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The world we made…

The clatter of hooves on the brick road was almost comforting as the group traveled through the district towards the Wall. Sun was smiling upon the brave who were gathering at the feet of the gate. Warm wind, such uncommon thing at this time of the year, brushed stray |h/c| locks away from your face. Yet another expedition, and so quickly. You inhaled deeply. Barely two weeks ago the Recon Corps returned from previous expedition, which nearly ended in a fiasco due to the attack of titan-shifters, who obviously didn’t like the idea of humankind taking back the Maria Wall. You narrowed your eyes. It wasn’t a simple fight for survival anymore. Truth was it turned into a war quite some time ago. Way before you even realised it. Or was it always a war? Still, last expedition succeeded, somehow, and, despite the horrific number of casualties, was claimed as another victory. Small one, but victory. And so here you were. Two weeks after. At the same gate. How the commander was able to organize the expedition at such rushed pace, was beyond your understanding. But you surely understood another matter – there was no time to lose.

Your eyes scanned the sides of the road, spotting some familiar faces of soldiers who were unable to participate in today’s mission due to injuries that prevented them from active duty. And you had a thought that maybe… maybe they were lucky today. Hoping eyes of a child met with your |e/c| orbs. Wide smile on the girl’s face as she pointed at something in the crowd of soldiers.

Your horse came to a halt and you shifted your gaze to the gate ahead. Someone, whose voice sounded unfamiliar to your ears, was talking behind you and you turned your head slightly to look at the man. Ah, Jacob, you remembered, it was one of the garrison members who was put under your command for the incoming expedition. Reinforcements, they were.

You narrowed your eyes. If it only weren’t for the people shortage after last expedition. Garrison and Militia weren’t prepared for what was awaiting behind the gate, but Recon Corps had no choice. After all, sixty-two soldiers just wouldn’t do for such mission. They couldn’t allow themselves to wait either, thus help was necessary.

The man sounded nervous but before you could react a female soldier to your left silenced him with a hiss. Such rare occasion when she took initiative. A delicate smile graced your face as you observed how the red-head calmed Jacob’s doubts. She glanced at you and acknowledged you with a sharp nod. You did the same.

…will come undone…

You shivered slightly at the sound of Commander’s hard voice claiming seven more minutes till departure. You held your breath for a second as your eyes bore into the ground. Were you uncertain? It was true. Much depended on this expedition. Were it to end in a failure it would be equal to the end of humanity. You exhaled sharply. Your breath was shaky as your hands curled on the reins. Till now everything, more or less, was going well, then why were you scared all of a sudden? You were so close, just a step away from ending this shitty marathon. You had no choice, you had to reclaim Wall Maria, even if the wall itself was cursed! And yet… thoughts of what could happen twisted your insides. Your horse threw its head up when a sound of hooves echoed in your ears as another soldier passed by you.

  "Just don’t die," he said. Your head shot up but you only saw the back of his head and raven hair flowing gently with the wind when he positioned his horse in front of you. Mikasa and Eren close to his right.

  "Hm. But same goes to you," you answered quietly, as you weren’t sure if what he said was directed at yourself. He glanced through his shoulder and familiar "tch" sound left his lips. It was towards you, how could you doubt him even for a second.

…if I can't feel you here with me.

In my sleep…

A scream filled your ears. Frightened eyes met with your wide ones. A broken blade fell as the hand reached towards you. Paralyzed, you couldn’t move a muscle. You failed. Blood splattered around and after that it was all a blur.

Your head shot up from your folded arms. Breathing heavily, the nightmare quickly faded away from your mind while you were scanning your surroundings slightly confused. Shy sunrays lit the room, so it was a morning. Piles of documents at each side of the desk that you sat at, a file underneath your arms, which, you were guessing, you’ll have to re-write, seeing the condition it was in now. Your eyes moved to the side spotting a wooden bookcase at the wall to your left and a small green carpet in the center of the floor. That... was not your office nor a library. A blanket slid of off your back when you rose to your feet, startled by the sound of opening door. Turning your head towards the intruder your |e/c| eyes met with steel blue.

You remembered now, requiring help with the documents before another expedition, you ventured to the carporal’s office. You were expecting a "no", but Levi agreed to help you with filling the files and get the hang of your new duties as an official squad leader. And you were grateful, because, dear, paperwork was so confusing. And here you were, in his office. A yawn almost escaped your lips.

  "Don’t stand like that and give me a hand," his voice slightly annoyed but calm, as he shoved a tray with breakfast into your hands along with another pile of documents.

…I call your name…

"I-" you started uncertain, "I had a nightmare," you whispered quickly, putting the fork away. Your eyes avoiding him out of embarrassment. Why did you even mention it in the first place? And as you awaited for his reaction you didn’t see his shoulders tense slightly or sharp eyes scanning your face, taking in all the little details. He reached for his teacup.

"So?" his voice uninterested.

  "I don’t think that," you looked up from the plate, "it was a memory. This drea- nightmare, it wasn’t like any of the expeditions from the past. I mean, I saw the usual, dead soldiers, blood, failure, but… it felt so different, almost… new," you explained trying to remember anything specific from the nightmare that woke you up. "Maybe," you laughed nervously, "maybe I am not cut out to be a squad-".

  "Ignore it," Levi cut in sharply. And little you knew how familiar to him was the thing you just spoke of.

  "But-" you started to protest.

  "Stop it, |First|," he hissed. "If you brood over it, you might as well be a titan bait the next expedition," he stood up from the desk. Your eyes wide but focused on his form. "Besides, it was just a shitty nightmare," he continued. Your lips parted slightly. At this point it almost felt like he wasn’t talking just to you, but to himself as well. "Soldiers die, you can only try to ensure that they don’t die for nothing," his tone returned to its usual, almost bored tone. He walked around the desk. You shifted in your seat uncomfortably, rising your head slightly. Steel blue met |e/c|.

  "Levi?"

  "Ignore that shit, you’re worth more than a titan bait, |First|."

  His fingertips brushed the side of your face. Contact so brief that before you actually realised that there was any to begin with, the carporal was already at the door with trays with empty plates in hand.

I need to touch your face.

If I freeze…

Fog in this part of the forest was thick to the point of preventing effective maneuvering, after all you couldn’t use 3DMG if you didn’t even see your own comrades standing a few meters away, not to mention the titans beneath you. You all heard them, but none seen their figures through the fog.

Fucking hell, this looked bad, and was getting worse with each minute. Sliding your blades into their holsters you dug your heel into the branch that you and Linda – the red-headed female from your squad – stood on. You were quietly cursing your luck, and your decision. And how the hell did you get separated from the main expedition!? You were mad at yourself and this only meant trouble. And you already were in deep shit to begin with. Four titans were at your tail, and you couldn’t fight them due to the fog, however the giants seemed unfazed by the lack of visibility. Horses were heavens know where and one of your soldiers was injured already. To make matters worse, you just discovered the malfunction of your own gear while gracelessly crushing into a branch. Good thing that Linda was right beside you.

  "Otto?" you shouted searching for the black mess of his head but seeing no more than the endless white.

  "Here," came the response from above you.

  "Emergency flare," and you could feel eyes of your squad on you.

  "B-but, why?" choked Jacob in between heavy breaths from somewhere to your left.

  "And what if nobody comes to help?" cut in yet another man.

Your head moved towards their voices, despite being unable to see anything other than white you spoke in that direction. "We’ll worry about that if nobody shows up, Kasper," your voice calm, but you were just as scared as the others. "Otto, flare, now," you added with an angry hiss.

  "Y-yes, ma’am!"

  "And as of you, Jacob. If you want to be a titan’s snack, then I don’t really care, you can jump down, we’re already risking by dragging you, injured soldier along. So you’re free to do what you like, but I refuse to die for a foolish reason! We need help if it’s not obvious to you yet! Unless you have some brilliant idea of how to get out alive. We’re practically lost in this dumb forest, you’re wounded, there is no way we can fight those ugly fuckers down there in this fucking fog and my gear just refused to cooperate with me! You have to know when to admit defeat even if you don’t like it, but it doesn’t mean you should throw your life or sit and whine waiting for a miracle!" words just rolled off of your tongue in a bitter manner, anger masking fear, you were tired and despite what you said… maybe you’d have given up already if it weren’t for your team. You owed them for dragging them into this messy situation. You just couldn’t fail them more.

  "Squad leader |First|?" said Linda, while carefully falling closer to you. "What are your orders then?"

  At first the question seemed stupid to the point that you actually snorted when you heard it. But, dear, what would you do without that woman in your team. Her calm and steady voice always got you back on track whenever you lost focus on whatever was important at the time. It was quite ironic though, how Linda Shmidt, being the calm and collected woman she was, with her extraordinary mind and understanding of situation, caring and comforting nature, just never got promoted, despite serving for nearly three years now. And then you remembered that this red-head just refused to give orders no matter the situation.

  The ground… No, the tree shook. A low, frustrated growl came from beneath you. You narrowed your eyes.

  "We’ll move a few trees away," you noticed that the fog started to clear a bit, but still not good enough to take the offensive. “Also, move higher if you can. Linda, I’ll need your help since my gear is fucked up.”

  You saw her nod as sound of wires traveling through air echoed behind you. The tree shook again and Linda lost her footing. You caught her elbow just in time. She nodded her head in thanks and turned to the side reading herself to maneuver to the next tree. You enclosed your arms around her midsection. This was tricky, but you had to move higher and away from this particular tree. Luckily you were actually shorter than Linda so she would still see where she was going.

The flight was rapid and short, and before you knew it you were raising from your knees. Your eyes followed her figure as she swung in the air after dropping you on a fat branch. She made a small turn using another wire as she readied herself to land at the tree few meters away from you. Okay, so far everything was going relatively well…

  A sound similar to a howl echoed through the forest. You covered your ears. And then… silence. The anchor of someone’s gear fell from its original hitch point. Someone whimpered in pain. A scream filled everyone’s ears. Frightened, green eyes of Linda met your widened |e/c| ones. Her broken blade fell to her side, hanging on the cable that connected the trigger to the rest of her gear. Her hand reached towards your form. Your name on her lips. Fat fingers around her body tightened as her form disappeared from your vision. But you were frozen in place. Paralyzed you couldn’t even move a muscle. Your mind blank.

  "Linda!" Kasper’s desperate cry was only a mere reminder of his silhouette blurring before your eyes, when he jumped after the red-headed female. But she was already lost. And so was he…

  "Lin-da…" your voice not even a proper whisper. You fell to your knees, hands limp at your sides as you stared wide-eyed ahead of you. "How…" You failed. "Lin-da… how did," they trusted you and you failed, "it…"

  "Squad leader |First|?" asked a shaken Otto from somewhere to your right.

  "Just how did it…" you ignored him still mumbling to yourself. Tears formed at the corners of your eyes. Linda Shmidt just died a useless death. Kasper Beltomilli threw his life away. What was it all for? Why? You failed. You failed them!

  "Just don’t die," he said. "You’re worth more than a titan bait."

  "…jump…?" you asked no one in particular. Think. You had to do something. Anything. This can’t be your end. You promised to not die today!

  "|First|! What orders? Or I’m coming down to-" Otto’s voice raspy.

  "Don’t!" you cut in before he launched his wires. "It jumped to catch Linda!"

  "What?!" Jacob finally finding the courage to speak but his voice sounded weak.

  "Exactly what you’ve heard! Just stay where you are. It wasn’t jumping until we used the maneuver gear! And shoot black flare!"

  "What for? You don’t think that anyone is still-" Jacob’s voice doubtful.

  "Doesn’t matter! At least they will know to stay the fuck away from here!"

  And with that a black smoke rose to the sky. The fog started to clear slightly and now you could at least evaluate the distance between yourself and your other two squad members. Your eyes darted down, towards the ground. Two titan silhouettes below. Air still the color of white but you could have sworn that one of the giants was staring up at the branches. You inhaled sharply pushing your back against the trunk. You regretted every minute in this cursed forest. You were sure today’s event will add to the long list of nightmare memories… if, no, when you get out of here alive. And that was the objective, you just needed a few minutes to calm yourself down as a stray tear slid down your cheek. Soldiers die, but you always had a chance of survival, no matter how slim.

…you are the flame.

I know…

  His hand slid over the cold sheet and under a pillow. A low growl left his throat. Lack of whatever it was that his hand was searching for forced his eyes to open slightly. He sighed unsatisfied. Did she leave again in the middle of the night? He hissed under his breath as he pushed himself off of the bed. Adjusting his eyes to semi-dark surroundings he wondered what ungodly hour was it. Obviously later than usual, when his gaze fell upon the grayish sky, a shade just before the sunrise. Might as well just start the day. He straightened his trousers and slid on the boots, brushing through his raven hair he threw the shirt from yesterday on the bed. Just as he reached the wardrobe to take out a fresh clothing, doors to his room opened.

  Steel blue orbs took in the slim form before him. He clicked his tongue in amusement. Your |e/c| eyes tore away from his hard gaze and fell upon the tray in your hands with two sets of breakfast. Levi seemed unfazed as he picked a new shirt for the day. You waited quietly. There was nothing wrong with the situation, or so you thought. The two of you were… friends, right?

  He put on his jacket, the harness could wait till after breakfast. Besides, yours was missing too. His hand fell on your head as he gave you a friendly pat while ruffling your hair a little. You glared at him annoyed at the gesture and he ignored it, as usual. Without a word he went passed you and into his office. Heaving a sigh you followed after.

…you’ll always have the best of me.

I will burn…

  "Hanji~! Don’t be so laud! You’ll wake everyone up," you hissed angrily following after the taller woman through the dark campsite.

  "Ow, come on, |First|. You’re no fun! And do you really think that anyone can sleep tonight?" her smile almost creepy.

  "Of course they do. Tomorrow is important, even if it means sleeping in the middle of titan-land, besides-" you folded your arms at your chest.

  "Exactly my point!" she interrupted. "Who would be able to sleep in the middle of nowhere considering the situation and importance of tomorrow?" she squealed happily.

  "And you’re crazy," you said defeated, looking to the ground.

  The sun disappeared from the sky a few hours ago. Not everything went according to the plan today. Arrivial at Shiganshina delayed by a day due to numerous encounters of abbarents and larger groups of titans. Your eyes narrowed as you looked into distance, ignoring words from Hanji. Faces of Linda and Kasper drifted into your mind, you shivered stopping in place.

  "|First|? Hey, |First|? You okay? Why the long face?" her voice serious as she leaned a bit to get to your eye level. She smiled then. "That guy from your squad will live, you know, though without a leg, but hey! That was such an interesting case of an abnormal titan! Incredible creature, shame we had to dispose of it~" she added in a sing-song voice and ignoring the lack of reaction from your end she carried on. "We still don’t know what exactly determinates human’s "permanent" transformation or why some of them are abnormal for that matter. Not to mention the abnormal themselves, each-" but you weren’t listening anymore. Your eyes darkened at the reminder of the jumping titan. Former humans or no, who cares, they still were killing, eating whoever they came across.

  "Shut up, shitty glasses," came a low voice. You didn't even notice his arrival until he spoke. You looked at the man. His arms folded, eyes on you.

  "Levi~" the woman whined making a face at him.

  "Your squad wanted to see you," his words directed at you, as he ignored the noisy scientist. You hung your head. Hanji fell silent noticing your action. She might have acted like the world was one big happy place, but it didn’t mean she was blind.

  "Don’t beat yourself up over what happened," she sighed and placed her hand on your shoulder. "We need you in shape tomorrow!" she added quickly with a wink before running off and waving at someone.

  "Tsk, that woman. But she’s right," his voice quiet as his eyes returned to your figure. A ghost of a smile entered you face.

  "I better check on my team then, or what’s left of it anyway…" guilt lingering in your voice but you didn’t move. Neither did he.

The whole incident earlier in the forest, it could have ended way worse. Or better if you made the right choice. You shouldn’t be thinking of it now. A shiver went down your spine when the chilly wind brushed against your skin.

  "Levi," you looked him in the eyes. He raised a brow but stood still. "Thank you," the words rolled off of your tongue in a whisper as you recalled the words which helped you to get a hold of yourself after Linda’s…

  "Oh?" you piqued his interest but you really didn’t care if it made sense to him. It rarely did in fact. But he still wanted an explanation, of any kind even if it sounded even more confusing.

  "For being there," you started, "with me in the forest…" His eyes narrowed at your form. He demanded more, because he was sure that you’re not insane yet and you both knew he wasn’t there to help your squad. "For believing… making me promise. For…"

  "You’re not making any sense," slightly annoyed look on his face.

  "For keeping me alive!" as much as thanking him initially felt like a good idea, you were truly embarrassed now by inability to explain the reason. You heard him sigh.

  "You kept yourself alive," was his answer.

  "Y-yeah, but…" he ignored you now.

  "And you shall do the same tomorrow. Survive. I’ll see you in the morning," and with that he turned on his heel without giving you another glance. Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes and you forcefully blinked them away. You inhaled sharply when a relieved smile formed on your face.

  "I will. Thank you. Again."

…I will burn for you.

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

The world we made…

The clatter of hooves on the brick road was almost comforting as the group traveled through the district towards the Wall. Sun was smiling upon the brave who were gathering at the feet of the gate. Warm wind, such uncommon thing at this time of the year, brushed stray |h/c| locks away from your face. Yet another expedition, and so quickly. You inhaled deeply. Barely two weeks ago the Recon Corps returned from previous expedition, which nearly ended in a fiasco due to the attack of titan-shifters, who obviously didn’t like the idea of humankind taking back the Maria Wall. You narrowed your eyes. It wasn’t a simple fight for survival anymore. Truth was it turned into a war quite some time ago. Way before you even realised it. Or was it always a war? Still, last expedition succeeded, somehow, and, despite the horrific number of casualties, was claimed as another victory. Small one, but victory. And so here you were. Two weeks after. At the same gate. How the commander was able to organize the expedition at such rushed pace, was beyond your understanding. But you surely understood another matter – there was no time to lose.

Your eyes scanned the sides of the road, spotting some familiar faces of soldiers who were unable to participate in today’s mission due to injuries that prevented them from active duty. And you had a thought that maybe… maybe they were lucky today. Hoping eyes of a child met with your |e/c| orbs. Wide smile on the girl’s face as she pointed at something in the crowd of soldiers.

Your horse came to a halt and you shifted your gaze to the gate ahead. Someone, whose voice sounded unfamiliar to your ears, was talking behind you and you turned your head slightly to look at the man. Ah, Jacob, you remembered, it was one of the garrison members who was put under your command for the incoming expedition. Reinforcements, they were.

You narrowed your eyes. If it only weren’t for the people shortage after last expedition. Garrison and Militia weren’t prepared for what was awaiting behind the gate, but Recon Corps had no choice. After all, sixty-two soldiers just wouldn’t do for such mission. They couldn’t allow themselves to wait either, thus help was necessary.

The man sounded nervous but before you could react a female soldier to your left silenced him with a hiss. Such rare occasion when she took initiative. A delicate smile graced your face as you observed how the red-head calmed Jacob’s doubts. She glanced at you and acknowledged you with a sharp nod. You did the same.

…will come undone…

You shivered slightly at the sound of Commander’s hard voice claiming seven more minutes till departure. You held your breath for a second as your eyes bore into the ground. Were you uncertain? It was true. Much depended on this expedition. Were it to end in a failure it would be equal to the end of humanity. You exhaled sharply. Your breath was shaky as your hands curled on the reins. Till now everything, more or less, was going well, then why were you scared all of a sudden? You were so close, just a step away from ending this shitty marathon. You had no choice, you had to reclaim Wall Maria, even if the wall itself was cursed! And yet… thoughts of what could happen twisted your insides. Your horse threw its head up when a sound of hooves echoed in your ears as another soldier passed by you.

  "Just don’t die," he said. Your head shot up but you only saw the back of his head and raven hair flowing gently with the wind when he positioned his horse in front of you. Mikasa and Eren close to his right.

  "Hm. But same goes to you," you answered quietly, as you weren’t sure if what he said was directed at yourself. He glanced through his shoulder and familiar "tch" sound left his lips. It was towards you, how could you doubt him even for a second.

…if I can't feel you here with me.

In my sleep…

A scream filled your ears. Frightened eyes met with your wide ones. A broken blade fell as the hand reached towards you. Paralyzed, you couldn’t move a muscle. You failed. Blood splattered around and after that it was all a blur.

Your head shot up from your folded arms. Breathing heavily, the nightmare quickly faded away from your mind while you were scanning your surroundings slightly confused. Shy sunrays lit the room, so it was a morning. Piles of documents at each side of the desk that you sat at, a file underneath your arms, which, you were guessing, you’ll have to re-write, seeing the condition it was in now. Your eyes moved to the side spotting a wooden bookcase at the wall to your left and a small green carpet in the center of the floor. That... was not your office nor a library. A blanket slid of off your back when you rose to your feet, startled by the sound of opening door. Turning your head towards the intruder your |e/c| eyes met with steel blue.

You remembered now, requiring help with the documents before another expedition, you ventured to the carporal’s office. You were expecting a "no", but Levi agreed to help you with filling the files and get the hang of your new duties as an official squad leader. And you were grateful, because, dear, paperwork was so confusing. And here you were, in his office. A yawn almost escaped your lips.

  "Don’t stand like that and give me a hand," his voice slightly annoyed but calm, as he shoved a tray with breakfast into your hands along with another pile of documents.

…I call your name…

"I-" you started uncertain, "I had a nightmare," you whispered quickly, putting the fork away. Your eyes avoiding him out of embarrassment. Why did you even mention it in the first place? And as you awaited for his reaction you didn’t see his shoulders tense slightly or sharp eyes scanning your face, taking in all the little details. He reached for his teacup.

"So?" his voice uninterested.

  "I don’t think that," you looked up from the plate, "it was a memory. This drea- nightmare, it wasn’t like any of the expeditions from the past. I mean, I saw the usual, dead soldiers, blood, failure, but… it felt so different, almost… new," you explained trying to remember anything specific from the nightmare that woke you up. "Maybe," you laughed nervously, "maybe I am not cut out to be a squad-".

  "Ignore it," Levi cut in sharply. And little you knew how familiar to him was the thing you just spoke of.

  "But-" you started to protest.

  "Stop it, |First|," he hissed. "If you brood over it, you might as well be a titan bait the next expedition," he stood up from the desk. Your eyes wide but focused on his form. "Besides, it was just a shitty nightmare," he continued. Your lips parted slightly. At this point it almost felt like he wasn’t talking just to you, but to himself as well. "Soldiers die, you can only try to ensure that they don’t die for nothing," his tone returned to its usual, almost bored tone. He walked around the desk. You shifted in your seat uncomfortably, rising your head slightly. Steel blue met |e/c|.

  "Levi?"

  "Ignore that shit, you’re worth more than a titan bait, |First|."

  His fingertips brushed the side of your face. Contact so brief that before you actually realised that there was any to begin with, the carporal was already at the door with trays with empty plates in hand.

I need to touch your face.

If I freeze…

Fog in this part of the forest was thick to the point of preventing effective maneuvering, after all you couldn’t use 3DMG if you didn’t even see your own comrades standing a few meters away, not to mention the titans beneath you. You all heard them, but none seen their figures through the fog.

Fucking hell, this looked bad, and was getting worse with each minute. Sliding your blades into their holsters you dug your heel into the branch that you and Linda – the red-headed female from your squad – stood on. You were quietly cursing your luck, and your decision. And how the hell did you get separated from the main expedition!? You were mad at yourself and this only meant trouble. And you already were in deep shit to begin with. Four titans were at your tail, and you couldn’t fight them due to the fog, however the giants seemed unfazed by the lack of visibility. Horses were heavens know where and one of your soldiers was injured already. To make matters worse, you just discovered the malfunction of your own gear while gracelessly crushing into a branch. Good thing that Linda was right beside you.

  "Otto?" you shouted searching for the black mess of his head but seeing no more than the endless white.

  "Here," came the response from above you.

  "Emergency flare," and you could feel eyes of your squad on you.

  "B-but, why?" choked Jacob in between heavy breaths from somewhere to your left.

  "And what if nobody comes to help?" cut in yet another man.

Your head moved towards their voices, despite being unable to see anything other than white you spoke in that direction. "We’ll worry about that if nobody shows up, Kasper," your voice calm, but you were just as scared as the others. "Otto, flare, now," you added with an angry hiss.

  "Y-yes, ma’am!"

  "And as of you, Jacob. If you want to be a titan’s snack, then I don’t really care, you can jump down, we’re already risking by dragging you, injured soldier along. So you’re free to do what you like, but I refuse to die for a foolish reason! We need help if it’s not obvious to you yet! Unless you have some brilliant idea of how to get out alive. We’re practically lost in this dumb forest, you’re wounded, there is no way we can fight those ugly fuckers down there in this fucking fog and my gear just refused to cooperate with me! You have to know when to admit defeat even if you don’t like it, but it doesn’t mean you should throw your life or sit and whine waiting for a miracle!" words just rolled off of your tongue in a bitter manner, anger masking fear, you were tired and despite what you said… maybe you’d have given up already if it weren’t for your team. You owed them for dragging them into this messy situation. You just couldn’t fail them more.

  "Squad leader |First|?" said Linda, while carefully falling closer to you. "What are your orders then?"

  At first the question seemed stupid to the point that you actually snorted when you heard it. But, dear, what would you do without that woman in your team. Her calm and steady voice always got you back on track whenever you lost focus on whatever was important at the time. It was quite ironic though, how Linda Shmidt, being the calm and collected woman she was, with her extraordinary mind and understanding of situation, caring and comforting nature, just never got promoted, despite serving for nearly three years now. And then you remembered that this red-head just refused to give orders no matter the situation.

  The ground… No, the tree shook. A low, frustrated growl came from beneath you. You narrowed your eyes.

  "We’ll move a few trees away," you noticed that the fog started to clear a bit, but still not good enough to take the offensive. “Also, move higher if you can. Linda, I’ll need your help since my gear is fucked up.”

  You saw her nod as sound of wires traveling through air echoed behind you. The tree shook again and Linda lost her footing. You caught her elbow just in time. She nodded her head in thanks and turned to the side reading herself to maneuver to the next tree. You enclosed your arms around her midsection. This was tricky, but you had to move higher and away from this particular tree. Luckily you were actually shorter than Linda so she would still see where she was going.

The flight was rapid and short, and before you knew it you were raising from your knees. Your eyes followed her figure as she swung in the air after dropping you on a fat branch. She made a small turn using another wire as she readied herself to land at the tree few meters away from you. Okay, so far everything was going relatively well…

  A sound similar to a howl echoed through the forest. You covered your ears. And then… silence. The anchor of someone’s gear fell from its original hitch point. Someone whimpered in pain. A scream filled everyone’s ears. Frightened, green eyes of Linda met your widened |e/c| ones. Her broken blade fell to her side, hanging on the cable that connected the trigger to the rest of her gear. Her hand reached towards your form. Your name on her lips. Fat fingers around her body tightened as her form disappeared from your vision. But you were frozen in place. Paralyzed you couldn’t even move a muscle. Your mind blank.

  "Linda!" Kasper’s desperate cry was only a mere reminder of his silhouette blurring before your eyes, when he jumped after the red-headed female. But she was already lost. And so was he…

  "Lin-da…" your voice not even a proper whisper. You fell to your knees, hands limp at your sides as you stared wide-eyed ahead of you. "How…" You failed. "Lin-da… how did," they trusted you and you failed, "it…"

  "Squad leader |First|?" asked a shaken Otto from somewhere to your right.

  "Just how did it…" you ignored him still mumbling to yourself. Tears formed at the corners of your eyes. Linda Shmidt just died a useless death. Kasper Beltomilli threw his life away. What was it all for? Why? You failed. You failed them!

  "Just don’t die," he said. "You’re worth more than a titan bait."

  "…jump…?" you asked no one in particular. Think. You had to do something. Anything. This can’t be your end. You promised to not die today!

  "|First|! What orders? Or I’m coming down to-" Otto’s voice raspy.

  "Don’t!" you cut in before he launched his wires. "It jumped to catch Linda!"

  "What?!" Jacob finally finding the courage to speak but his voice sounded weak.

  "Exactly what you’ve heard! Just stay where you are. It wasn’t jumping until we used the maneuver gear! And shoot black flare!"

  "What for? You don’t think that anyone is still-" Jacob’s voice doubtful.

  "Doesn’t matter! At least they will know to stay the fuck away from here!"

  And with that a black smoke rose to the sky. The fog started to clear slightly and now you could at least evaluate the distance between yourself and your other two squad members. Your eyes darted down, towards the ground. Two titan silhouettes below. Air still the color of white but you could have sworn that one of the giants was staring up at the branches. You inhaled sharply pushing your back against the trunk. You regretted every minute in this cursed forest. You were sure today’s event will add to the long list of nightmare memories… if, no, when you get out of here alive. And that was the objective, you just needed a few minutes to calm yourself down as a stray tear slid down your cheek. Soldiers die, but you always had a chance of survival, no matter how slim.

…you are the flame.

I know…

  His hand slid over the cold sheet and under a pillow. A low growl left his throat. Lack of whatever it was that his hand was searching for forced his eyes to open slightly. He sighed unsatisfied. Did she leave again in the middle of the night? He hissed under his breath as he pushed himself off of the bed. Adjusting his eyes to semi-dark surroundings he wondered what ungodly hour was it. Obviously later than usual, when his gaze fell upon the grayish sky, a shade just before the sunrise. Might as well just start the day. He straightened his trousers and slid on the boots, brushing through his raven hair he threw the shirt from yesterday on the bed. Just as he reached the wardrobe to take out a fresh clothing, doors to his room opened.

  Steel blue orbs took in the slim form before him. He clicked his tongue in amusement. Your |e/c| eyes tore away from his hard gaze and fell upon the tray in your hands with two sets of breakfast. Levi seemed unfazed as he picked a new shirt for the day. You waited quietly. There was nothing wrong with the situation, or so you thought. The two of you were… friends, right?

  He put on his jacket, the harness could wait till after breakfast. Besides, yours was missing too. His hand fell on your head as he gave you a friendly pat while ruffling your hair a little. You glared at him annoyed at the gesture and he ignored it, as usual. Without a word he went passed you and into his office. Heaving a sigh you followed after.

…you’ll always have the best of me.

I will burn…

  "Hanji~! Don’t be so laud! You’ll wake everyone up," you hissed angrily following after the taller woman through the dark campsite.

  "Ow, come on, |First|. You’re no fun! And do you really think that anyone can sleep tonight?" her smile almost creepy.

  "Of course they do. Tomorrow is important, even if it means sleeping in the middle of titan-land, besides-" you folded your arms at your chest.

  "Exactly my point!" she interrupted. "Who would be able to sleep in the middle of nowhere considering the situation and importance of tomorrow?" she squealed happily.

  "And you’re crazy," you said defeated, looking to the ground.

  The sun disappeared from the sky a few hours ago. Not everything went according to the plan today. Arrivial at Shiganshina delayed by a day due to numerous encounters of abbarents and larger groups of titans. Your eyes narrowed as you looked into distance, ignoring words from Hanji. Faces of Linda and Kasper drifted into your mind, you shivered stopping in place.

  "|First|? Hey, |First|? You okay? Why the long face?" her voice serious as she leaned a bit to get to your eye level. She smiled then. "That guy from your squad will live, you know, though without a leg, but hey! That was such an interesting case of an abnormal titan! Incredible creature, shame we had to dispose of it~" she added in a sing-song voice and ignoring the lack of reaction from your end she carried on. "We still don’t know what exactly determinates human’s "permanent" transformation or why some of them are abnormal for that matter. Not to mention the abnormal themselves, each-" but you weren’t listening anymore. Your eyes darkened at the reminder of the jumping titan. Former humans or no, who cares, they still were killing, eating whoever they came across.

  "Shut up, shitty glasses," came a low voice. You didn't even notice his arrival until he spoke. You looked at the man. His arms folded, eyes on you.

  "Levi~" the woman whined making a face at him.

  "Your squad wanted to see you," his words directed at you, as he ignored the noisy scientist. You hung your head. Hanji fell silent noticing your action. She might have acted like the world was one big happy place, but it didn’t mean she was blind.

  "Don’t beat yourself up over what happened," she sighed and placed her hand on your shoulder. "We need you in shape tomorrow!" she added quickly with a wink before running off and waving at someone.

  "Tsk, that woman. But she’s right," his voice quiet as his eyes returned to your figure. A ghost of a smile entered you face.

  "I better check on my team then, or what’s left of it anyway…" guilt lingering in your voice but you didn’t move. Neither did he.

The whole incident earlier in the forest, it could have ended way worse. Or better if you made the right choice. You shouldn’t be thinking of it now. A shiver went down your spine when the chilly wind brushed against your skin.

  "Levi," you looked him in the eyes. He raised a brow but stood still. "Thank you," the words rolled off of your tongue in a whisper as you recalled the words which helped you to get a hold of yourself after Linda’s…

  "Oh?" you piqued his interest but you really didn’t care if it made sense to him. It rarely did in fact. But he still wanted an explanation, of any kind even if it sounded even more confusing.

  "For being there," you started, "with me in the forest…" His eyes narrowed at your form. He demanded more, because he was sure that you’re not insane yet and you both knew he wasn’t there to help your squad. "For believing… making me promise. For…"

  "You’re not making any sense," slightly annoyed look on his face.

  "For keeping me alive!" as much as thanking him initially felt like a good idea, you were truly embarrassed now by inability to explain the reason. You heard him sigh.

  "You kept yourself alive," was his answer.

  "Y-yeah, but…" he ignored you now.

  "And you shall do the same tomorrow. Survive. I’ll see you in the morning," and with that he turned on his heel without giving you another glance. Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes and you forcefully blinked them away. You inhaled sharply when a relieved smile formed on your face.

  "I will. Thank you. Again."

…I will burn for you.