01-18 22:02:42 +0000 UTC]

LOLWTF??

That was hilarious.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to Twisted-Indigo [2011-01-19 04:00:45 +0000 UTC]

:D

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touchntease [2011-01-16 18:23:54 +0000 UTC]

this is why men are lazy? lol because of buttraping oranges, I don't quite get you message sir

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KiraMoses [2011-01-04 03:27:02 +0000 UTC]

XD that's awesome.

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sovereign9 [2010-12-30 15:38:23 +0000 UTC]

ok, so, i laughed my ass off!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

yeti235187 [2010-12-28 03:08:42 +0000 UTC]

AWESOME!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DaughterOfArtemis238 [2010-12-22 18:14:43 +0000 UTC]

ur sooo smart

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to DaughterOfArtemis238 [2010-12-22 18:35:20 +0000 UTC]

thx u

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ShugaRush97 [2010-11-26 04:43:15 +0000 UTC]

i literally, rotflmao for about 5 minutes XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to ShugaRush97 [2010-11-28 07:17:24 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KirigamiRiguya [2010-11-25 07:29:23 +0000 UTC]

Oh god LOL
I love this story
LOLOL

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to KirigamiRiguya [2010-11-25 07:33:14 +0000 UTC]

:D

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Arkys442 [2010-11-18 03:14:39 +0000 UTC]

Haha that was quite laugh-inducing

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to Arkys442 [2010-11-18 03:23:52 +0000 UTC]

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alaxandrablaze [2010-11-08 02:48:25 +0000 UTC]

me and my boyfriend laughed unbelieveably HARD at this story. we envy you man.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to alaxandrablaze [2010-11-08 04:14:14 +0000 UTC]

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yaoifangirlkinaco [2010-11-02 22:22:28 +0000 UTC]

MASTERPEICE poor penis TT.TT

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to yaoifangirlkinaco [2010-11-02 22:40:19 +0000 UTC]

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LexiiBabii92 [2010-11-01 16:44:49 +0000 UTC]

thats.... creepy O.o

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to LexiiBabii92 [2010-11-01 20:56:58 +0000 UTC]

Yep.

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jjtoga47 [2010-10-26 23:12:59 +0000 UTC]

that is freakn amazingg XD

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Abfc In reply to jjtoga47 [2010-10-27 01:03:49 +0000 UTC]

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RS-Kyra [2010-07-26 04:13:06 +0000 UTC]

GENIUS I SAY.

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bucketsofclass [2010-07-22 03:09:15 +0000 UTC]

failfags for the kid who reported it.

also, i lol'd so hard at this. the whole time i was reading it. & i'm a woman, i know what i'm talking about.

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yummy7890 [2010-05-29 02:44:21 +0000 UTC]

tee-hee




-*^~cinaboms are mushy crap~^*-

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BulletProof123 [2010-05-28 00:13:47 +0000 UTC]

XD i love this

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Pokewes [2010-05-27 03:09:26 +0000 UTC]

? OK?...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to Pokewes [2010-05-27 04:06:23 +0000 UTC]

Go away.

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Pokewes In reply to Abfc [2010-05-28 23:52:25 +0000 UTC]

...

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Rani-the-alien [2010-04-11 02:57:38 +0000 UTC]

O_o

I can't tell whether I'm disturbed or just amazed.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to Rani-the-alien [2010-04-11 03:59:27 +0000 UTC]

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arabian2709 [2010-02-17 00:23:28 +0000 UTC]

Haha, I loved it! Good job!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Abfc In reply to arabian2709 [2010-02-17 19:15:22 +0000 UTC]

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tamkittyxyz [2010-02-16 05:42:08 +0000 UTC]

It offends yet amuses me..
I wish my imaginary penis would do that.. imaginary penises are worth a sack of shit.
The kind that doesn't fertalize tomatoes.

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Abfc In reply to tamkittyxyz [2010-02-16 05:45:49 +0000 UTC]

The kind that fertilises tomatoes is delicious, with ketchup.

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tamkittyxyz In reply to Abfc [2010-02-16 05:50:27 +0000 UTC]

Unfortunatly I don't have that kind.
My imaginary penis is worth shit that doesn't taste good with ketchup.

..Is it strange that a 15 year old is saying these things?

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Abfc In reply to tamkittyxyz [2010-02-16 05:52:01 +0000 UTC]

Is it strange that I'm 12 and I wrote this?

Oh wait, I'm not 12, so it is strange.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

tamkittyxyz In reply to Abfc [2010-02-16 05:58:58 +0000 UTC]

Honestly, it isn't strange.
We all have that sick, sick person inside of us who wants to run about town naked and kill baby forest animals with a dead fish.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1


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