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Published: 2014-12-28 18:20:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 681; Favourites: 26; Downloads: 0
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Description
A bitter taste in my mouth, I walked down to the town square. The sky was moving sideways, racing cloud shadows across the ground. Everything was so damned green, fresh, new. I sat on a bench in front of the clock tower and waited. A tank slowly moved down Main Street, firing randomly at the old buildings. Speakers were playing ‘Abaddon’s Bolero’ at full volume. I decided that the bitterness I tasted was copper. Everything seemed to move so slowly under the swift-moving skies. Still, I waited. I waited all day for your ghost to arrive, but you never came. I’d wanted so badly to recapture that old memory. A sickly, small King Kong climbed up the clock tower. Still tasting copper, I went home to our old empty apartment on Church Street. Nothing interesting happens without you here with me. Maybe you’ll come tomorrow.Related content
Comments: 32
brassteeth [2015-02-04 10:00:29 +0000 UTC]
Such good writing again. (Sorry I am just catching up on all of your work. Its taking me some time but oh hell its worth it! A rich form you are in. Something about these works is perfectly balanced in its melancholic realism.
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Bark In reply to brassteeth [2015-02-04 13:06:31 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much. I've actually been in a horrible slump lately, but maybe I'm easing out now.
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LiliWrites [2014-12-31 07:47:16 +0000 UTC]
"I decided the bitterness I tasted was copper." So much unstated, but well told, in that line. I very much enjoyed this snippet.
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RamsEyeSupply [2014-12-30 23:01:42 +0000 UTC]
I like the melancholic tone here. The atmosphere is spot on. "Nothing interesting happens without you here..." I know that feel.
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Bark In reply to RamsEyeSupply [2014-12-31 00:29:34 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much, I'm glad that I got that across. (Although sorry that you know that feeling...)
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robwahl [2014-12-30 01:12:30 +0000 UTC]
Getting there and not finding what one expects is then better to dream of tomorrows until that time.
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EricAfterDark [2014-12-29 16:19:01 +0000 UTC]
This broke my heart. Which is why I favorited it. Mentally, I think I've been in this scenario. I don't know if the tank or King Kong is meant to be real or imagined. However, I took it as the struggle in the characters head projected onto the world. Awesome work.
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Bark In reply to EricAfterDark [2014-12-29 19:16:35 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much. I think you've got it.
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jennystokes [2014-12-29 02:56:45 +0000 UTC]
Love the slowness against the 'swift-moving sky.'
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jennystokes In reply to Bark [2014-12-29 04:37:39 +0000 UTC]
Pleasure...............I am waiting for an 'update' on your Health????
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Bark In reply to jennystokes [2014-12-29 10:17:29 +0000 UTC]
Everything's still okay so far... pain under control. Going for chemo again on the fifth. Still losing weight, though. Down to 124 lbs today. Yow!
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jennystokes In reply to Bark [2014-12-30 03:53:23 +0000 UTC]
New clothes????????
SO glad to hear you are feeling OK
Not losing hair?
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Bark In reply to jennystokes [2014-12-30 06:33:49 +0000 UTC]
No hair loss yet. Hopefully some new clothes soon!
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LindArtz [2014-12-28 23:53:56 +0000 UTC]
This left me feeling completely.....empty....From start to finish.
But I guess,...that is what you were trying to convey?
Well done, in any case. It made an impression upon me.
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Bark In reply to LindArtz [2014-12-29 00:00:17 +0000 UTC]
Yes, you caught the mood exactly. The emptiness I've felt for almost six years now, since my wife died. It's a recurring theme in much of my work.
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LindArtz In reply to Bark [2014-12-29 16:40:04 +0000 UTC]
Aww Well you conveyed it well.
For what it's worth,...the saying goes.....It takes at least the same amount of time a couple has been together for one to get over their loss; be it through a death, or a divorce. So hang in there.
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alapip [2014-12-28 23:48:58 +0000 UTC]
certain sensory inputs can cause a coppery taste.
with me it's a constricted vocal sound made by
particular people in speech or song:
- Johnny Menzies sometimes when speaking
- Alison Goldfrapp on occasion in singing
[as if i was sucking on a penny]
perhaps the copper-ness can work in reverse,
resulting in varied sounds and images?
the inventions of one's senses make for interesting
reading and consideration, Ron. pip
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Bark In reply to alapip [2014-12-28 23:57:26 +0000 UTC]
Thank you. I really don't know where the copper came from, it just appeared on the page. At least to my conscious mind, it seemed to come out of nowhere. Maybe something lodged in the subconscious?
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alapip In reply to Bark [2014-12-29 00:02:26 +0000 UTC]
that's where all surprises arise from...
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