HOME | DD
andpie — Consumption Comic Pages 4, 5 and 6
#laura #trask #vicissitude #bloodform #drweismann #comic #manga #tzimisce #vampire #vampirethemasquerade
Published: 2018-07-26 07:00:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 483; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
Author notes:
Page 4 - More dynamismmmm 
Trask is sassy as fuck. Still no proper backgrounds, but at least I haven't left all of it white. I actually put thought into those lines.
LOL at Trask's face in the last panel tho'.
Page 5 - Trask uses Bloodform to bail from conversations. What a troll.
I could have handled the effects better, but I tried.
Decided to drop the grey marker shading because it looked like garbage IMO.
Page 6 - I need a goddamn T-Square I swear to God.
Ugh. Backgrounds. This page took so long and it still looks shite.
Made an attempt at digital screentones.
Trask is singing to himself both because he is in a good mood and to announce his presence. Although now I feel silly using a specific song. I should have just filled the bubbles with random music notes instead.
Used this stock photo to help with Laura's reaching pose on page 5
Mature Content
Related content
Comments: 10
On those pages, I had a small problem following the plot because they're just talking, then he suddenly disappears in blood and we get to a different scene. It is kinda self-explainatory by what she sais and how the blood is "exploding" when he leaves, but it's hard to follow if the reader isn't 100% informed about all those Vampire-abilities.
On the last page, there suddenly are some screentones, which add a nice depth to the overall look! I think this make the whole scene a little more dark and more fitting.
btw. I as a native-speaking german person find it really funny to see characters like Trask suddenly switching to german, singing german songs etc... xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. Its really very useful to me to hear people's opinions on this thing.
I agree, I definitely could have handled Trask's use of bloodform better. I'll have to plan it out better when he does it in my "main" project. He doesn't appear at all in the first few chapters though, so I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Oh man, I can imagine Trask's dialogue is really cringe-making for people fluent in German! When I asked the Storyteller if I could "adopt" Trask and use him in my comics his answer was "Yes but make sure he stays really camp and really German" and this was my attempt to abide by the ST's wishes. Very silly. I plan on toning it down a bit in future works.
I'm happy that you like the screentones. I keep flip-flopping between using them and not.... I haven't really settled down into a reliable style yet. 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No, no, no, it's not that cringy! He's an ancient vampire, it's normal for him to sing older german songs and I think that makes him even more fascinating to me xD
I love that you included that in his way of talking, too! It might look weird, first, but it's accurate after all!
I remember there was a french gymleader in Pokémon Diamond/Pearl and she had the same type of weird cringy dialogue where everything was made to look more french and weirdly pronounced... and even though it's weird, it's also funny and accurate... and I think it's easier for a reader to imagine him speaking like that when it's written this way
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'm very happy that you don't find his accent too disrespectful.
I was thinking of using the literal translations for German idioms in his dialogue too.
like "to have tomatoes on one’s eyes" for being oblivious or "to talk around the hot porridge" instead of "to beat around the bush"
Would that be really weird?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I don't think that would be weird. I even make jokes like that from time to time.
And a german character in an english-speaking setting could be so used to speaking german for the longest time of his life that he can't get used to the right sayings at all.
btw. especially when I'm telling someone that I'm not that good at english because I'm not a native speaker - I like to exaggerate and say stuff like "My english is not the yellow from the egg" or "my english is under all pig" xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yes yes yes
Thank you for your advice! You're the best
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
What was the time difference between finishing these three pages and the first three? The visual quality has improved drastically between them
Honestly I think every panel here is laid out well, and the background effects add a lot where used. The variety of them on show is impressive too! Background scenery looks decent here too.
That second-to-last panel is the panel to beat. I LOVE how you've laid it out, the German song dividing a pure white scene and a pitch black close-up is striking.
Also, Trask is an Inkling confirmed?
Again, it's vague in a good way here. I thought Laura was drinking blood from the first three pages but now I know it's coffee, and Trask's reaction to this makes me want to know what he's up to. Genuinely excited for the next part!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you so much for your feedback!
I drew all 21 pages in the space of 1 month, so not much time difference at all. Hahaha, I learned a lot really fast. Such a steep learning curve. On the whole, the comic is not very consistent and I'm trying hard to improve on that for my next project.
I read too much manga, so I guess I've absorbed some panel layouts and background effects by osmosis? Knowing what I wanted to do and putting it into practice are two different animals though. No amount of reading could prepare me for this!
What is an inkling?
Trask is a Tzimisce whitewolf.wikia.com/wiki/Tzimi… (link is a bit TLDR) but you don't really need to know that to understand the story. I tried to condense everything the reader actually needs to know down to the info in the character bios page.
On page 5 Trask uses bloodform - a level 5 ability from the Vicissitude discipline whitewolf.wikia.com/wiki/Vicis… but again, you don't really need to know that. Just that he is leaving mid-conversation by becoming liquid (being creepy basically)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
A pleasure as always
That's quite the difference in a short space of time! And there's another 15 pages to go!
At least you're testing the waters to see where you are. Very good idea
Oh yes I know the feeling. The more reference the better in the end though!
Aha, it's the player characters in the game Splatoon. They're kids that turn into Squids and swim through the Ink they shoot with various weapons
Ah ok, haven't heard of that particular species before. The more you know
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Haha it would be really funny if he was a squid
👍: 0 ⏩: 0