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Bark — Daddy's Gone
Published: 2014-11-20 18:47:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 1047; Favourites: 33; Downloads: 0
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Description
Summer
Ice cream, pavement
Melting dreams down the grille
Blue eyes crying, a hug from Mom
Better
But still leaving a sense of loss
No kind words can comfort
Nor ease the pain
Lost love
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Comments: 35
This amazing work is featured here: Happy Thanksgiving!
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SO glad to see you trying this form. You did great! A wonderful blend of childhood emotions in just a few words.
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Thank you very much! It's my first attempt at this form.
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Yeah, it's sad that too many children's most vivid memory will be of when a parent leaves.
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Thanks, Richard. I'd never heard of this form until today.
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I've come across it before and remembered the name but couldn't actually have told you what it was.
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"butterfly cinquain" - i'd never heard of such a form,
but it appears you accomplished it, Ron, very well.
i see the butterfly, and heard the sad message.
any news? - pip
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Thanks, Pip. Yeah, better news than expected, although I'll have to do chemo. Oh well, most of my hair is already gone...
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well, that's sorta good. a new adventure?
is your head as nicely shaped as Walter White's?
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No, it's all out of shape... bulbous and warped.
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Well, I'm old enough not to worry too much about my looks anyway. I'm not out chasing the ladies anymore...
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Now this is why I stick with actual instead of metaphorical ice cream and eat it really quick. In summer, of course; I'd freeze in winter if I did that.
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You think it's bad? I hate writing in fixed form of any kind.
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huh? I was talking about the emotional trauma, the metaphorical ice cream.
I dislike fixed forms also; they interfere with where the words and rhythms want to go.
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