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arliddianReasons for the Weekend
Published: 2006-03-30 07:58:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 5271; Favourites: 114; Downloads: 66
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Description Because human nature zig-zagged in reverse
from wand-waving mornings to night,
plucking on harp-strings with bitten-down nails
and mud-trudging through kitchen floors,

Because we ignored the blue neon signs
that smiled Enter through the gates,
and monkeyed up the glass walls instead,
with the grace of a bullet-filled car,

Love grew a shadow, and splashed Friday with ink
when he dived from a springboard of leather and wood--
but the spectators gave him nil out of ten,
though Perfection had wrapped him in white.

Because human nature keeps sliding down driveways
without elbow guards or mothering smiles,
because we attempt to feel more than our skins can,
stuffing ourselves with reflections of stars--

Sunday grew taller, for Love re-emerged
and de-plugged the pool as he skipped up the side.
His tattered grey scarf soaked the last of the flood,
and he left it behind as he walked past the sky.
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Comments: 109

shiroitsuru In reply to ??? [2006-04-05 09:24:12 +0000 UTC]

*kyaa*
I've only seen the edited version, and it looks magnificent to me.
MAESTOSO!
it seems, to me >_>;; I super like this one!!!! I would try and do a drawing for this except the concept is too complicated for me... or well. I wouldn't be able to do anything that does this poem justice
+fave!!!!

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arliddian In reply to shiroitsuru [2006-04-05 11:17:54 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much! And for the !!!! ^^ You roxor. See you tomorrow - bring food/blanket/frisbee/money for lunch if possible

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shiroitsuru In reply to arliddian [2006-04-06 09:17:03 +0000 UTC]

XD np, but for the rest it's a bit late ne!

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opinionatedvamp In reply to ??? [2006-04-01 08:26:56 +0000 UTC]

Wow, that's amazing arliddian! Its definitely "fixed" not that it was broken in the first place. It flows beautifully and it seems more poignant now somehow. Loving the imagery with the perfection in white and the tattered gray scarf mopping up the flood (perhaps of evil or tears) and the skipping up the side adds a youthful and innocent playful quality to it. It's so cool. i'm adding it as a fave...

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arliddian In reply to opinionatedvamp [2006-04-02 07:50:19 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much! And thanks for the , it really means a lot to me. I'm so glad I've made it better Thank you for making me fix it up!

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opinionatedvamp In reply to arliddian [2006-04-02 21:41:10 +0000 UTC]

More than welcome my dear.

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opinionatedvamp [2006-03-31 03:02:31 +0000 UTC]

I really liked it - but the rhythm, I don't know, something just seems, out of time.
I love the fourth stanza
The last though, perhaps rework the part about 'twist of his thumb' - it just doesnt seem to quite fit.
Also, the last line of the third stanza - though perfection was his divine gift or something I don't know.
The second stanza is great though the first's rhythm is missing something again.
But Who am I to know, or say or judge?
It was good and I enjoyed it.

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arliddian In reply to opinionatedvamp [2006-03-31 06:23:50 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for your suggestions - I'll take a look at it and fix up the rhythm. Thanks, I really appreciate the critique!

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