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NightmarishWarlord In reply to Dillybar64 [2019-07-13 21:26:43 +0000 UTC]

Dr. Seward: It's Dracula. He trapped all of Transylvania's vampire hunters in the sewers. We need you back Van Helsing, we need you back.

Van Helsing: Don't worry, Dr. Seward, I know exactly what to do.

*in an alleyway*

Van Helsing: Dracula.

Dracula: Ah, Van Helsing, we meet again.

Van Helsing: Enough, set the vampire hunters free, or else!

Dracula: Or else what?

Van Helsing: Or else, I will kill all of the firstborn children of Transylvania!

Dracula: Uhhh, you'll do what now?

Van Helsing: I said, I will kill all of Transylvania's firstborn children.

*Dracula laughs evilly*

Dracula: Brilliant, Van Helsing, why didn't I think of that?

Van Helsing: Huh?

Dracula: Perhaps, we got off on the wrong foot, Van Helsing. I think we should work together, collaborate.

Van Helsing: Shit, *pulls out his cell phone* Dr. Seward.

Dr. Seward: Hello?

Van Helsing: My plan isn't working.

Dr. Seward: Get Thomas Forsythe.

Van Helsing: Forsythe?

Dr. Seward: Yeah.

Van Helsing: He'll know what to do? Got it.

Dr. Seward: Oh, and get some mix, vapor, and rub.

Van Helsing: Mix, vapor, rub, ok. I'll pick some up, from Walgreens.

Dr. Seward: You're really messing up.

Van Helsing: I'm sorry sir, I'm doing my best.

Dracula: Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and drink the blood of the prom queen.

*in London*

Forsythe: So, the vampire hunters are trapped in the sewers, and Transylvania is overrun with vampires?

Van Helsing: Yeah.

Forsythe: Simple, same thing happened here in London, only with werewolves instead of vampires.

Van Helsing: Oh yeah?

Forsythe: Yeah, first, you gotta create a 3000000 foot tall anvil, and launch it into the sky.

*Van Helsing writes it down*

Van Helsing: 3000000 foot tall anvil, got it.

Forsythe: I had it exit the atmosphere for dramatic effect. Then, blow up the rocket, so the anvil drops into the ocean, so it creates a tsunami.

Van Helsing writes this down too*

Van Helsing: Tsunami, got it.

Forsythe: Yeah, you wanna flood all of Transylvania, so that even the tallest building and tallest mountain are underwater.

Van Helsing: I should drown everybody?

Forsythe: Yep, everyone and everything, I don't care if it's babies and kittens, they should be chokin' on water, except for say, Dr. Seward, save him and his family, so that they can incestuously repopulate Transylvania after everyone is dead.

Van Helsing: And you're sure that's the best solution, then?

Forsythe: Yep.

Van Helsing: Got it. Thanks, Tom, you sure are heroic.

Forsythe: No problem, *pulls out a bottle* but be sure to drink this first.

Van Helsing: Oh wow. Will this give me supernatural powers like Dracula's?

Forsythe: Um, no Van Helsing, that's Mucinex.

Van Helsing: Um....

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