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NR96 [2018-01-13 01:40:05 +0000 UTC]

hmmmmmm





still needs more dakka....

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Vrekandis [2015-07-21 22:36:35 +0000 UTC]

"So tell me of this...Bolo?"

"This is the backbone of their armored groundside infantry, Overseer. According to our analysts, the main weapon consists of a cryogenic slug of mixed deuterium and tritium encased in a steel cartridge, which is magnetically accelerated to just under the speed of light in only a few meters' worth of distance.  The inertia of acceleration compresses the slug to the point of fusion--a high-powered laser clears the atmosphere ahead of the cannon, so that the maximum amount of kinetic energy from each target reaches the target instead of being attenuated by atmosphere. What impacts is essentially a magnetically- and inertially-confined thermonuclear blast, only a few centimeters in size.  The laser itself could be considered a Class-IV weapon all by itself, but the nuclear round is--"

"Wait.  What you describe is a NAVAL weapon.  How can they manage to mount this on a land-based vehicle?  How do they even POWER it?"

"Miniaturization, sire.  The humans' mastery of building compact yet powerful devices is...well, to put it bluntly, impressive--that's the only word for it, really.  It's better than ours, sire.  MUCH better.  As for their power reactors...well there you are.  May I continue?"

"By all means."

"Yes, sire.  Well..each of the main cannons can fire more than once per second, at a separate target.   Firepower is measured in megatons per second, and the theoretical range is...from here to well past our third moon.  It can hit targets in space well before they reach orbit, or depress them to hit ground targets.  Each is equipped with a kinetic battle screen--shields, sire--but even in the absence of shields, one of these units can easily survive several shots from a weapon equivalent to their own cannons..."

"Their armor is THAT good?"

"Yes, sire.  The samples we have were sitting in seafloor ooze for close to a thousand years and didn't corrode.  It takes hours to cut them for analysis, even with lasers and diamond saws  And that was from a model many generations more primitive than the one you see here.  They're THAT tough, sire.  There are reports--unconfirmed, mind you--that a model similar to the ones from which those samples originated was nearly destroyed in an engagement with the Axorc-"

"THOSE Axorc?  The ones that went extinct a millennium or so ago, after steamrolling half of this galactic arm?"

"Yes, sire.  Three guesses as to why they went extinct.  Anyway, that unit was critically damaged and irradiated along with its battalion.  Rather than decontaminating them, they stripped them of their working weapons and buried them for radiation containment.  Nearly a century later, one of them apparently spontaneously reactivated, dug its way out of hundreds of meters of hardened ferrocrete and fused soil, and then proceeded to tunnel its way to the planetary surface, seeking an enemy to engage.  It drove underground, sire.  For kilometers.  It was reported to be running solely on the last dregs of energy left in a single emergency battery.  And that was a primitive one." 

"Holy K'olk'r.  Continue please?" 

"Yes, sire.   The latest reports also indicate that some of the current units mount a space-targeting-only weapon called a Hellrail, with far higher firepower.  It can't be depressed, fortunately, but it has firepower of somewhere in the neighborhood of 90 megatons per second.  They use smaller versions of their main cannon as secondary weapons, twelve or more in all, as well as small-scale energy weapons called ion-bolt infinite repeaters and flechette cannons that could in and of themselves be main weapons on most of our own vehicles.  They also carry mortars for indirect fire, and mount a VLS missile system.  In addition--"

"Empress Teats, there's MORE?"

"Yes, sire.  They also mount armed drones for reconnaissance and aerial support, and many can deploy smaller units for additional firepower.  They can be deployed from orbit--each of them has a contragravity drive that allows them to be dropped from a carrier and safely land.  And, apparently, the same system can also be used when one of them needs to 'step it up,' so to speak--they can lift off and fly for at least a short distance.  Once deployed, they can largely support themselves--they can manufacture fresh ammunition from local resources, and their self-repair and maintenance systems are positively uncanny.  And...they're fully sentient. " 

"....sentient."

"Yes, sire.  Sentient.  The one I spoke with was remarkably chatty and well-spoken.  It had a fondness for music and enjoyed puns and games....and it saw our software security measures as just another game.  After rummaging through our personnel records and cultural database, it exited the mainframe without damage, yet was thoughtful enough to patch the vulnerabilities it found.  It left a text file behind, describing what it had fixed.  I've little doubt, that it could get back in if it wanted, however, sire." 

"So...it's a giant land battleship with a sense of humor, it can vaporize targets on the moon, and it can fly.  And it's sentient and likes good dance music.  And...they have thousands and thousands of them."

"Yes, sire."

"...."
 
 "Ahem.  Also...it offered to trade us some human- and melconian-made music.  And literature. The analysts have been listening to samples for most of the day."

"Right.  So  I...think I've got enough information to make a recommendation. Take a message, please."

"Yes, sire."

"Copy this down exactly:  'The humans and their allies are largely peaceful, and would very much like to pursue relations and a peaceful cultural exchange with us.  For the love of K'olk'r, take them up on their offer.  We need them as allies, and we don't WANT them as enemies.'" 

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narrva [2015-05-23 16:06:34 +0000 UTC]

Aliens: "This is humanity's vision of their future military."
Aliens: ".... ... ......"
Aliens: "Yeeeaaah... lets NOT piss off this species..."

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metalshadowinsanity [2014-04-21 14:12:39 +0000 UTC]

ATTENBOROUGH WOULD BE PROUD!!!! But does this thing shoot everywhere, everyWHEN at once…?

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wetback-ninja [2013-10-01 03:24:17 +0000 UTC]

Bolo.......who needs air support anyway?

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TheNefariousNerd [2013-08-09 07:03:11 +0000 UTC]

Bolo: the embodiment of "use more gun".

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GraysonPaladin [2013-03-14 23:12:58 +0000 UTC]

Ah Bolos my kind of tank, big, armored and capable of shooting a ship out of orbit

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GumMerchant [2012-08-30 22:20:30 +0000 UTC]

if this was unleashed in World of Tanks, there will be no tanks, but hulks that ends in miles and miles. a horrifying sight it must be....

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DolphinSilverwolf [2012-05-29 04:32:14 +0000 UTC]

Sure, until you use a precisely dropped artillery shell to turn it over, then it shuts down.

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