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CodyLabs — Forest of Daggers: Chapter 7
#alien #fanart #fanfiction #ghost #robot #scifi #shapeshifter #gravityfalls #dipperpines #wendyxdipper #wendycorduroy #wendip #seeyounextsummer #forestofdaggers
Published: 2018-07-07 17:15:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 9464; Favourites: 59; Downloads: 0
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Description
Chapter 7: The Irrelevant Date
-hull proximity alert
-warning: high-velocity impact predicted bearing 18/2639/10
-automatic hardening of ventral framework
-attempt correction maneuvers
-warning: malfunction
-warning: primary coil failure
-warning: secondary coil failure
-warning: tertiary coil failure
-emergency procedures initiated
-attempt capacitor dump to uncertainty drive
-capacitor dump failed
-rupture detected in pipeline >17
-diagnose
-mechanical failure
-servo 39.0 over-articulated
-insufficient time for automated repair
-request pilot input
-pilot input delayed
-request diagnostic crewmember response
-diagnostic crewmember response delayed
-attempt capacitor dump to uncertainty drive
-dump type: arc discharge
-arc discharge successful
-uncertainty drive malfunction
-warning: uncertainty velocity increase to *[3/ddp<^10=7aa4`~~0?9~0~~~~~~~~~
“Check it out!!” Dipper giddily held his phone in front of Pacifica’s face. She recoiled slightly at his advance, and almost spilled her water. “Guess what this is?!?” He asked her.
“Umm…” She frowned at it, and began to read the words on the screen. “Uh… What does ‘ventral’ mean? Is that a word?”
“Yes it IS!” Dipper smiled at the phone. “But do you know what these are? My great uncle just texted this too me! This is the first coherent translation of extraterrestrial language! These are actual logs from one of their flight computers!” He returned the phone to his lap and began typing out a reply. “Man this is so cool! An actual successful translation! I gotta ask what else he’s found. If anything more than the diagnostic logs survived…”
“Extraterrestrial…?” Pacifica frowned. “Wait… Does that mean alien?”
“Yeah…!” Dipper suddenly realized that the whole ‘aliens exist’ thing was on a strictly need-to-know basis. He stopped typing abruptly. “Uh… I mean… I can’t… Really tell you… I mean… Uh… Yeah. There are a few aliens we think. And we think this is from one of their computers. But… Uh…”
“Are they dangerous?” She asked.
“No! Uh. No. I mean, they can’t be since they’re all dead.”
“But you are saying there’s aliens? Dead aliens?”
“Uh… Yeeeeah… I’m not sure if I’m supposed to tell you…” Dipper pocketed his phone, suddenly highly self-conscious. “I… Kind of got caught up in the moment there… My Great Uncle really doesn’t want people knowing about it, so…”
“Well okay, sorry.” She shrugged. “Like, if it’s that important, then sure. I won’t tell… But why would your great uncle want to keep it a secret anyway?” She took a sip of water. “He’s still owns that mystery hut back in the woods, doesn’t he? I bet dead aliens would draw a lot of business. He could make some pretty good money. Unless they’re super gross. But if they’re just skeletons, then that would be really great.”
“No, uh… The other uncle. The one that doesn’t care much about money. And he doesn’t own the shack anymore. Soos does.”
“You have two uncles…?” She frowned. “Oh yeah, that other old guy… I suppose they do look a lot alike. Except he has six fingers.”
“Yeah. They’re brothers. And… Yeah.”
“Well you should tell the new proprietor that dead aliens would be a really cool attraction. Like, I’m sure people would just love that.”
There was a brief pause. Dipper blinked. “Proprietor…? What does that mean?”
“Oh… It means… Like, owner. Manager. Caretaker. But more formal.”
“Oh. Well… Hey, uh… If we did have an alien attraction, would you… Like it…?”
She shrugged. “Well, I don’t know. I’d kind of like to see aliens, I suppose. If they’re not trying to kill me. Like, it seems like everything weird is trying to kill me. So they have to be dead… But I don’t really like the mystery hut though. So I don’t think I should go there. And my mom would totally kill me if she found out I spent money there because she wants me to save it.”
“Huh… Yeah. I get that… Uh… What are you saving your money for?”
“Hmm? Oh, investments. My dad is teaching me how to do business and stocks and things.”
“Oh. Cool… So… How’s… Uh… Say, how’s your dad, anyway? Is his… Face fine?”
“His… Face?” She frowned, trying to think what he could possibly be talking about. “Oh!” She finally remembered, and shook her head. “Yeah, his face is fine. Never mind all that though.”
“Never mind--? Oh. Okay.” Dipper scratched his head. “How’s his… How’s his overbearing… Fatherliness… Going. I mean, are you cool? I know that whole ghost situation and his thing with the bell didn’t turn out so well…”
“Oh. Yeah. He’s kind of shut up after we sold the mansion, and I paid the butler to hide the bell, but he still gets on my nerves sometimes. But don’t get me started on my mom though…”
She kept talking.
Dipper’s neck itched, so he reached up to scratch it. But there was a problem: his tie was in the way, and he couldn’t reach the itch. A TIE. Did fancy people have to deal with ties a lot? How did you loosen a tie? Was it even socially acceptable to loosen a tie while on a date? How are you supposed to be polite when you’ve got a fat, weird rope cinched up around your throat? Wait a minute, why are ties a thing in the first place? WHAT IN THE NAME OF PAUL BUNYAN ARE TIES EVEN FOR???
He should ask Pacifica. She would know. He opened her mouth to ask her, but she was still talking, and he knew enough about etiquette to know it was rude to interrupt. Wait a minute, how do you pronounce etiquette? He’d only ever seen it written, never heard it spoken. Does the ‘Q’ make a ‘qu’ sound or a ‘k’ sound? He suddenly realized that he should have been listening to what Pacifica was saying.
He tuned back in. She was saying something about getting trained for horseback riding. Or… Wait, was it a horse or a pony? What’s the difference between a horse and a pony? Did it matter? Why am I so sweaty? Do horses sweat?
No!! It’s too late! I didn’t tune in when I had the chance, and now she just asked me a question! What was the question? What do I say?!? Forgive me, Pacifica, I screwed up! WHAT DO I SAY?!?
Wendy examined herself in the bathroom mirror.
She couldn’t really see herself.
PERFECT!
The armor kept almost every square inch of her skin covered. Composite leggings and gauntlets protected her arms and legs, football pads and helmet took care of her head and upper body, and everything else was covered by thick jeans, and a flannel jacket with the collar turned up.
Yes, a day’s worth of searching had certainly paid off. Her brothers had agreed to loan her the pads until the whole robot thing was done, and the arm and leg armor was a gift from McGucket, under the condition that she use it to bring back some cool things for him to study. (He was a really nice guy, actually. Any military contractor would have charged, like, thousands of dollars for this junk. But he just loaned it for free. What a friend.)
Anyway, now it was utterly perfect. She could run through that forest now. She could roll around in the grass, climb the trees, faceplant into the bushes, rub spiders in her armpits, and none of it could even touch her.
She reached up under the helmet and added the final touch: a pair of safety glasses. Now. Now it was perfect.
She laughed at how silly she looked. She didn’t exactly look like Wendy anymore… Actually, with her hair tucked in, she looked a bit like a dorky football robot with a big fat head and big fat arms. It wasn’t quite as robot-like as a space-warrior-time-cop (which was one of her aspirations) but still pretty weird. Man, if only her friends could see her now. They’d be all like: ‘huh?’
She had a suit prepared for Dipper too. She hoped he would like his, and that it wouldn’t be too heavy.
“Wendy, what are you doing in there?” Her brother asked through the door, derailing her train of thought.
“I’m… Changing!” She told him, and reached up to remove the helmet. “Not decent! Go away!”
“Yeah, well… Dad says you better hurry up, because there’s a robot outside and it’s making the TV go all glitchy…”
“WHAT?!?” She pulled the door open, still fully armored, and rushed past her brother and out into the living room.
Her dad glanced up at her, and frowned. “WHAT THE BLAZES ARE YOU WEARING, SON?”
“No dad, it’s me!” She pulled up the helmet to show him.
“WENDY, YOU LOOK LIKE A GUY.” He frowned.
“I know, I’m sorry! Kind of hard to slap together cool armor when you’re on a budget of literally nothing. But dad! You said there’s a robot or something?”
“YEAH.” He pointed to the window. “WE SAW RED EYES OUTSIDE, AND NOW THE TV IS ACTING UP AGAIN. JUST LIKE IT WAS WHEN YOU FOUND THAT LITTLE ONE.”
“…Dad, how big were these eyes?”
“UH…” He held up his hands to the about the size of footballs. “PRETTY BIG. I BET I COULD STILL KILL IT WITH AN AXE THOUGH.”
The lion.
The mother.
The mother was here.
Wendy sprinted back to her room, and grabbed a few things: her magnet gun, an axe, and the duffle bag containing Dipper’s armor. She was back in the living room in seconds. “Okay dad!” She said. “This is the same robot I told you about! It’s the size of two of you, and has saws on its saws! It sees and hears in radio signals, so turn off your cell phones, the TV, and anything electronic! We want it alive, so try not to kill it. But if it attacks you or the house, fry its brain with this gun! Stay the heck away from the saws!”
Her dad took the tool, and stared at it in a confused sort of way.
“You cock it like a normal pistol to charge it up, and pull the trigger to fire.” She explained. “Keep it on pulse setting. I’ll be back!” She turned to head for the door.
A massive hand on her shoulder stopped her short. “WENDY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”
She turned to look up into her dad’s worried face. “Dad, I trust you to keep the house safe. Do you trust me?”
He held her eye for a minute, then nodded. “I DO.”
“Then trust me when I say we CAN’T face this thing with axes. This thing is more than a match for you. More than a match for any man. Do you trust me to fix this?”
He hesitated. “…I DO.”
“And I say we need help. So I’m going to get it.”
He released her shoulder, and she sprinted through the door.
Outside, the last hint of orange light illuminated the western sky, as dusk rapidly darkened the world. It would be night soon. Night, when human senses were at their worst. Night, where predators could hide anywhere. Night, when everyone was useless and asleep. Heck of a time to be running from a killer robot.
Her eyes swept the property for any sign of the enemy. Seeing none of it at the moment, she pulled her bike out from under the porch, and mounted up. The bag containing Dipper’s armor went over her shoulder, and her axe went in her belt. Then she stood up on the bike’s pedals and sped off down the road, away from the house. Only a mile and a half to the mystery shack. Only a mile and a half…
When she was almost out of sight of the cabin, she glanced over her shoulder one more time, to make sure she wasn’t being pursued.
That was when her heart nearly stopped.
Way off in the distance, in the shadows beyond the cabin, she saw two round red eyes staring at her.
Holy Bunyan; there it was.
In the darkness, the creature rose to its feet. The eyes lifted above the bushes. Then it began to move towards her; those eyes neither blinking nor wavering, only growing larger as it approached.
As it moved past the light from the cabin’s windows, she saw its whole body silhouetted for a moment: wide, tall, dark, and lean. Its legs were a blur as it picked up speed, and its gate changed from a walk to a run to a sprint. It was moving faster than her bicycle. As fast as a car. And it was chasing her.
This was at least the 3rd scariest thing that Wendy had ever experienced in real life.
It’s chasing me. If I don’t do something, it WILL catch me. But I can’t panic! I need to think! Let the adrenaline fill you, but don’t lose control! This is life or death, Wendy!
Too late, she realized that she hadn’t been watching the road ahead of her. The bike hit a rut, and she went over the handlebars. By the time she got her bearings again, she was lying in the roadside ditch with the bike on top of her. The shoulder pads had taken most of the impact with the ground, so she could stand up again without injury.
But the creature was still coming. How long now? 30 seconds.
She left her bike behind and sprinted. When it passed her bike, she heard the creature stop for just a moment. The forest suddenly became filled with noise as its saws bit down. A shower of sparks briefly lit up the night. When Wendy glanced back again a few seconds later, all that was left of the bike was assorted debris, and the creature charged forward again.
Dang it!
Wendy only had one way to fight this machine, and that was the magnet gun she’d left with her dad. Now she hadn’t a hope of combat. There was only one trick left, and that was to hide in the trees. Or up a tree. Or something tree. She had to get out of sight, but it wasn’t far behind her now. How long did she have to hide now?? Seconds!
Life or death, Wendy!
Suddenly, a loud and thundering voice rang out. “COME AND GET IT, YOU FLEA-RIDDEN HEAP OF RECYCLED TIN FOIL!” It boomed.
She looked back at the cabin.
Her dad stood in the light of the cabin’s open door, with the magnet gun in one hand, a pair of chainsaw chaps in the other, and a shotgun over his shoulder. “FRESH MEAT!” He yelled into a walkie-talkie so the creature could hear him. “YOU WANT A BITE?!? I’M MORE BITE THAN YOU CAN TAKE!!”
The red eyes turned away from Wendy.
“Dad, don’t!” Wendy yelled.
“YEAH YOU HEAR ME!” Her dad began running away from the shelter of the house, directly at the creature. “COME AND GET IT YOU CLYPE-DREEP-BACHLE GETHER-UPING BLATE-MAW BLEATHERING GOMERIL OAF-LOOKING PLOOKIE SHAN MILK-DRINKING WORM-EYED HOTTEN-BLAUGH VILE-STOOCHIE CALLY-BREEK-TATTIE! I’M CALLING YOU A COWARD! WHADDAYA THINK OF THAT?!?”
He tossed the walkie-talkie aside as the creature turned and started toward him. Its antennae extended to full size and it crouched low, as it advanced to take on this new challenge.
Seeing that he had its full attention, Dan began to slowly retreat back toward the cabin.
“Dad, run!”
“WENDY, GET OUT OF HERE!” He hollered. “GO! DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO! AND DON’T YOU LOOK BACK!”
“Dad.” She gasped.
He was almost to the doorway now, and the creature continued to advance on him. It was no more than 30 feet away from him now, hissing and threatening. “DO YOU TRUST ME?” Dan called out to her.
Wendy gulped and took a deep breath. “I do.” She whispered.
So she turned and ran down the road. Her lungs heaved in and out as she sprinted, and her armor clattered on her shoulders with every step, and her legs stabbed against the ground, fueled by adrenaline, fear, and rage.
Her eyes remained fixed on the road ahead.
And she did not look back.
The sun had just gone down, the woods were quiet, as Dipper pulled up the drive and hopped off his bike. He leaned it against the side of the shack, and padlocked it to a tree so that gnomes or gremlins or vampires couldn’t make off with it.
Then he stepped up to the door in a quiet sort of way, while his fingers worked around his neck, trying once more to figure out how to loosen this confounded tie.
It had been a nice evening, actually.
Not that bad.
Kind of bad, but not that bad.
Pacifica had been nice. The food was weird, and the tie was awful, but the date was… Well, it was a date. And Dipper felt proud of himself just for that: I went on a date! Me! Dipper! A real date! And she even kissed me on the cheek afterwards! How awesome is that?
But in the end, he had an itching feeling that Stan had been right. He should have taken her to the arcade or something. Or to tacos. Or someplace where there was something to talk about besides money and horses. Maybe next time…
Next time…?
The very idea of ‘next time’ gave him a vague feeling of unease.
Would there be a next time? Did he want a next time?
He was confused, and conflicted, and shy. Was this how Mabel felt with Gideon? Or how Wendy felt with him? Ugh. Oh man. Either way, he didn’t want to devote any more thought to this tonight. So many questions, none of the answers, and now romance just seemed like a lot of work. What was romance, anyway? He should probably look it up in the dictionary tonight, just to see if that could clear anything up.
Well.
At least he could come home to a nice, quiet night after all that. Relax, play a board game, read a book, enjoy some quality time with the family that loved and respected him for who he is. A family that didn’t expect him to wear a tie, or be responsible with money, or be all proper. A family who could sit around in their own filth, pick their noses, watch crappy movies together, and just be chill… That’s what he needed tonight; he needed chill.
As he hung up his bike helmet, and stepped into the parlor.
Mabel was sitting in the armchair. Stanley, Ford, and Abuelita, were hunched over her and around her, watching something on her phone. All three were laughing and joking, evidently having the time of their lives. Gideon must have made a new Tent of Telepathy commercial. Or maybe it was another Ducktective behind-the-scenes special. Or something Tiger-Fist.
Dipper went to join in. But then, as soon as the family all saw him, they abruptly stopped laughing and froze. In the new silence, Dipper stopped walking, and frowned.
This wasn’t normal.
“Hi.” Ford announced, staring at him.
“’Sup.” Stan said, staring at him.
“Hello child.” Abuelita said.
“Fancy seeing you here.” Mabel said, staring at him. “In the parlor. In your own home. Welcome home. To the parlor. Hi.”
This wasn’t normal.
“What’s so funny?” Dipper asked.
“Uh…” Mabel said. “So how was the date?”
“Yeah!” Stan said. “How was the babe?”
“Sounds fascinating.” Agreed Ford.
“I never shipped you two anyway.” Abuelita said, and walked out of the room.
“Tell us all about the date.” Mabel said. “Tell us all everything about it.”
Dipper stared at them for a good long minute.
“Uh.” He finally answered. “The date was fine. Totally fine. Uh… She was pretty. She was nice. And the waiter was—There was a waiter, but I got a weird vibe off of him… And… Uh…”
“Where did you go?” Mabel asked. “For seafood or something?”
“Uh…” Dipper frowned at his sister. “Mabel, you already know we went to seafood. I told you that on Tuesday. Remember?”
“Oh!” Silly me!” Mabel said, bonking herself on the head. “Of course I knew you went for seafood! Ha ha! Imagine that! Forgetting what I know! Why would I ever pretend I didn’t know something when I actually did know it? Where did you ever get that idea? Whoever said anything about that?”
“Umm…” Dipper frowned.
“What did you have ta eat?” Stan asked. “I heard they have that one really nice… Crabs.”
“I had... Yeah.” Dipper said. “I think it was a crab, actually. That was fun.”
“Hmm.” Ford nodded, apparently fascinated. “How fascinating.” He said.
“Yeah.” Dipper just kept talking, hoping that somehow it would make everybody stop staring at him. “Well, the weird thing with crab is that… You know how normally when you eat meat off the bone, like with chicken, the meat is on the outside? Well with crabs the bone is the exoskeleton on the outside, so getting the meat out was kind of weird. I tried to bite directly through the shell but that didn’t work. Then I tried to cut the exoskeleton with the knife, but it was just kind of a sawing motion and that didn’t seem polite, so I tried slurping the meat out like a straw but that didn’t really work either. And when I did get a little meat out I didn’t really like the taste of it, so I just drank the water. But then that jerk waiter must have made the water fizzy when I wasn’t looking. So when I drank the water… It was fizzy.”
Dipper stared at the watching circle of faces. Mabel discreetly tucked her phone beneath her leg. Stan blinked. “How fascinating.” Ford repeated.
“Okay.” Dipper put his hands on his hips, and glared. “What’s the deal?”
“Nothing!” Mabel said. “Nothing’s the deal! Why would you think something’s the deal?”
“What were you all watching on Mabel’s phone?” He asked.
There was silence for about a second. Then everybody’s poker faces shattered at once, and they burst out in a fit of laughter.
“All right.” Dipper said. He rushed forward, bumped Mabel off balance, snatched the phone from beneath her leg, and darted out of reach before she could react.
He looked at the screen. He saw himself and Pacifica sitting together at a familiar table.
Ah. He understood now.
Somehow, some time, for some reason, Mabel had hidden a camera at their table. His whole family had been watching the date live. And they had seen every single terrible, awkward detail.
“Ah.” Dipper grunted briefly.
“I’m sorry!” Mabel gasped for air past her laughter. “I… Wanted to help…! Matchmaker! Advice! Scrapbookortunity! Soap opera! Abuelita said I had to! But then I couldn’t look away!”
“I tried to give you a conversation topic!” Ford was laughing very hard too, but managed to hold up his tablet with the alien translation. “It didn’t work! I’m sorry!”
“WE PLACED BETS!” Stan howled, unapologetically. “I WON!”
Dipper’s first instinct had been outright outrage and infuriation. But at this point, he realized that infuriation was more than he could muster. So he cut his losses and settled for minor annoyance.
What had been expecting on an awkward first date, anyway? Stan was always a jerk. And Abuelita always did this sort of thing. But Ford had legitimately been trying to help. And as for Mabel… Well… As invasive as her methods were, her motives were decent. She was just trying to be a good matchmaker. Trying to keep an eye on him. Just as he tried to do on her dates, and just as they had both done for Soos on occasion. And Soos never got angry about this sort of thing, did he?
And in the end… Perhaps he did deserve a little ridicule. Perhaps he should just let them have their laugh. Perhaps it was time for him to lick his wounds and move on.
So that’s what he decided to do. This was in the past now. There was nothing he could do to fix it, so he just had to deal with the proper consequences, and try to work it all out. He shook his head and smiled just a little. “You guys.” He sighed.
He set Mabel’s phone down on the table and turned to head upstairs, leaving all their noise behind him.
“I’m sorry!” Ford yelled up after him.
“It was Abuelita’s idea!” Mabel yelled up.
“HA HA!” Stan added. “YOU SUCK!”
There was nothing more to be done here.
Dipper finally gave up trying to untie the tie, and since it seemed wrong to hacksaw it off, he laid down in bed fully clothed, and pulled the sheets over him.
What a night.
What.
A.
Night.
But as you well know, the night was far from over.
He hadn’t been lying in bed a minute when he heard the front door open and slam, and a familiar voice yell. “HEYHOWDYEVERYONEWHERE’SDIPPERTHEROBOTJUSTATEMYBIKE!”
That was Wendy’s voice!
Dipper stood out of bed and went downstairs. “Here I am Wendy! What—Wendy?” He beheld a strange, tall figure standing in the parlor breathing heavily.
The figure turned toward him, and he made out a familiar pair of green eyes past the helmet and glasses. She took off the helmet, and smiled warmly. “Oh…” She was still gasping for air. “Hey… Hey man, you look nice.”
“Why thank you.”
“Wait, what am I saying?!? Okay, look, so the robot lion. The mom; It’s back. It’s at my house. It ate my bike!”
“Ate your bike?”
“Ate. My. Bike. My dad’s facing it, or was facing it, but I don’t know how long he can keep it there. We need to get out and help.” She tossed Dipper a duffle bag. “Armor up, bro.”
He opened the package and looked inside. A suit of armor, identical to the one Wendy wore, but smaller. “Don’t mind if I do.”
He barged into the bathroom, kicked the door shut behind him, and went to take off his shirt. The tie stopped him; he still hadn’t found a way to loosen it. “UGH.” He decided he’d had enough of this stupid thing. I hate this tie! You’ve failed me for the last time tie! He pulled out a knife, and cut it off. The two halves fell to the bathroom floor, and he finally removed the suit. About time... About time.
He stripped down to his underwear, and climbed into the armor. Wendy had packed a flannel shirt and some jeans in with it, so he was totally modest again by the time the helmet went on.
It was hard. It was bulky. It was heavy, and uncomfortable.
But it was a whole lot better than a tie.
“Did you make one for me?” Mabel was asking when Dipper came back out.
“Naw, sorry dude.” Wendy shrugged. “I only have one Pines-sized brother, and he only has one suit of football pads.”
“Aww…”
“Anyway! You ready?” Wendy turned to Dipper.
He nodded.
“You ready?” Wendy asked everyone else.
Ford loaded two more rayguns into his trench coat, charged up his magnet gun, and nodded.
Stanley twirled a hockey stick in one hand, and a baseball bat in the other, and nodded as well.
Mabel cradled Juan in her hands, and nodded.
Soos came strolling down the stairs in his pajamas, and stood looking at their weapons and armor. “Woah…” He blinked. “Error 404, context not found.”
“Mystery business!” Mabel informed him. “We’re about to roll out! Want to come with?”
“I don’t know… You dawgs ain’t planning on going outside, are you?” He laughed. “I just woke up when I heard the giant robot out there.” He pointed to Dipper. “Ha ha! It was eating your bike, dude!”
“What?” Dipper gasped.
“WHAT?!?” Wendy gasped louder.
They both hurried to the door, and banged their helmets together as they both tried to look through the peephole at the same time.
“Ow. Sorry, go ahead.” Wendy said.
“Naw, you go ahead.” Dipper defected.
So she did. “Oh my gosh, she followed me here!” She said. “That’s the same one my dad was fighting!”
“How can you tell?”
“Because!” She stepped away from the peephole, and let him look. “It’s got his chainsaw chaps jammed in its saw!”
Dipper looked. Sure enough, it had an orange pair of half-pants dangling from its mouth, and two of its five saws were tangled in the whitish fibers. Its other 3 saws seemed perfectly fine though…
“What happened…” Wendy stuttered. “What… Dad! What did it do?!?”
Dipper saw the robot turn its attention toward the house. Its antennae flared up, and began to wave back and forth, as if scanning.
Dipper turned and looked at Juan. Juan was looking at the door, and his antennae were flared up as well.
“They’re signaling.” Dipper realized. “THEY’RE SIGNALING! Mabel, it knows Juan is in here! Toss him outside!”
“What?” Mabel frowned. “How do we know she’s his mom? Did she have ‘mom parts’?”
“No! Yes! What?!? Who cares?!? It’s the real mom, Mabel! Now quick! Before she tries to come inside!”
They were too slow. A deafening noise started up, and the door began to shake. She was trying to come inside.
The tips of the mom’s 3 remaining saws appeared through the wood in moments, and the rest of the door buckled and fell aside.
The mom thrust her head through the doorway, but her shoulders were too wide to fit, so she turned her saws on the wall to make a bigger gap.
This was when Wendy got her first good, clear look at its head.
It had been in a grievous fight.
Besides for the chainsaw chaps in its saws, it had an axe embedded in one of its eyes, and the other eye was flickering on and off. In its forehead were 4 large dents, which she recognized as having come from shotgun slugs.
Dad had fought it. Dad had fought it hard, beat it up, half-blinded it. But it had survived. What happened to you, dad?!? Why didn’t you use the magnet gun when you had the chance? Why did you let it get so close? Why, dad, why? Are you dead now, dad?!?
The creature was almost completely through the wall now.
Ford stepped forward and leveled his magnet gun. But he didn’t pull the trigger, and his eyes were saying he was having second thoughts.
“Just do it!” Stanley growled.
“Kill it!” Dipper told his great uncle.
“Don’t kill her!” Mabel cried, and rushed forward. Stanley put an arm around her to keep her from moving closer. “Here he is!” Mabel held Juan out toward the larger robot. “Here’s your son!”
“Dude!” Soos yelled.
Ford still didn’t fire.
Wendy realized they had no time left. So she snatched the magnet gun out of his hand, and fired it herself. Mabel screamed and dived off to the side with Juan, to keep him away from the blast.
But the mother took the pulse square in the brain.
The sound of its saws, and the yelling of the humans inside, all stopped at the same time, leaving the entire house instantly silent. The mother’s remaining eye darkened, and its body twitched. Then it slouched over, half inside the doorway, half out, and stopped moving entirely. They all stood there staring for a minute or so.
The only movement was from Juan, as he crawled out of Mabel’s hands, ran across the room to the dead machine, and began to gently lick at her face with his saws.
“You killed her.” Mabel whispered.
Wendy lowered the weapon, and sighed.
“You killed her!” Mabel screamed. “Wendy, you murdered Juan’s mom!”
“Not murder!” Wendy snapped, taking a step away from the body. “It’s just an animal! A metal animal at that, and it darn well had it coming!”
“She only wanted her son!”
“She was destroying the house!”
“She’s innocent!”
“She chased me to kill me, she ate our bikes, she fought my dad, SHE MAYBE KILLED MY DAD, and she was coming to kill us here! Mabel, this was the only way!”
As Ford took his magnet gun back, he mumbled something about both of them being right, and something else about endangered species.
Mabel was near to tears as she stepped over to where Juan was licking the bigger machine. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…” She whispered to him, and reached down to pick him up.
But then, he did something that nobody expected.
He sawed Mabel.
She yelped, drew her hand back, and then stood staring at the steady trickle of red pouring from her body. Then she burst into tears. “I’m sorry, Juan!” She wailed. “I’m so, so sorry!!”
Stan rushed forward and dealt Juan a savage kick, which sent him smashing into the wall. Dipper was right behind him, and he pulled Mabel back to safety. Stan went to find the first aid kit. “Shoot that little one, will you Ford?” He asked.
Ford pulled the magnet gun back out.
“I’M SORRY!” Mabel wailed again, and struggled against Dipper’s hold. “I didn’t mean any of this! I STILL LOVE YOU, JUAN!”
Ford leveled the gun. Nobody besides Mabel moved to intervene.
But before he could pull the trigger, the room was filled with a blinding flash of blue light, and everybody recoiled and blinked at the unexpectedness of it.
When their eyes came back into focus, they frowned.
Juan had disappeared.
“WHERE IS HE?!?” Demanded Mabel. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!?”
“I didn’t do anything!” Ford protested. “What was that flash? Who did that? Was that one of you?” He looked at Dipper and Wendy’s blank faces. They shook their heads. “No? Have you ever seen any of these animals teleporting or vanishing before?” They shook their heads again. “Well then what was that?”
“Geez, Ford, it doesn’t matter!” Stan snapped. “That just means one less problem we have to deal with! Now help me get her hand patched up! It’s… Oh, you’re gonna have to look away sweety. Just look away. Does it hurt? Does it hurt bad?”
She just kept sobbing.
Dipper took a step back, realizing there was nothing more he could really do. The Stans were better at this than he was, and he was just so confused…
But then something moved in his peripheral vision. Startled, he turned and saw that the mother robot’s eye had turning back on, and its claws were twitching. “Guys!” He hollered. “She’s not dead! She’s rebooting!”
Its whole body began to twitch. Then it slowly rolled back right-side-up, staggered to its feet, and shook its head. They leveled their weapons again, and Stan moved Mabel out of the room entirely.
But instead of fighting, sawing, advancing, or anything of the sort, the creature just looked around. Its antennae moved about slightly, scanning. When it failed to detect its child, it slowly pulled its front body out of the house, turned around, and stumbled off into the forest. It was moving slowly, and staggering, as if it had just suffered a concussion.
Then it was gone again. Gone, but not forgotten. Gone but not dead.
Not dead.
“I…” Wendy shook her head, and took off her helmet. “I’m sorry guys but I need… Get back to my house… My dad… My dad fought this thing, and maybe he died and… And… Dipper, you coming?”
“Always.”
Suddenly, her phone rang in her pocket. She picked it up with a confused expression, then inhaled sharply when she heard the voice on the other end. “DAD?!?” She gasped. A look of relief passed over her face. “Dad, you’re okay!”
Dipper breathed a sigh of relief too. He’d been scared for her.
“Yeah.” Wendy continued. “Yeah, I know, the magnet gun didn’t work for us either… Yeah, I know. Thanks though. Seriously dad, thanks, I might have I died, I’m so sorry that… Huh…? Wait, if the pulse fried your phone, than whose…? Oh wow. Well I suppose I would have expected nothing less… Yeah, it did follow me here. Probably looking for its kid. Ate Dipper’s bike too… Yeah, like, I know! How many bikes can fit in this thing, right? …Oh yeah. Yeah, we fought it off. It’s gone. Yeah, you probably did soften it up for us… We’re fine though now.”
Wendy’s eyes swept the room, and finally met with Dipper’s. “Yeah.” She repeated. “We’re fine.”
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Comments: 2
Okay, that's a really rad picture that got me hyped for this chapter. And you didn't let me down. The entire last part of the chapter was intense. Poor Mabel, she really is sometimes too good. I imagine there will be damage control to make sure things are fine with her, to find what the heck happened to Juan and of course figuring out what to do with momma deathmachine. Seriously, one needs a breather after that.
Is Manly Dan a graduate of the Captain Haddock School of Cursing?
And yes, the date was awkard. So much so that even though what Mabel and co. did was pretty mean I, like Dipper, could not muster enough anger to get mad. Perhaps our boy should focus less of rich blondes and more on solving mysteries?
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Thanks! Yeah, everyone's gonna need a breather after this. Perhaps everyone will take it as a highter calling.
Manly Dan's cursing is 'borrowed' from the Scotsman in Samurai Jack:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2tl0a…
The two always reminded me of each other.
And yes, solving mysteries will always be more important than rich blondes. There was never a question in such matters.
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