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brokenfragilethings — lessons in losing
Published: 2013-11-12 21:37:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 351; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 0
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Description your hair still lingers
in the holes of my sweater--
i do not miss you.
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brokenfragilethings - gangrene

brokenfragilethings - 01.
Comments: 6

the-solimnludic [2013-11-13 03:45:16 +0000 UTC]

This didn't even feel choppy...it was a smooth ride until the last line which felt more punchy, which is good in this case, even! I didn't even realize it was a haiku...I think that's a great thing, that the three lines just perfectly wove into each other!

This makes me see the narrator pulling out hair stuck in their sweater...just that image of trying to get rid of every last trace of that other person. Pretty depressing. It was a nice read, though. C:

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brokenfragilethings In reply to the-solimnludic [2013-11-18 19:25:30 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I tried to make the last line sort of "punchy" (I love that word!), to give it sort of a contrast to the way the two first lines flowed. Idk--I'm glad it came across though LOL

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it c:

And yeah.
That's exactly what happened, haha.

Thank you!

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the-solimnludic In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-12-01 20:33:23 +0000 UTC]

Haha!
Yeah, I definitely felt it!

Really? Wow, that's amazing I was able to pick up on that as a reader.
Anyways, I hope you're doing well.


You're so welcome! ^^

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ErinM31 [2013-11-13 03:05:01 +0000 UTC]

You have a talent for creating poignancy with just a few words. Well done again!

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brokenfragilethings In reply to ErinM31 [2013-11-18 19:22:31 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for your kind words! I appreciate it. (:

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ithaswhatitisnt [2013-11-12 22:10:20 +0000 UTC]

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