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Published: 2014-12-16 19:42:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 558; Favourites: 24; Downloads: 0
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Uncle Charlies got the rots again, down with the disease again. They may have to take the other leg this time, at least the foot. He just lays there in bed most of the time, staring out at something only he sees. Grandma Carol tries not to cry when she goes in to tend to him, but he must hear her all the way from the kitchen as she sits there crying over the potatoes. Slice, slice, slice; a little more gone each time. I sit on the porch and think how we all die like that; piece by piece as the good things turn rancid and are cut away. I wonder if Uncle Charlie sees Aunt Martha, seven years gone now. I kind of bet he does.Related content
Comments: 21
jennystokes [2014-12-17 12:03:08 +0000 UTC]
Yes he does see Aunt Martha.
Fun isn't it being chipped away at!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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metamage [2014-12-16 23:46:38 +0000 UTC]
I agree with Lapip - your language in this is really arresting. It has a poetic resonance that's tough to pull off. Very clean; somewhat fearsome - dangerous, in a way. Pretty damned cool. It would be really interesting to watch you develop this further.
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metamage [2014-12-16 23:36:04 +0000 UTC]
WONDERFUL. I have hundreds. Happy to share. Actually, it's really helpful to me because it gives me a boost to do one, too. I was a part of an excellent weekly flash contest group for years and I really miss the friendly competition!
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robwahl In reply to Bark [2014-12-16 23:45:26 +0000 UTC]
Most welcome, Ron.
I've been racking my matter for a childhood fear...so far I can only thing of one thing... my dad hahaha.
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alapip [2014-12-16 21:08:53 +0000 UTC]
"...crying over the potatoes. Slice, slice, slice; a little more gone each time."
i don't know what this 'device' is called, Ron, but you sure do it well.
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Bark In reply to alapip [2014-12-16 21:33:28 +0000 UTC]
Thanks, Pip. I'm not aware of any device other than writing from the heart.
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Bark In reply to metamage [2014-12-16 21:32:38 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the prompt, going to go through them all eventually I hope.
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