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Published: 2014-09-07 07:22:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 475; Favourites: 23; Downloads: 0
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Description
Look here, Wonderbread, this ain’t no muh-fuckin’ shoe sale. This is gun-in-your-face-pop-a-cap-in-your-ass for real. These people been in my head too long, they all be talkin’ at the same time. Ripsnark is the loudest, yellin’ above all the others just that one word, over and over… “Kill! Kill! Kill!I don’t know how much more I can stand it. It’s too damn crowded in here, too close, sweat drips from one to the other. Some don’t even speak English. They just be jabberin’ away like I know what they want. One even talks like you, Wonderbread, all proper and pronunciated. Maybe he is you. He tries to keep it all together, keep the riff-raff in check. They stopped listening to him, though, and I’m scared, man.
I dreamt last night I was out in the ocean, so far I couldn’t see land. It was scary, but kinda nice for a while. So quiet and peaceful… Then I was back in the apartment, and I felt like a volcano about to blow. That’s when I called you. So can you fix me, Wonderbread? Gimme some pills, or shots, somthin’ to kill the rats runnin’ ‘round my head? If you can’t, you know you’ll be the first to go. And don’t be callin’ no po-lice. We’ll both be gone before they get here.
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Comments: 43
TheLaughingDreamer [2014-09-28 16:37:35 +0000 UTC]
I could read this fifty times in fifty different voices and accents and never get tired XD So awesome!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bark In reply to TheLaughingDreamer [2014-09-30 08:01:04 +0000 UTC]
Hahahaha, thanks very much!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
prettyflour [2014-09-13 00:06:25 +0000 UTC]
This has been featured in my journal!
A journey through my favorites. III had such fun with this last time!
My most recent favorite:
My most recent deviation:
My oldest favorite:
The last deviation on page 4 of my favorites:
Latest Literature favorites:
The 10th deviation on page 100 of my favorites.
The first and last deviation on page 52 of my favorites:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CalleighBlack [2014-09-12 17:14:22 +0000 UTC]
Am I the only one hearing Sam Jackson? Just askin.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bark In reply to CalleighBlack [2014-09-13 10:16:34 +0000 UTC]
Hahaha... reminds me of the old Dave Chappelle skit... buy Samuel Jackson beer. It'll get you drunk!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Shyll-j [2014-09-11 21:42:07 +0000 UTC]
I think you write your best when it just flows out of you, like you're talking....and this is one of those times. AND perhaps it's been done, but what hasn't? Really, considering the printing press and the multiplying population, it's difficult to put a fresh spin on stories. And yet---as with every face, your voice is uniquely you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
prettyflour [2014-09-08 22:19:31 +0000 UTC]
Ooohhhh, I like this. It kinda reminds me of Richard Kadrey's Sandman Slim. Have you read any of those books?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bark In reply to prettyflour [2014-09-08 23:45:32 +0000 UTC]
Thank you. No, i haven't, but it really sounds interesting.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
prettyflour In reply to Bark [2014-09-09 20:24:23 +0000 UTC]
Dark snarky humor, bad language and violence. I'm currently reading the 5th book in the series. They're entertaining.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
brassteeth [2014-09-08 08:36:06 +0000 UTC]
um...I feel disturbed, which probably means i bought into the character(s)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
anairbxbriana [2014-09-07 22:32:44 +0000 UTC]
Hey is this about a Schizo? I so read it that way. With narrator talking about the voices in his or her head. (( It's a brilliant. ))
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bark In reply to anairbxbriana [2014-09-07 23:03:04 +0000 UTC]
Thanks very much! Yes, you read it the way I intended.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
anairbxbriana In reply to Bark [2014-09-07 23:16:40 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome. It was really good. Interestingly, I was reading up about schizophrenia and came across your story and I was soo excited because I know what it was about. Great job. It definitely put me in the shoes or in the mind of what its like be a schizophrenia.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Magnius159 [2014-09-07 19:15:40 +0000 UTC]
Interesting character sketch. Love the voice. I think maybe yes, it may be cliche, but that doesn't mean it's not entertaining to read
Have you read this study about auditory hallucinations? news.stanford.edu/news/2014/ju…
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bark In reply to Magnius159 [2014-09-07 23:05:19 +0000 UTC]
Thank you. No, I haven't read the study yet. I'll have to wait until my connection is better to check your link. God, i miss cable...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Magnius159 In reply to Bark [2014-09-08 00:35:20 +0000 UTC]
It's an interesting study, but I have issue with the sample size. No scientist though so
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
jennystokes In reply to Bark [2014-09-07 18:34:09 +0000 UTC]
Barky.....................NOT necessary for thanks.
Love you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
alapip [2014-09-07 15:08:02 +0000 UTC]
what it may be like inside
the schizophrenic mind -
you have a scary imagination,
Ron...
Ron? i'm over here.
[actually quite convincing]
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bark In reply to alapip [2014-09-07 15:33:41 +0000 UTC]
Thanks, pip, I was afraid it might be too cliched. (I see you there in the middle of the crowd...)
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
LancelotPrice [2014-09-07 11:27:33 +0000 UTC]
Those damned RaffRiff [<>], they are a pain in thy behind and they are clogging up the way ahead, too.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
LancelotPrice In reply to Bark [2014-09-07 21:12:33 +0000 UTC]
Even if it were, cliché is a perfectly valid writing tool.
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