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Ciclopotis — FlutterPie - Part 1
Published: 2011-09-22 03:39:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 3457; Favourites: 43; Downloads: 198
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Description
My first attempt at fan-fictio. It is terrible, I know, but oh well, too bad. Feel free to make any criticism you like, constructive ones are always welcome. And yeah, if you do actually enjoyed it, I'll be uploading more parts soon, though it shouldn't be more than 3.My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (c) and all it's characters are the property of their respective owners (not me, then).
EDIT: see that awesome drawing for a cover? Yeah, it was made by ~kazababomb.
Go check out his channel right now! [link]
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Comments: 24
Very good, so far. My only recommendation would be the implementation of paragraphs
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Yeah, this first attempt was not so happy in terms of form, eh. Rest assured though, I have learned my lesson!
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Do you have to download it to read this? Because nothing is showing up for me. D:
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I don't think so, it must be because of your connection. It doesn't show anything for me either at first, but after a few moments I can read it. However, you can download it to make it quicker, if you wish
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Hmm... Well, I did wait a while, but nothing came up. My connection is pretty good too, so I'll just download it. It probably just doesn't like my computer. xD
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I'm sorry about it not working, it's honestly the first time I was told about it, so I assume everyone else can see it. Downloading should allow you to see it though! If you can read it, don't forget to tell me your thoughts on it ;D
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actually its not even showing up for me either....
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Aw crap. Well, does downloading fix it? Or maybe it's because it's a PDF file.
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yea you have to download it in order to view it....
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I would like to see more of this, though you might consider having someone help you out with editing. Some of the sentences run together, or are missing words.
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Oh damn, I'm sorry about that, I used a converter program to turn the document to PDF and something must have gone wrong, hum. Hopefully it won't happen again
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Well, that would get rid of the paragraph breaks, but there were still spelling and grammatical errors. n.n' I don't mean to be mean or anything....you just need a proof reader!
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This was really good. I love how you made Fluttershy's nervousness shine. She wants to confess her feelings but fear and nerves are stopping her. Just awesome.
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Thank you for your comment and especially for telling me what you liked about it, it's great knowing people notice those details
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You are very welcome. I look forward to the next part.
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I was aiming for that, happy to see I got it ;D
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Thanks, I'm glad you like it. I'll be sure to upload the next part, which is still a work in progress, tomorrow or the day after.
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