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BCRich40 — Improving Skills - Part 17
Published: 2012-12-07 14:17:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 48146; Favourites: 387; Downloads: 621
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I got a lot to say about this part. I don't even know where to began.I'm a bit disappointed. I waited so long this part, but it turned out worse than I wanted. Some of the panels look fine, and some of them look horrible! I had serious problems with Dash's expressions. I just didn't get them right, until it was too late. I have too much to say!
At least I learned something. A lot actually, and that's the point of the whole series! I know what I'm doing wrong, and I know how to make things better. There's a few things that I don't get yet, but I just need more time to learn... So you don't need to point out visually "wrong" things. I'm aware of them already.
There's always something you could point out though...
There's probably a tons of grammar mistakes, so please point them out. I'll fix them soon as possible. I ask you to send corrections in note form for me, so there won't be a huge wall of text in comment section. You can point out small things like typos in comments though. And please, remember to tell me why the sentences are wrong. It helps me to improve my English skills.
Enjoy!
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Comments: 168
Great job on the comic. However, I did notice one thing wrong with the grammar: In panel two, when Twilight says, "I teleported all the way to that big tree, and it weared out just about all of my strength," the word "weared" should instead be "wore."
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You noticed only one thing? I'm pretty sure there's way more of them, but thanks! I'll upload the fixed version soon.
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dat wing boner, dash control yourself!
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Panel 7 : Rainbow : "I'm a professional when it comes to mouth-to-mouth technique." If you're referring to what I think you are, then we have a nice abbreviation called "CPR" which stands for CardioPulmonary resuscitation, and is what is used to bring people back to life / make sure they don't die after drowning. Most people are familiar with the word CPR, but not its abbreviation. You could replace "mouth-to-mouth technique" with "CPR" and it'll sound like this;
"I'm a professional when it comes to CPR." (Note: CPR is almost always left in caps, and it isn't yelling)
Might I say, your ponies are looking... like ponies! Woo! (I am so tired right now...)
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I'm aware of that, but I think that mouth-to-mouth works better. It's somehow easier to understand. I'll change it, if there will be a huge fight about it.
My ponies are looking... Eh... I'll write a journal entry about that! Let's just say that I'm not too happy with the way they look in some panels.
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oops, I meant Most people are familiar with the word CPR, but not what it stands for.
I am a sleepy pony.
Zzzz
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I think mouth-to-mouth works better. I wouldn't have understood if she would have said CPR.
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I guess I paid too much attention at that first aid course.
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Hehe. Probably not.
It's just that I'm Swedish. It's not called CPR here.
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That was hilarious. Keep them coming! Who knows maybe we could have a special guest star from the great and powerful
Trixie!
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Ahahaha it's funny because Rainbow Dash isn't made out to be the Lesbian. No wait she is. I'll ignore that. Could start for a comic. The pony styling is quit interesting. I didn't like some of RD's expressions though. Sorry. But well done on the story and multiple angles and focal point and panning, It was very well done. I have tried to make comics but I try to paint my ponies for to complex and then it is near impossible to recreate. I enjoyed the story and the dialogue. Good job.
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