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chugglepuff β Homecoming
Published: 2008-03-31 23:05:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 826; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 12
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Description
Coming back to an empty home,No friendly cat or garden gnome,
No happy dog or loving spouse;
Just me and a lonely, empty house.
I heaved a sigh in the empty hall
And gazed at every empty wall,
The empty floors, the empty bed,
An empty heart and an empty head.
I'll find no pleasure or comfort there,
With the rooms unfurnished and cupboards bare,
A big empty nothing and nothing more;
I knew Iβd forgotten to lock the door.
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Comments: 39
i felt the same when i moved to my new home...... 
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Its sad because all the memories are left behind and after you move you cant go back to the house to live so its like losing the house forever.(can you tell me is it hard to rythm word because all my poems come out crapppy
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Was that rhythm or rhyme? Both really just take practice. I find using meter harder than the rhyming, personally, because rhyme only controls the last word, whereas with meter you have to be careful with everything you write.
When you're writing fixed poetry, you have to make sure that you aren't detracting from the meaning, but you also have to make sure you aren't forcing rhymes horribly or using really clichΓ©d rhymes (you know, like "the light is bright and white at night")... I have to edit what I'm writing more when I rhyme, go back and see if there's another way to say things, and sometimes you just have to not use some phrases that you liked because they don't fit.
Hope that rambling helped a little!
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thanks. i just wrote 2 poems why not check em out?
thanks for the tips i still dont know how you can get your meaning into a poem that rhythms. its just hard
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I'll have a look at the next chance I get
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I love the last line, it puts the perfect twist on the whole piece
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Thank you for both the kind comment and the fav!
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Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it!
And thanks for the fav, too!
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I was amused and saddened
terrific
5 STARS
sorry Im in a weird mood
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Heh heh, no worries, I like unusual comments. 
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And thank you for the fav!
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Thanks, I'm glad you like it!
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Thank you very much, and thanks for the fav!
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Oh the humorous irony. All that stuff, you were better off without it; all attachment leads to suffering.
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I don't know about that, pain killers have been known to ease suffering... And they took my miniature cookery implements!
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Hah, how clever. You always seem to know just how to employ cliches.
This made me smile.
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Thank you, it's good to know that I at least used them in an appropriate manner.
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Indeed, it's a fine line, but you pulled it off well!
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Very awesome. 
I think you should write like this more often...
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Thank you! 
Ooh, and thanks for the fav!
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...
but not at my house. Oh no, you are most certainly not allowed within a 100 mile radius of my house.
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But... but... I don't know where you live! What if I go there by accident? What will become of me??
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I'm in Wisconsin, United States.
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Although now that you've fallen for my devious ploy, you may not be! Fly, my pretties!!!
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
NOOOOOO!
You're forcing me to shut my windows on a 60 degree (Fahrenheit) day.
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My fiendish plan has worked! There never were any flying pretties, you closed your windows in vain! *cackles until she falls over*
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Ooooh. 
Blast you.
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A perfect set-up for a wonderful, if predictable, punch-line.
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