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AmberPalette — What was I supposed to do?
Published: 2011-05-08 17:41:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 2803; Favourites: 101; Downloads: 0
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"Did you think I wanted to do ANY of this? Did you think I DON'T FEEL? Did you think I could BREATHE IN WITHOUT YOU? Did you think I enjoyed freezin' this dagger-gash smile across my face for over a century--isolating myself from the world and paintin' a picture of myself as a ravenous snake? Makin' enemies left and right? Being mind-raped daily, cultivating an image of perfect loyalty to, that PSYCHOPATH who stepped on people like ants, and let his men steal your virginity, your dignity, your soul? WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?! LET him get AWAY with thieving your innocence? I LOVE you! That's all in this that is SURE an' TRUE--I LOVE YOU! I guess it's fuckin' TRAGIC that the belle of the ball should accept the love of something twisted and ugly. I guess the battle-scarred delegate of the Shinigami Men's Association, who's ALWAYS there because he has that LUXURY, who's capable of recognizing your demands for daily trinkets of affection, is preferable to the man who got his ARM ripped off and his belly impaled FOR YOU. I said sorry, I SAID SORRY. I MEANT it. Only thoughts of YOU sustained me through this mission....PLEASE....Give me the sadness I had to leave you naked to for so many years, I'll bear it up MYSELF--but DON'T tell me I did everything wrong. Don't TELL me, I know I made you cry again, I know I was trying to save you from tears but I was the only reason you cried--I know I'm the great tragic irony. I know I'm nothing, but you were NEVER ALONE. I was ALWAYS coming back, flaws an' all. I dreamt of big things--our kids together, our new home far from all this mess, because you used to tell me you always most missed our days in that abandoned old barn as little kids. I dreamt of little things too, like the smell of your skin, the feel of your hair, the sight of that mole by your lips I used to call your 'dot' and kiss for good luck. Those are still my dreams. I'm a hopeless dreamer under this snake skin. But is my spot under the persimmon tree with you taken? Did you finally get tired of waiting...? Am I banished...Rangiku? Am I damned an' dead? Is this my punishment?...What was I...supposed to do?"*****************************
hold on to me love
you know i can't stay long
all i wanted to say was, "I love you and I'm not afraid"
can you hear me?
can you feel me in your arms?
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
i'll miss the winter
a world of fragile things
look for me in the white forest
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
i know you hear me
i can taste it in your tears
Closing your eyes to disappear,
You pray your dreams will leave you here;
But still you wake and know the truth,
No one is there...
Say goodnight,
Don't be afraid,
Calling me, Calling me as you fade to black.
(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath
(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself
(Calling me, calling me) Are all my thoughts of you?
Sweet raptured life, it ends here tonight
~Evanescence
It was a wonderful challenge to draw Ichimaru Gin making an enraged facial expression. He only ever comes close, and I mean only close, when Aizen rips off his right arm and sends a shower of his own blood across his body. Even THEN Gin's face barely looks disturbed.
The cause of him making this face now is almost more MY response to the Bleach anime (NOT the manga), and part of the Bleach fandom, through my favorite Bleach character. And mostly, at an out-of-character Rangiku that official material seems to increasingly espouse, who would easily forget Gin and what he did on her behalf.
With the revelation that Gin was actually a man deeply in love with one woman all his life, a self-sacrificing soldier of vengeance who gave up his home, career, friends, reputation, and sanity for this woman, most of the Gin haters seemed abashed, and the Gin lovers only loved him more (including myself).
Lately, several months after this revelation was released in the manga, things seem to have changed. For one, the Bleach animation staff seems hellbent on pairing Rangiku up, in filler, with Hisagi Shuuhei. For another, they seem to enjoy cheapening her character to a fanservice slutty bimbo who often gropes her own boobs and uses her hot body excessively to get what she wants, which she is NOT in manga canon (there are of course hints of this, but tastefully suppressed so that the fans realize Rangiku is a serious, smart, strong lady and don't see her as a pair of knockers and nothing else).
Also, perhaps just as disturbing, a considerable sect of the fandom seems to be jumping on this bandwagon, making statements such as "well Gin is probably dead anyway so Rangiku needs to move on," or "Gin was an emotionally abusive bastard anyway," seeming to forget that 1) you cannot forget your entire childhood, your hero and happiness, over night, whether he is dead or not, and Rangiku is not so shallow that she would, and 2) Gin "abandoned" and "betrayed" Rangiku and Soul Society SOLELY in order to fool Aizen into thinking he was his most loyal follower, get close to Aizen, get the Hogyouku and retrieve the part of Rangiku's soul that was stolen, and then kill Aizen. Do we all forget how pure Gin's MOTIVES were, even if his actions were flawed???? Motives REALLY matter in character analysis!
I recall that I even once received a nasty comment on one of my GinRan pics stating that "Hisagi would be better in bed than Gin, so why not?"(as if that's all that matters in a real and lasting relationship). Just. Shallow facetious attacks on the GinRan pairing that seem very sudden but very decisive. Hisagi is wonderful, and kind, and sturdy, but he's only Rangiku's drinking buddy, and the relationship is rather obviously one-sided. It wouldn't even be fair to him.
If people still want to do so, that's FINE. I even have a HisagiXRangiku picture in my favorites gallery, to show that I tolerate the pairing preference, even though I disagree with it with every fiber of my freakin' body. Can't we live and let live here????
So. This is me sort of striking out against all this nonsense. Couldn't we try to remember to ? And couldn't we give Gin a CHANCE here? He did what he thought was the right thing to do for the person he loved most in the world. Even if he went about it all wrong, he did not do so out of fickleness or malice--it was an honest mistake, perhaps DUE to the intensity with which he loved Rangiku. Please cut this wonderful tragic character some slack!
*********************************
Finally, this is a last-ditch overture to a person with whom I, playing Gin, used to rp Rangiku. I have a new Rangiku now, but that doesn't mean I no longer value YOUR Rangiku. I know you think Gin and the person who broke your heart are synonymous, and that this makes you leery of going near Gin's character. But they're not. A real-life Gin would not really callously ditch the wonderful woman that you are. Remember, Gin's actions were a RUSE to FOOL AIZEN. They were not a REAL abandonment. You are still waiting for YOUR Gin, and he will come. When he comes, you will never have to doubt his love for a moment. If we could ever rp this pairing again....it would make me so happy. Nothing, fandom-wise, makes me happier really than this pairing. But...I understand if that is not possible. I will respect that. After all, I have no intentions of begging. I've made peace with the fact that it's probably over.
Perhaps my days as as Bleach fan are numbered, in general. Who knows.
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Comments: 67
A well thought out theory indeed!
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0-0 I just read every word of what you said and it is so true! I very highly dislike the way people hate on Gin sometimes. Ive seen people call him some very rude names lately TT^TT And for Rangiku and Hisagi? I have to say, Hisagi is an amazing guy, but I dont think him and Rangiku would really work out. I My favorite pairing in the world is probably Gin and Rangiku ^_^ And for what you said about them making Ran-chan act like a bimbo 0-0 I have not been watching fillers. How dare they make her like that >=w Rangiku has been my fav. character (along with Gin) ever since I started watching Bleach (I even made my own Rangiku necklace, plus I have the same mole where she has it 0-0)! I love how you go so deep into thought with this! X3 plus you love almost ALL the characters and couples I do XD I will love you and your AMAZING artwork FOREVER!!!~
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Well this is a very kind comment, and also thoughtful! ^_^ Many thanks!
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btw, what's the name of the evanescence song?
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My Last Breath, it's from Fallen I believe!
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i absolutely love this!! the way you capture what's been going on inside is just stunning. and i completely agree with you. in my mind, gin is actually hiding under byakuya's house will rangiku is pleading his case to the gotei 13 and then he'll prove himself by saving ichigo from some stupid rut he got himself into again. and then everything will be happy!! yaay.
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I like your version! 
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I miss him. D:
I like how you express his feelings! They probably accurately portray his anger towards, well, everything that happened in the end.
I still want Rangiku to be with Gin! D: I cried when he died.
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I am with you! And thanks so much for the compliments!
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Interesting, I'm a GinxRan shipper myself, but over the time, it's only sane for Rangiku to move on (it doesn't mean to forget). Although, I kinda wish that Gin is just hiding....
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True on both counts for me too!
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By the way, how has the anime been pairing Rangiku with Shuuhei, I don't doubt you, I'm just curious. (I'm ready to break out acid bombs here.)
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I honestly stopped watching the anime after Aizen was put in prison because some bizarre filler came after that featuring Kon as the main character 
As for your question....Lots of heavy handed hints in omakes after the episodes for some time now, and there was an entire episode in the early 400's (pairing them up when Hitsugaya sent them on a mission to kill a hollow together) where Rangiku called Shuuhei "the only person in all of Seireitei that I could rely on" and Izuru made lots of cracks about Shuuhei having the hots for Rangiku. It seemed slightly one-sided, but she sure did a lot of shameless flirting for someone in love with someone else since childhood....
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I agree, when a great love of your life dies, you do NOT immediately go flirting with other guys! And Rangiku is too awesome for that!
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I thought that it was pretty ooc, yeah!
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anyway, Gin & Ran are soul mates. Shuuhei is nice and all, but no. Sorry, dude, but get another girl.
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After Gin died by Aizen, he grew on me. And then after reading all that, it makes me like him even more! But people should know that Hisagi isn't better than Gin because he's dead. Gin goes with Rangiku, and people should know that, without second guessing it.
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That's certainly a more politically correct way of putting it, "lack of professional prowess". I never had that problem with other anime. It's disconcerting to say the least. Rurouni Kenshin had some awesome fanfiction. Anyway, I'll have to send you some of my stuff some time. That is if you don't mind original characters.
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No gladly, send away! I must admit I have a pretty pressing work and school schedule, but I can try to put aside time to pleasure-read.
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Yeah I know. I graduated with a BA in English creative writing, so I'm used to writing long pieces. I have no problem planning out a story and writing the fun exciting parts. It's the in between parts that give me trouble. I drift off during those in between parts and start working on other things and by the time I get back to it my writing style has changed and I gotta start over from scratch. lol It's a vicious cycle lol
Actually, I love dried persimmons. I buy 1 pound bags off this organic website. I'm an actress and persimmons have ungodly amounts of fiber so they fill you up fast, which is great when you're doing dress rehearsal at midnight and you need a snack to get you through act two. And because they're so full of fiber they don't leave crumbs or anything on your costume or take any of your make-up off. They're the perfect snack for actors.
I figured Gin would be in charge of agriculture because his name means market place, doesn't it? Oh and since snakes like to frequent rice fields, Gin also has a separate building where he rehabilitates injured snakes found during planting, growing and harvest season. He also has a room with poisonous snakes which he milks for squad 12s use. He calls them his 'babies'. And he loves his job as basically a farmer. It's a great source of pride for him, yet another reason he hates doing Aizen's bidding. He'd rather stay with his squad doing his job as captain. Somewhere it does mention in one of the drama cds that Gin started acting like an ass toward Aizen after Gin became captain, so I figured once he was out of constant ear and eye shot of Aizen he found he enjoyed his job as captain and enjoyed being away from his oppressor.
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Gin rehabilitating hurt baby snakes makes me want to squeal copiously 
Yeah I am a PhD student in art history. The amount of prose one has to produce, edit, and reproduce is remarkable. Of course this is analytical prose, which is different than fiction. For one, it's less fun, LOL. Kudos to you, and good luck, I understand what you are saying but more with respect to making images. I will start like ten drawings at once and only maybe two make it past the preliminary sketch stage.
Ohhhh~ I have never had them dried like Gin and Ran like them XD I have only ever had ripe hachiya persimmons. They only come to where I live during Christmas time :/
Gin's name can mean a number of things from what I understand (though marketplace was never one I came across, interesting!) but most people adhere to the translation "A single silver man." Ichimaru can mean "one man," and people like that translation because Gin is the only silver-haired male cast member in Bleach. One I prefer however is "well-rounded one" or "one who comes full circle" (ichi is one and maru has to do with circles) which taken together is "the silver well-rounded one/the silver one who comes full circle." I think it fits Gin's personality and Tite Kubo stats really well.
I would love to get my hands on that drama CD. That is very interesting.
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Yeah our usual was to write 100 page papers for prose or screen plays. Most people see 100 pages and get so intimidated, but 100 pages is nothing. My stories usually last for close to 400 pages. Like I said, it's just hard to get past those parts that are in between the big events (the down time in stories).
I've got so many fanfiction that's Gin/Ran it's not even funny. I just can't find any fanfiction I like. Most of the people who write fanfiction for Bleach are in high school and college and it's like none of them know how to make a grammatically correct sentence. I can't even make it past the first paragraph for most of the stories found on fanfiction.net and I've tried to read all of them. Yeah I know I'm picky which is why I write my own.
I've got a fic where Rangiku's been commissioned to take pictures for the women's association. They're selling calendars to raise funds. Izuru is trying to commission Gin to get pictures of Rangiku for the same reason but for the men's association. After some coaxing, Gin decides it might be fun.
I've got another fic where Gin and Rangiku are celebrating their birthday together. They're best friends/lovers who barely get to see each other and their birthday is in the same month so it made sense to me to celebrate at the same time. Figured they'd take a whole weekend to themselves.
And lots of others. Too many to count lol. I think Gin and Rangiku are the first couple I've written about where both characters are part of the series. Usually I create a character and then I get a lot of people yelling at me for creating a character of my own. Cause being creative is bad apparently...Go figure.
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I KNOW, RIGHT? I LOVE writing long things! It's so much more liberating than having to condense (not that one shouldn't still be concise)!
Your GinRan fics sound very sweet and humorous. I keep starting one but haven't been able to maintain the appropriate headspace for months. :/ I have several short chapters. Perhaps I should instead do like an anthology of vignettes....
Lol I tend to like canonical pairings, except several in Harry Potter, which by the end of the series was itself a poorly written fanfiction (lol sorry, I have strong strong feelings about Deathly Hallows). People should relax about pairings....
I agree, most fanfiction transparently evinces a lack of professional prowess
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lol Oh I'll do more than that. I'll make him captain again. Just gonna take a while. First Gin will have to help round up all those shinigami who allied themselves with Aizen. To gather all those souls, Aizen would have had to have an awful lot of people working under him. We already know that there's a yakuza in Rukongai. Aizen could have easily bargained with the yakuza. But then there's the trouble with low level thugs. Thugs need instant gratification to keep them loyal. Aizen, with all his research, could have easily created a drug using processed hollow particles.
I'm having this drug be like PCP. It's hallucinogenic in nature by making someone with low to mid level spiritual pressure feel like they're on par with a captain. They feel they can get away with anything, do anything and the more risky/illegal the better. As a side effect, the person on this drug has an enormous appetite for everything. As a result, the child sex market in Rukongai has sky rocketed, low level shinigami are known for taking over the bars, gambling halls, pleasure houses. It's rampant. On the other hand, if the person taking this drug is a high level shinigami (5th seat and up) they will have a violent reaction to the drug. They'll get sick, seizures, etc. It isn't a pleasant experience for a high level shinigami. Someone with too little spiritual pressure won't feel a thing.
So there's going to be a whole underground to the soul society that those in authority in the Seireitei don't even know about. Gin will help them clean up the even bigger mess that Aizen created through this underground organized crime ring by naming off all those shinigami who are involved. Some are victims, some are instigators, some are plain evil. Gin will start his sentence by naming names so they can weed out the baddies.
The next part of his sentence will be to spend a month with each squad. I'm going to have it that the Seireitei is a self-sustaining society. Meaning they don't rely on Rukongai for basic necessities. Each squad has a military purpose and an every day purpose within the Seireitei. Gin, who's spiritual pressure has been sealed by each of the captains or acting captains of each squad, will be working with each squad doing their every day work.
Squad 1 takes in all the daily reports written up by each member of each squad, summarizes them and binds them together to send on to Central 46 for review.
Squad 2 is security. They serve as the basic police force as well as all the specialty branches of a local/state/federal police services.
Squad 3 is in charge of all the agriculture for the Seireitei. They provide all the troops with everything that has to be grown on their plates for all their meals. Rice, vegetables, fruit and soy products. They also provide medicinal herbs for squad 4 and poisonous plants for squad 12 as well as a green house that supports all the flowers that represent the different squads.
Squad 4 is of course the hospital and relief squad.
Squad 5 produces all the raw materials for use as office supplies. They create paper, ink bars, brushes, blocks for carving into seals for stamping government documents and signatures, etc.
Squad 6 is the sweat shop with Byakuya as the kingpin foreman. All raw materials are transferred to squad 6 to be refined into seals, uniforms, decorative wall scrolls for official decor, furniture, etc.
Squad 7 are in charge of putting meat on the table. They raise cattle, poultry, etc. They also hunt wild game.
Squad 8 is in charge of records. Anything documents from the past 2 centuries is stored in squad 8 unless they are sealed by Central 46 in the great library.
Squad 9 is in charge of printing all the official documents. So all the government forms that the squads need to fill out for their daily reports are printed out in squad 9.
Squad 10 is in charge of water treatment. The irrigation system for Squad 3. Fresh water fit for consumption. Sewage treatment. All of that is handled by squad 10.
Squad 11 are the fisherman. Think Deadliest Catch. Yeah they've got the river edible fish, but they also go out on the high sea and catch the big stuff too. I can just picture Kenpachi flicking off a hurricane, laughing hysterically. "Bring it on!! Show me what you got!"
Squad 12 is research and development. Anything technological you see around Seireitei was created and manufactured by them.
Squad 13 is in charge of textiles. They harvest silk, cotton, wool, etc and form it into thread and cloth to send on to squad 6 to be produced into uniforms, regular clothing and other uses.
Once Gin gets through each of the squads. The captains will reconvene to determine what to do next. Gin will go through each of the squads 13 times a month per squad. Each time he goes through and passes, they will remove one of the 13 seals.
After that he will be named captain again, but he'll have to wear an ankle monitor for a while and be confined to his squad's grounds. With the added bonus of spending his weekends in the squad 4 hospital for continued community service.
After a year with the ankle monitor, if the captains approve, he can get the monitor off and be full captain again. So he'll be going through a lot to get to be captain again. He'll have to really prove himself and his loyalty.
I just hope I can finish all of that. I have a tendency to dream big and not finish what I started...
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A word of advice from someone who is required to write large quantities of quality prose every week: Just chip away at it daily, without thinking about the vastness of the project, get it in rough draft form quickly, and then nitpick at it as long as you like, and it WILL get done. 
"I'm going to have it that the Seireitei is a self-sustaining society. Meaning they don't rely on Rukongai for basic necessities. Each squad has a military purpose and an every day purpose within the Seireitei." <--I like this and it makes a lot of sense considering there is clearly little to no access into Seireitei by Rukongai denizens.
I get warm fuzzies at the idea that squad three is in charge of agriculture :3 (and poisons LOL >83 nicely dualistic, just like the squad and its leader. Even Gin liking persimmons is a wonderful symbol. I don't know if you've ever eaten one, but persimmons are the most revolting thing in the world before ripe. They LITERALLY leech all the moisture off your tongue when you bite into them pre-ripe. But once ripe, they are as sweet as some kind of melon or apricot. They are delicious and tender. somehow that all reminds me of Gin's outer appearance vs his real intentions, or even Kubo's famous line that Gin represents "an intention to kill that is beautiful, like love...").
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Oh, I'm not going to be nice to Gin. I'm known for being really cruel to the characters I'm using or creating, which is why I'm hoping my happy ending will be more plausible. Cause Gin won't get off scott free. I'm thinking probation with a series of community services over the course of at least 15 years before he can be made captain again. And even then, he'll have someone from squad 2 with him at all times to monitor him and a house arrest ankle bracelet for a series of time. He'll only be able to stay within the squad 3 grounds for several years and then he'll get the ankle monitor off and be able to act as captain freely.
I like April. I like creating characters to add to a series. I know it's very unpopular, but I really don't care what people think. And it's not like she's some omnipotent character. She has no combat experience. So when Kisuke is training her, he has to teach her the basics of the basics in hand to hand combat. She also has no knowledge of her power. She thinks something's wrong with her that she has excess static electricity and it's just coincidence that it rains when she dances at her Lakota tribe's powwows. Plus, the shinigami will kill her because of the rule established 2 thousand years ago if she's unable to control her power at any time. Or if she's unable to control her power she has the possibility of completely destroying herself and a good chunk of the Earth along with her. She doesn't even have an active roll with the main plot of Bleach. Kisuke trains her whenever he's not in the main plot of Bleach. And during the battle with Aizen, April is controlling the weather. She's not participating in the main battles at all.
Oh and Bleach Asylum is a forum community about all things Bleach, including fanart and other fanworks. The RPG is just part of it. If you like Bleach, you'd probably like BA.
Not a problem about your short response. Everything outside of the computer is more important than the computer stuff, especially family and family responsibilities.
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Well I should clarify--"nice" to me isn't a "Disney" scenario either, it's him being allowed 1) to live and 2) to end up with Rangiku. Lol, that's all I ask.
Your stories sound like they have great basis in discerning, detailed thought and in character-driven action. Good luck with them!
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I'm actually writing a series of fanfictions that interconnect. One involving Kisuke and the other involving Rangiku and Gin. I'm trying to write a full epic fanfiction about the truth that is Gin. I actually have two ideas for that, but I don't know which one I want to do. One idea I have is just starting at the beginning before Rangiku and Gin meet. What happened that led to their meeting and what happened after up to beyond the point we've gotten to presently.
My other idea is they've apprehended Gin and plan on interrogating him. It is, however, decided that no one can trust his testimony so another method of interrogation is needed. Mayuri has developed a device/chemical that projects someone's memories onto a screen. They're unable to lie. The captains and Lieutenants (with the exception of Momo who's in the hospital and isane who's tending to her needs) will be watching all of Gin's memories to decide what to present to Central 46 as evidence for or against him.
Either one (I may do both) I choose to do, Gin will be getting the best case scenario. Not many fanfictions are written in which Gin gets everything he wants, so I want to write that and make it plausible and not Disney pretty.
My other fanfiction is about Kisuke and a character I created. April Bosville is an American who has moved into a house across the street from Urahara Shoten. She's of special interest to Kisuke because she has an unusual amount of spiritual pressure. Turns out she's a race of human females that were thought to be extinct called Wakanda. Wakanda is one of many names for this race. It's a Native American term for magical woman. She has the ability to borrow from nature. She's unaware of her ability and it's been sealed with a series of seals that have been placed on her chakra points that have to be broken in order to release her. Back when mankind was first created by the king of spirits the balance between life and death was placed in the hands of two groups. The death gods (shinigami) who governed death and the Wakanda who guided and protected those who were alive. However, the power of the Wakanda doubles with each generation. Eventually the Wakanda couldn't control their power anymore and it was decided the generational cycle needed to be destroyed to maintain the balance. This sparked the organization of the Soul Society since both death and life was now being governed by the shinigami. One Wakanda managed to stay alive and that is April's grandmother. As soon as the females in her family show signs of having the power, they are sealed. Times have changed and it is highly unlikely that the seals will ever break and so the girls in her family never even know about their power. April, however, has a dream of rejoining her best friend (and godparents daughter) in Japan. She accepts a job as a substitute science teacher/dance instructor at Karakura High School. She's been researching herself. She's an environmental scientist/professional dancer & instructor. Whenever she dances outside, it rains. She also stores up an unusual amount of static electricity than normal humans. It's the only signs she shows of her Wakanda powers and she's unaware of what she is. Kisuke thinks he can figure out how to help her control her power and wants to recruit her to help them in the coming war with Aizen. This fanfiction will connect with the Gin/Rangiku fanfiction by having April make a cameo appearance in the Gin/Rangiku fanfic much later in the story.
As far as RPG, I've only done egroups RPGing. I did a Kingdom Hearts RPG where we just had a character or two and we sent emails back and forth basically like a tag-team fanfiction type thing. You could control your own character and remark on what other characters were doing during their last post. I've talked to someone in Bleach Asylum about their RPG and I don't get what they mean by a point system. I've never done an RPG that involved a point system. It was all just writing for me. No confusing points or anything. We just had an understanding that we weren't allowed to have god-like powers. We had to have weaknesses and couldn't add powers without having them approved by the leader of the RPG first. It was more about the writing than anything else.
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I think I like your second idea best, and I am glad to see someone will be, for once, kind to Gin. He deserves it and I am beginning to think increasingly that most people don't want him to have it for some bizarre reason, even his fans. Lately I'm even noticing this among my friends. So strange.
Your Kisuke story sounds interesting!
The rpg that I am involved in is the same. I have never heard of this "Bleach Asylum" place but its overly complicated point system sounds like it encompasses a fanbase that is tooooo big for me and too prone to the big-name-fan trolling that I've experienced in other fandoms and am gunshy of ever going near again. I prefer to rp on AIM or at very small high-security message board sites run by personal friends. It is indeed more about the writing in such a case.
Sorry for the comparably short response, I have a migraine and have to do tons of chores for my mother, who has a broken kneecap. Ttyl!
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Exactly. And Aizen used that to his advantage using Gin's natural ability to creep people out and take any suspicion off of himself.
And like you said, his smile was more genuine when he was a kid. I think he was probably more serious when he was living with Rangiku in Rukongai. I think naturally he's more shy. If Aizen hadn't picked him up, I think he would have been the more quiet and powerfully reserved type with a silly/mischievous streak.
And also just like you said I have a strong suspicion Gin was purposely trying to screw with Aizen, but with the added bonus that Gin was trying help others not just Rangiku. I see this best displayed when Toshiro and Rangiku go to Central 46 and Izuru leads them away from Central 46 by Gin's order.
I have a theory that Aizen's original plan was for Gin to order Izuru to lead both Toshiro and Rangiku away from Central 46 long enough for Momo to die and by the time Toshiro and Rangiku return she'd already be gone.
But instead Gin ordered Izuru to lead them away only to warn Toshiro that he needs to look after Momo. Thus, Toshiro separated from Rangiku. He returned to Central 46 so that he got there in time to save Momo. And Gin already knows Rangiku's ability. He'd know that Haineko would easily beat Wabisuke. So facing her off against Izuru wouldn't have harmed her and it would have successfully kept her far away from Aizen. With that order, Gin managed to keep Rangiku safe and save Momo's life.
I think Gin used Aizen's "just as planned" to indirectly save most of the characters who were near death at the end of the Arrancar Arc. I think as an adult Gin is only genuine when he says goodbye to Rangiku during the SS Arc and when he's fighting Ichigo before Ichigo starts training.
I remember when I watched the anime version of that fight. I especially saw it when he stopped the fight with Ichigo. He seemed so tired to me. Like he was so disappointed with Ichigo that he was tired of fighting. Or like he'd lost hope.
And I think, contrary to popular belief, I think he could survive if he returned to the Soul Society later in the series. With the exception of the third seat, most of his killings were done when he was lieutenant of squad 5. So it could be argued that he was simply following orders. Then there's conspiracy and/or accomplice charges. But Gin was also conspiring against Aizen. He successfully infiltrated a highly organized plot against the Soul Society and managed to thwart a lot of its undertakings in the process. Gin also knows the details about Hueco Mundo. I think he would make more of an asset to the Soul Society at this point alive rather than dead.
I also think he made a very effective captain when he was captain. Squad members wouldn't be so loyal to him if he wasn't a fair and effective leader. My brother learned that the hard way when he first became a Staff Sergeant. He wasn't fair and his squad turned on him. But Gin's squad is very loyal to him, so that tells me he was a fair leader and an effective captain. I think when he became captain his first thought must have been "finally freedom from aizen! Well, not total freedom, but I'm captain and I can make the rules at least somewhere. I can be myself in this place." So I see no reason why he shouldn't survive a trial by Central 46. Not only that but eventually return to his captain position. That would take a while of course. It'd be at least a decade long probation period. Maybe hehe
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More delicious insight here. Geh, magnificent! I seriously may print these out for use in my rpg's or fanfictions. I'd be honored if you'd look through my gallery here, because you'll find a lot of my portrayals of Gin are sympathetic to your theories. I enjoy portraying him in private genuine moments when that smile is not present.
I will confess now, my view of Gin was more simplistic until I read this. I thought he was a very good man who had to pretend to be a monster to be Aizen's red herring and to fool Aizen himself into thinking him loyal--and in the process, I thought Gin developed a mentally unbalanced myopia (which his zanpakuto itself, a single endlessly long piercing spear, with one target per strike, exemplifies) to complete his mission on Rangiku's behalf. Thus he was cruel to others but to me it was pardonable because they were what he deemed unfortunately necessary collateral in order to make the world a better place for the woman--the person--he adores. It never occurred to me that Gin was actually trying to help the good guys THAT much. For instance I never thought about Izuru's inconsistent behavior or how that whole incident was Gin's brilliant machinating, but there is no arguing against it. It makes PERFECT sense what you are saying! And it makes me so happy, because I am not a fan of sadism for its own sake, and looking at Gin this way, it shows he is an even better man than I already suspected.
I think my favorite thing about this whole comment is, "And like you said, his smile was more genuine when he was a kid. I think he was probably more serious when he was living with Rangiku in Rukongai. I think naturally he's more shy. If Aizen hadn't picked him up, I think he would have been the more quiet and powerfully reserved type with a silly/mischievous streak." God, I LOVE this. I recently joined an rpg community and there I play Gin, Izuru, and Ukitake (if you are into rpg, I will gladly extend you an invitation there) and since it is post-Aizen-incarceration, I often play Gin toned down, like he is coming off the constant tension of pretending to be a grinning maniac and becoming his Rukongai self again. He has reverted to that state to which you refer. He is quiet, observant, introspective, and generally a little aloof, but the aloofness isn't coldness so much as, yes, a form of shyness. He has indeed made amends with a couple of the shinigami--Ukitake, Urahara (another basically decent person who is a shinigami outcast), Shunsui, and a few others. I get the feeling people perceive my Gin as too soft, but I have always felt this is the appropriate way to play him at this point in his life, and you have made me feel vindicated here.
I also agree with you about Gin's leadership skills. I am not a fan of the (imho fanon) view that Gin was some kind of trickster-punisher who warped all his followers' minds and preyed upon their naturally unkind tendencies to make them overly dependent upon him. I do think that Gin became a leader mostly to further impress Aizen and keep tabs/authority on Rangiku's situation, more than to escape Aizen's total control, but I know from my own frequent leadership roles as an academician and as a community service organizer that fairness, firmness, and consistent treatment of all delegates are the only ways to get people to be unified the way Squad Three was. Bleach filler is a real disease lol, and the whole Amagai arc where he went on to Izuru about how "your last captain was terrible and decentrallized the unity of your squad" was bullshit to me. Izuru is himself the prime example. If Gin hadn't been a great leader who meant a lot to his men, why would Izuru have felt so shocked and betrayed when Gin "defected" to Aizen and "left"? So more proof of what you are saying.
One example in your whole thesis that you missed, by the way, but that I bet you have thought of: When Gin fights Toshiro over Momo--Toshiro, who always annoys me because lol he always flies off the handle with half-cocked theories and fell right into Aizen's plan of "let's use the creepy silver-haired slum kid with no pedigree and a weird smile to throw them off my track"--anyway LOL when he fights Toshiro, he turns to Izuru and tells him to stay back, even though Izuru helping him would have made the battle end much, much faster in his favor. Again, showing him protecting people like a good man.
Oh man, by the way, this: "I remember when I watched the anime version of that fight. I especially saw it when he stopped the fight with Ichigo. He seemed so tired to me. Like he was so disappointed with Ichigo that he was tired of fighting. Or like he'd lost hope." I LOVED THAT PART TOO. I almost cried. YES, I saw his weariness. And I think his provoking Ichigo and saying "you're not even HUMAN anymore" was entirely a way to return Ichigo's will to live. It's in fact a powerful parallel to the scene in which he tormented Rukia on her way to the Sogyouku.
Also: "I think he would make more of an asset to the Soul Society at this point alive rather than dead." I really hope Tite Kubo realizes this, LOL.
I could say more but it would be essentially agreement with you so I will close here.
I now love this character even more than I already did. I wonder what your rpg background is. I would be delighted to roleplay my Gin to any character that you would like to play anytime. I think you would enjoy him.
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lol Yeah. I've argued my points before. Some people just aren't ready to accept that maybe Gin's personality is completely different from the one he's portrayed thus far. And many have a lot of trouble letting go of certain things he's done. My pet peeve, personally, is the argument of the teasing Rukia incident before her execution. I mean really. To condemn someone to lifetime imprisonment/death row because they teased someone? Come on. God forbid he give her the will to live. And she was over that by the end of the episode anyway. I don't understand why people hold that against him so much. I mean I was tortured in high school too. That doesn't mean I want those people to die. But then again, I'm 32 so I don't have that childish name calling, finger pointing mentality anymore.
There is the Hiyori incident, but if she'd fought Aizen there wouldn't be anything left of her to save. And she's not the type to give up without a risky fight to the death, so Gin with his perfect aim almost had to render her completely incapable of continuing the fight to stop her from completely destroying herself.
I've also noticed that when he's smiling his eyebrows are leaning inward with his brow furrowed indicating either strain or anger. So smiling is probably the last thing he wants to do, but he continues to do it to throw people off. He's not enjoying the things he's been ordered to do despite the smile. It's probably strictly a defense mechanism. And I know it's not just the way his eyebrows are drawn for his overall appearance because they're in a different position when he's smiling as he's leaving Rangiku at the end of the SS Arc. When he leaves Rangiku, Gin's eyebrows are drawn up with the back down in more of a sheepish/worried position.
Anyway, I gotta get ready for work. Just had to rant a little since you gave me permission and all.
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Once again all I am going to do is bask in this rant and agree with you completely, LOL so I hope you don't mind
"God forbid he give her the will to live.: <--YES, you know, my friend Karen feels that way. She told me she thinks Gin was actually trying to mess up Aizen's plans there in the only way that he could, by destroying Rukia's reticence. I love that interpretation.
The Hiyori thing doesn't bother me in the least either, because Gin was forced to do it to maintain his cover in front of Aizen. They are two soldiers on opposite sides of a war. What was he expected to do? Honestly, people!
"I've also noticed that when he's smiling his eyebrows are leaning inward with his brow furrowed indicating either strain or anger. So smiling is probably the last thing he wants to do, but he continues to do it to throw people off. He's not enjoying the things he's been ordered to do despite the smile. It's probably strictly a defense mechanism." <--YES!!!! I almost feel like crying. I never thought I'd find another fan who thought these things! I have this elaborate theory about Gin's smile serving as a perfectly cultivated mask over his true intentions, one he crafted into a deliberate gesture after realizing he already naturally did it as a defense mechanism as a child. You notice when he is little he only smiles when there's a reason to be happy--until that first killing as a shinigami in order to impress Aizen and ingratiate himself with him, at which point Gin's smile becomes something defensive and unnatural (again, a mask, when he's unhappy or angry, like you said). To me that says it all. Gin WANTS people to think he's creepy. He WANTS to throw them off his real feelings and intentions. That is a smile that says "don't come too close."
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Well...Guess I just identify with Gin. Most of my family is like him. Actually most of my family and co-workers should probably be in Squad 3. Except for my step-mom's side of the family. They're more like Squad 13, with my step-mom being like Orihime. And my brother (adopted) is like Kenpachi. He's ex marine corps.
But anyway, I know my idea of Gin's character analysis isn't the popular belief among the masses and I don't like to argue with people so I really don't want to start anything. But thank you for the compliment! And keep going with your artwork!
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"Start anything"? o_o I'm confused. I agree with everything you've been saying, and I even think you brought up amazing new points. Am I missing anything? Or are you saying you're afraid someone else is going to break into out conversation and start an argument with you? If you did that, I would SO report their ass.
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Thank you!
Really I think people forget that when he first became a shinigami he was a child, so it made sense for me to see his initial motivation to be childlike. Obviously, as he's gotten older his mentality has changed, but when he first started out I think he just wanted to make her happy. And I think as he got older and started seeing just how bad Aizen really is, helping Rangiku has branched out to helping other people besides her. Of course, he can't let anyone know he's helping so he has to appear as if he's an evil, homicidal bastard while he's administering that tough love with the hope that one day all of Aizen's plotting and evilness would end. And now I'm ranting again. Sorry! Carry on!
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No please! Rant away! I love it
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Very nicely done! *claps* I never for a second have believed that Gin is dead. I don't understand how people can think that. We haven't seen a body or seen him dissipate into nothingness. Therefore, he's still out there somewhere. Nor do I understand why people would think Rangiku or Gin would be with anyone but themselves, but shippers will ship.
But picture and accompanying story is very well done! And to think there are those in this anime's community who aren't mature enough to see the necessary evil of the things he's done. I mean honestly if he'd come forward with Aizen's plan, would anyone have believed him considering Aizen's zanpakuto's hold on everyone?
I've always seen Gin as the genius kid who thought he could graduate from the academy in one year, take care of business before his friend graduated and live happily ever after with his best friend. Only to start his brilliant plan to find out it's not that easy and he bit off more than he could chew. And before he knew it he was caught in a corner with no way out but to bide his time for the perfect opportunity. I honestly believe that due to his tough love tactics he managed to save more lives than most of the other characters in this series. And I think your picture and short story sum that up quite nicely. So good job!
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I have to say I wish I could print out and frame this comment! I couldn't agree more with what you said and the insights included give me a still deeper understanding of Gin! I never thought to look at him from the perspective of someone so COCKSURE that his ambition became more than he could handle, but it actually makes more sense than my original interpretation--that Gin had everything planned out to the most minute detail from the beginning. It makes him even more sympathetic to see him from your perspective. Really, I love that about Gin...it's like...he has the MIND of a genius, but his emotional construct never becomes more complicated than a child's, and it makes his plans, goals, and dreams extraordinarily simple at the same time as they are complex (something like "I love this girl, I want to make her happy and eliminate everything in the way of her happiness, and when I do we will live happily ever after. Tears are bad. Happiness is good. I will make it so she doesn't cry. Then everything will be perfect.") None of this gets rid of what I admire most and yet find most tragic about Gin: Love is a simple, black and white, obsessive thing, to be defended and followed through to the bitter end.
Just love it!
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Regarding what you wrote on your description: Well said!
And I love the expression of Gin here.
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that was awesome, people don't give gin enough credit which he totally deserves! he is my fave character through and through, good job!!
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Mine too--thanks so much ^_^
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I love the emotion in his face; you captured his fury well!
I love Gin, I think it's so sweet that he literally did everything because he loved Rangiku so much...that's real devotion for you! I honestly don't see how anyone can hate Gin; yes, maybe his approach to handling Aizen was wrong but at least he tried. (I'm not saying died trying because I refuse to believe that he is dead! He is such a great character; he can't be gone!) If he is dead, I think that Rangiku will take it hard. From the way I interpret it, they are one of the few pairings that is canon in Bleach. Yes, Gin loved Rangiku and I believe that she returned the feeling.
I don't watch the anime and so I haven't seen the fillers, but are they really doing that to Rangiku? There is so much more to her character than her flirtatious side and her boobs! As for Hisagi...meh. I think that it would take Rangiku a while to move on after Gin. In fact, she might not ever. I think she sees Hisagi as a good friend, but if people want to ship them they can go ahead. just as long as they leave poor Gin alone!
I agree, people do need to relax about pairings. Why can't we all just let people ship who they want without being mean about it?
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