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CrypticIdentity — Vines
Published: 2006-03-05 00:01:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 292; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 26
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Description
Found it strange as I was looking,Walking through the trees of green,
To see a vine suspended there,
Hanging, clinging, draped between
Two trees of rather different nature,
One an elm and one willow,
‘Twas then I wondered, “What is this,
That they should be connected so?”
And as I gazed around the wood,
I saw that there were other trees
That seemed connected by a thread,
A vine that hung and swung in breeze
Cascading through the canopy
Came light, revealing the design
A web of green and leaf and branch
Strung together, vine to vine
The forest green seemed so serene,
The nature felt so still,
That when a creature broke the silence,
I felt an unsettling chill
The creature, clamb’ring up a tree,
Broke a vine, to my dismay
And soon, before my eyes, it fell--
Design undone, and turned to gray
Tangled in the ivy vines,
I tore away from all the pain
And left the place lest I get trapped
And never leave the wood again
~
And now it is that I return
Into this wood of fallen leaves
I see it now; the vines remain
And still connected by the eaves
It seems the creature worked for naught--
The horrid scene that seemed askew
Has been repaired, and each connection
Reformed wholly, made anew
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Comments: 9
An excellent piece of poetry. 
The key line is that question: why are they connected? In a way, that is a question that we all ask sometimes. Why are things connected the way they are? The poem doesn't give a definite answer, but rather a subtle hint; much like nature itself always does.
This was a very intriguing piece, CI. 
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Mm, I really enjoyed reading this – the meter is almost perfect throughout, something extremely hard to do. There were only two noticeable faults: "One an elm and one willow" – the stress in "willow" is on the first syllable, rather than the second, where it would have to be to fit the meter. (Lines 1, 5, and 19 also end on unstressed syllables, but they don't stand out as much.) "I felt an unsettling chill" – "an" and "un" are both unstressed, so there are two unstressed syllables in a row rather than alternating unstressed/stressed.
Those aside, this is great. It's very serene throughout, and also quiet and mysterious. I love the description of the forest, as well as how it sort of repairs itself. Wonderful images... I want to visit this forest...
I can't really imagine this as a song – it sounds much more like something that should stand alone, either being read silently or aloud, so that the meter can be properly appreciated. Because (aside from the aforementioned discrepancies) that really is excellent.
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Thanks, ToM! Yeah, I've been thinking about coming back and fixing it...but you know how we writers have such busy lives...
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U Have A Gift My Friend....
What Are We Gonna Run In Mexico......
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A book/comic/video game/be-your-own-world-overlord store. We'd make millions, of course, with such a diverse audience. Of course, there'd always be that millionaire who'd end up being all four, and then we wouldn't be able to supply him enough, and then he'd totally toast us cause he's rich and an overlord... But I digress.
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That sounds very cool. My eyes opened wide when the creature broke the vine, I do admit. Evil little thing, whatever it was.
It might not work as a song, but it is a very interesting poem. Congrats.
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Thanks for the comment and the fav! Yes, it's quite the evil thing...coming in at the most inopportune moment...
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No problem~
Yeah. It's kinda like reality.
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