HOME | DD
Bark — Sleep
Published: 2015-02-23 12:18:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 129; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
Slip between cool sheets and into oblivionSweet waves of nothing take you away
Dreams, those wonderful things
Settle softly into your consciousness
Float away on the rhythms of the night
Soft algorithms, pause, redeem, cash-in
Sift and shift, on with the night’s soul
Dark wine flowing we turn, and turn, and turn
Speak the language of darkest night
And cool-aired heights to take us away
Until tomorrow we arise,
And drink again of the day
Related content
Comments: 10
It's got poetic possibilities; something about the rhythm of the words doesn't maximise those yet. It needs a stronger flow.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I agree... I couldn't put my finger on it, but something just wasn't right. I'll keep trying.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah, I can't pin it down any further, but it's got something that will come out with the right rewrite.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Arghhh! I've gone back to it several times today, can't get anything going. Maybe tomorrow... i have to remember my new motto...never give up!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yes, something new for me... a hopeful ending.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2