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causticgit — Untitled, PoetRehab Submission
Published: 2004-08-10 17:49:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 171; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 4
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Description The even tock, tock, tock, of the metronome,
Echoing in the empty concert hall.
Muffled against carpet and seat cushions.
I grasp the pegbox of my cello,
Wishing for the noise of the falling snow outside.

It’s muted in the parking lot, before anyone’s come.
Snow is drifting steadily down, sinking into the tarmac.
Can only dogs and hibernating crickets hear it?
The crystal clink, clink, chime of falling snow?
Only I hear the metronome, loud to my ear alone.

A bird shakes herself free of ice I cannot hear.
There is too much distance between us.
And so thinks my music teacher, seated in back:
Is that stupid girl not tuning yet?
The bird outside is too cold to sing.

The cello is heavy against my palms,
But the theater is pristine with new-fallen snow.
I cannot break it any more than the metronome or the bird.
My teacher glares with the power of my first guest’s headlights,
Slice, rumble, pollute, cutting through the snow.

My strings sing.

8/10/04
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Comments: 6

omgitshannah [2004-12-06 23:19:00 +0000 UTC]

Ah! Cello! Very nice, I love the imagery and of course, the use of a cello over say, a stinky screaming violin. Moving on. I love the description of the snow and the meanings you use. Lovely work, and you deserve to win the contest for this!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

causticgit In reply to omgitshannah [2004-12-08 22:56:22 +0000 UTC]

XD I don't like violins much. Probably from years of listening to our ambitious orchestra teacher put them through hell starting in fourth grade all the way on up.

Alas, I did not win.

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fullonemptiness [2004-08-11 07:20:19 +0000 UTC]

the visuals are indeed inspired, the use of words is punchy and effective, and the finalé is purrfection.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

causticgit In reply to fullonemptiness [2004-08-11 15:46:31 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Somasenja [2004-08-10 23:47:42 +0000 UTC]

Great images!! *ENNNVYYYYYY*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

causticgit In reply to Somasenja [2004-08-11 00:45:36 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!!! ^___^

Now, why have you been neglecting Damn Pens? *scolds and knows we all have lives*

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