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How to Live with Introverts (PDF available!)
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Published: 2012-03-20 04:06:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 1232859; Favourites: 14557; Downloads: 6322
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I thought a lot of folks out there could benefit from learning how to with introverted people.I drove my ex crazy by being introverted. He thought that I was being "distant" and "purposely ignoring him as part of a passive-aggressive power play". Here I was just enjoying his company without talking.
German translation: at-msupload.deviantart.com/art…
Chinese translation: www.guokr.com/post/411816/
Polish translation: imageshack.us/a/img827/110/int…
Print for sale: romanjones.deviantart.com/art/…
BUY THE PDF BOOK!!! Guide to Understanding Introversion: THE BOOK!
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Comments: 3174
Yup, that sounds about right. Everyone around me thinks introvert just means antisocial.
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I'm an introvert myself XD
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I've never understood what introverts are,
now i get it a little more!
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I'm glad to have helped!
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I came here from "The Biggest Problem In The Universe."
I can't say I'm disappointed.
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I'm glad! Happy you like it!
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Me and my friends, Maddy and Jacky, were having fun with this trying to figure out which we were, introverts or extroverts. Me and Jacky ended up being a bit of both seeing as we don't care for being around other people so much but we feed off other peoples energy. Maddy ended up being a near full introvert. Me and Jacky were having fun with that sucking her energy away though hugs and squishes(I ended up with a head ache later). With this a picture appeared in my mind of Maddy in a solid ball and me and Jacky in kind of holy balls squishing her ball. Shortly after the mental image became a real picture and then became a role play between the three of us. It became our Guide to Understanding Invading an Introvert('s Personal Space).
Sorry for the epicly long message I just felt like telling you my Randomocity.
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I don't know if I'm introverted or extroverted.. maybe a bit of both? o-o
I LOVE being around people, and I get sad for a while when I have to leave a group of people. Sounds extroverted?
Well I'm usually not outgoing around these people at all.. in fact I'm one of the shyest people I have ever seen in my whole life. I NEVER talk unless spoken to. (but I love talking when I am spoken too!) Sounds introverted?
Another thing... despite being rediculously quiet and reserved, I have intense desires to befriend everybody I spend even a little bit of time with and I want to be really energetic and outgoing (but I don't because I'm too shy) Sounds extroverted?
However... I much prefer the idea of being really good friends with a small number of people rather than being okay friends with a huge number of people... Sounds introverted?
Extroverted, introverted, extroverted, introverted... o_o
The only time I don't actually want to be around people is when I'm super busy with a project that's sucking away all of my attention span, in which case it's just because I'm busy. That or the people are mean... but I seriously like almost anybody!
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That sounds familiar. Could be you are an INFJ or an INFP type. It's Myers-Briggs type evaluator, a psychology tool. You could use it to self assess, or take the test if you like. There are several types that can experience Introversion at some times, and extroversion at others; usually one of these are dominant, and in you it seems to be the Introverted Function that is dominant based on how I read what you said. Please do note that I am not a trained psychologist; this is publicly available information that I have interpreted myself. The links I provide below contain my source materials. These contain information on more than just Introversion versus Extraversion, and could help you understand a little better how you can seem to be both - assuming you don't already know by now, as your post was last year.
As an INFJ myself, I can tell you that despite being very introverted, people who do not know me well believe me to be an extrovert. I talk animatedly when a conversation interests me, and I am expressive and speak with my hands at all times. For some reason, people find me very approachable. Because so many people want to interact with me and I am so friendly as an introvert, I find myself riding the edge of my comfort zone fairly regularly, and have to shut people out for a while. My close friends understand this by now, but other friends can be hurt or confused when I do this. I usually have to explain, and the type indicator has been a great tool for that.
Here, some links. perhaps this can help you. 16personalities goes in depth in the practical applications of the types, focusing on general traits, relationships (friendly and romantic), and work/careers.
Link to the test on 16personalities:
16personalities.com/free-personality-test
The Personality Portraits site is more focused and concise, and also offers a bit of the science of the psychology behind. I recommend checking out both, but
Link to the list of types on Personality Portraits:
personalitypage.com/html/portraits.html
Both links are incomplete and need Http://www added to the front because Deviant Art thinks my post is spam if I put in complete links.
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If you are wondering if you are an introvert or extrovert (and no offence to RomanJones but there was something that was not mentioned) there is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert. We like to put people into categories to try to figure each other out- if their shy or out going. But their are different degrees of these categories, two people can be introverts but one could be an extreme introvert and the other can be a slight introvert; and I can say this because I am a border line extreme introvert.
Also it is possible to change the degree and it is possible to switch between introvert and extrovert; people can change, without a traumatic event in there life. There are people that can be called introverts but talk to huge crowds of people for a living. In short form one or two matching/conflicting characteristics do not define a persons character.
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Thank you for the explaination!!
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No problem, I'm glad I did not ramble and you liked what I said.
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This is beautiful piece of work you have made and explains introverts (me) very accurately. Thank you for this!
Now for me to never show this to others..
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You're welcome! And thank you!!
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Thank you!
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Yes! This has helped me and my boyfriend understand each other that one step further.
Me = Extrovert
Him = Introvert
So that you!
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What I love...is that I now know I'm not one of a few. There are so many amazing introverts out there ^.^ This comic is amazingly acurate and...just amazing! To see people and knowing their introverts is BEAUTIFUL! xD
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Hahahaha... nailed it to a T!
I'm sharing this ...
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To be exact, it is not up to person themselves to determine whatever or not their silent should be taken as an insult. Good intentions doesn't cover everything.
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Kant would strongly disagree, especially with that last sentence.
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The only thing we always know better than others is the exact magnitude of our feelings at any given moment. We still need to actually figure out its meaning and origins, just like any outsider (i.e. anyone who isn't you) would. This is because humans did not create themselves; the rules are already set, we can only choose our playstyle.
If good intentions covered everything, then I suppose one could say the most offensive shit imagineable after "No offence, but..." and get way with it. We all know that is not true.
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Legal institutions to a large degree are founded upon Kantarian principles, though, so that makes this quite funny. But then again, even the state agrees you shouldn't help a robber though it holds truth as an absolute.
"Rules are already set" - which rules? There isn't any reason to believe at all that there is a certain set of "rules" to life. Quite the contrary. I hope you're not trying to explain the world with religion just now and I am just misunderstanding the implication of that phrase.
Actually, more often than not people are unaware of underlying emotions. It's part of the reason why their own subconscious is near impossible for someone to figure out.
In other words: never ever are we truly aware of our emotions, their sources and meanings.
Also, for a very good reason one says that offence is taken, not given. Everyone defines offence differently, making it completely impossible to create a rudimentary guideline of what is offensive and what isn't. What may be "the most offensive shit imagineable" to someone doesn't even brush against someone else. Imagine two people singing and you tell them they suck at it. Who knows if they are aware of this and just sing for the heck of it, if they're learning or not.
Implying someone is deliberately offensive is half a travesty. Unless you have a very good reason to believe it (e.g. the person is well aware you take offence to that kind of statement). It basically is the difference between deduction and induction.
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I'm an introvert that works in retail. Not sure how that happened but there you go.
I used to get what I can only really describe as anxiety attacks back when I worked on checkouts and I could never properly articulate why I got them when I was younger. The best way I could put it was that I was afraid of crowds; too many people making me feel claustrophobic. That was never quite right as although I was interacting with a lot of people, it was spread out over several hours. Your comic is probably the best explanation of what I was going through: too many people breaching my hamster ball and making off with my energy. So thanks for that.
Luckily I work on a quieter department now so I don't have my "attacks" any more but the comic still remains an apt description.
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If you're still in retail while Black Friday is goin on, you're gonna have a bad time (unless you take a sick day)
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Nah, I live in England and work in a supermarket on the deli counter. The rush isn't quite the same. It'll get hectic Christmas week when everyone wants their party nibbles but I should avoid most of the Black Friday rush.
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Ahh... Sorry, in the US when people say "retail" we usually think "clothes department" or something in that general area. ^^"
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No worries, it's an easy mistake to make. Retail basically just means "selling stuff" after all.
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with this comic... I found out that I am an introverted person...
I HATE parties...
I LOVE having my alone time...
I LOVE it when I'm alone at home...
I LOVE doing my own art.
I also tend to get very sweaty when among other people...
I do like going out into the cities...
I do like shopping for things like video games and art supplies...
and music shops...
and I loved Manchester MCM.
but most of the time I just spend walking about wanting to buy stuff...
not much social stuff going on there...
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You are probably just a person who "hates" socializing with people you don't know, and that's perfectly ok
The fact that you love doing your own art, having no problem going to the city ect. speaks more for a completely healthy mindset of booth, intro- and extroverted features.
While there is no such thing as a TRUE introvert or a TRUE extrovert, because this is highly situational, you might lean more towards a perceiving than acting character.
It's not rare that people mix these with intro- or extroverted. One is a shifting state your brain is in, the other is something that defines you as a person.
From the way you wrote, it seems you are not very happy with your current character. I hope I'm misinterpreting things. Otherwise, I hope you won't stress yourself about stupid definitions like intro- or extrovert.
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I don't HATE socializing with people I don't know...
I find it intimidating. I get sick, and sweaty...
(though I don't mind it if people watch me draw)
it's the primary reason I can't voice chat to people I want to chat to over Skype.
I stammer a lot... prefer writing over talking.
I hate parties because
1. loud music... can't hear my voice cuz it's so loud.
2. they're BORING!! I hate dancing, so all I do at parties is sit in a corner and draw.
3. I burn out a lot faster than others... even when I'm not dancing.
plus the fact that I get anxious around people I don't know...
though I don't mind traditional Irish music sessions with my family...
prfer a small group than big parties.
I like big cities because there are many things you can do...
and the big music shop in Dublin.... ah...
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No offence intended, but i'm tired of this misinterpretation of the terms intro- and extrovert and labels in general...
See, the thing is, from a psychological standpoint, there really really really is no such thing as a true intro or extrovert.
But let me explain.
How you react to something, is highly situational. You think you have a fixed character, but really it is more fluctuating than you would think. Be it with friends, at work, in different social situations, you have a different characteristics.
There are hundreds and thousands of psychological studies, with millions of different character-types to "choose from". Being introverted is a mental state you set yourself in when reading, studying, watching a movie, writing and so on, its also called self reflection, and every human being should be capable of it (unlike some who aren't, and they need help). And you act extroverted during interaction with others, team sports, collaborative effort, speaking and even while creating art! Booth sides are wonderful to have. You might tend to lean more towards one side, and consider yourself to be an introvert, but that's more like your most used character, not a permanent.
Funny thing is, you can even measure this trough brainwaves. Your brain produces brainwaves or to use a more professional term, neural oscillation. It reaches from 1 - 70Hz and is linked directly to your consciousness. There are delta (1-4Hz), theta (4-8Hz), beta (13-30Hz) and gamma (30-70Hz) frequencies. Most of these frequencies are active together. Your brain most likely will right now produce low beta, high theta and low delta waves, unlike you are about to sleep (hopefully not because you are bored by my comment) then it's more composed of delta and theta waves and nearly non by beta. The more alerted you are, the more the composition is dominated by gamma (That's not entirely true, but to be honest, I could write a novel about this 
Let's step aside from the fact that your character is not fixed. There is this believe, that only introverts have this system where they spend energy in social situations, and fill them back up when they are alone for themselves.
This is particularly true, but it is this way in every human being. Not only just humans, but with primates and more intelligent mammals too. Everyone gets tired and drained at some point, and while it looks like some people get energy from going to parties, it's not bound to being extrovert. They do something they like, and therefore get a push. If socializing is what you need to get going on, then you are in fact more tending to act extrovert more often, but in reality, even these people get most of their energy by resting. Even the most extrovert archetype has to be alone for some time to feel good, and in an opposite, even the most introvert person needs social contact once in a while. And this socializing is not draining energy because you are introvert, it's draining energy because you generally don't like socializing that much.
I love socializing and feel rejuvenated afterwards, but talking in front of huge groups drains me because I don't like it. I love reading and get energy by doing so, but I hate reading blogs, because I consider most of them plain boring, and it drains me therefore.
While I appreciate this artist and his efforts, it is unique to him. That's just how one person works, not every "introvert". I would consider myself to be more often intro, than extroverted, but I'm also a functioning human being, and generally do not hiss at others for no good reason
This is a big part of my studies, and I hope I could interest some of you in it.
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Very interesting. However, instead of saying this person is a more-or-less-calm-anti-social-person-who-enjoys-their-own-time, it is easier to say introvert, yes? I am what is considered an introvert - and we all know that we're not 100% one or the other. I do not enjoy stranger's company, but I do actually have friends (whom I usually enjoy to be around) and everyone here is the same. It's just...nice...not to be called anti-this and anti-that, ya know? Being called an introvert just seems more positive. But I digress. I learnt something, but I think that the artist's definition is someone who leans, more or less, towards an introverted state is an introvert.
As for the energy, I thought that was what he meant, since I'm anti-social and pretty much feel dead after talking to random people (in real life, not online which is kinda strange but a conversation for another day ^.^). I could rant on FOREVER about this, because I am very passionate about this subject.
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You are completely right.
This is more meant towards people who consider others extro/introvert for the wrong reasons.
I'm always called an extrovert because I love talking and lecturing people in a very energetic manner.
Which, of course, is a something not everyone can stand. But what they don't see is that I'm completely calm on the inside 99% of the time.
I'm completely in the middle of things, but others always consider this extrovert.
This wouldn't be all that bad, but it brings up some very annoying stereotypes.
And that's what I think is wrong. They define extroverts as "not as intelligent" and "annoying" while introverts are "antisocial" or "losers".
This comes from booth sides. Introverts, talking down to extroverts because they think they are much more intelligent and classy, and extroverts thinking they are much cooler because they have more friends and go to party's more often.
But this are not skills that fall intro the spectrum of an introvert vs. extrovert debate. In reality, these are archetypes defined by a group of people, not knowing that they identify so much with a term, that they just favor opinions from others that fall into their archetype, and devalue the ones from their counterpart. And that's not how defining a character works. In fact, it's so complicated you would have to study biology, neuroscience, psychology and a lot of other things to just have a marginal understanding of the complexity of the human character.
Sorry for talking so deep into this, but it's a subject that I really love, and as that, I nearly value it to a philosophic point.
Like I said, you are completely right, but what I wrote was not targeted against anyone in person, just a little rable
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A funny fact: music and overall radio waves affect brain the way it balances out intro and extrovert of what I heard...
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You're right. Every stimuli you get can potentially shift your brainwaves. With music, it's pretty strong because you passively enhance the effects by letting your sensory input, what you hear, slip to an emotional state to perceive. It is unclear even for neuro-scientists how this process works.
With binaural beats, for example, you can actively tune the spectrum of brainwaves produced. No as much as most esoteric people claim it to be, but it works.
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I have read this entire comment and I must say I enjoyed what you said, screw that fact that it is long , I actually learned something out of it!
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This is very nice. People like you really make me want to write a book about it 
Thanks.
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you're welcome!
I like to thrive in anything educational or in things that broaden my knowledge about the world and the people... You could even say I live solely for the purpose of learning
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I will not say the world needs more people like you,
but it definitely needs more people with this kind of mindset!
You would surely make a perfect teacher!
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XD If I had to send this out to every body I greatly dislike and disturbs me, that would be a lot to send out.
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The way you explained how to live with introverts is just amazing.
I'm an introvert too.
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I used to be truly introverted, and while I still need to leave social situations after a while since I get so tired, it has gotten to the point where I am forced to be more extrovert in my behavior to survive living with my house hold >.> it sucks big time.
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