HOME | DD
AlfaFilly — The Selection - page 36
Published: 2009-12-31 07:31:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 10664; Favourites: 95; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
Next Page: alfafilly.deviantart.com/art/T…Previous page: alfafilly.deviantart.com/art/T…
First page: alfafilly.deviantart.com/art/T…
I'm sorry again for the lateness. But I'm not going to give any excuse as I don't really think there's a need to. I am sorry I wasn't able to get a page out once-a-week for this month, but hey, I nearly made it! I'll try to make the next page next week but after that the old schedule returns.
HEY LOOK THERE'S SOME FEDDY COLORS THERE OMG
I am fond of most of this page, actually. The only thing I don't favor the least is panel 5 (the boots). Ugh, could not get that perspective at all accurate. If anyone could, I'd appreciate any redlines possible on it. But only redlines. I highly doubt I'll be able to fix it by a description alone. Many thanks in advance to anyone who could help!
Kailani needs to freakin' stop being emo and SUCK IT UP.
Gawd.
Pssst, by the way, TheDarkestPrince and I have a little surprise to tell you next page. Oh-hurhur *wink*
---
Favorite panel: Last Least Favorite panel: 5
Personal Crits (ones I'd prefer you not mention): -Perspectives. ;o;
Constructive Criticism, pointing out flaws, and spelling/grammatical help is DEFINITELY helpful!
Copyright © C. "Filly" Boone, AlfaFilly
Do not alter or distribute without permission.
Related content
Comments: 234
Oookie-dokie. This will hopefully by much easier to critique! 
The last thing I'm going to say is that at first I didn't get why Kailani was getting scared. I'm guessing that 'ding' is a sound from the door opening, so she recoiled thinking Federico was coming? When I first saw this, I thought the ding was coming from the clock, so I didn't get it. 
The stairs don't look right to me, but I know if I tried to fix them they'd probably end up being even more wrong, so D=
But yeah, good page. ^^ The build-up for this reveal is very well-done.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Haha, thank you so much! <3
Oh no, it is from the clock! Like how the clock strikes midnight. She's more-so scared at that point because it's so late and she's afraid he's not going to show up. Does that make more sense? 8o
Ugh, those stairs are horrid!
Thank you thank you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I got an idea . You should make it into animation episodes in youtube .
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Heehee I wish I could! That would be awesome. I don't have time unfortunately :'c
👍: 0 ⏩: 4
I thought that she was going to crying 😭!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
what is UNFORTUNATELY anyway? May I ask? so what are you doing for today? It is hot outside of my school. You know?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I so can't wait to see what happens next
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
What you say, girl? Those boots are fabulous.
The border between panel 5 and 6 is a little uneven.
Another page of darkness and no talking? Everything was chatty and bright, and then two in a row. I admire the skill, what you can show with gloomy pictures and a few sound effects.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Well thnx huurhuurr
Ooh it is! I wonder what caused that? Oh well, I shall fix!
Thank you. I definitely must say I prefer pages that reveal themselves in complete silence than having to rely entirely on dialogue. It's a much better challenge.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I started reading your comic today, and I'm totally loving it! I got to this page and it was like hitting a wall, I want to see what happens next D: The story is just great!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Daww xD Thanks!
Well, next page should be out soon!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo the end of the page noooooo shaking have to see end!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It shall come I promise!
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
So do you think that she is going to be ok when she meet her mate right now ⭐️?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
lol ok 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ooh, that'd be interesting! Like a giant iphone, haha xD
I might try it out!
Oh surely! It's no trouble. After all, I cannot copyright a creature with multiple tails!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oh wow 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sittin' on the dock of a baaayy, waiting for some bachelors to come my waaaay...
Three general thoughts, in a redline form: [link]
Aparently the file must be "downloaded" for full view. Silly NG
Also, I suspect that the hands in the last panel are too short. Or maybe the body is. Can't put my finger on what exactly is off.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh PFF
That made me giggle.
Ah, many thanks, many thanks! Can always use helpful tips on those types of things! (Especially if they involve perspective issues or those little things you overlook)
I think it's the body. His belt is put up a bit too high. At the way this shows he'd be wearing Steve Urkle trousers! I just noticed it while working on page 37. Definitely a must fix.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Yup. I'mma gonna slap him for being late! I don't care how pointy and tall he is. I'm a woman! D8< WHERE WERE YOU? DID SOMEONE FORGET TO READ THEIR INVITATION TO THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN HISTORY?
I WAS BEGINNING TO THINK I WAS AN UNWANTED CREATURE!
Nice intro. 8D It's like a mooovie!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
DID YOU PICK UP SOME MILK ON THE WAY HOME?
IT HAD BETTER BE FAT FREE!
DOES THIS DRESS MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG?!
Why thaaanks!
I can imagine it now. Epic zoom in. Suspenseful music. QUIET ON SET.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ah, marriage.
xD lawl. I mean... Shhhh.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
This page is TOTTALLY EPIC, even without words. (and I don't say epic very often)
Though there are still some odd things that I will point out, but hey, we're not perfect.
Alright, odd thing #1: In the 1st panel, Kailani has 2 of her tails on the floor and 1 next to her on the table. So, judging from the angle in the 4th panel, you should still be able to see her fox-like tail since it's so puffy and her lizard-like-glowy tail because the angle is slightly angled upward, leaving, at least, part of the tail slightly exposed and not hidden behind the black tail. Odd thing #2: The boots. I know you already said you didn't like how it came out and I don't know what a redline is, but the boots seem too "stiff". Boots are often rather jagged and not straight (well that's my opinion), so you using straight lines for them just doesn't seem right. In fact, it feels rather akward. And I don't think anybody in this whole world walks with a crooked step (that isn't crippled or mentally ill). And finally, odd thing #3: the hallway in the last panel. The way you drew the hallway in the panel before the last 1 made it feel like a rather average sized passage but perfectly built. In the next panel, the hallway seems to narrow very quickly into a corner. It completely destroys the feeling of that perfect hallway, and it almost feels like an illusion. Plus the window is wrong, it's not angled along with that hallway. Either you made a very clear mistake OR those Ambivians don't mind imperfection and make really weird windows. Oh my, I missed one. Odd thing #4: the "Ta-tok". I have no idea how to interpret this or how to think on this or even picture how he is walking to make this sound. What, does he like step on his heel to make the "Ta-" then press the rest of his boot down to finish it off with the "Tok"? I just tried that, and even though it wasn't with boots, it doesn't seem possible to make that sound. And no amount of the building's infra-structure, strange boot material or custom made soles will help create that sound either. I'm sorry, I just don't believe a sound like that can be created with average looking boots (And just because they're Feddy's boots doesn't change a thing!!!).
By the way, what tHE HECK IS WITH ALL OF THE FLOATING OBJECTS?!!! If you can't support how they work or maybe even how they're made, why are they there?!
Oh well, I'll just make up my own theory then.
One last thing, someone being emo is not to be hate upon or treated so harshly.
It helps get those kinds of feelings out you know? It lifts up your spirit up AFTERWARDS (well for me it does). So let Kailani do her thing (even though she's not really real).
I feel like I understand her more when she does that, because it implies when something's on in her brain. That's why my favorite panel is #4, even with the missing tails in the picture.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Haha, thank you for going in depth with all of those! I totally forgot about the tails entirely. I had them in the sketch but I guess I accidentally looked over them in the ink stage. I really should pay greater attention to those things.
As far as the sound effects go, I pretty much know that a big man like Federico would most likely make a "CLUMP" sound when walking, but I had to consider reader comfort. I don't want readers to look and think "WTF what kind of sound is that" which is why I made a poll recently asking what sound is more clear, and well, the majority of my watchers chose "tok".
And as far as the floating objects are concerned, I really don't see how it's a big deal. Do you honestly think Ambivians with their stilt legs could walk normally? Or how the crap they can see with square irises/pupil? This is a work of fiction. Things can be stretched (though, mind you, I'm not very keen on this and try to have everything make the most sense it can) but come on, this is science fiction. Explain Star Trek. Or Star Wars. How do half the things in there work? We don't know how to make flesh-slicing light sabers that can cut your hand off (close though I assume) nor do we know how to make space ships. Though I love my things to make the most sense, let's face it, not everything can. I sort of like to make it so it leaves an open gap for the reader to interpret and think "why". ~tbolt is a mechanic and he mentioned having fun trying to figure out how the limo with the track balls for wheels could possibly work. (Of course, I do have some ideas working in my head and eventually I may come to a conclusion on how things work, but even if I did I wouldn't be able to explain them in the story itself as that would be a bit of unnecessary exposition. Ugh, darn you fiction writing!)
So yes, making up your own theory is sort of what I'm going for.
Aww, ya know, you are right there. It shows she had human emotion (though not human). You make a lot of sense. C:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It isn't such a big deal about the technology there, but it is to me. Well thanks for saying that, I shall hold comments like that to myself from now on.
Stilt legs are a little odd, yes, but it could be possible to walk the way we do if it be possible for me to have an autopsy report on them. The Ambivians are born that way so they know how to walk with those stilt legs (in fact, they would regard us as freaks!). Besides, I was talking about Federico's legwork. He is OBVIOUSLY NOT an Ambivian, too many details give that away. So, I'm not sure why you used the Ambivian race as an example
By the way, it is possible that everything can make sense. Whether you simply understand it to make sense or believe it to make sense, it's still possible. Just because they haven't made a space ship doesn't mean they don't know how. What I'm trying to say is, I just simply won't condescend anything just because poeple say things. I keep my mind open as far as I can to allow the ideas to flow in. I'm just upset that you can't explain how it works. I would have loved to learn how those things worked.
I make sense? Wow, your like the 1st person to say that. I just reply about the things I see, and how I feel about them. Though when I read my own comments, I feel like dead shell....
I wouldn't say human emotion; just say emotion. Any animal, insect, mammal, sea creature, etc. can feel emotions. I find it possible to believe that. So just think about that!...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Actually I'm pretty sure their legs would give out under their body weight. Their legs don't have enough muscle mass to keep them upright :'D But then again I am concepting about their planet having lighter gravity so in that case the stilt legs would work better because their weight would be less. But I am uncertain.
I hope to eventually come up with explanations as to how a lot of the technology works but usually those come up after I've made them. That probably makes no sense at all, but somehow that's how my brain works.
Naw, not at all! You made good sense.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Crap! Your right! XD
I'm sure they are just as tall as we are (just assuming -_- ), so with thin legs like that, plus all the added stress on they're bone where it bends, they probably wouldn't be able to support their own weight.
That's cool!
Maybe I could pitch in some ideas if you need any.
I would really appreciate it!
Science is so awesome! @.@
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah, they are only a bit taller than us. An average Ambivian stands about 7 and a half feet. Kailani is right at 7' and she is considered short. Brandon is probably the most average to a typical human male at around 6'9 but... still. Not even average men are typically that tall.
Surely! That would be most epic
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
If that world has less gravity, than it is possible for them to be able to walk with small muscle mass and all the stress that is forced on that curved "ankle"? But not only that, less gravity means less mass and less mass means a smaller world than Earth. The surface area of the Earth is 510,072,000 km^2, so your world would be smaller than that. And noticing about the gravity, I guess it does support their height. XD
Their gravity is weaker than ours, so there's less force pulling them down allowing their bodies to extend upward more in height (the lucky bastards 
On that note, are the Ambivian race water sacks like we are? That can help me answer some more details about their physical bodies. Like the fact that they could go without water much longer than we can and the things their body would require to maintain itself, cause you know we need a daily intake of certain substances that our bodies can't produce.
And also, if you want, you can have their world the same size as Earth, but it would have a much different composition than that of Earth. It would have to be comprised of less denser elements. And stuff like that affects the atmosphere, the electromagnetic fields, and all the other good stuff. Something like that could take awhile...but it's your choice, just trying to give you more options.
Sorry for the long comment, but I just can't stop (and you kind of encouraged me). Since I'm in the matter of science, I think I have an idea about that camera that can also help with all other floaty objects: in the book Uglies (by Scott Westerfeld), Tally rides her hoverboard that is powered by magnetism. Every city's entire foundation is made up of iron framework (and they also have giant metal rods and pipes underground that act as highways between them) to provide the energy for all the transportation vehicles and the perfect element to keep them afloat. If you want to have things floating everywhere, then the crust of that world could be comprised of iron, nickle, and/or any other magnetic metal. Then again, it would only make the world denser, so it would have to be significantly smaller than Earth to have lower gravitational force of 9.8 m/s^2. And not only does the chemical make-up pf the world affects it's other features, but the things that live on it as well.
So many things about creating a new world, not enough space in our brains to handle it all. Hey, you taking this down?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
*turns around* GOD! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
You've said enough already!
Now give the girl some space! Jesus!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
*turns aruond again* Hey you!
I thought I silenced you! Stop telling me what to do and get back to that corner I left you in.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
*turns around YET AGAIN* FUCK YOU!
You can't silence me! You have to silence yourself first in order to achieve that!
Blah blah blah..............
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
*turns around halfway* Stop fighting you two. It's stressful enough to be in the same place all cramed together without you two fighting...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
*turns around all the way* Let them fight. If they kill each others, we'll have more space and some quiet time to finish our chess match. Besides, I never really liked them anyway.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
| Next =>