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BIGDOGDAVIDSON — Dead Ends and broken dreams
Published: 2010-10-11 22:36:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 489; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 35
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Miami AZ The only thing beyond this sign is burned out houses and broken toys from children who had better places to be.Related content
Comments: 49
Creepy too but you know thats the fun part for most of us!
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This really is a convincing sign. Dead end. It looks dead.
In fact I would like to see those burnt houses and broken toys. But at the same time make it back alive.
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It's a feeling of dread and haunting unwantedness that fills you when your on the top of this hill. Like the eyes are upon you watching, waiting for you to come closer. I am not really too in touch with my spiritual side but i can tell you that this was unmistakable. I knew bad things were up there.
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Or at least had been up there and attract bad things up there.
It's like The Hills Have Eyes or a movie like that.
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Yes Exactly like that, like you dont know who or what was there but you just knew it wasnt on your side.
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I feel bad to keep talking about this, but I feel very uncomfortable being pregnant and being single. Then getting an abortion and being single also sucks.
I go to school during the week and basically I dont see my boyfriend or my friends. I live on this hill and that separates me alot.
I text him random stupid stuff and sometimes he responds. He is not very affectionate nor does he seem interested in the fact that I am pregnant and taking the bus at 11pm.
I have been thinking about him and how he does things. He is not a bad person but I need more or something different. I told him I still wanted to chill but as friends. I am trying to remove my frustration and stop complaining to him. I keep hoping he will change. He doesnt. Yeah, he is loyal, not a drug addict, not abusive, family oriented, but he is still kinda lazy, immature, and not affectionate enough for me. I hope I didnt do this because I am all emotional and knocked up.
Any way I got 4 Llama badges out of no where. That was interesting...
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Hey seriously, i was with a girl for 4 years because on paper she did and acted like the girl i should be with, Occasional drinker, Somewhat wild in bed when pressed, Interested in talking to me, Social and she thought she loved me. But the "reality" of it was, She was Mothering me, she ONLY wanted to hang out with her friends, she cared nothing for my hobbies or artistic talents (which since i'm an artist that's a big thing) and she used age difference against me all the time, (8 years older than i), she didnt appreciate my drive to do better in life, and worse, she didnt share it.
She and i worked on paper but in the end, it wasnt because she was mean or a bitch or psycho or cheating... it was because we just didnt connect. We couldn't make those last few sacrifices for each other, she always said she loved 95% of everything about me. Well the last 5% happened to be the most important to me. Things i wasnt capable of budging on, and neither was she. and realizing my limits as a person (the hardest thing i EVER had to do) i had to concede that this was no longer the relationship i was meant for.
It was hard to swallow my pride and say you know, while this is not a failure, we have to end this... and I did. She was NOT happy about it, but it was the best thing i ever did, not just for me but for her as well. She never would have been happy with me and i would have resented her for not accepting me for who i truly am.
There are people in this world who are great, truly awesome. They meet every check on our list of things we want in our mate's... On paper... but once you get them home and start living day to day with the personality that is behind it all, while still good people they just arnt for you. Perhaps you out grew him, perhaps he stopped hiding who he really is. The thing you have to do now is think about what you want/need from him or someone in his spot.
Immediate action may not need to be taken. Take your time with it. I know you'll make the right decision for you and for him. I cannot say either way what i would do because i really dont know him. But dont stay because of what he looks like on paper. and dont do it because you think you need someone right now. From what i've seen your an attractive girl, i'm sure that once your ready you'll have little concern for potential relationships. They'll come to you.
Though i do honestly doubt that has ever been a concern of yours.
What i think more of what i'm getting from this is a little bit of insecurity about being on your own in such a difficult time and perhaps apprehension about being referred to as that single girl who had to abort the fatherless baby.
Your physically removed from people by location. but your not mentally. You are a good friend to many, myself included. Keep texting him, keep calling or writing your friends. See if people will come over and hang out.
And as far as your future status, say fuck-off to everyone who thinks of you that way. He was there for you, it was a well thought out decision and not lightly taken. You owe no one an explanation or defense. The situation does not dictate who you are or what you are. You control your destiny, and your focus determines this. (sorry to quote star wars but sometimes cliche's are accurate).
I dont know if any of this helps but perhaps i can be another brick in your "reassurance wall". Let no one tear it down. Least of all you.
P.S. Congratulations on the Lama badges! LOL
My GF accidentally gave me my 69th so that was a pleasant surprise! 
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69 Llama badges! I am truly envious.I like how this intangible object is of interest to us. We value these imagenary miniature llamas...
I only knew him for 4 months or 6 max. Perhaps we just didn't get to know each other well enough to be comfortable as a couple. Maybe we weren't meant to be a couple or much less have children.
I only need from him his support in this pregnancy issue. Otherwise, I think he might just frustrate me. Yesterday, I texted him telling him I couldn't get on the bus because their were too many bikes. This means I didnt get home till about 11.30 pm. He knows I am alone, knocked up, eating everything, and its late. It completely pissed me off that he had no comments about this. He could have said be careful or text me when you get home, etc. He said nothing. This was indication to me that either he is just stupid or simply doesn't care. This is the primary reason lack of affection and concern.
Lets add in a part time job, no goals, getting fatter because he sits around playing video games and devours everything without thinking, no plans that are in effect to return to school, his house is a mess, his car is a mess,etc. I know it seems like I am knit picking but my deal is that if you have time to spare your shit should be organized. If it isn't then that says horrible things about you. Saying well he doesn't beat me is not good enough. I wanted more and I settled.
We have these litttle sheets we fill out for my group counseling and practically the whole page is about my disappointments with him.
So right now I write to everyone I can. I text. I also have made plans with people I normally do not make plans with. I am trying to fill in that gap. I never told you this, but I like his family. I like the environment he is in. His parents are normal, granted this means mom hates me (but its ok, I get it she is jealous and thinks I am going to whisk him away with my magic vagina)and its place I enjoy being in. It's not totally about him. Its about being in a family environment. I dont have that any more. My parents are dead. My aunts and uncles separate themselves and they are not an option. All I have are my grandparents who are on their way out.
Think you come home and what do you see? What are you surrounded by? What does your daily routine offer you? Are there things you never run across? It has been 6 months since I played with a toddler or had anyone like that around me. It's not part of my social circle. I go to school and do art stuff. No kids and not too many family parties because I am not part of that loop. A swingers party yes. An art party yes, but no normal stuff like a bbq. So for me hanging out with him gave me an environment I missed. I like action. I love crazy kids that break rules and don't listen to their parents. It's fucken funny to me.
Now I have to wait about a week and half before I can go in and have this abortion. Do you have any idea what can happen in that time? The simple fact that I have time to think about this creates a larger possibility that I might back out. I am a chicken, not a llama but a chicken. Perhaps those are the hormones talking. But I am still confused.
Back to the llamas. Llamas remind me of dudes with mullets. I know its stretching.Aardvarks are Armenians. Chinchilas are gay fat men with fur coats. Sea lions are black fat dudes that think they are buff.
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Ok LOL This is too funny Black men that think they are buff! That's the majority of what i see EVERY time i go to the beach in LA. Just like sea lions they hog the beach and lay around without shirts on. It's Totally like sea lions! I'm sorry i know most of this post was very serious but that struck me so hard i had to laugh. Ok ok. so now back to it.
Your NOT chicken, your human. This human condition applies to you as much as anyone else. Your not removed from it, no matter how much you'd like to be. If you werent getting attached to it you wouldnt be sane. But this doesnt mean you have to keep it. If you are not up to the task at this point in life then you have to concede that this is the right thing to do. Don't worry about what the future will bring, but you have to make that plan and then just follow it. What are you top priorities right now in this stage of your life? School? Love? Work? what is it (this is a question for you to answer to yourself not me). You know for you this is the right thing. But time always takes its toll. It's a bitch, it makes you think about yourself about what could be, and it also tries to show you the hopeful future. The way things would work in a positive light. We cant help it. Even cynical people see good in things... that's why they are so disappointed with real life. I can't tell you that having or not having this kid is the right thing, that if you had it it would all be ok or a nightmare. Each option poses it's pitfalls. Me I'm anti-child, i don't like babies, i literally despise toddlers and the parents that never seem to watch them, older kids are ok and as they get to teenage years they get more tolerable depending on the personality. So i Might not be the best person to listen too when it comes to this stuff. But i'm trying to keep it unbiased for your sake. Because honestly your not me and i'm not you. All i know is that either way this will follow you for a Loong time. So keep thinking about that for the next week or so.
As for your boywhat, Your on the right track. Hang out with other people. Write and text whom ever you need to. to me it seems like you need to take time away from him after this situation is done. But thats just me. You like his family that's Good! but theres not reason you like someone eles's family too, even more perhaps. Maybe a less protective mother? what you said about magic vagina reminds me of my soon to be ex-sister-in-law. My mom has a pretty good strangle hold on my brother and she tried to take him away from her, but it looks like her magic Vagina wasnt enough, because they have choosen to split paths now too. It's truly tragic. I love her (my sister) very much and she's one of my best friends. It's been hard to let her go, as my brother wants me to take his side. I am torn, but i'll always be her brother. Always.
And if anyone in that family likes you enough they'll be the same way. Only people who are worth while stay with us in life. The rest get weeded out. and that's a good thing. Just remember to learn the lessons life teaches you along the way.
Good luck my dear. im throwing an internet hug your way
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I just had to throw the humor in there because I know I need to talk, but at the same time I need to goof off.
There are pros and cons regardless of what I do. Any decision I make I will have moments of regret and maybe even feel that the other decision was best.
For now I am just trying to chill.
I do like kids and since I am 35 and don't really get into a lot of relationships I feel I should take advantage of it? I know that Ricardo would help me. Unfortunately, I would have to tell him what to do because he is kind of oblivious but he is there and he is pleasant. It's like I have to deal with some drunk or something.
In any case, I have to think.
Btw I kinda thought you had more cats. I saw your photos in Facebook.
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I have 3 right now (cats) i dont have any of the other two (the idiots as i call them "lovingly") I just dont post many of them because one is Jules and the other is a cat i only got because i wanted mine to settle down by having a playmate. He was VERY "bitey". and i dont really take many of them.
It worked, sort of. My mom always had and has tons of cats. 18 right now (I know it's a LOT) and 5 dogs. It's quite the animal paradise back home. Not so much for the people living there but my brother doesnt seem to mind.
Anyway, I guess i thought you were a lot younger than me, your boywhat's background seemed more 19-22ish to me so i assumed with school and what not you were in the range of 25-28. But i guess that really doesnt change the situation all that much does it.
youve still got time and what not for a family and all that jazz. Not as much but still got time.
Keep the humor coming though, it's healing and i dig it. Especially the bit about me looking like a lesbian. I had a good chuckle at that.
Perhaps i could infiltrate some gay clubs and sneak a few girls home (if i were single that is). I'd just tell them i was a "Top" and i liked to keep my shirt on LOL.
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I would love to be at your mom's house. I absolutely love animals. I especially adore cats.
I have 3 cats and they have a pretty good life. I live in nice safe neighborhood. There is little noise. They have plenty of food, shade, plants, and water. I let them go out once a day. Unfortunately, when I leave down to LA on the weekend they have to stay in, but I leave the window open for them.
How does your mom do it? Are they all fixed? Does she own her own property? Like how the hell do you get away or manage that one?
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I'm more of a cat person myself. I dont hate dogs but i'm not eager to get one either. They take up too much energy and i honestly dont like how they NEED the owner. I like cats because they just do there own thing and come to you when they are ready. It makes it feel more special.
My mom lives on a large acreage in a rural environment, but yeah they are all fixed, all have names, personalities, needs and wants. It's like a hotel for cats. Catered and everything. It's quite the event when you see them getting fed in the morning. Let me tell you.
She doesnt leave much beyond work, Vacations are hard because even my brother and step dad find it difficult to keep the maintenance on that amount of animals. So she's kind of in a prison of her own making. But she loves them so i guess it's not to bad. I'd personally never allow it to get that out of hand. But still i love them too. It's like having a LOT of brothers and sisters LOL.
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Can you please record her doing this and put it on youtube?
I know this sounds crazy but I would LOVE to take care of them. When I sleep at night I am surrounded by cats. All their vibrating and their softness is what helps me sleep better. I dig them totally and there is never enough of them.
Please take my interest seriously I would be willing to care for them. Yeah, I know I have to get my ass down there. I am willing and Arizona is not that far. I am sure something can be worked out.
I would take pictures. I would brush them. I would play with them. I would just be in absolute heaven.
It kinda reminds me of this guy:
[link]
Now look at him. He looks like rapist and thief all rolled into one. But the power of the feline has compelled him. Who is Jesus?
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I actually have read this story about this guy and his Cat Community LOL I love it. i have no idea how he keeps up with all those animals. But Bless him for doing it. I grew up with my mom an animal rights enthusiast. Always speaking out against injustices done to our furry and not so furry friends. Birds to pigs she'd be rescuing and advocating for them. I love her for that. It's instilled a big love and appreciation for there little souls in me. I'm not very religious but if there is a heaven, i dont see how our beloved pets wouldnt be there waiting for us.
I do take your interest seriously my dear, i truly do. But my mom lives back home in IA. She visits me here in AZ once every couple of years, so this is her vacation spot. My brother and Step Dad will just have to make do for a week without her. Though i'll tell her she's got a big fan in you!
I'll even try to get my brother to videotape some of the mornings routine for me! that is a great idea! it's soo hilarious the lengths she has to go to.
She just got two more kittens too. A yellow tabby and a gray fuzzy one, i still as yet have to find out what she named them. But My favorite is this big 18pound black cat named Webster (ironically named Webster after the small actor/tv show because as a kitten he was sooo tiny)
I call him my little brother. Hes getting up there in age now though, but i love him dearly. I don't think i can face the day when he's not around anymore.
But if you ever find yourself in Iowa and want to take care of a big farms worth of cats/dogs and a few birds, i'll let her know you'll take over feeding and cat box duty LOL 
As for me it's enough to clean up after the three idiots, They piss so much i have to change there box ever other day. I almost need a trust fund for cat litter just to keep up.
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I thought you guys called him Webster because he fat like the dictionaries they publish!
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He has an affinity for the great works of art thats true... Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtle comics and some Gen 13 but he steers clear of the dictionary. LOL
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My cats do tend to sleep on my books often. Its the attention thing. They see that I am paying attention to the books and they plant themselves there.
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Thats the primary way to get your cats attention. Look like your focused on something besides them. Works everytime, In fact this was also my strategy for getting girls to pay attention to me too.
Depending on the environment, it works wonders. Not that, that tidbit will ever come in handy for you but just something to watch out for. LOL
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I usually find that guys are intimidated by me so I have to kinda ease up and be nice.
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You paint an iteresting picture of yourself. I always say though, it's best to be yourself and let someone deal with the real you up front. If that means most of them turn the other way, then it just means the right one is narrowed down by the time they even talk to you. and think of all that effort you've saved yourself. 
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But intimidating is not the real me. I am in fact very sensitive. So I think its only fair to both of us for me to be myself and my entire self. Not just the self that will enjoy hurting you if you hurt me.
I see myself as a saint and a serial killer in one dress. And yes, when I am not riding my bike I wear dresses or skirts. But even when I do ride my bike I wear make up and all that girly stuff.
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I gotta be honest, when you first started talking to me off and on WAAAYYYY back when, you did intimidate me a bit. I honestly doubted our ability to get along. but i see now that clearly isnt the case.
So i think i get what your saying. Your shell is not the real you and i can see why you think you need to let your guard down at times. Just to be open to life, to not miss out on it. Thats important.
Saint and a Serial Killer huh? I dated a girl like that once, probably not to the level you take it. She stomped the floor with my heart, but what a ride. And isnt that what life is all about? 
So if someone is lucky enough to take the Christina Ride, they should count themselves lucky. even if they have to get off and feel ill for a bit, in the end i think they'd look back on it fondly 
In other words, i know you've been down a little lately, maybe not feeling quite worth while or just to hazardous to be with. but honestly, a real man can take it, we know girls get a little bit off. We know how to handle it.
Don't think for one second the "right" guy will be scared off.
P.S. I didn't exactly think you wore 90's jeans and plaid long sleeves. LOL I kinda always thought of you as rocking your own style, kinda girly but dark somehow too. But honestly my only mental picture is you "owning" your own look no matter what it happens to be.
Which is pretty cool in my book. Confidence is king, after all.
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Interesting I was intimating via internet? Are you serious? Is this because of my pictures or what?
I dont go out of my way to hurt ppl unless they do it to me. Relationships usually dont fall in this category. It's the fucked up supervisors and shitty neighbors that have been making everyones life hell before someone with some dignity crossed they path.
I am not really concerned with my worth. I dont even think of myself. I am just trying to make it thru this semester and hope that this pregnancy deal works out for the best.
I have an appointment on Friday. Remember its an ectopic pregnancy so its not just abortion drama but maybe no kids ever? I dont know. I might need some other procedure done to save myself.
I wear a combo of 20s,40s, indian clothes, and just any thing with lace or creepy but in good taste. I like the goth look, but I don't need to send out the message that I want to die or enjoy pain because I clearly do not. I dont even use a loofah and I hate itchy clothes.
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Intimidating by way of keeping the Bullshit level to "0" at all times. if you are interested in talking you will and if your not then you wont, and what you say will be the utmost truth you see in your head with little or no sugar coating. I can appreciate that. it's a great trait to have in a friend, but somehow when your on a new acquaintance level i wasn't quite sure how to take it. I've met some people who were so opinionated they literally wanted to throw me off of DA, so i had to tread lightly and let you say what you were going to say and still keep my self respect by standing my ground when appropriate. Nothing particular comes to mind, as i tend to forget easily, i just remember being slightly intimidated by you when first we had contact. That and i Love your photos, so your skills also had some play in it too. I highly respect you as an artist.
Then too as you describe your daily paths through life i can see you know how to hold your own with people. a trait i only recently (last 3-4 years) started to obtain. If nothing else, admittedly i admire you, and what you stand for.
That being said, i really feel for you and hope the best for you.
Now with the pregnancy issues your having i feel really bad, i know you'll come out on top or make due with the circumstances no matter what they end up being. But i just wish you didnt have to go through it.
Thats about the long and short of it. That's why i think i care so much, I really do admire you. (not in any sort of internet stalker creep way. just think your a very cool person)
In addition to that, i actually thought of you as a 40's-50's style girl. Almost rockabilly somehow. I dont know how close that is but that's just the image i had. not that i need an image. Actually even after seeing your photos (in which you say some of you are the model) i still only regularly think of you as white box with green background (DA) How awful is that! Sorry! it's better now that you painted a little picture for me. So thanks!
Am i at all what you thought i'd look like? Lesbian wanna be and all?
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What the fuck is up with the purple? I dont like purple.
I dont really care if you agree with what I say. I guess perhaps you have felt you must tread lightly with others. But one thing a healthy debate and the other is being friends.
I do not tread lightly neither on paper or in person. I am not afraid. I dont care who knows who, what kind of drugs you do, how many times you have been to jail, etc. I interact and communicate while trying to maintain loyalty to myself.
On the pregnancy issue its ectopic so I dont really think thats a choice for me to make. No one can fix that and I would have to abort in order to save my own health.
And about appearance I am a bit of a chameleon. I have one look for clubs and another for every day. I ride a bike to school and its really cold over here.
I have one pair of jeans. I usually wear jewelry, make up, etc. I think I am kinda stuck in the 90's. I still wear my Docs. Not rockabilly, perhaps a bit more on the "mod" side. But see you never know. I wear Indian dresses, and funky Persian shawls. I guess I do have an edge, but I like looking like a girl with some class.
Do you have a myspace? I have pics of me there. I didn't upload that stuff to DA or facebook because I got so tired of all time it took.
I never really thought about what you would look like. I just kinda got the vibe like you were hiding it from ppl in general. You are not the lesbian want to be. Lesbians want to be you. You are the iconic male. Like the prototype, ideal pattern to be for the caucasian lesbian.
Its like Kim Kardashian, well not that bad but this is funny, she just looks like a big drag queen with too much make up and plastic surgery. So who follows her? Exactly.
Exaggeration always helps point out what I mean.
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Purple has always been my favorite color since childhood. Dark purple, not pastel. My car is "black cherry pearl" (purple). I love the color and i can respect what the cause is trying to say. However, i don't think it should be all about gays lesbians bisexuals and Trans-sexuals/Transgender's.. Other kids get bullied you know, my GF's son was bullied relentlessly for the past 2 years. He's not gay or even akward. Just weak and a little short, perhaps too thin. I was bullied my whole life until i graduated highschool. It was for being fat. I felt like killing myself almost every day. came close a few times. Scary close. So to have a day for Gays and all that is a little insulting to the rest of us who went through adolescence.
I dont think bulling should be tolorated, on any level. I realize that they say that it's for everyone, but once you put that purple flag on it you might as well plant the Rainbow and Triangle to it too. I'm supportive of gay marriage, i'm also supportive of people expressing themeselves. but somehow i think this belittles the rest of us who are just akward and not really anti gay ourselves but just dont want to be harrased even more by being thrown in that group. Where's the color for akward kids? Wheres the color flag for the Chess team, band geek, LARP kids, and even emo's? It can't just be black, we dont all worship satain and want to cut like the stereotypes want the world to believe. Wheres the day for the Nerds who hung themselves because the cheerleaders tore them down, or the fat kid who ate him/herself to death or took a bottle of sleeping pills because they just couldnt cope with being outside of society anymore? Yes they are real people under there. That tears my heart out. It all does. Gays, straight, akward and socially inept. Everyone experiences pain, and everyone has a story to tell.
I'm sort of sorry to hear that your pregnancy was decided for you and the medical issue could cause problems down the road, but also in some way relieved that you should feel no guilt about it. It's a shitty thing either way but i guess there are good and bad parts to it like most things in life. It all depends on how you decide to look at it.
I wasnt trying to hid from anyone on here, Well i was, before my boss found me on DA. then i just gave up. I've had some bad luck with internet stalkers in the past. But honestly i just wanted to express my darker side here and once he found me on here i felt like i had to tame it down. That's primarily why i have not posted anymore paintings and partly why i do no nudes. (that and no willing models)
I was only joking about the lesbian thing, you explained yourself quite well on that a while ago. i was just giving you a hard time
This is of course not to say i thought you were making fun or otherwise, I got your meaning.
My myspace is still active, though like most people i've given up on it as a social networking site as crappy facebook has taken over with my friends. (i hate facebook, just as a side note)
I dont even know if i can remember my password anymore. I'll have to look into that.
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Well my myspace is www.myspace.com/taconees
Isnt today that earthquake shit?
I was not fat when I was younger. But I have always been either normal or on the plump side. I would have to blame that on my affinity for food. I dig food. I like to eat, make and I like it to look nice. I particularly enjoy creating it with other people. All guys in the running must like cats and must be willing to at least chop something in the kitchen. My friend, thats what we will call him now, Ricardo asked me why I dont ever eat any thing normal. I am Mexican and I buy Asian food with labels I can't read and just figure it out. I shop at shit hole Mexican markets, Trader Joes, and eat food off of illegal stands
So I was never picked on. I also never picked on any one. But I really cant imagine killing myself over being picked on. I can imagine killing others though. I guess it all depends on how you deal with anger.
I was however picked on when I was in elementary school. And that was pretty sad. I went to school dirty and wearing shitty clothes. My mother was a drunk and didn't take care of me. It's strange because I had come from my grandmothers house where I clearly had nice clothes, was well groomed, and had the appropriate amount of attention. I was so neglected I was sent home one day because I guess I must have looked that bad. And they told me, vs telling my mother. What the hell was I supposed to know or do about it? I didnt have control? So my nick name was baglady.
Eventually, I got tired of it and kicked the shit out of the 3 kids in one week. One of the girls was from catholic school. I dragged her priveledged ass by her hair. Looking back it was so stupid. I was clearly smarter and better looking than any of those deep fried mexicans. I am Mexican, but I have common sense.
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I dont remember what my Myspace is. i found yours though and clicked to add as a friend.
What earthquake shit are you talking about?
Lucky you for not being picked on as a kid too much, It's a terrible thing. Especially when they gang up on you. I was never a small child and i always had enemies from every direction. I had a lot of friends in kindergarden through 3rd grade. but the bullies either were jealous or something about me really pissed them off. So from then on they stole my friends, picked on me, beat me up etc. Imagining i could kill them is the only thing i could do, because to stand and fight would have been useless. I remember standing up just once to them as a freshman in highschool. That work about as good well as cutting a rope with a noodle. I ended up blacking out from being choked and kneed in the crotch. Keep in mind this happend in shop class with a teacher no less than 15ft away in the same room.
The world just doesnt care about fat kids. LOL but that which does not kill us... right?
It's over and done with, so i tend not to dwell on it.
Baglady eh. thats pretty creative actually for kids. Mine was Fatboy or tubby.
I'm with you on the food though, i'm a Mexican-food-aholic... I'm big on flavor. Chinese food, Italian, Mexican YUMMY! the more flavor or spices the better!
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You should try Cuban, Jamaican, or Soul Food.
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MMMMM Jamaican! 
Hey finally checked out your Myspace, very cool you got tons of photos on there! good stuff too. I havent been on Myspace in so long i forgot how to navigate the damn thing! LOL But i got it!
You look like you got some AWESOME friends out there, reminds me of when i go hang out with my LA friends. Must be a SoCal thing to be that cool.
So i gotta ask what are you going to be for Halloween? you guys look like you like to dress up!
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Collard greens suck, grass with salad dressing would be better. But yams, dressing, gumbo, jumbalaya,chicken and waffles, etc. thats good. Collard greens exist at my market. They should be next to the bok choy and spinach.
Halloween well I usually celebrate it the whole month, but as you know things got weird. On the 30th I am going to a punk rock bbq. My plan is to be a chicken. I dont have plans for the 31st. But on Nov.1 and 2nd we will have Dia De Los Muertos over at want to be Mexican headquarters in Los Angeles. I will be wearing the black and white make up, plus doing make up for kicks. I already have a paid gig lined up to do this.
So the way I see it is I have the 30th, 31st, Nov. 1st, and Nov 2nd to dress up. I am not really sure why I want to be a chicken. It just seems like not me and thats why.
I am not doing Hollywood or West Hollywood as I have already done that a million times. I might want to hang at the Hollywood Cemetary though. Yes, you can do that here. Remember I saw the chocolate factory movie there.
My grandmas birthday is Nov.1st as well.
What about you?
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I wonder how come everyone keeps raving over collard greens then.
I used to celebrate Halloween more when i was just a bit younger but lately it seems my professional job discourages my lifestyle. I had this tradtion of wearing a mohawk for the month then it got down to a week and now it's just at zero.
As for this Halloween, first let me say i'm Irish so a pagan celtic holiday is really what i live for (Halloween and St. Paddy's day are my christmas's) but i just think with my GF son not really being into anymore but not old enough to take care of himself on such a holiday it's pretty much a given that for the second year in a row, we will be doing nothing. I'm not very happy about it, as this past St. Paddys day was just about the worst day of my life as well. but i'm still trying to block it out so we'll go right past that.
I had hopes that we could do something but that went out the window. So instead i think i'll do the Halloween photo shoot with my Meet up group for photographers and do some scarry shots next saturday. that'll give me the "Feel" of having done something worth remembering.
and that's all i really need i think.
but no costume for me this year. not as yet anyway.
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I hate oatmeal cookies, clove, anchovies, papaya, and egg plant. And in my condition I will just leave it at that. I cant get into details.
NO costume? Is it because of others or you? Its so much fun. Its one of the least sentimental holidays that is also cool.
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Ick Clove, have you ever had that Clove gum? i'd rather eat dog shit... Fresh.
Go into details if you like LOL i can imagine.
Halloween... This is partly me and mostly situational. This year being on sunday night, it's hard with a real job to go party all night. (thats an excuse i know) I dont have too many friends down here, and that really kinda takes the wind out of the sails if you catch my drift. I'm not a leader among men. I'd like to be but my personality is more go with the flow. (sort of)
If people want to go out and have a good time i might be one of the craziest people at the party. But if nobody wants to go at all, i cant seem to muster the enthusiasm to get everyone going. If you have an idea i can take it to the next level. but if you dont then i havent a clue what to do.
And with my GF not really giving too much of a shit either way. She's like me, if we go fine but i don't know what on earth we would do if we did try to do something.
I'm just not good at ideas of things to do. Places to go and all that. My ex was really good at that, she really knew how to get out and shake off the stress. That's probably the ONLY thing i miss about her.
Next year i'll have a plan. i think i'm starting my costume for next year now. I just want to do a silly 50's space suit, so i'll start sewing it now. That'll be good for lots of things to. Comic book conventions and such. I think it'll be good.
I have a Halloween shoot tues with my photo meet up group so maybe i'll get some of my kicks that way too. It'll be good.
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Clove gum? Are you kidding? So where is the guppy gut gum?
Well papaya smells like foot and ass to me. And egg plant looks like a fetus to me. Anchovies? Who really wants hair on their food? I appreciate an occasional feather on chicken, because I now know its chicken . But I fish and hair? Thats funk like cheese and hair. I like funky cheese but it's really hard when things start looking like you.
Well you can just have a creepy dinner, dress up, and have a drink or two. Make food that looks creepy. Check out this link: [link]
There's no crime in pretending to be the Adam's Family for an evening. So throw on a toga, make some weird food, and watch halloween stuff. There is actually a year around Halloween station on Windows media.
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I told my GF about this, and i guess i didnt realize that she was actually in tears with her friend over not being able to give me a Halloween celebration again this year. I told her it was not that big of a deal and (though it is my favorite holiday of the year) that perhaps we will try again next year...
When i told her your idea and how cool i thought it was to just party with ourselves and make an in night party of it, she about jumped on me she was so happy.
Jules wanted to say that she quote "FUCKING LOVES YOU" in capital letters specifically. LOL
So thanks for your suggestion it should work out great for us. 
I'm picking up some horror movies tonight to make a whole marathon of Freddy Kruger and perhaps some Jason or paranormal activity. LOL
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Thanks. I need to beloved considering my situation.
And you can even get ethnic and do Dia De Los Muertos. Please dont forget to pick up Beetle Juice.
I thought of that because my sister was the youngest and she always wanted to go to night clubs with us. So I created the same atmosphere at the house and had her dress up. Its pretty much how I decorate as well. No need to take drugs if you already changing your reality?
As for me I randomly wear cat ears and do things like that. I will occasionally wear Day of the Dead make up and go to a goth club like that. I just like it. It's definitely one of the more artsy and morbid holidays.
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BEETLE JUICE! Yes!
thats what i need to get!
Your offically my idea go to girl. 
I think i should wear some "KISS" makeup and lounge around the house... in my new hat. yes that would be awesome.. not even for halloween just for fun.
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I love creepy places tho
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This felt a bit like "the hills have eyes" and i know what you mean. It "Felt" like something was going to happen. you didnt want to hang out too long i can tell you that much.
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It wasnt a place you wanted to hang out at for very long i can tell you that. 
I'm glad you liked it though!
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your too kind! Thank you VERY much! That means a lot to me!
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