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ClickClickBangUKugly for a reason

Published: 2010-02-19 10:11:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 76395; Favourites: 1165; Downloads: 0
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Description THANK YOU SO MUCH for the inspiring comments and revelations and laying bare, many of them have left me speechless and several have reduced me to tears. thank you @leaf-lover for giving me a DD on probably the one photograph in my gallery i hate, but i do understand why!

for those who have asked, the quote that was given to me by my tutor which led to this picture is:
‘A photograph is both a pseudo-presence and a token of absence. Like a wood fire in a room, photographs – especially those of people, of distant landscapes and faraway cities, of the vanished past – are incitements to reverie*. The sense of the unattainable that can be evoked by photographs feeds directly into the erotic feelings of those for whom desirability is enhanced by distance. The lover’s photograph hidden in a married woman’s wallet, the poster photograph of a rock star tacked up over an adolescents bed, the campaign-button image of a politician’s face pinned on a voter’s coat, the snapshots of a cabin-driver’s children clipped to the visor – all such talismanic uses of photographs express a feeling both sentimental and implicitly magical: the are attempts to contact or lay claim to another reality.’ (Sontag, 1979:16)




EDIT-i'm seriously gobsmacked and touched by the lovely, positive, inspiring comments i'm getting on this image. i certainly wasnt expecting it. thank you so much everyone, it means an awful lot

college self portrait. no editing or post-processing, based on a susan sontag quote.

i nearly chickened out of using this for college at all, i found it very difficult as it has a lot of personal meaning and i find it difficult to post 'warts-and-all' images of myself.

explanation of the image taken from my college posting:

"the neck corset-relates to my eating disorder. i have suffered from bulimia for 15 years, and have recently started therapy for it, the corset represents the purging of food, and the restriction an eating disorder has over your life. i'm hoping that its almost past me, i'm getting there at least.

the invisible face/visible mouth again relating to the bulimia, it is amazing how your life rotates around your mouth and what you put in/take out of it when you have an ED, and i wanted to reflect that.

the taut string on my tummy relates to my body before and after children, i have never been a skinny girl but after having 2 very large children (both over 10 pounds) my body has taken a large toll (which in turn has influenced the eating disorder) and as a larger lady, its the one part of my body i feel isnt in proportion with the rest of me. the string represents the state of my tum before i had children, and how i miss it, but the purple heart is placed over my womb, because i may hate my belly, but i still love it because it gave me two beautiful children.

its a reflection on my body, on my life, mostly past (like in the quote) but also present, 'an incitement to reverie' and remembrance of what things were like before.

its a difficult picture for me, i rarely do full body self portraits but i wanted to, hopefully, do the sontag quote some justice. i dont know if thats been acheived but, even though its been hard, i sorta-kinda like the end result. i'd like it a lot more if it wasnt of me though

i'd really appreciate your feedback on what the image means to you after the explanation, and i am very open about my ED so dont be afraid to ask any questions "

please be nice, remember its an un-edited picture so no crit on that side of things thanks!
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Comments: 1379

Neitzarr In reply to ??? [2010-12-21 03:39:02 +0000 UTC]

You are amazing and absolutely stunning.

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Psychartic [2010-12-20 09:03:37 +0000 UTC]

You are so brave, you are beautiful and strong, I wish I was half as brave as you.

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FreakyShadows [2010-12-20 03:56:48 +0000 UTC]

Lovely to see someone brave enough to post something like this. You have a lot of guts, and a lot of skill.

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Abandonyouridols [2010-12-20 02:17:56 +0000 UTC]

beautiful!
so nice to see another curvy lady on DA. <3

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EveryNextDream [2010-12-19 20:49:46 +0000 UTC]

This gorgeous photo is featured in the Shoot Yourself, Beautiful news article, posted on behalf of #VanityTheory .

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EveryNextDream [2010-12-08 00:11:23 +0000 UTC]

This is featured in my journal

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OritPetra [2010-12-06 21:59:39 +0000 UTC]

This beautiful, moving, uplifting. You are so brave for posting this, and I am so glad you did.

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Sarah-Vafidis In reply to ??? [2010-12-02 09:16:24 +0000 UTC]

This is so beautiful I am crying. I have recently been correctly diagnosed with a heart condition and I have a pacemaker. My life was taken away from me by many doctors who mistreated and misdiagnosed me previously. I was in a wheelchair for a long time, but now I have my pacemaker. Being sick, I have met so many incredible people and inspiring people along the way.

Even if I had the choice, I wouldn't change anything. Everything happens for a reason. I am 17 and don't have any children, but my characters are my children and they have come out of my illnesses. I really know how much you would love your children, and the little purple heart placed over your womb/stomach, that made me cry as I instantly knew it meant something really special to you.

*still crying*

This is a beautiful piece and I really thank you for sharing I wear my surgery scars proudly and refuse to let my illnesses control me. Pieces like this inspire me to keep going <3 I hope you are well, and take care

Thank you
~Sarah V

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to Sarah-Vafidis [2010-12-02 12:59:29 +0000 UTC]

thank you so much for your lovely comment it means a lot that this picture touched you in some way, and i am very very proud of you for not letting your medical history change who you are

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Sarah-Vafidis In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2011-01-30 03:24:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for providing something so beautiful
~Sarah V

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Chat-Mort In reply to ??? [2010-12-02 02:10:26 +0000 UTC]

It's just gorgeous.

Gosh... I love you!!

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to Chat-Mort [2010-12-02 12:59:55 +0000 UTC]

haha thank you so very much!

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marynights In reply to ??? [2010-11-27 05:29:03 +0000 UTC]

as I sit here crying from joy....I am trying to think how to say how truly beautiful you are this moves me more than I can say, on so many different levs I am a mother of 2,I am a large women,I have battle scares from life and giving life to the world,and living in the world from the journey that is time,when I was a girl I thought at 125 pds I was so very fat compered to most of my FRs I was= the big one, big butt, big hips, big thighs big shoulders and small b size breast. so much purser to be smaller from FR and the tv and moves and family and mags I had small bnging and purging episodes..........I had children young( 1st at 17) and you know what happened. a few episodes after that then trying speed.. and all kinds of stuff...anyway what I can say is this you inspire me to lov what is good and admit what is not I lov my stretch marks I lov what they mean..eating is a pleasure and a necessary sin,some things just cant go back the way they use to be and that's ok cause the end result is still just as beautiful as the begging........you are wonderful and brave and beautiful you have a great eye and are so talented THANK YOU so much......the name of this should be........ I am wonderful in my own skin=just the way I am

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LimeGreenSquid In reply to ??? [2010-11-19 23:44:09 +0000 UTC]

Are you not on my watch anymore? Or did i just miss this since it only shows 3 watch items at a time ... but it's beautiful to me! Love the heart, hehe. Offer's still up for a front drawing of you if you wanted to send some poses my way! If not, no problem, just glad to see you're still out there!

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LimeGreenSquid In reply to LimeGreenSquid [2010-11-19 23:47:06 +0000 UTC]

PS - your belly's the type i love to draw anyway!

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Hennei [2010-11-07 15:40:49 +0000 UTC]

You have no idea how much this picture means to be. I'm sitting here in tears right now after reading what you wrote about what the picture means, and I just


Wow

I really really love this, and it's so beautiful in so many ways. I'm in despair right now about my body, and I am really not happy with it. But after reading this, I've learned a lot and it really got me thinking.

Love you and your gallery, your work is beautiful!

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kortizol [2010-11-06 15:34:36 +0000 UTC]

I absolutely love this picture!
And I see no ugliness, you are very beautiful!

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spockck In reply to ??? [2010-09-17 20:06:51 +0000 UTC]

your beautiful and dont let anyone tell you otherwise

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to spockck [2010-09-19 09:49:04 +0000 UTC]

thank you so very much

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mostlycomeoutatnight [2010-09-10 13:00:21 +0000 UTC]

It's not Body Dysmorphia when you're actually a fat ugly cunt.

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to mostlycomeoutatnight [2010-09-12 21:46:17 +0000 UTC]

HAHAHAHA!! good job i dont have body dysmorphia then innit?

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ninjasaint In reply to mostlycomeoutatnight [2010-09-10 20:39:56 +0000 UTC]

Hello. I posted the above comment and I want to say that I am sorry and regret it - I was just being a cunt and it wasn't true.

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moviegirl78 In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 07:04:35 +0000 UTC]

Hi there and congratulations!

This image has been featured in this news article: [link]

Please be sure to fave the article to help yourself and the other featured artists get seen and to check out all the other wonderful art that has been featured

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dje3394 In reply to ??? [2010-08-19 00:20:19 +0000 UTC]

barf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to dje3394 [2010-08-26 18:23:23 +0000 UTC]

yes dear, thats what bulimics do!

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carvingbackbone In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-10-04 23:16:31 +0000 UTC]

FANTASTICCCCC comeback twiglet
thatttt made my night!

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to carvingbackbone [2010-10-05 21:38:43 +0000 UTC]

haha glad you liked it

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carvingbackbone In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-10-05 21:47:58 +0000 UTC]

of course i did!

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nazarienne [2010-08-03 19:32:36 +0000 UTC]

God...your picture is really beautiful and your explanations made me cry...
I really admire your courage! I'm also not a slim person and I may not suffer from ED but I suffered now over 6 years from depression (also some years in combination with self destruction), generalised anxiety disorder and social phobia...
it's not the same, but I can guess how difficult it was for you to take that picture and to 'show' everyone how you feel and what you think.
I hope you're feeling better and enjoy life.
This is by the way the best self-portrait I ever saw.
Wish you all the best.

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LadyLuck89 [2010-08-03 18:59:52 +0000 UTC]

I really do hate that society and the media have turned us against ourselves. I really don't want to jump on the band wagon it is all the media and society's fault but I feel like it is. I am probably totally wrong or right who knows. But for me I haven't had any children but I know what you are going through.

I have been personally at war with my body for quite sometime now and it is a tiring battle. I remember in high school I almost developed a ED because I was so obsessed I would not eat and I would only drink water and take diet pills. I honestly think I screwed up my heart because of it. But that stigma to be skinny or to be a certain size almost gnaws and gnaws at your soul until there is no turning back.

I have a lot of respect for you and you are a brave young woman. I personally think you are beautiful and that if you must change yourself you have to do it for you and no one else. But we as women need to stand together and fit the stigma to be a certain size. I believe deep down in my heart that every woman or man even is beautiful no matter the shape.

This topic is such a major one and so I am trying to keep this short and simple. But Ladytwiglet you are goregous! And this photo is inspiring.

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ephesiansdancer [2010-07-31 22:16:47 +0000 UTC]

The title should be changed to beautiful for a reason, this photo means so much to me, it is absolutly amazing!! To have gone through an ED like you have, and overcome that is an amazing thing! You are my hero, because you put yourself out there for what you believe and show the world exactly who you are and that is Amazing! It takes a strong person and you should celebrate it!!! WOW is all i can say, words are lost. There is so much i wish I could put into words but I can't. Inspiring, Breathtaking, Life-changing, Encouraging.

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xHALEYx [2010-07-29 22:09:13 +0000 UTC]

This picture is beautiful and so is the message you're sending through it. I really admire your bravery to post this picture despite the fact it's such a personal one and I'm so glad you did post it! I love the symbolism, the use of the string, the corset and the purple heart worked out really well. <3 I personaly think everyone is gorgeous in their own way, I really don't believe there is such thing as ugly human, unless of course they are just plain ugly on the inside, then it might change things, of course this is just my opinion.

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IzzyPoofs In reply to ??? [2010-07-13 08:42:31 +0000 UTC]

I do not have the honor of being as curvy as you. I have, for years, hated my body so much because I was always "the fat girl" in my class. I am 152 Ibs, and I still feel like they were right. I hope I can have your confidence someday. I would love to pose nude for art and post it on here. Thank you, thank you for this.

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to IzzyPoofs [2010-07-14 08:53:34 +0000 UTC]

no, thank YOU

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Empty-Frames In reply to ??? [2010-07-13 03:32:29 +0000 UTC]

As a young woman who suffers with eating disorders, as well as other mental and physical problems, I am... I cant find the words, and usually I am very literate... Awestruck doesnt even cut it.

I hope one day I can be as brave, and as honest as you. I often find myself hiding behind makeup and i cant settle on one look because in my eyes i am ugly. I hope one day I can take a photo like this, even if it never sees the light of day. Your courage has set a fire in my heart. You have given me hope.

You are beautiful. Every single part of you, inside, and out. Thank you for this piece. You are the brightest star in my night sky.

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to Empty-Frames [2010-07-14 08:55:00 +0000 UTC]

awww your comment made me tear up :') i'm a little bit unsure of what to say, kinda speechless thank you so much for your amazing words and i hope you get that strength sooner rather than later

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Empty-Frames In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-07-14 11:53:13 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much for replying. My astrologist friend says that as a libra i look up to strong women, and I look up to you. Im watching you now. (my computer froze up) Because you are an inspiration. I have looked through your works and every piece is so full of beauty. You have a wonderful eye.

I also hope I find the strength, maybe doing a piece like this can give me more confidence and make me feel beautiful again.

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EccentricDream [2010-07-08 06:39:08 +0000 UTC]

Awh, I do not like the title. ):
I like the confidence this places.
Beautiful woman are not the ones covered in make-up and edited in photographs,
They are the kind, confident, sweet ones. The ones that don't stand on the corners. ^-^

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to EccentricDream [2010-07-08 06:53:18 +0000 UTC]

i understand what you mean but the title is in relation to the explanation in the description so it makes perfect sense to me but thank you!

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EccentricDream In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-07-08 06:55:52 +0000 UTC]

^-^ My apologies. I'm only fifteen, so I did not have anything wise or deep to say. But I mean it and am happy that everyone seems to be posting upbeat comments! (:

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to EccentricDream [2010-07-08 21:22:54 +0000 UTC]

no no no need for apologies, i totally understand your reaction and a few people have said it to me, its fine!!

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rachelillustrates In reply to ??? [2010-07-02 00:29:22 +0000 UTC]

You are a gorgeous woman and so brave for sharing so much of yourself, both inside and out, with us

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sexy-colours In reply to ??? [2010-06-29 19:08:26 +0000 UTC]

As our lovely Aunty Gok would say, you have a gawjuss set of bangers!

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to sexy-colours [2010-06-29 22:18:53 +0000 UTC]

LOL! thank you very much!

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sexy-colours In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-06-29 22:24:17 +0000 UTC]

hehe ur welcome!!

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CrazyLadiee In reply to ??? [2010-06-24 19:38:56 +0000 UTC]

If i haven't already said it!! This picture is beyond awesome and beautiful ^_^

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MetlWolf In reply to ??? [2010-05-19 19:48:24 +0000 UTC]

You, my dear, Rock.

Not ugly, real. Not a reason, two miracles. I'll take reality for two miracles over another photoshopped skinny blonde for titilation, any day.

Beautiful you.

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ClickClickBangUK In reply to MetlWolf [2010-05-20 21:04:23 +0000 UTC]

thank you so much

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MetlWolf In reply to ClickClickBangUK [2010-05-20 22:23:13 +0000 UTC]

You're most welcome.

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evilerica [2010-05-16 15:28:49 +0000 UTC]

this is amazing, the concept is so inspiring. it's a beautiful picture~

respect to you!

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