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Description
Trigger Warnings:
Incest and strong language.

The gentle ruffling of the breeze blew across the lake territory, a ThunderClan tom perched at the base of a tree, grumbling to himself about the squirrel that managed to sneak away from him. The golden tom pressed his paw against the trunk, glaring up into the treetops, daring the bushy little monster to come back down.

"You stupid furball," he hissed out through clenched jaws, the wind whipping his fur up into messy bunches. "Get your scrawny tail back down here!" He swiped his claws across the bark, before recoiling and hissing in pain. He inspected his paw, sending a disapproving glare at where one of his claws used to be. "Foxdung," he grumbled, dragging his rough tongue across his pad and inspected it again. Another thing for him to worry about. He'd just ask Jayfeather to look at it later, he decided. He paused as he swiped his tongue across it again. His brother had been very.. distant lately. Worry creased his face as he set his paw gingerly down and glared up at the treetops, sending all of his frustration in that simple amber glance. "I'll come back for you later, squirrel." Of course, the squirrel would probably be long gone by the time he returned, so why would he even bother? He shook his head, grumbling a bit as he sauntered off.

He glanced back only one or twice, as if expecting Tigerstar to suddenly bounce out and proclaim that he had gained control of the whole world. He blinked slowly at his surroundings, sighing to himself. It still seemed probable; he still couldn't relax even after they've won the battle against the Dark Forest. He sighed to himself, grumbling about how the squirrel must've been crossbred with a rabbit to have been running that fast, not allowing himself to acknowledge the fact that he had simply been slow today. "Crappy hunting again, brother?" the familiar call of his grey tabby kin caused the golden tom to whip his head up in alarm before smiling softly at the medicine cat as he sauntered over.

"Like always," Lionblaze agreed, grinning broadly as he sat down on his haunches, wrapping his long tail around his set of paws. "Seriously though, what in the name of StarClan have they been crossbred with? Rabbits?"

Jayfeather snickered at his brother's complains, falling onto his back with an 'oof!'. "We could change it, you know. Make them such lazy asses," Jayfeather meowed, snickering at his older brother's scowl. The invincible warrior fell back beside the medicine cat, watching silently as the squirrel hopped from the branches above repeatedly, taunting them with their chatter.

"But then where would be the fun in it?" his golden tabby kin complained, sighing in exasperation. Rolling his brilliant, clear blue eyes, the grey tabby rolled onto his side to face Lionblaze, a smirk on his face, but then seeming to think better of it when Lionblaze sighed and slithered forward so that the golden-pelted warrior was pressed against the medicine cat firmly. "Let's not do it today, Jayfeather. I just want to cuddle."

"Quit being such a wuss, Lionblaze," Jayfeather chided, but swept his tail around them anyways and wriggled closer, resting his head gently ontop of his brother's. He drank in the familiar battle-weary tom's scent. "Why don't you ever eh... do this with Cinderheart?"

"Because Cinderheart isn't you," Lionblaze meowed, startling Jayfeather slightly before he felt the grey tom nod on top of his head. "I'd very much prefer a grumpy tom cuddling with me than her. I don't know why. It's unusual, but I like it."

"Cuddling is for wusses," Jayfeather complained, his short tabby fur feeling unusual and very odd pressed against his brother's. "But if you like it, fine." He sighed, blowing softly on Lionblaze's ear causing him to wince and gasp softly before wriggling closer to the touch. "As long as you don't do it with her. Just us."

"She's my mate, Jayfeather," Lionblaze objected to his brother's constant complaints. "These sort of incestious relationships don't happen. That's why it's happening in a dream, for StarClan's sake. We're closer than any brothers should but dammit, how can something so wrong feel so right? But why am I blabbering? This is only a dream."

Every single word sent stakes through the medicine cat's heart, but he didn't dare mention it. This isn't a dream, dammit! I don't want this to be a dream! I can walk into dreams! You know that, Lionblaze. Dreams always reveal the darkest desires. So why in StarClan's name won't you accept that and stay with me? Jayfeather sighed again, dragging Lionblaze forcefully closer to himself, pain and longing etching into his heart. Dammit, I know this is a dream, you know this is a dream. But that doesn't make it any less real. I'm tired of being lonely; I'm tired of seeing her with you; I don't want the damn Warrior Code and other cats breathing down our damn necks! I want us to be together, Lionblaze! "Something's on your mind," Lionblaze's gruff voice shattered through Jayfeather's thoughts briefly. No shit, genius. Congratulations. You win a prize. "Want to talk about it?" StarClan, yes!

"No," Jayfeather meowed, contradicting himself, smiling and looking down thoughtfully at his kin. "I'm just thinking about us." Why not just tell him, Jayfeather? Are you being a wuss too? "...Thinking about Cinderheart too, I suppose."

"Great StarClan, your starting to sound like the real Jayfeather!" Lionblaze meowed, chuckling. No shit. "If he actually came here, I'd be so screwed. He'd never actually think of me the same way. Ever. That's kind of why I went with Cinderheart; she reminded me of Jayfeather. If only you were real, and all of this was real." It is, Lionblaze! Dammit, it's real! You just think it's not.. "But if he knew of my feelings for him, he'd probably claw my ears off. I wouldn't be surprised if he walking in here right now. He can do that." No, I wouldn't. Why can't you see that? I'm right here, this is real!"But that's why I dream of you. Jayfeather once said that dreams are of the darkest desires, right? Jayfeather's mine." A sigh. "But I can never tell him that."

"Why not?" the question escaped the sleek tom's mouth before he realized it before clasping his jaws shut.

"The Clan would shun us - me, probably," Lionblaze's response was automatic and a soft sadness had filled his voice. It was like he had been thinking it over, plenty of times.

"So you'd pick the Clan over me - augh, er, Jayfeather?"

No hesitation. "Yes." That single statement caused Jayfeather's heart to wrench painfully, causing a small gargle of pain to bubble up before he drowned it down, smiling in a grimace. "But that... is why these dreams happen, Jayfeather."

A tight, forced smile spreads across Jayfeather's vacant face, the pain hiding behind his closed eyes. "I see. I'll be sure to.. to let the real Jayfeather know. It's best you wake up now, it's morning. Can't be late for dawn patrol." Then, leaning forward, the grey tom raked his tongue across his brother's amber eye in affection, starting from his forehead down to just below his eye. Leaning back again and smiling ever so softly, Jayfeather blinked warmly at his kin, "So wake up." Then with a soft whisper of a breeze, Lionblaze was gone.

Jayfeather woke up with a start, his throat constricted -not from dehydration, he knew-, his claws digging into his nest. He fought the urge to cry out his distress before smoldering and killing that desire, sniffling ever so often as he drank in the air. Blinking, he observed the darkness that swarmed around him, and sighing a bit in distress. Another day he would have to deal with living without Lionblaze by his side, another day he'd have to endure, but endure it he would, for when nighttime came, he would enjoy the dreams. But that's all their relationship was, anyways. Just dreams, and shattered hopes.

Sighing again and grumbling as he shuffled out of the medicine cat den and pricking his paw on what could have been a thorn, he located each cat who found their way out of the dens. Grumbling, he sniffed the air and smelled the dew, realizing that dawn was only just around the corner. Blinking, he drank in the scent of the cats and located them by their thoughts.

"I better go off on my dawn patrol, Cinderheart."

That voice.

Those words.

That name.

Clenching his jaw, he began to march his way across the camp, intending to catch the golden tabby tom at the entrance, brushing aside a few stray stragglers, not bothering to mumble an apology. He stopped only a fox length away from his den before realizing what he was doing and stopped in his tracks and scowling, in his usual grumpy mood. "Lionblaze!" he roared, his anger spiking. Feeling his golden pelted brother's gaze fall on him, he hesitated, his anger smoothing until it was a small flame at the back of his mind, but his heart still beat to it's own rhythm. Dammit. Lionblaze did this to him every single damn time. His brother's attention was on him. It was now or never. Who knows? Maybe dreams do come true. "What if... what if those dreams were real. Who would you pick then?"

A jagged intake of breath.

A hesitation.

Jayfeather could feel the tension radiating off of his brother.

He could already feel the rejection.

"I would pick..."

Here it comes.

"You."

And then Jayfeather smiled.

Description
Trigger Warnings:
Incest and strong language.

The gentle ruffling of the breeze blew across the lake territory, a ThunderClan tom perched at the base of a tree, grumbling to himself about the squirrel that managed to sneak away from him. The golden tom pressed his paw against the trunk, glaring up into the treetops, daring the bushy little monster to come back down.

"You stupid furball," he hissed out through clenched jaws, the wind whipping his fur up into messy bunches. "Get your scrawny tail back down here!" He swiped his claws across the bark, before recoiling and hissing in pain. He inspected his paw, sending a disapproving glare at where one of his claws used to be. "Foxdung," he grumbled, dragging his rough tongue across his pad and inspected it again. Another thing for him to worry about. He'd just ask Jayfeather to look at it later, he decided. He paused as he swiped his tongue across it again. His brother had been very.. distant lately. Worry creased his face as he set his paw gingerly down and glared up at the treetops, sending all of his frustration in that simple amber glance. "I'll come back for you later, squirrel." Of course, the squirrel would probably be long gone by the time he returned, so why would he even bother? He shook his head, grumbling a bit as he sauntered off.

He glanced back only one or twice, as if expecting Tigerstar to suddenly bounce out and proclaim that he had gained control of the whole world. He blinked slowly at his surroundings, sighing to himself. It still seemed probable; he still couldn't relax even after they've won the battle against the Dark Forest. He sighed to himself, grumbling about how the squirrel must've been crossbred with a rabbit to have been running that fast, not allowing himself to acknowledge the fact that he had simply been slow today. "Crappy hunting again, brother?" the familiar call of his grey tabby kin caused the golden tom to whip his head up in alarm before smiling softly at the medicine cat as he sauntered over.

"Like always," Lionblaze agreed, grinning broadly as he sat down on his haunches, wrapping his long tail around his set of paws. "Seriously though, what in the name of StarClan have they been crossbred with? Rabbits?"

Jayfeather snickered at his brother's complains, falling onto his back with an 'oof!'. "We could change it, you know. Make them such lazy asses," Jayfeather meowed, snickering at his older brother's scowl. The invincible warrior fell back beside the medicine cat, watching silently as the squirrel hopped from the branches above repeatedly, taunting them with their chatter.

"But then where would be the fun in it?" his golden tabby kin complained, sighing in exasperation. Rolling his brilliant, clear blue eyes, the grey tabby rolled onto his side to face Lionblaze, a smirk on his face, but then seeming to think better of it when Lionblaze sighed and slithered forward so that the golden-pelted warrior was pressed against the medicine cat firmly. "Let's not do it today, Jayfeather. I just want to cuddle."

"Quit being such a wuss, Lionblaze," Jayfeather chided, but swept his tail around them anyways and wriggled closer, resting his head gently ontop of his brother's. He drank in the familiar battle-weary tom's scent. "Why don't you ever eh... do this with Cinderheart?"

"Because Cinderheart isn't you," Lionblaze meowed, startling Jayfeather slightly before he felt the grey tom nod on top of his head. "I'd very much prefer a grumpy tom cuddling with me than her. I don't know why. It's unusual, but I like it."

"Cuddling is for wusses," Jayfeather complained, his short tabby fur feeling unusual and very odd pressed against his brother's. "But if you like it, fine." He sighed, blowing softly on Lionblaze's ear causing him to wince and gasp softly before wriggling closer to the touch. "As long as you don't do it with her. Just us."

"She's my mate, Jayfeather," Lionblaze objected to his brother's constant complaints. "These sort of incestious relationships don't happen. That's why it's happening in a dream, for StarClan's sake. We're closer than any brothers should but dammit, how can something so wrong feel so right? But why am I blabbering? This is only a dream."

Every single word sent stakes through the medicine cat's heart, but he didn't dare mention it. This isn't a dream, dammit! I don't want this to be a dream! I can walk into dreams! You know that, Lionblaze. Dreams always reveal the darkest desires. So why in StarClan's name won't you accept that and stay with me? Jayfeather sighed again, dragging Lionblaze forcefully closer to himself, pain and longing etching into his heart. Dammit, I know this is a dream, you know this is a dream. But that doesn't make it any less real. I'm tired of being lonely; I'm tired of seeing her with you; I don't want the damn Warrior Code and other cats breathing down our damn necks! I want us to be together, Lionblaze! "Something's on your mind," Lionblaze's gruff voice shattered through Jayfeather's thoughts briefly. No shit, genius. Congratulations. You win a prize. "Want to talk about it?" StarClan, yes!

"No," Jayfeather meowed, contradicting himself, smiling and looking down thoughtfully at his kin. "I'm just thinking about us." Why not just tell him, Jayfeather? Are you being a wuss too? "...Thinking about Cinderheart too, I suppose."

"Great StarClan, your starting to sound like the real Jayfeather!" Lionblaze meowed, chuckling. No shit. "If he actually came here, I'd be so screwed. He'd never actually think of me the same way. Ever. That's kind of why I went with Cinderheart; she reminded me of Jayfeather. If only you were real, and all of this was real." It is, Lionblaze! Dammit, it's real! You just think it's not.. "But if he knew of my feelings for him, he'd probably claw my ears off. I wouldn't be surprised if he walking in here right now. He can do that." No, I wouldn't. Why can't you see that? I'm right here, this is real!"But that's why I dream of you. Jayfeather once said that dreams are of the darkest desires, right? Jayfeather's mine." A sigh. "But I can never tell him that."

"Why not?" the question escaped the sleek tom's mouth before he realized it before clasping his jaws shut.

"The Clan would shun us - me, probably," Lionblaze's response was automatic and a soft sadness had filled his voice. It was like he had been thinking it over, plenty of times.

"So you'd pick the Clan over me - augh, er, Jayfeather?"

No hesitation. "Yes." That single statement caused Jayfeather's heart to wrench painfully, causing a small gargle of pain to bubble up before he drowned it down, smiling in a grimace. "But that... is why these dreams happen, Jayfeather."

A tight, forced smile spreads across Jayfeather's vacant face, the pain hiding behind his closed eyes. "I see. I'll be sure to.. to let the real Jayfeather know. It's best you wake up now, it's morning. Can't be late for dawn patrol." Then, leaning forward, the grey tom raked his tongue across his brother's amber eye in affection, starting from his forehead down to just below his eye. Leaning back again and smiling ever so softly, Jayfeather blinked warmly at his kin, "So wake up." Then with a soft whisper of a breeze, Lionblaze was gone.

Jayfeather woke up with a start, his throat constricted -not from dehydration, he knew-, his claws digging into his nest. He fought the urge to cry out his distress before smoldering and killing that desire, sniffling ever so often as he drank in the air. Blinking, he observed the darkness that swarmed around him, and sighing a bit in distress. Another day he would have to deal with living without Lionblaze by his side, another day he'd have to endure, but endure it he would, for when nighttime came, he would enjoy the dreams. But that's all their relationship was, anyways. Just dreams, and shattered hopes.

Sighing again and grumbling as he shuffled out of the medicine cat den and pricking his paw on what could have been a thorn, he located each cat who found their way out of the dens. Grumbling, he sniffed the air and smelled the dew, realizing that dawn was only just around the corner. Blinking, he drank in the scent of the cats and located them by their thoughts.

"I better go off on my dawn patrol, Cinderheart."

That voice.

Those words.

That name.

Clenching his jaw, he began to march his way across the camp, intending to catch the golden tabby tom at the entrance, brushing aside a few stray stragglers, not bothering to mumble an apology. He stopped only a fox length away from his den before realizing what he was doing and stopped in his tracks and scowling, in his usual grumpy mood. "Lionblaze!" he roared, his anger spiking. Feeling his golden pelted brother's gaze fall on him, he hesitated, his anger smoothing until it was a small flame at the back of his mind, but his heart still beat to it's own rhythm. Dammit. Lionblaze did this to him every single damn time. His brother's attention was on him. It was now or never. Who knows? Maybe dreams do come true. "What if... what if those dreams were real. Who would you pick then?"

A jagged intake of breath.

A hesitation.

Jayfeather could feel the tension radiating off of his brother.

He could already feel the rejection.

"I would pick..."

Here it comes.

"You."

And then Jayfeather smiled.