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Published: 2008-07-08 05:43:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 34919; Favourites: 328; Downloads: 253
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Description
Once upon a time, there live an abnormally large penis who....ate a bowling ball. He then became thirsty for..
..a bucket of cheese coated walrus juice. But that wasn't enough..
.., for, you see, this penis was half werewolf and..
..lived a secret double-life as Harry Potter. The penis was..
..in love with Paris Hilton, in spite of her affection for many other penises, but..
..the abnormal large penis knew that Paris could see him for the..
..ungodly oversized ballsack he possessed; however, she still..
..refused to have passionate orange sex with the penis. This drove the penis..
..to homosexuality, from which vantage point he started hanging out at..
..Starbucks. Where all the happy perverted tiny..
..child penises were left unattended by their caffeine-high parents, so he..
..latched onto one of them, but to his surprise..
..the little penises had vaginas, which caused him to..
..reverse-fap quite rapidly. This gave the penis terrible carpet burn and so..
..he resolved to eat one of the baby penises, resulting in..
..massive heart-burn that spread to all the other penises in the vicinity, which caused..
..them to all simultaneously vomit their white fluids onto eachother. Then the policeboobs arrived and..
..began dancing to the macaroni. "Wingardium Leveosa!" yelled the harry potter penis..
..before he promptly pierced the boob's nipple with his wand and..
..caused it to fly off and land on the policeboobs. Where it then turned into an abnormally purple..
..orange. Yes, an abnormally purple orange. This orange was regular size, but it vibrated and..
..began to engulf the flock of penises is it's purple-orangeness. The penises orgasmed frantically..
..transforming the purple orange into a white one--a sticky white one--but they were not done yet, for..
..along came a much larger white--sticky white--orange. It then appeared to..
..buttrape the first orange, making it white on the inside until it was no longer an orange at all, but rather..
..a manbearpig. And one handsome manbearpig at that, the penises frolicked around the manbearpig and..
..begged for the privilege of sucking his bearpig cock and maybe fondling his manballs. This angered the manbearpig, however, and..
..caused the manbearpig to erupt horrible white lava. It spilled all over Starbucks until..
..the manager inevitably took it and started selling it as a new type of iced drink. It sold millions and swept the nation..
..they even won a nobel peace prize! But all was not well in Kansas..
..BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK? "Screw Kansas," said the penis, while he..
..did just that, and attempted to rape the small farm town. But alas it was far too large for..
..him to feel anything, his cock only being the size of a large mansion. Annoyed, he decided to..
..thrust his invisible pelvis in the faces of all the leaders of the world. Including the very seductive..
..Barbara Bush, also known as George Washington, but soon his eyes melted and his cock deflated. Defeated, he..
..decided to move to Mexico, where nobody judged anybody of the size of their genitals. This is where the penis..
..met the love of his life: a disgusting and unkempt pussy. They..
..started a family together; full of many abnormally orange vagina.
The end...? ಠ_ಠ
Related content
Comments: 861
Abfc In reply to ??? [2010-02-16 06:03:50 +0000 UTC]
I clubbed a baby seal this morning.
WHAT.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
tamkittyxyz In reply to Abfc [2010-02-16 06:05:52 +0000 UTC]
I am aware of which bumper sticker you are talking about.
Impressed?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Abfc In reply to tamkittyxyz [2010-02-16 06:06:50 +0000 UTC]
What bumper sticker? I just like the prospect of beating a small animal to death with a blunt object.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
tamkittyxyz In reply to Abfc [2010-02-16 06:09:31 +0000 UTC]
Frightenly similar to a bumper sticker I read.
..Huh, I wonder if the owner of that car still lives around here.. I kinda wanna go find out.
Oh well.
...WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT, SIR?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Abfc In reply to tamkittyxyz [2010-02-16 06:18:44 +0000 UTC]
DICKS.
I LOVE DICKS.
BIG DICKS, SMALL DICKS, SHORT DICKS, TALL DICKS.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
tamkittyxyz In reply to Abfc [2010-02-16 06:24:01 +0000 UTC]
Oh, we're on the same wavelength then.
...I can kinda draw dicks.
..And you?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Abfc In reply to tamkittyxyz [2010-02-16 06:28:36 +0000 UTC]
You can draw dicks? You're now my new best friend.
I do not draw, as it turns out.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
tamkittyxyz In reply to Abfc [2010-02-16 06:37:05 +0000 UTC]
Yay, I feel accepted!
Oh.
That is most unfortunate.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Abfc In reply to tamkittyxyz [2010-02-16 06:44:54 +0000 UTC]
Not really. I can push a button on a camera, it's just as good.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
tamkittyxyz In reply to Abfc [2010-02-16 06:47:48 +0000 UTC]
Ah, I see.
You have quite a skill there, I hear it's very difficult.
Well, I have school in the morning, so I bid you goodnight.
Have a pleasant whatever timezone your in and I hope to continue this ridiculous conversation.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Abfc In reply to tamkittyxyz [2010-02-16 07:11:25 +0000 UTC]
I'm in pacific, and good night to you kind female sir.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
nintendo309 In reply to Abfc [2010-03-08 00:55:04 +0000 UTC]
Good morning, you lovers of dicks.
Just out of curiosity, what color of dicks do you like better, blue or green? I rather fancy the third choice myself.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Abfc In reply to nintendo309 [2010-03-08 01:23:06 +0000 UTC]
I'm quite content with pink canine penis, thanks.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
nintendo309 In reply to Abfc [2010-03-11 00:18:46 +0000 UTC]
That's disgusting.
Pink is a horrible color.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
peep-unplugged In reply to ??? [2009-11-29 23:19:35 +0000 UTC]
you see THESE are the things we should read in English...
not "Of Mice and Men"
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
juggleart In reply to peep-unplugged [2009-12-02 18:53:33 +0000 UTC]
haha We had about that shitty book too! >_<
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
juggleart In reply to peep-unplugged [2009-12-02 22:49:31 +0000 UTC]
yeah, sucks monkey nuts!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
xXMiss-SceneShineXx [2009-11-29 22:29:19 +0000 UTC]
Oh my babies. That was the greatest read of my life.
o_o
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Abfc In reply to mystical-machine-gun [2009-11-30 05:27:39 +0000 UTC]
Thanks. Also, did someone feature this? I have like, an abnormal amount of comments on it today.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mystical-machine-gun In reply to Abfc [2009-11-30 10:15:46 +0000 UTC]
I have no idea if someone featured this, but... ... that does seem quite odd.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Junk-Romantic In reply to ??? [2009-10-18 17:23:56 +0000 UTC]
This is so wrong and funny that i actually fell in love with it... not the penis the deviation!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Abfc In reply to Junk-Romantic [2009-10-18 18:39:39 +0000 UTC]
We both know full well you fell in love with the penis itself.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Junk-Romantic In reply to Abfc [2009-10-20 20:12:03 +0000 UTC]
shhh! dont tell anyone! its our secret
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
SwordSlingingWolf In reply to Abfc [2009-10-07 13:11:02 +0000 UTC]
XD yay!
Sorry got carried away. The story was funny as hell though
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Dawn-Sohma [2009-09-19 12:41:27 +0000 UTC]
WHAT THE FUCK??? Fl. That was fucking weird.
My taste!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Razor13 In reply to ??? [2009-09-17 01:29:00 +0000 UTC]
This is awesome! I love collabs like this.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Razor13 In reply to Abfc [2009-09-17 02:33:36 +0000 UTC]
Was this something that was done out of whimsy or did you discuss doing something like this and half plan it?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Abfc In reply to Razor13 [2009-09-17 04:57:21 +0000 UTC]
Just pulled it out of our collective rectum.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
pat-erass In reply to ??? [2009-08-23 05:04:55 +0000 UTC]
haha this is brilliant! me and my friend couldnt stop laughing
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
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