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Ddriana β C+H: Dating tips with Commander Shepard
Published: 2012-05-07 09:43:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 22972; Favourites: 399; Downloads: 116
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Shepard, I may be a socially awkward penguin but even I can see that some of your moves are, uh, not optimal.Shepard and dating. It can quickly get really, really awkward. Especially when the dialogue wheel doesn't tell you what, or even how, you are really going to say. Either you wish to say that you are good friends (Kaidan) and Shepard suddenly goes all Lannister twins on you, or you merely want to get to know Jacob and oh dear lord, the voice actress is really flirting, it didn't say it was flirting, I don't want to flirt, what do I do?! D: Made even more awkward by the fact that Mass Effect makes me want to be 100% faithful to Garrus so... yeah. Awkward XD
The Garrus thing you can choose at least, and thank god for that. The idea of losing on purpose to feed my boyfriend's ego is unacceptable (to be fair, Garrus doesn't have a hissy fit if he doesn't win).
Also, a pretend loss is insulting.
Champions and Heroes is a collaboration with and her perfectly good aim, and can also be found here championsandheroes.smackjeeves⦠and on tumblr championsandheroes.tumblr.com/
All hail Bioware.
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Comments: 132
XD i felt like a prick too...though i sneezed when i talked to Jack when she was wondering if i was interested and clicked the wrong option...i was committed to Tali...i feel like if it was real life she would have thrown me into a wall...several times
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Only solution: don't talk to anyone ever.
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That's about right actually. At first it was only Liara I avoided, now it's everyone.
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I agree 100% with everything you said. I hated to talk to Jacob because of that "come hither" tone of femShep, made even worse by Jacob's rude reaction. And a shooting contest for a date that should be romantic? No thanks. I also don't think that Garrus would appreciate it if Shepard patronized him by losing on purpose.
Great comic!
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Well, Garrus takes you shooting even when you're not romancing him, so I suppose he just wants to shoot things with you. But yeah, super patronizing to fake miss :I
Thank you
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To me that's just another reason why it's not a romantic date. It's one thing to have a shooting competition with a friend, but IMHO something like that is all about establishing dominance, which I personally wouldn't appreciate on a date. Especially not when the relationship is still new (and, as far as we know, that was their first date). They shoot things on missions all the time anyway, so why not do something different; something that would bring them closer together? I guess the writers wanted to make Garrus do something that fits his personality, but at the same time, couldn't they have come up with something new for him other than sniping? Well, anyway, I know most people don't share my feelings about it, but it just didn't work for me.
I also didn't like the culmination of the Thane romance in ME2. I don't really understand why they made him cry before the jump through the Omega-4 relay. He's a hardened assassin who's resigned himself to not having much time left; I don't think he'd come crying to you that he's scared of dying. It just wasn't sexy at all. I liked their kiss, though - it was much better than the headbump.
You're welcome and sorry for the long rant.
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I really think the saddest thing about the Garrus romance (and really what I've seen from the other alien romances) is how it's all about human ways of courting. I want to know how turians do it, and I want Shepard to do her best to court him turian style. It feels so uneven and one sided in effort as it is. And think of all the possibilities! A whole different culture! So many options!
Oh man, Thane's crying... wow... I just... men crying and hitting things is just... not prelude to sexy time for me. That's clearly where we need to sit down and talk matters through, maybe cuddle, but... no sexy time. That scene made me super uncomfortable. Kinda like Jack's romance made me quit that playthrough altogether (I played it only to romance her haha) because it was just... whoa she is not in a good place emotionally, how about we take it easy here? Paragon Shepard? Paragon Shepard why are you bulldozing forward? Paragon Shep no, stahp D:
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I guess they didn't want to spend the time and effort to come up with interesting ways to portray the alien cultures and their courtship methods. Or maybe they didn't want to freak out people with weird stuff. 
But now that you mention it, when I first played ME2, I think I was a little disappointed with how human Garrus's efforts were at the beginning of their night together before the Omega-4 Relay jump. The head bump could have been taken as a turian thing, and that idea is now sort of canon in fanfiction, but it was so disappointing that they stopped there. Grr
And yeah, Thane punching the table and crying - no, not sexy at all. For me the bigger problem, though, is that it's so NOT HIM. To me it always seemed like he kept his cool, no matter what, so for him to come crying to you - it's just so out of character. And yes, I don't understand why the writers thought that was a good prelude to a romantic evening. I really wonder how much they know about women and what they like. 
I've never played as male Shep, but I've seen videos of that scene with Jack, and I agree that he should have comforted her instead of taking advantage of her vulnerability and putting his hormons ahead of everything.
I really don't know if the BW writers are that clueless about what women want, or if they like to troll the players (especially the female players). E.g. the cringe-worthy "romance" thing with Jimmy Vega in the Citadel DLC...
Well, I could go on and on about these things, LOL.
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But if I am romancing an alien, surely it is safe to assume that I want the weird stuff? XD
They probably intended him to be vulnerable and open up and show how attached he's gotten to Shepard, but it just... didn't really seem like a hey let's have sex scene and it made everything uncomfortable and awkward haha
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I don't think I actually missed on purpose, my Shepard couldn't hit a blind side of a barn with a sniper rifle.Β I'm a vanguard with my main girl so stampeding into the enemy with a shotgun like a rampaging Krogan is much more style.Β And my Engineer uses a pistol or smg picking off ones once in awhile but mostly sleeping while her droids take care of them.Β So yes I hit miss but that's just because it fits with my girl's character anyway.Β I suck with a sniper.
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Well, they gave us the choice to miss and I just... come on. Making yourself less to make the bloke you're dating happy? Gross. And my first Shepard was a vanguard too, absolute shite with the aim, and I wouldn't have been upset in the slightest if I had missed while actually trying to hit. Alas.
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It would have made sense to have something programmed into the game to track how good you were with a sniper rifle then if you didn't meet a certain level then you missed or maybe use your biotics to hit it or something instead just to be funny.
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Yeah, that would have worked better. But it wouldn't be much bang for the buck, considering the workload that would be necessary to make it work, sadly.
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sniper rifles pfff....nothing for mine shep...if it got not magazine above 50rounds per one trigger pull its not fun
nevermind....really great comics
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My Shepard didn't miss on purpose, even if the dialog wheel said so ... I mean, seriously, Vanguard + sniping?^^Β
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Oh I agree. I just wish that the game would remember how often I actually miss, and I do run around playing with the sniper rifle every now and again even as a vanguard.
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LOL, am I an ass because I did not let him win?
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Neither did I. I refuse to pretend to be less than I am. And if there was any logic Garrus would have won anyway because I was a vanguard and he used that sniper rifle all the time. It wasn't exactly a fair competition.
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We can not deny who we are and let them win when we want to play a fair game
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The game should have calculated how often I miss. That way I would have done my best and Garrus would have won anyway, everybody's happy XD
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Ha LOVED this..
Bioware needs to stop face rolling the romances for women.Β Β Garrus was the best though.
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I'm glad to hear it
Garrus was nice, yes, and I adore Zevran and Morrigan's romances (granted, Morrigan is men only), and SWTOR's Vector, but the ME series left a little to be desired... (like Zaeed, Bioware whyyyyy)
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Zaeed was a romance option? I didn't even bother to buy the DLC.Β Β Kaidan was nice in the first game then they trashed him.Β Really except for Garrus my female Shepard would have had to enter a nunnery.
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He wasn't, much to my frustration 
I didn't much care for Kaidan in the first game, but he grew on me in the third, though there were still some noticeable bumps in the road there. But I agree, hooray for Garrus XD
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Fem Shep.... if there were no Traynor in ME§ she had very wird romances
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Yeah, femShep got shafted in ME3. The sheer number of options aside, femShep can't start a romance in ME3 aside from with Traynor, and Thane dies, and Jacob moves on with someone else :/
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...yeah. there Bioware/EA made some baaad mistakes.
Male Shep has much more luck... and fun
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LOL My Shepard was single the whole ME1, I originally wanted to stay single all game. However, with ME2 I started considering romancing someone. I didn' t really like Jacob, so I ignored him most of the time. When Garrus came along, I tried romancing him, but I can' t just directly flirt with him, I' m too shy, besides Β it' s not my way( my way is talking together for a loooong time, getting to know each other better, and then, if I felt something, I confess my feelings, and hope my crush answers the same) . Now I' m not far from the suicide mission, and I' m not going to play ME3( too many enforced deaths + suckish endings, and I' m a ficwriter, I can make up my own headcanon) . Unfortunately, there are no LIs for such individuals as me.
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That's unfortunate, but then again they can only fit so many romance conversations in there, without compromising the rest of the game
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Well, I kind of managed to estabilish a more - or - less friendly relationship with Thane, but since he' s going to die... I can' t do this. It' s just not possible.
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I tried the Thane romance, but it really wasn't for me. Crying and slamming your fists against tables does not equal sexy time for me :/
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Oh... I guess that would' ve been a personality clash in my story... Because when I' m upset, I can be a crying fist - slammer. And my Shep, despite being a War Hero, has many reasons for angst * spoilers*
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Oh certainly, crying and hitting tables is not strange if you're upset. But it's not what I would consider prelude to sex. It's rather a prelude to comfort and talking about the upsetting issue, so... yeah.
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This is hilarious and your drawing style's great, too.
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Thank you, I'm glad you like it
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the same thing happened to me with jacob I was like "what no no wait I want Garrus not jacob"
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Yeah... the voice actress gets really flirty there, even though there's no indication that it's a flirty line (surely you can want to get to know people without flirting with them?)
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the choices they give are hardly ever what they actually say, which sometimes makes picking a choice harder aha
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Oh yes... I've come to save before any conversation because of that :I
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Flirting in their '80 is certainly not like in our.
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True, perhaps the passage of time and the introduction to alien races and their standards have changed the way humans flirt.
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I like. It was sooo annoying when I was trying to romance Thane and every single time you want to talk to Jacob Shep is all like "I'm just interested in talking for a bit" all mysterious and sultry. And yet the wheel option to start a nice mature, 'I made my mistakes with Kaiden already' romance with A awesome Assassin dude who just finished telling you about his dead wife
"I WANT YOU!"
Not that that was exactly how it comes out in actual dialogue but yeesh!
Granted, I'm a writer, so having a limited amount of dialogue and actions will beg the heck out of me no matter how awesome the game is
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Well, there's a limit to the amount of text (especially text that needs a voice actor to read it) that you can have in a game but... they could have made the transitions smoother there, definitely.
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LOL, this is so accurate! I love the panels with Thane and Garrus!
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