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CatNCobra — Forever in an Hourglass
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Published: 2010-07-08 08:24:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 4518; Favourites: 19; Downloads: 115
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Description
Forever in an HourglassBy: CatNCobra
Forever in an hourglass,
Through which time slips so quick.
Inspired for this little rhyme,
By man kinds unreal magic trick.
Time is an illusion,
As is all measurement.
Not a single truth to find,
Though we treasure it.
We waste and wish for more,
That which is not real.
Why does it control us so,
The thing we can not feel.
“We have as long as you want”,
Said to me a bright young girl.
“Forever in an hourglass,
Let’s watch the sand storm whirl.”
-We have as long as you want,
Forever in an hourglass.
Poem written and illustration edited by me [link]
Original image [link] used for the illustration created by [link]
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Comments: 20
I absolutely love the poem, very inspiring!! I also loved the use of the abstract hourglass design. However i found the font distracting to the whole experience, even though it was a very appropriated design to accompany the illustration. Overall i really enjoyed this piece, nice work
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While the subject/theme of your poem is good, it seems a little over-written, over-stylized, and over-thought. Perhaps, it's just a difference in aesthetic perspectives, but in my opinion, the poem's language is compromised because you are trying to say too much in too little space. The phrasing seems forced in order to fit the rhyme scheme, and that is never pleasant for the average reader to wade through.
The final two stanzas are the exception to this criticism, however, and in their simplicity, they prove more powerful than the rest of the piece combined. I love your word choices there, and the rhyme is clever.
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Though I cant agree with most of what you said (I honestly dont agree, its not just taking it too personal or being upset) I still appreciate the criticism.
thank you for your input
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great work! For some reason, it reminded me of Alice in Wonderland..
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haha I can see that now that you said something. dosent have anything to do with that though
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a beautiful piece, i love the image you used with it, the calligraphy makes it perfect
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where appropriate, illustration can make a huge impact on literature. other times, the lack of complimenting visual aids has the same effect.
in this case, I have had this hourglass piece in my favorites since I joined DA. It just felt fitting.
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Wow. This is great - I love the concept, and you've created a very beautiful piece.
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thank you very much. I wrote this sometime last summer after a conversation with a very close friend. was rather spontaneous and took very little time. was just one that flew out of me as fast as I could type.
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