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BERRI vs ANNI

CHAPTER 3

Celebrations! (Berri’s back, hooray. [Note: Sarcasm in voice])

Characters: Berri, Conker, Franky, Rodent, Paint brush, Paint Pot, Marvin, Fat Guard,
Thin Guard, Bartender Guy, Mr. Yellow, Mr. Blue, Mr. Green, Mr. Red, Anni.

NOTE: FRANKIE SPELT “F-R-A-N-K-I-E” IS MR. BLUE. FRANKY SPELT “F-R-A-N-K-Y” IS THE PITCHFORK. JUST HELPING YOU SORT IT OUT…… TALKING IN ALL CAPS IS FUN. IT MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL.

* The road to the bar*

Berri: So……. What are we celebrating, & why should I care?

Conker: Okay: The Weasel Mob boss sent you and I on a mission to enter the Feral reserve Bank, kill all of the guards, break open the vault, snag the money, get out, & give him the cash.

Berri: …Sooo, he wanted us to rob a bank?

Conker: Exactly.

Berri: That bastard!

Franky (the pitchfork): You did manage to get there and get the money, but you kinda had a run-in with the mob boss guy, the crazy old floatin' professor, and the evil panther-type king, whose chest burst open. Some big alien thing came out of it, which Conker ended up having to fight.

Berri: He's dead.

Rodent: Conker was the only one who could fight it, because the panther king was dead, the professor got sucked out the airlock when Conker pulled a switch, and the Mob Boss guy just ran off and was never seen again. (Mob boss guy runs past the group, oblivious to them). And you couldn't fight it because that mob boss guy killed ya.

Berri: He is so dead.

Conker: Wait, how’d you guys know about that?

Rodent: *pats Everything-proof suit thingy* shell-cam! It can see anywhere. That’s how we knew to come to the castle after the game locked up.

Berri: Weird.

Paint brush: Heheh, king of a toilet!

Paint pot: That's it!

*Spews light-brown paint out at the paint brush*

Brush: Yeeccchhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Fat Guard sees the brush*

Fat Guard: Hmmmm....

*Takes the brush, goes over to Franky, and paints over where Franky's sticky-tape can be seen.*

Fat Guard: Fresh coat of paint for ya, buddy!

Franky: Hey, thanks!

Fat Guard: Don't mention it… seriously.

Franky: Why not?

Fat Guard:…… Fresh coat of paint for ya, buddy!

Conker: Oh, jeez.

Marvin: What's wrong?

Conker: Those guys. *Points to Bank guards* Don’t worry, I'll deal with 'em. *Pulls out double mini machine gun things and starts firing*

Rodent: Hang on, I'll help ya!

*Rodent hides in his Everything-proof suit, and starts rolling towards the Feral Reserve Bank guards, knocking them over*

Franky: Neat! *CLICK*

Paint Pot: wait a minute… How’d’ya do that with no arms?

Berri: He’s very determined.

Thin Guard: They’re still coming!

(guards keep charging relentlessly)

Marvin: ooh, I know what to do! (turns to writer) Mr Writer guy, you reckon you can write these guys off?

Me: Sure.

(Author guy writes “(All Guards suddenly spontaneously combust)”)

(All Guards suddenly spontaneously combust)

Thin Guard: niiice…

Franky: What were those guys?

Conker: Just more of those guards that Berri & I killed when we were ripping off The Matrix. Those guards were really annoying. Now, let's get to the bar, already!

Berri: Why were they even here?

Author: I included them as a Deus ex Machina to give all of the characters a chance to talk.

(rumbling)

Conker: oh no, you said the forbidden phrase!

Author: What phrase? Deus Ex Machina?

(louder rumbling)

Conker: stop saying that!

*Later, at the bar (rumbling has stopped)*

Bartender: Hi Conker, Berri, Rodent, Franky, Paint brush, Paint Pot, Marvin, Fat guard, Thin guard, Humpty, Dumpty. Say, where are those cog girls?

Conker: Back in the Caribbean.

Bartender: No-one asked you.

Conker: but--

Bartender: Hey there, Berri, I haven't seen you around in awhile!

Berri: Apparently I've been dead.

Bartender (Without laughing): You crack me up.

Rodent: But you weren't laugh--

Bartender: What'll it be, guys?

Random drunkard (to Berri): Hey, there’sh a pole over there wi’ your name on it… blrrg… *is KO’d by Berri. I’ve always wanted to use that expression!*

*Meanwhile, at the Weasel Mob's hideout*

Mr. Yellow (On the phone): Okay. Yes, I know, yes, that’s right, alright, alright, okay, okay, you can shut up now. I said shut up. Shut up! I got it! Goodbye! (Curls finger around telephone wire) No, you hang up first. No, I insist! *CLICK** BEEP* He hung up on me! *Puts down the phone* Hey guys, guess what?

Mr. Green: No.

Mr. Yellow (without laughing): You crack me up.

Mr. Blue: But you weren't laugh--

Mr. Yellow (Ali): You guys finished stitching up Paulie's Body, yet? Because Gregg just said that he'd bring him & the professor guy back to life, just as soon as some donkey disappears.

Mr. Blue (Frankie) & Mr. Green (Chicho): All right!

*About 5 hours later or so, back at the castle*

*Everyone is sleeping in his or her own rooms. Franky, Marvin, Paintpot & Paintbrush are safe in the barn from Chapter 3. The Guards and Rodent are asleep in the Castle's war barracks, Conker is in his high-security bedroom, and Berri is bound and gagged, and currently being dragged out of the castle by Anni and Mr. Red (Paulie). *

Anni (Turning on her blacktooth blueberry telephone headset [patent pending]) Boss, is the professor back, yet?

To be continued.........…Possibly… ok fine, I’ve written the next few chapters, but NO SPOILERS!!! Oh alright, just one… scroll to the bottom.

Keep going…

Almost there…

Here it is:

Banana. HA, SUCKER!

Description
BERRI vs ANNI

CHAPTER 3

Celebrations! (Berri’s back, hooray. [Note: Sarcasm in voice])

Characters: Berri, Conker, Franky, Rodent, Paint brush, Paint Pot, Marvin, Fat Guard,
Thin Guard, Bartender Guy, Mr. Yellow, Mr. Blue, Mr. Green, Mr. Red, Anni.

NOTE: FRANKIE SPELT “F-R-A-N-K-I-E” IS MR. BLUE. FRANKY SPELT “F-R-A-N-K-Y” IS THE PITCHFORK. JUST HELPING YOU SORT IT OUT…… TALKING IN ALL CAPS IS FUN. IT MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL.

* The road to the bar*

Berri: So……. What are we celebrating, & why should I care?

Conker: Okay: The Weasel Mob boss sent you and I on a mission to enter the Feral reserve Bank, kill all of the guards, break open the vault, snag the money, get out, & give him the cash.

Berri: …Sooo, he wanted us to rob a bank?

Conker: Exactly.

Berri: That bastard!

Franky (the pitchfork): You did manage to get there and get the money, but you kinda had a run-in with the mob boss guy, the crazy old floatin' professor, and the evil panther-type king, whose chest burst open. Some big alien thing came out of it, which Conker ended up having to fight.

Berri: He's dead.

Rodent: Conker was the only one who could fight it, because the panther king was dead, the professor got sucked out the airlock when Conker pulled a switch, and the Mob Boss guy just ran off and was never seen again. (Mob boss guy runs past the group, oblivious to them). And you couldn't fight it because that mob boss guy killed ya.

Berri: He is so dead.

Conker: Wait, how’d you guys know about that?

Rodent: *pats Everything-proof suit thingy* shell-cam! It can see anywhere. That’s how we knew to come to the castle after the game locked up.

Berri: Weird.

Paint brush: Heheh, king of a toilet!

Paint pot: That's it!

*Spews light-brown paint out at the paint brush*

Brush: Yeeccchhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Fat Guard sees the brush*

Fat Guard: Hmmmm....

*Takes the brush, goes over to Franky, and paints over where Franky's sticky-tape can be seen.*

Fat Guard: Fresh coat of paint for ya, buddy!

Franky: Hey, thanks!

Fat Guard: Don't mention it… seriously.

Franky: Why not?

Fat Guard:…… Fresh coat of paint for ya, buddy!

Conker: Oh, jeez.

Marvin: What's wrong?

Conker: Those guys. *Points to Bank guards* Don’t worry, I'll deal with 'em. *Pulls out double mini machine gun things and starts firing*

Rodent: Hang on, I'll help ya!

*Rodent hides in his Everything-proof suit, and starts rolling towards the Feral Reserve Bank guards, knocking them over*

Franky: Neat! *CLICK*

Paint Pot: wait a minute… How’d’ya do that with no arms?

Berri: He’s very determined.

Thin Guard: They’re still coming!

(guards keep charging relentlessly)

Marvin: ooh, I know what to do! (turns to writer) Mr Writer guy, you reckon you can write these guys off?

Me: Sure.

(Author guy writes “(All Guards suddenly spontaneously combust)”)

(All Guards suddenly spontaneously combust)

Thin Guard: niiice…

Franky: What were those guys?

Conker: Just more of those guards that Berri & I killed when we were ripping off The Matrix. Those guards were really annoying. Now, let's get to the bar, already!

Berri: Why were they even here?

Author: I included them as a Deus ex Machina to give all of the characters a chance to talk.

(rumbling)

Conker: oh no, you said the forbidden phrase!

Author: What phrase? Deus Ex Machina?

(louder rumbling)

Conker: stop saying that!

*Later, at the bar (rumbling has stopped)*

Bartender: Hi Conker, Berri, Rodent, Franky, Paint brush, Paint Pot, Marvin, Fat guard, Thin guard, Humpty, Dumpty. Say, where are those cog girls?

Conker: Back in the Caribbean.

Bartender: No-one asked you.

Conker: but--

Bartender: Hey there, Berri, I haven't seen you around in awhile!

Berri: Apparently I've been dead.

Bartender (Without laughing): You crack me up.

Rodent: But you weren't laugh--

Bartender: What'll it be, guys?

Random drunkard (to Berri): Hey, there’sh a pole over there wi’ your name on it… blrrg… *is KO’d by Berri. I’ve always wanted to use that expression!*

*Meanwhile, at the Weasel Mob's hideout*

Mr. Yellow (On the phone): Okay. Yes, I know, yes, that’s right, alright, alright, okay, okay, you can shut up now. I said shut up. Shut up! I got it! Goodbye! (Curls finger around telephone wire) No, you hang up first. No, I insist! *CLICK** BEEP* He hung up on me! *Puts down the phone* Hey guys, guess what?

Mr. Green: No.

Mr. Yellow (without laughing): You crack me up.

Mr. Blue: But you weren't laugh--

Mr. Yellow (Ali): You guys finished stitching up Paulie's Body, yet? Because Gregg just said that he'd bring him & the professor guy back to life, just as soon as some donkey disappears.

Mr. Blue (Frankie) & Mr. Green (Chicho): All right!

*About 5 hours later or so, back at the castle*

*Everyone is sleeping in his or her own rooms. Franky, Marvin, Paintpot & Paintbrush are safe in the barn from Chapter 3. The Guards and Rodent are asleep in the Castle's war barracks, Conker is in his high-security bedroom, and Berri is bound and gagged, and currently being dragged out of the castle by Anni and Mr. Red (Paulie). *

Anni (Turning on her blacktooth blueberry telephone headset [patent pending]) Boss, is the professor back, yet?

To be continued.........…Possibly… ok fine, I’ve written the next few chapters, but NO SPOILERS!!! Oh alright, just one… scroll to the bottom.

Keep going…

Almost there…

Here it is:

Banana. HA, SUCKER!