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—~— NIGHTMARE IMAGERY WARNING —~—

“Perhaps the bulletin board is what you need,
Being a knight of the people without the stead.
Just be careful with what jobs you toy,
As a wyngro of your stature they might not employ.”

“Why, thank you, Sammie! That helps a whole bunch!
Before I leave would you care for some lunch?”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to turn down your offer, my friend,
The meal I ate earlier filled me to no end.
But if your schedule tomorrow is free,
Then perhaps a lunch we shall see?” The green biped mused with a strum of his qutar and a smile. As time went on, it was becoming more and more common for Philip to eat away from the Nook. It was just something, anything to distance himself from it all. Of course, he didn’t want to be alone as he ate - even if most days it ended up that way - and he still loved the Nook deep in his heart. The warm and cosy atmosphere. The building itself. Alma-mum... Yet the longer he stayed, the more isolated he felt. The children becoming increasingly too young to relate to as the months passed. The gros actually in his age group leaving one by one. The adults still lumping him in with the youngest of the young purely based on his physique. Stuck in the middle of two worlds yet not belonging in either. And for what? His stupid baby spot that never seemed to want to go away? He was sick of it. It was ok though. At least he wouldn’t be alone again tomorrow, if Sammie held true to his word. Yet... this feeling had only worsened with Clover’s sudden departure. He felt his stomach turning with worry just thinking about it... about the dangers... about... loss... It’s why he had finally confided in Sammie today. He always seemed to have the right words to say. Though he hadn’t told him the full story... just enough to get him to understand.

“Yes, of course! I’ll see you then.
But for now, thank you again!” Philip beamed toward his friend as he ran off in the direction of the Rattle’s Rest. His face falling back into an expression more akin to a worried uncertainty the second he was out of view. Ok, focus on the task at hand. While Wynsiph had two main bulletin boards, not counting the third that lay within the Cranny’s walls, he had heard that the one in the tappery was kept the most up-to-date by comparison. Tappery... Yet another place he’d sooner be kicked out of by the adults than listened to. At least it was still early morning.

—

Philip sat for a good long while mulling over the board for something... anything that would be a good enough distraction from this pain in his chest. Missing pets, missing eggs, missing children... honestly at this rate the board needed more clear and separate columns for missing things, general advertising and jobs... But no. There it all was haphazardly slapped on top of each other. Ugh. Maybe Spa could employ him to just organise this mess! It was dreadful! Leaning against one of the barstools for support, Philip reached up and lifted one of the missing posters. There, underneath. This was it! A simple advertisement from a local farmer, Lasso, asking for more farmhands. Mostly berry picking and general crop harvesting. Xavier had mentioned it once or twice. Maybe it’d be worth a shot. Even if it was manual labour, a paying job sounded wonderful. “Independence, here I come. If you’re ready for me or not!”

Arriving at the farm, Philip had to stop and wipe some sweat off his brow. Maybe running all the way here from the Rattle’s Rest was a bad idea. Especially given how many wrong turnings he’d made along the way. Oh well, he was very quickly able to regain his breath. Plus, Lasso was right over there! Steadying himself, he approached her, tail and head held high and confident.
“Hey, Lasso! Is there anything I can help out with? I saw your poster and my friend works here and I was wondering if I-”
“That’s nice, kiddo. But I’m not about to hire some child to do an adult’s work.” The quad smiled, ruffling his hair tuft before turning her attention back to the crops she was tending to. “Maybe you’d best go back to your school trip, eh? Group’s over there.”
“I’m not-“ he tried to protest, only to be met with a sharp glare.
“Don’t try to get smart with me, kid. Miss Alice can be a real worrywart when she loses a child... though just you-me, I’d reckon it’s Alma filling her head with threats. Either way, she was hot on my tail the last time she ended up having to track a missing ‘ling and it sure ain’t happening again. Now go before I escort you back myself.”
Philip wasn’t fully listening as he looked towards the group of wynglings being shepherded by the teacher. They looked barely old enough to hold a pencil, let alone talk a few full sentences. A slight grumble entered his throat as he trudged towards the group of babies. He was clearly older than that... He would have accepted a simple no but how dare she just assume he was here for the stupid school trip. Alice always took the youngest wynglings on the farm trip anyway! It always went farm, Kalypso’s, Dr. F’s and lastly the forge with the oldest kids! Each with a library trip in-between... Everyone knew that! But noooo... wynglings were wynglings apparently who cares if this one has several years over those ones? Uggghhhhh! Stupid adults. Stupid, stupid, stuuupid adults!!!

“Oh, Philip! What you doing here? Ya wanna help?” Alice practically sang the moment he got close. He merely sighed and shrugged in response. Lasso was convinced into keeping a hawk’s glare on him so he didn’t exactly have a choice. Before he knew it, he was babbling off knowledge that surely everyone knew about the crops growing in this field. Like what season to plant each one. When to water them as not to damage the leaves. Which parts of them are edible to wyngrew. Which ones would harm or even kill pets if they accidentally ate them. Simple baby knowledge... or at least he thought so. With his best friend being a plant creature, it was only right that he were to dedicate hours to researching flora of all kinds.

—

It was only half an hour but it felt like days. The walk back home more excruciating than the lesson as Alice asked him to watch the back of the line for her.

Why did he even bother even looking at the bulletin board in the first place? Felt like he was going to be considered a baby forever at this rate. He was stupid to even dream of getting a job and moving out... stupid to even consider earning enough coin to start to make headway on buying a house or heck, even an empty plot of land so he didn’t have to give up his best friend... Who knew how long it’d take for him to earn enough to get a room with a window when the time ever came at all? Ugh...

Finally getting back into his room, he made his way to the ladder up to his bed. His spirit completely deflated aside from the seething anger in his chest, Philip climbed and flung himself onto the mattress. Soon giving in to his urges as he began to scream into his pillow until his lungs burned. Eventually his screams turned into shakes and shivers... then sobs.

—~—

Eventually he must have drifted off because... He woke up in that room again. That room he hadn’t visited since he was very small. A tiny room, barely enough space to move. Three walls of a ghastly white with a single door. The last wall was no more than a window, floor to ceiling... and just beyond was a second room... one containing everyone he had ever known... coughing and wheezing and screaming for him to help as one by one their eyes began to drip with the rivers of black. Within his claw he held a small crystal... a cure for the illness... yet he couldn’t reach them. The door-handle just barely beyond his reach. So close he could just scrape the bottom of it and yet... he could never pull it. He could never open that door... and eventually it was too late. The rivers flooding the room opposite... wheezes turned to gurgles turned to silence. The room was filled. It was his fault. All his fault. He was too slow. He could have saved them... yet... the crystal shatters in his hand and...

—~—

Philip’s eyes felt heavier than ever that morning, tears pricking at their edges as he haphazardly shook himself free from his bedsheets and trudged down the hall to get his breakfast without even bothering to straighten them up. The usual flood of wynglings stormed past him, yelling and screaming to each other as they broke the rules and ran, he didn’t even flinch as he was bumped around.

He hadn’t slept well that night... his mind too busy focusing on those repressed thoughts of death that were seeping to the surface more and more lately. The rivers of black. The screams. The handle just out barely of his reach. Desperation for nothing. If only he were a little bigger... Standard fare and yet now more than ever it was tormenting him. His worries about Clover melding with them in his mind. Dragging up what he fought so hard to keep buried.

Finally taking his place at the breakfast table, he found barely any appetite to drive him. Allowing the porridge to drop off of his spoon and back into the bowl. Staring at it aimlessly. Eventually, the wynglings around him began to notice.
“If you don’t eat it, it’ll go cold!”
“I know...”
“Alma-mum will be mad if you play with your food.”
“Yeah, yeah...”
“ALMA-MUM! CHASE IS BEING RUDE!”

Philip only just managed a few spoonfuls before excusing himself from the table. He wasn’t hungry. He could still hear it. Still clinging to the depths of his hazy mind like a horrible parasite. Slowly fading away but still present... He knew it would go away once he fully woke up yet... He was fine. He was always fine. He needed to be. He... could hear Alma calling after him as he made his way toward the door.

“Philip, I do hope you aren’t thinking about going outside in weather like this without any form of protection.” It was raining, wasn’t it? He hadn’t noticed it but there was a very apparent grey sky visible through the window as the clouds rolled over the nearby mountains.
“Nah, looks like it’s on its way out but I can chill here a little longer.” He flashed her a lopsided smile, clearly still tired.
“Oh, Philip...” The hatchery mother sighed, crouching down to meet his eyes, “Is there something bothering you? It isn’t Clover, is it?” Philip just looked at the floor, it wasn’t something he wanted to admit but he didn’t want to lie to her.
“She’s a sensible young woman, Philip, you know that. Plenty of wyngrew fly the nest to explore the world, I’m sure she’s fine.”
“I... hope so...”
“I know so. Besides, Alice was telling me about what an excellent job you did teaching her class on the farm trip yesterday! It’s so nice to hear you taking the initiative to help out the little ones.”
“It wasn’t intentional.”
“What?”
“It... it just wasn’t, ok? I... I thought... I did... I just had a stupid idea, that’s all.”
“An idea?”
“To get a job, ok?! To... I don’t know... make some money? Buy my own stuff? It’s stupid. I’m stupid. I-”
“Oh, Philip. You aren’t stupid, sweetheart. I can see how frustrating it must be for you. But... it is just one of those things. Farm-work is hard on even the strongest quads. Lasso shouldn’t have assumed things like that but ultimately I understand that she wouldn’t want to hire someone who is physically a child regardless of their age. A rattle bull could easily kill you, not to mention the legal ramifications for it all...”
“How is that not me being stupid?”
“The idea itself was sound. Help people out, possibly get paid for it. There are plenty of people I know who have done that and it’s worked well for them. It’s just up to you to keep trying to find the right advert on the board.” She hummed with a smile, gently placing her hand on his cheek for a moment before standing back up and turning to walk back into the dining hall. “Well, would you look at that. The rain’s cleared up just like you said it would.” A small laugh accompanied her words as she glanced over her shoulder. “Now you be careful. Don’t pay the rowdy drunks any mind.”
“Heh, I won’t. Come on, Blip, let’s go!”

~~~~~~~

Max Wyns

Wyn Tracker - docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d…

Description

—~— NIGHTMARE IMAGERY WARNING —~—

“Perhaps the bulletin board is what you need,
Being a knight of the people without the stead.
Just be careful with what jobs you toy,
As a wyngro of your stature they might not employ.”

“Why, thank you, Sammie! That helps a whole bunch!
Before I leave would you care for some lunch?”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to turn down your offer, my friend,
The meal I ate earlier filled me to no end.
But if your schedule tomorrow is free,
Then perhaps a lunch we shall see?” The green biped mused with a strum of his qutar and a smile. As time went on, it was becoming more and more common for Philip to eat away from the Nook. It was just something, anything to distance himself from it all. Of course, he didn’t want to be alone as he ate - even if most days it ended up that way - and he still loved the Nook deep in his heart. The warm and cosy atmosphere. The building itself. Alma-mum... Yet the longer he stayed, the more isolated he felt. The children becoming increasingly too young to relate to as the months passed. The gros actually in his age group leaving one by one. The adults still lumping him in with the youngest of the young purely based on his physique. Stuck in the middle of two worlds yet not belonging in either. And for what? His stupid baby spot that never seemed to want to go away? He was sick of it. It was ok though. At least he wouldn’t be alone again tomorrow, if Sammie held true to his word. Yet... this feeling had only worsened with Clover’s sudden departure. He felt his stomach turning with worry just thinking about it... about the dangers... about... loss... It’s why he had finally confided in Sammie today. He always seemed to have the right words to say. Though he hadn’t told him the full story... just enough to get him to understand.

“Yes, of course! I’ll see you then.
But for now, thank you again!” Philip beamed toward his friend as he ran off in the direction of the Rattle’s Rest. His face falling back into an expression more akin to a worried uncertainty the second he was out of view. Ok, focus on the task at hand. While Wynsiph had two main bulletin boards, not counting the third that lay within the Cranny’s walls, he had heard that the one in the tappery was kept the most up-to-date by comparison. Tappery... Yet another place he’d sooner be kicked out of by the adults than listened to. At least it was still early morning.

—

Philip sat for a good long while mulling over the board for something... anything that would be a good enough distraction from this pain in his chest. Missing pets, missing eggs, missing children... honestly at this rate the board needed more clear and separate columns for missing things, general advertising and jobs... But no. There it all was haphazardly slapped on top of each other. Ugh. Maybe Spa could employ him to just organise this mess! It was dreadful! Leaning against one of the barstools for support, Philip reached up and lifted one of the missing posters. There, underneath. This was it! A simple advertisement from a local farmer, Lasso, asking for more farmhands. Mostly berry picking and general crop harvesting. Xavier had mentioned it once or twice. Maybe it’d be worth a shot. Even if it was manual labour, a paying job sounded wonderful. “Independence, here I come. If you’re ready for me or not!”

Arriving at the farm, Philip had to stop and wipe some sweat off his brow. Maybe running all the way here from the Rattle’s Rest was a bad idea. Especially given how many wrong turnings he’d made along the way. Oh well, he was very quickly able to regain his breath. Plus, Lasso was right over there! Steadying himself, he approached her, tail and head held high and confident.
“Hey, Lasso! Is there anything I can help out with? I saw your poster and my friend works here and I was wondering if I-”
“That’s nice, kiddo. But I’m not about to hire some child to do an adult’s work.” The quad smiled, ruffling his hair tuft before turning her attention back to the crops she was tending to. “Maybe you’d best go back to your school trip, eh? Group’s over there.”
“I’m not-“ he tried to protest, only to be met with a sharp glare.
“Don’t try to get smart with me, kid. Miss Alice can be a real worrywart when she loses a child... though just you-me, I’d reckon it’s Alma filling her head with threats. Either way, she was hot on my tail the last time she ended up having to track a missing ‘ling and it sure ain’t happening again. Now go before I escort you back myself.”
Philip wasn’t fully listening as he looked towards the group of wynglings being shepherded by the teacher. They looked barely old enough to hold a pencil, let alone talk a few full sentences. A slight grumble entered his throat as he trudged towards the group of babies. He was clearly older than that... He would have accepted a simple no but how dare she just assume he was here for the stupid school trip. Alice always took the youngest wynglings on the farm trip anyway! It always went farm, Kalypso’s, Dr. F’s and lastly the forge with the oldest kids! Each with a library trip in-between... Everyone knew that! But noooo... wynglings were wynglings apparently who cares if this one has several years over those ones? Uggghhhhh! Stupid adults. Stupid, stupid, stuuupid adults!!!

“Oh, Philip! What you doing here? Ya wanna help?” Alice practically sang the moment he got close. He merely sighed and shrugged in response. Lasso was convinced into keeping a hawk’s glare on him so he didn’t exactly have a choice. Before he knew it, he was babbling off knowledge that surely everyone knew about the crops growing in this field. Like what season to plant each one. When to water them as not to damage the leaves. Which parts of them are edible to wyngrew. Which ones would harm or even kill pets if they accidentally ate them. Simple baby knowledge... or at least he thought so. With his best friend being a plant creature, it was only right that he were to dedicate hours to researching flora of all kinds.

—

It was only half an hour but it felt like days. The walk back home more excruciating than the lesson as Alice asked him to watch the back of the line for her.

Why did he even bother even looking at the bulletin board in the first place? Felt like he was going to be considered a baby forever at this rate. He was stupid to even dream of getting a job and moving out... stupid to even consider earning enough coin to start to make headway on buying a house or heck, even an empty plot of land so he didn’t have to give up his best friend... Who knew how long it’d take for him to earn enough to get a room with a window when the time ever came at all? Ugh...

Finally getting back into his room, he made his way to the ladder up to his bed. His spirit completely deflated aside from the seething anger in his chest, Philip climbed and flung himself onto the mattress. Soon giving in to his urges as he began to scream into his pillow until his lungs burned. Eventually his screams turned into shakes and shivers... then sobs.

—~—

Eventually he must have drifted off because... He woke up in that room again. That room he hadn’t visited since he was very small. A tiny room, barely enough space to move. Three walls of a ghastly white with a single door. The last wall was no more than a window, floor to ceiling... and just beyond was a second room... one containing everyone he had ever known... coughing and wheezing and screaming for him to help as one by one their eyes began to drip with the rivers of black. Within his claw he held a small crystal... a cure for the illness... yet he couldn’t reach them. The door-handle just barely beyond his reach. So close he could just scrape the bottom of it and yet... he could never pull it. He could never open that door... and eventually it was too late. The rivers flooding the room opposite... wheezes turned to gurgles turned to silence. The room was filled. It was his fault. All his fault. He was too slow. He could have saved them... yet... the crystal shatters in his hand and...

—~—

Philip’s eyes felt heavier than ever that morning, tears pricking at their edges as he haphazardly shook himself free from his bedsheets and trudged down the hall to get his breakfast without even bothering to straighten them up. The usual flood of wynglings stormed past him, yelling and screaming to each other as they broke the rules and ran, he didn’t even flinch as he was bumped around.

He hadn’t slept well that night... his mind too busy focusing on those repressed thoughts of death that were seeping to the surface more and more lately. The rivers of black. The screams. The handle just out barely of his reach. Desperation for nothing. If only he were a little bigger... Standard fare and yet now more than ever it was tormenting him. His worries about Clover melding with them in his mind. Dragging up what he fought so hard to keep buried.

Finally taking his place at the breakfast table, he found barely any appetite to drive him. Allowing the porridge to drop off of his spoon and back into the bowl. Staring at it aimlessly. Eventually, the wynglings around him began to notice.
“If you don’t eat it, it’ll go cold!”
“I know...”
“Alma-mum will be mad if you play with your food.”
“Yeah, yeah...”
“ALMA-MUM! CHASE IS BEING RUDE!”

Philip only just managed a few spoonfuls before excusing himself from the table. He wasn’t hungry. He could still hear it. Still clinging to the depths of his hazy mind like a horrible parasite. Slowly fading away but still present... He knew it would go away once he fully woke up yet... He was fine. He was always fine. He needed to be. He... could hear Alma calling after him as he made his way toward the door.

“Philip, I do hope you aren’t thinking about going outside in weather like this without any form of protection.” It was raining, wasn’t it? He hadn’t noticed it but there was a very apparent grey sky visible through the window as the clouds rolled over the nearby mountains.
“Nah, looks like it’s on its way out but I can chill here a little longer.” He flashed her a lopsided smile, clearly still tired.
“Oh, Philip...” The hatchery mother sighed, crouching down to meet his eyes, “Is there something bothering you? It isn’t Clover, is it?” Philip just looked at the floor, it wasn’t something he wanted to admit but he didn’t want to lie to her.
“She’s a sensible young woman, Philip, you know that. Plenty of wyngrew fly the nest to explore the world, I’m sure she’s fine.”
“I... hope so...”
“I know so. Besides, Alice was telling me about what an excellent job you did teaching her class on the farm trip yesterday! It’s so nice to hear you taking the initiative to help out the little ones.”
“It wasn’t intentional.”
“What?”
“It... it just wasn’t, ok? I... I thought... I did... I just had a stupid idea, that’s all.”
“An idea?”
“To get a job, ok?! To... I don’t know... make some money? Buy my own stuff? It’s stupid. I’m stupid. I-”
“Oh, Philip. You aren’t stupid, sweetheart. I can see how frustrating it must be for you. But... it is just one of those things. Farm-work is hard on even the strongest quads. Lasso shouldn’t have assumed things like that but ultimately I understand that she wouldn’t want to hire someone who is physically a child regardless of their age. A rattle bull could easily kill you, not to mention the legal ramifications for it all...”
“How is that not me being stupid?”
“The idea itself was sound. Help people out, possibly get paid for it. There are plenty of people I know who have done that and it’s worked well for them. It’s just up to you to keep trying to find the right advert on the board.” She hummed with a smile, gently placing her hand on his cheek for a moment before standing back up and turning to walk back into the dining hall. “Well, would you look at that. The rain’s cleared up just like you said it would.” A small laugh accompanied her words as she glanced over her shoulder. “Now you be careful. Don’t pay the rowdy drunks any mind.”
“Heh, I won’t. Come on, Blip, let’s go!”

~~~~~~~

Max Wyns

Wyn Tracker - docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d…