HOME | DD
CAPTAIN-CAPSLOCK-PHD —
How to Live with Introverts (PDF available!)
by-nc-nd
Published: 2012-03-20 04:06:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 1232873; Favourites: 14557; Downloads: 6322
Redirect to original
Description
I thought a lot of folks out there could benefit from learning how to with introverted people.I drove my ex crazy by being introverted. He thought that I was being "distant" and "purposely ignoring him as part of a passive-aggressive power play". Here I was just enjoying his company without talking.
German translation: at-msupload.deviantart.com/art…
Chinese translation: www.guokr.com/post/411816/
Polish translation: imageshack.us/a/img827/110/int…
Print for sale: romanjones.deviantart.com/art/…
BUY THE PDF BOOK!!! Guide to Understanding Introversion: THE BOOK!
Related content
Comments: 3174
"...they tend to see extroverts as obnoxious predators out to steal their sweet, sweet juices." LOL
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
With 121 pages of comments, I don't think I could say anything that hasn't already been said. But having said that... this introvert thanks you for your eloquence.
Thank you for drawing, and take care!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I am introverted, but I love sharing my energy. So when i burn out i burn out BAD and need like a week of recovery.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
this is so me.
(Not to mention that I'm INTJ)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh really? I am an INTP and I have yet to meet an INTJ!
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
I am one (INTJ) as well. I discovered this recently. Myers-Briggs revealed quite a bit to me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Heheh... Yep! Intjs value knowledge, and are one of the rarest personailites, especially in women. Men make up 1.2% of the population and women make up .8% so I guess that means you found a rare personality, congrats! XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
that's awesome!! INTP's make up about 3% of the population
so it's a rare gem meeting another rare gem!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
This is beyond true. If only everyone understood what being introverted meant, our lives would be so much easier.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I'm an Introvert and though I technically have many friends, I only have real relationships with a few of them.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Yeeeeeeeeeeeessss. I need to get this printed into pamphlets to hand out to people so they don't think I'm just being shy.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
my best friend is an extrovert and im an introvert, so all i need is her!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Aww.. Too cute hehe
I'm not introverted, then, I don't know how they are xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Aw, that's cute!
(And so totally true)
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
for people who can recognize themselves in this, great, i really hope this is a way for you actual introverts to explain yourselves to others.
For me personally, i can get energy from both social good vibes AND reading a book, whilst really annoying company as well as personal work can drain me completely empty.
I really don't think i fit in either group, (being the odd duck, again xD)
As for the artist who made this, great stuff, this can hopefully explain a lot to people who have a difficult time understanding introverts.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
All this tells me is, "treat these people special."
I'm an aggressive introvert, meaning that, if someone tries to interact with me, and I don't want to interact with them, I'll either tell them to shut up or ignore them completely.
I don't expect people to treat me with pity or look at me like I'm some kind of alien.
I want to be treated equally.
This helps no one.
It just puts introverts on a pedestal.
Make one for extroverts and balance your bias, please.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Nah, I'm mostly an introverted person and I agree with you. This is really kinda like giving me the message that people should just like...acknowledge us but don't talk otherwise you 'exhaust' us. It's kinda silly imo. But maybe I'm not the best person to talk to since I'm a bit of both.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Indeed, I'm the exact same way, (mostly introverted, but a little both, depending on the time and/or place, but for the record, I doubt that ANYONE is 100% "don't talk to me, I'm introverted" all the time). It's like saying, "Hey, you should give me sympathy over the way I am, despite the fact that there's nothing wrong with me." or something. That basically translates to "treat me special."
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh yeah. definitely. I mean, don't get me wrong. I've met some way over the top extroverts and they DO wear people out - even other extroverts. But that doesn't mean that extroverts or even those in the middle have to accommodate introverts - we're all people.
I think a few minutes of conversation (or lack thereof) will let us know how we should act/speak with someone, rather than have to take advice from some guide treating introverts as a special kind of folk. It's called adaptability and social skills - people need to know them.
while I see that maybe this guide was made for others to understand why extreme-introverts might react the way they do in what others think as a normal social setting, it came off as a bit presumptuous and honestly, I think it just does introverts a disservice - not to mention sort of chiding extroverts for just being who they are. If introverts can be introverts, then extroverts and can be extroverts.
if anything - we need these sorts of things on how to talk with/live with people with mental disorders or inhibitions, not freakin' personality traits.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
THANK YOU.
I swear, some introverts have got to be the most selfish people on the planet when it comes to this...
They think their personality trait needs to be treated like a disorder or something...
It's kind of sickening.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
No where does it say to treat people like us special. I have no idea where you're getting that unless you're looking to be offended.
Its literally just explaining to people who don't understand what makes us different from extroverts, what makes us different from extrovert, and to respect that.
Nowhere does it say pity us. Nowhere does it put us on a pedestal.
It is breaking the typical introvert mindset down to as simple as possible term as it can, so people can understand it and back off instead of try to demand stuff from us that we can't give.
It's just breaking things down nice and simple and digestible, and then saying; Hey, you know that respect thing? That thing where you actually pay attention to how people might be feeling? Yeah, make use of that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
So you're saying all extroverts are disrespectful jerks? That's basically what I just read.
This little guide doesn't explain anything that no one already knows.
If introverts want to act like jerks to extroverts who are just being themselves, the two people obviously aren't compatible for friendship, and it shouldn't be pursued.
You can't expect extroverts to accept introverts for who they are, yet turn around and tell extroverts to act a different way just to make introverts feel better.
It's a double-standard, and it's disrespectful.
👍: 0 ⏩: 3
It isn't that extroverts are disrespectful jerks, it is in the way they interact with other people. What this is saying is that extroverts are bubbly and very social. Being social drives them. It's a natural instinct of the extrovert to seek out people and interact with them; share their life, share their space, strive to keep interactions going. Meanwhile, introverts become exhausted if pushed for too long and too far into social interaction.
If you don't understand how the introvert likewise bends to meet the extrovert halfway, put it this way. An extrovert is more likely to start a conversation first, however, they should be friendly without pushing too far right away to get a feel of who they're talking to. A fellow extrovert will jump on the chance to interact and they can keep going, feeding off each other. An introvert, however, doesn't jump at the chance for social interaction, and while they don't mind some, they prefer to minimize the amount. If an extrovert can hold back slightly, allowing for an introvert to become comfortable, the introvert will likewise then reach out. In this way, neither party is required to go all the way. The extrovert doesn't have to push their natural bubbliness down completely, or even for a long time. The introvert doesn't have to expend all of their energy trying to keep up with one person. It's very give and take.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah, I understand the point it's making. My problem is that it's mean.
It clearly says introverts see extroverts as obnoxious energy-suckers. But introverts also need to understand that they're seen as stuck-up loners who hate everybody. Don't make one side look bad without fairly accusing the other for an equal and opposite offense.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The thing is that I don't think you understand at all. Not all introverts see extroverts as energy-suckers, and it is basically what makes them an extrovert in the first place. An introvert is not a stuck up loner who hates everyone. There are many introverts that interact quite fine with people, spend entire days around people. What makes them introverted is that they get exhausted instead of pumped up from doing so. Being a loner is fine too, though not every introvert is a loner, and it certainly doesn't make them stuck up. As for hating everyone, perhaps they've run into you too many times and lost all faith in humanity. You can't possibly know who everyone hates or doesn't hate.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I never said extroverts are disrespectful, or jerks. Seriously where are you pulling that from?
People as a whole forget that other people have boundaries and bubbles. Its not an extrovert thing, its a human thing.
This guide is not only aimed at extroverts, its aimed at anyone who does not understand how our base-most broken-down-to-the-absolute-bare-bones mindset works. That might be extroverts, other introverts, or people straddling the line between the two.
If an introvert reacts poorly to someone else invading their bubble/hamster ball/personal space, whatever term you want to use, that's not them being a jerk, that's them reacting to a perceived threat. Similarly if an extrovert reacts poorly to someone doing something that is a perceived threat, they have the right to respond poorly. It becomes an issue only when one side knows what the boundary is and crosses it anyways- introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between. In that case, you would be correct in that the friendship is not worth pursuing.
Course, you're probably going to find a way to completely over-analyze and misconstrue what I just typed sooo I'm just gonna end this here. Hope you have bountiful friendships with people who respect you, and that you never have to deal with jerks of any sort who may invade your personal boundaries, whatever they may be.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
My whole thing is that it's one-sided and unfair. It clearly says that introverts see extroverts as obnoxious energy-suckers, which is extremely rude. It makes extroverts not want to attempt to even be nice to introverts, lest they get hissed at.
This whole comic is mean unless you can relate to it.
But thanks for your kind wishes. I wish the same for you and hope that you, as a self-proclaimed introvert, are more accepting of people than what this comic implies.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
lol, typical tumblr user getting offended and overanalyzing, yet again...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Actually not a member of Tumblr.
Your comment just lost its meaning.
Not only that, but this whole guide is just an introvert being offended by and overanalyzing the behavior of extroverts, so what's the difference?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
This comic was saying nothing about treating introverts with pity. It was just saying you can't force interaction with them or they'll just get more withdrawn and probably resent the effort. The best way to interact is to ease into it instead of jumping into it. There was no mention of pity or a pedestal of any kind. Nobody said extroverts are jerks either. Most extroverts just don't understand how introverts gain and use energy, and this comic is just a way to explain it.
You are acting like a tumblr user, freaking out over something that doesn't really matter. Calm down and go find something better to do.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The point is that it's one-sided and clearly says that introverts think extroverts are obnoxious energy-suckers. That's very rude.
It's the same as an extrovert calling an introvert a stuck-up loner.
👍: 0 ⏩: 3
Oh my god, I'm so sorry you're getting so much grief from all these special snowflakes and white-knights 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lmao, it's not actually bothering me. It's just making them look ignorant. xD
And it's ironic that I'm not even a member of Tumblr, lol.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Does the word "tend" mean anything to you? In case not
Tend(v.): regularly or frequently behave in a particular way or have a certain characteristic.
meaning it usually happens. (Which I will admit as an introvert I do view extroverts as annoying when I'm in a bad mood.) Seems you though, you view everyone in a bad light.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Defining a word doesn't help interpretation, but okay.
Just remember that, while you're looking at extroverts as annoying, they're looking at you like you think you're too good for everybody.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
It's one-sided because it's not about how to interact with an extrovert. It's a message to extroverts about how introverts would like to be interacted with. Extroverts already know how to interact with extroverts. Introverts just don't want interaction forced on them. Most of the time, extroverts don't even realize they're forcing anything on them. It's innocent.
It doesn't "clearly" say anything like that. You're just jumping to a conclusion. It's a comic, I'm pretty sure everyone knows an introvert isn't going to hiss when approached. It accentuates the best method to interact with an introvert. After that, extroverts can stand to be a little less of an "obnoxious energy-sucker" and introverts can stand to be a little less of a "stuck-up loner." Meet half-way.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Because you can definitely tell whether someone is an introvert or an extrovert just by looking at them, right?
The only solution would be to treat EVERYONE this way, which is catering to introverts and making extroverts walk on eggshells until they figure out which one a new person is.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
There was never any mention of trying to judge whether they're an introvert or extrovert by looking at them. It's about how people act. If you can tell, you should try to be considerate and act appropriately.
Did you even pay attention to what I said? I said meet half-way. That way, neither is forced to change themselves too much for the convenience of others, yet they still do have to be considerate to how the other person acts. Both of them compromise, not just one, both. Besides, most people are extroverts, so introverts are generally the ones who have to cater to extroverts. But, like I said, nobody should have to cater to anybody.
You are just looking for a reason to be offended. That's all you are doing here.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I don't see any way the introverts are having to compromise, but okay. The thing says they'll come out on their own, and not to try to please anybody but themselves.
Introverts have got to be the most selfish people on the planet...
And for the record, this whole comic is just somebody taking offense to how extroverts act, thank you very much.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It isn't explained in this comic. In an extrovert-dominated world, introverts have to do things they aren't comfortable with to succeed in life. Some introverts have a hard time even going to the store because they don't want to talk to people they don't know. I'm not saying they should be catered to and be able to stay home all the time so they don't have to talk to anyone. They have to get over it and go socialize every now and then. Wouldn't it just be fair if extroverts could return the favor every now and then and understand socializing is exhausting? They don't have to ignore introverts and let them be alone in the corner at a party. All they should do is not expect introverts to jump into interaction as easily as them. That is it. The two can still interact and have a good time at a party. You don't have to wait for introverts to come out on their own, they're just not as likely to start a conversation.
Now you're labeling. Introverts as a whole are not selfish. There are some selfish people, introvert and extrovert alike. Neither is better than the other or worse than the other. By talking this way, you are the one putting extroverts on a pedestal. You're basically saying they should not be considerate to introverts in the slightest. No, both sides should be considerate and understand(emphasis on 'understand' and not on 'cater', which is the opposite of what I'm saying) how the other prefers to interact. You're stuck on ridiculous absolutes.
It really is not. You just view it that way because you are looking to take offense. This comic was made by somebody thinking, very literally, "I drove my ex crazy by being introverted. He thought that I was being "distant" and "purposely ignoring him as part of a passive-aggressive power play. Here I was just enjoying his company without talking. I thought a lot of folks out there could benefit from learning how to live with introverted people."
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Now you're just sounding ignorant.
You're making it off like extroverts just don't understand how introverts are, that they dominate the world, and that they try to force everybody into socializing.
Not the case at all.
Extroverts look at introverts when they're quiet and say something like, "Hey, you okay? You're being awful quiet." because they're concerned about how they feel.
They don't want introverts standing around being scared or bored or whatever they might be feeling. Extroverts are generally very nice, caring people, which is why they socialize.
This comic probably needs to specify that this is for dealing with introverts that you already know, (and hopefully care about), and not for dealing with complete strangers.
That makes more sense, now that I think about it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hardly. The majority of people are extroverts, so I'm not speaking out of ignorance here. I have emphasized "understand" multiple times and you keep translating that into "cater" or "force." No, extroverts just need to understand introverts, but introverts also need to understand extroverts so there can be a balance. Now many times to I have to say this? They both need to be considerate to the other. It's not that difficult to understand.
Now you are sounding ignorant. It's great that extroverts want to make introverts feel like they belong, but misunderstanding why they are being quiet is a result of, big shocker, not understanding. So it comes back to the fact that this comic is meant to outline how to understand basic introvert tendencies. You sort of just proved my point.
Introverts are generally nice, caring people once you get to know them. People as a whole are generally nice and caring. It's not extroverts alone that are that way. There are also extroverts that are jerks; there are also introverts that are jerks; in general, there are people that are jerks and that is not necessarily determined by introversion or extroversion. Extroverts don't socialize because they are nice and caring, they socialize because that's what they like to do. They like being with people and talking. You keep glorifying extroverts as if they're the epitome of human goodness and shouldn't have to adjust themselves to be considerate to introverts. Not the case at all. Again, both introverts and extroverts need to understand each other and adjust themselves.
Maybe if you would read the artist's comments, you would have understood that already. The title also said how to live with introverts. I would have thought that kind of implies living with people you know.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Meanwhile, you're over there making it sound like extroverts are the most oppressive people on the planet, by extension glorifying introverts. You never mentioned how introverts should adjust themselves, just that they'll do it when they want if they feel comfortable.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You obviously have not understood a single thing I told you. I never said extroverts were oppressive, I never even implied it. I did not glorify introverts, not once. I clearly emphasized that both can be jerks and both can be good. Introversion/extroversion does not determine whether somebody is a good person or is a jerk. I said both need to understand each other. I have said multiple times both introverts and extroverts need to adjust themselves so there can be balance. Neither needs to drastically change, but both need to adjust. How many times do I need to repeat the same thing to you?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Then you're basically just agreeing with the first thing I said.
All I ever said was that this comic is one-sided and there needs to be one made for extroverts.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You said way more than just "the comic is one-sided and there should be another." Problem with your argument, you said the comic was putting introverts on a pedestal and saying to treat them special when it says no such thing. It does not say to look at introverts with pity of any sort, just to understand and be considerate. This comic is only a way to help understand introverts. It is not a 100% accurate representation of all introverts. Some introverts are outgoing and some extroverts can be shy around new people. Personality is far more complex that you seem to believe. Also, by the way you've commented, I'm getting the impression you don't think extroverts are emotionally strong enough to handle the idea that some people mind think they are energy-suckers. They can handle the revelation that not everyone will like them.
You can't just demand a comic for extroverts, it's not your place. That is for the artist to decide and the artist only. Besides, I feel it would be biased for this artist to make a comic about living with extroverts since this comic was made primarily for extroverts from an introvert point of view. Being able to switch the point of view from introvert to extrovert and make a comic of a similar nature isn't very feasible. So if you want a comic from the opposite point of view, look one up elsewhere.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Arguing that the issue is personality-based just means there is no need for a guide like this in the first place. I'm saying that it's a biased generalization that takes sides and makes one side look like better people than the other. And when you say extroverts can handle that revelation, the fact that you defend this comic supports the idea that you believe introverts cannot; that they are not emotionally strong enough to handle the idea that people don't like them because they act stuck up. You're contradicting yourself telling me it's not a pity issue for that reason.
And it's not your place to sit and tell me my opinion is wrong.
And, for the record, a comic for extroverts SHOULDN'T be biased from an introverted perspective because the idea is to teach understanding, is it not? Well, if the artist wants people to understand her, yet she, in turn, can't understand the other side, this comic is a great big pile of hypocrisy.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
<= Prev | | Next =>