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brokenfragilethings β€” punch me
Published: 2015-11-22 08:28:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 831; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 0
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Description kiss me with your fist closed.
3 am smells of sourdough and sadness,
and i can't get the sound of your voice
to stop blowing from my ceiling fan

i want to kiss this girl so badly i can feel it in my teeth.
i bet you taste like cherry cola and gin.
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Comments: 10

Mechemom [2015-12-11 14:10:34 +0000 UTC]

Love the line about your voice blowing from my ceiling fan.

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brokenfragilethings In reply to Mechemom [2015-12-17 22:24:35 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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Xxmistywolfx [2015-12-06 11:38:21 +0000 UTC]

whats the poem about????

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brokenfragilethings In reply to Xxmistywolfx [2015-12-07 08:06:45 +0000 UTC]

it's about an unrequited crush/lust
on someone you should not have any sort of feelings forΒ 

it goes a bit deeper than that but! that's the gist of it.
if you'd like it further explained / want more detail, let me know.

thank you for being interested.Β 

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Xxmistywolfx In reply to brokenfragilethings [2015-12-21 16:05:52 +0000 UTC]

okay and no problem

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TheJovian [2015-11-23 08:58:55 +0000 UTC]

I can see the nucleus of a good poem in this thing, it just needs a "few", "slight" rewrites. Still thanks for reminding me never to get drunk.

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brokenfragilethings In reply to TheJovian [2015-11-23 17:37:04 +0000 UTC]

AH IM SORRY i thought you said "write" drunk,Β 
not get drunk.

you definitely don't have to get drunk and i don't recommend it if you're not into it! haha. i'm sorry, i totally misread that.

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brokenfragilethings In reply to TheJovian [2015-11-23 16:02:31 +0000 UTC]

Haha, yeah. It's unstructured and all over the place, I came back to da the next morning like "oh no why."

I'm still considering scrapping it, but I don't usually like scrapping my work because when I redo it, I like looking at the comparison. Kind of like a progress report. So I'm torn.

Anyway, yeah. Drunk me writes all emotion and doesn't balance it with form and understanding and, you know, everything that makes a poem a poem.

Kind of embarrassed about this, but it's still mine, so. Haha, no problem! It was pretty therapeutic though. I guess I kind of recommend it.

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MephistotheDemon [2015-11-23 04:18:03 +0000 UTC]

aww good poetry

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brokenfragilethings In reply to MephistotheDemon [2015-11-23 04:55:18 +0000 UTC]

haha oh man i should probably fix this up or something

but thank you! so much

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