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deckhandnagogo — Loss

Published: 2010-07-14 22:48:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 1550; Favourites: 32; Downloads: 22
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Description ((Late last night, I found out my best friend from my childhood and her mother were killed from a murder-suicide. My brother came into my room at about 1:30 AM and told me and then we woke up my parents. There was something in the back of my mind trying to reason that this would never happen, never happen to them...and yet, when we sat down as a family and went to Google, sure enough, the story was there and the photo of both my friend and her mother was staring right back at us from the screen, each with the smiles I always saw them wearing.

I just now found the updated news story. The mother shot her daughter and then herself. I still can't believe she would ever do this to her daughter...it's so selfish it's unbelievable and is so OOC for her.
[link]

There are still a lot of questions unanswered. Why would her mother leave behind her dream as mayor after serving the community loyally for so many years? Why would she ever kill her daughter whom meant the world to her, weeks after her 19th birthday, after graduating high school, excited about attending the University of Texas at Austin? My mind still races with that one word: "why".

I drove past the house about an hour ago. There were police cars parked in the driveway and yellow caution tape decorating the yard. It looked like a scene from some sort of movie--that's exactly how it feels. The situation is surreal. I'm getting phone calls from friends and the media left and right and the news story itself is broadcasting all over Texas and even New York. Later tonight I am going to drop off flowers and a card and a Pikachu. I still have the Dratini plush she gave me so many years ago and now I will cherish it forever.

The house where the family once lived is empty now. I recall every detail about it from my childhood and years of sleepovers and playdates. I bet the pool with the scary green vacuum cleaner is still there in the backyard, the literal mountain of stuffed animals shoved into a corner of her old playroom must remain frozen in time, and her leather couch/"butt trap" in front of the television where we used to watch Pokemon and Sailor Moon on TV is probably still in the living room, draped in plastic or whatever the hell else detectives cover furniture with when they're trying to investigate a death.

Despite the fact that Corinne's interests moved on and mine didn't over the past few years, we were still friends. I will remember the impact she made on me forever. I am not a religious person but I like to think maybe their family is happily together in that great big place in the sky.

We may never know what went on in her head or why she decided to cut her daughter's life short along with her own. We probably never will. All I know is that my town and family are going to be a wreck for a long time.

Lyrics are from "Friends Never Say Goodbye" by Elton John from The Road to El Dorado soundtrack.

I LOVE YOU CORINNE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART AND WHEN I GO TO UT IN 2011 I WILL HOLD UP TWO HOOK 'EMS: ONE FOR ME, ONE FOR YOU.

**7/14/10, Corinne Peters and the news about her tragic death is ranked as #4 most Googled today. The story is being broadcasted, to my knowledge, nationwide.

I just want to make it clear that while the mother does seem like an insane possessive freak, I want to explain that up until yesterday night she was not always this way. Growing up, I viewed her like another mother and practically lived at her house with how often I went over there. She was really a sweet, caring woman who would do anything for her daughter even though in this incident that seems to contradict itself. She loved Corinne so much and wanted to make sure she and I were always having fun be it during the city 4th of July parade or simply cooking us some macaroni and cheese for lunch.

**It is so, so very important to seek help if you are feeling depressed or to seek help for somebody you believe is feeling depressed. I would not want anybody or their family to have to go through what I have been going through during this very rocky week.

THANK YOU FOR ALL OF Y'ALLS SUPPORT CONCERNING THIS TRAGEDY. YOUR COMMENTS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. ;_____; ))
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Comments: 56

kemeno [2010-08-08 11:16:01 +0000 UTC]

I know the feeling of a loss. I am very sorry this happend. I wish there was more I could say.

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silvaberry [2010-07-27 06:55:45 +0000 UTC]

all i can say is i'm so sorry for loss.
i mean, i don't how to reacte if that happen to my friend.

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Viroro-kun [2010-07-26 21:20:41 +0000 UTC]

((Uh... I'm sorry for you. It's sad that something like that happened to a close friend... I know that is passed some time now, but I feel to write something since I can't just ignore this news. I'm so sorry for you... and I hope I can do something for you, if you need it. Even if we aren't very close friends...))

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Schoolgirl-Conene [2010-07-21 22:54:26 +0000 UTC]

((I'm sorry. I know how you feel, losing someone close to you. ))

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Surgeon-Kuroro [2010-07-19 12:11:42 +0000 UTC]

((A-ah. I'm extremely sorry to hear that this happened to you... Even though this is days late, I read your other journal and am glad to see that you are recovering))

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CabinBoyGobibi [2010-07-17 14:13:06 +0000 UTC]

((...I really don't know what to say other than that I'm desperately sorry.

It does seem that kind of event where you might never know *why*, making it all the more tragic...))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to CabinBoyGobibi [2010-07-17 15:15:37 +0000 UTC]

((Each day new little details are released that give just a bit more insight into the whole thing, but I'm not too happy discovering them. The latest I saw were the 4 notes released which appear to make her mother seem more like a lost lamb than a cold-hearted killer...which in a way, she was lost.))

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worstmate-hikiki [2010-07-16 06:43:58 +0000 UTC]

((I wish I could say something, anything to help try to ease the pain you must be going through, but I'm at a loss for words too. Not being in your position I might not have the right to say this, but even trying to put myself in your shoes...this all really does seem like one gigantic bad dream. On the news and in the paper you hear about these things happening to other people but nobody you personally know, and when it actually does happen...how do you handle something like that? I don't know, I can't even begin to imagine, but this isn't about me.

Swizz, honestly, you are one of the strongest people I know, and I've never even met you in real life. Like Marina, I have faith you'll pull through this, as difficult as it may all be...and you have all of us to count on if you ever need a shoulder to lean on. Ahh proper words to express my sympathies are completely failing me right now, but just know that we're here for you no matter what.))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to worstmate-hikiki [2010-07-16 15:24:13 +0000 UTC]

((Even now three days later, it still really hasn't sunk in that they're gone forever. I don't think it'll ever seem that way, I'll just remember one day away at school "OH I SHOULD CALL-nevermind" but my mother and I are doing all we can for her right now. I wrote her a note, gave her a Pikachu figurine we used to play with and a stuffed hippo because she liked obese animals for some reason. Mom found a childhood picture and got it enlarged at the local photo shop to put on the door and she literally baked cookies and cupcakes all night to provide at the service.

I think the most confusing thing out of all of this is that as the days pass the story runs deeper because some new tidbit of information was discovered. I won't say everything that was newly revealed as it's pretty grisly but the thing that's been eating me as of late was what I discovered last night on the news about how Corinne said she was super excited to be going to UT but as investigators called the university they found out she'd never enrolled or even applied there, though I can't imagine why she'd lie to such a grand scale. Perhaps it is best for me to try and keep away from the news for a while unless it can answer some of my specific questions because it's just introducing more salt into an open wound.

The good news is that going to Japan next weekend will help push me back into my normal routine life again [in a way I guess we scheduled Japan at a really good time]. Really, I can't thank you or everyone else enough for being there for me at this time and if all goes well today at the memorial service I'll get a lot of my grief over with this afternoon and can begin to heal.))

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PandorasBoxofDoom [2010-07-16 03:48:41 +0000 UTC]

I-I'm so sorry that this happen to you Nago. I'm not sure what to type, but I hope your friend is in a better place.
I wish I could give you a hug or something. I just hope your ok.

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deckhandnagogo In reply to PandorasBoxofDoom [2010-07-16 15:12:47 +0000 UTC]

((I know she is in an amazing place, I try to think that she is luckier than most because she gets to experience eternity so early and lots of people have to wait a long long time to get there.))

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PandorasBoxofDoom In reply to deckhandnagogo [2010-07-16 16:58:19 +0000 UTC]

Just think that way. At least someday later in the future you'll see her once again.

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GoombaJoe [2010-07-15 23:32:33 +0000 UTC]

O-oh... wow... I may not know this person but reading through that made my heart ache a little... no, a lot.

Swiz, I'm really sorry... =/ I obviously can't do much to help but... please hang in there, and don't let this get you down too much. I probably can't imagine how tough this is to deal with, but... yeah, just try and hang in there the best you can. We might not talk much but I'll be around on MSN if you need a shoulder to cry on. Both you and Corinne will be in my prayers.

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deckhandnagogo In reply to GoombaJoe [2010-07-16 03:27:47 +0000 UTC]

((Thank you Heffy, if I'm feeling down this weekend I'll be sure and drop you a line.

It's hard for everybody in the town but just like when 9/11 happened, the community will become stronger in spite of such a disaster. We're a really tight-knit town and it is so comforting to know we're all there for each other.))

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SakuraraMii [2010-07-15 23:02:56 +0000 UTC]

(( Oh wow... Th-that's horrible and no one should have to go through that...
I send my love, Nago! <:'3 No doubt she's somewhere wonderful right now. And I bet she's thanking you for being such a good friend. <3 ))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to SakuraraMii [2010-07-16 03:29:00 +0000 UTC]

((Yeah, maybe she's going to angel school instead of college to get her wings. :'D She will make a great angel dentist...if people come to Heaven with bad teeth, that is.))

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SakuraraMii In reply to deckhandnagogo [2010-07-16 04:53:42 +0000 UTC]

((A-angel dentist.. That sounds really cute for some reason 👍: 0 ⏩: 0

NewRecruitTororo [2010-07-15 22:58:47 +0000 UTC]

((Awww, Nago, I'm so sorry... That's a horrible thing to have happen, I hope things get better for you and your family soon. You have my condolences and you'll be in my prayers.
Again, if you ever need someone to talk to, we'll all be in the chat to support you.<3))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to NewRecruitTororo [2010-07-16 03:25:59 +0000 UTC]

((Thank you Toro/TNT, I am so thankful to have you/the chat's support through this. <333 ;___; ))

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SailTender-Sururu [2010-07-15 20:26:31 +0000 UTC]

((I wanted to say something sooner but I was really at a loss for words. I think I know what to say now, though.
First of all, we are all very sorry for you. I know how hard it is to loose someone important to you, (I just lost my grandmother about a month ago, although not anywhere remote to this.) But we also want you to know that if you ever, ever need any support, we are all here for you.

'Hope you can pull through this tragedy, Swizz. We know you can. You're strong.

Sorry if this felt like false support. I'm still kind of lost at this situation. ))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to SailTender-Sururu [2010-07-16 03:23:40 +0000 UTC]

((I will pull through it. Everyone will pull through it, it will just take a while. The old saying "time heals all wounds" is so very very true.))

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Boatswain-Koii [2010-07-15 14:59:38 +0000 UTC]

((I've been itching to say something since I've heard about this but alas...I have no idea what to say. The only thoughts I can sum up have already been said by many others...Actions speak louder than words, and if I could come across the states I would come and give you a hug to show you my support. I can't say that I haven't lost a loved one myself, but it was in no way like this.

I hope you and your family can overcome this. It's a huge loss...but you're strong and I know you can get through it! ))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to Boatswain-Koii [2010-07-15 16:26:07 +0000 UTC]

((It's really hard for me to even find words. There really are none for the events that have taken place because the whole town, the whole country is stunned at what happened. Nobody in Coppell ever saw this coming so it came as a huge shock to our small community.

Yes, somebody needs to invent a screen-to-screen hug or something in the future. And some sort of teleportation what-not.

I know you've been through a big loss too and it was no doubt really hard on you I imagine. But, I see you're here and fine despite it and that makes me hopeful that I am going to eventually get through this too. I'm about to go to Japan and then go to college so hopefully by keeping busy that leaves less time to reflect on this tragedy.))

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DZ-Aladan [2010-07-15 13:24:47 +0000 UTC]

I have seriously no words for this... I always heard similar things in the news and now I got used on them... but... when something hits you so closely, it's completely different and only now you realize what people feels when things like these happens...

I can just say that I'm sorry for what happened. And... well... I don't say other, because I have no words for real.

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deckhandnagogo In reply to DZ-Aladan [2010-07-15 16:28:49 +0000 UTC]

((Yes, exactly. A few years ago as a freshman a girl in my grade was hit by a car in a freak accident and died and I was sad for her and all of her friends, but now I truly understand what it must have been like for everyone who was close to that girl.

Tomorrow I'm going to the memorial service and hopefully saying goodbye will help me step forward in the process to move on.))

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BountyHunterKudada [2010-07-15 08:32:33 +0000 UTC]

((I'm sorry for your loss Nago your friend is in a good place now. It's hard to lose someone close to you but they'll always remain in your heart and someday maybe you'll see that person again

May your friend rest in peace))

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SpazTastic-Gauouo [2010-07-15 08:04:48 +0000 UTC]

(( That ... That's horrible. I curse myself for not seeing this earlier. And, even though this won't make sense, I'm going to post the only words I can utter ... I can imagine how you feel, how Corinne's mother was like a second mother ... I'd feel the same way if that happened to my best friend. I just ... ah, I'm sorry I'm horrible with words. I really am sorry that happened, and if there's a heaven, I hope they're in it. ))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to SpazTastic-Gauouo [2010-07-15 16:22:10 +0000 UTC]

((I was speaking with another mother whose child I'd babysat for years and she said that she knows Corinne is in a better place but she also said she hopes her mother can make it there too one day. All I can hope for is that Corinne died peacefully and immediately and hopefully while she was taking a nap, although I don't know what she was doing at the time.))

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Keronian-Girl-Kurun [2010-07-15 07:12:38 +0000 UTC]

((awww that's terrible, it's a real shame stuff like this happens, but all we really can do is roll with the punches and keep our dearest memories alive))

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Deckhand-Pirarah [2010-07-15 04:27:00 +0000 UTC]

(( I don't really know what to say, because there are no words for this. No matters which were chosen and in what order, they couldn't possibly describe anything related to this.

So in the end, I can only think of this.
I'm sorry this happened, and even more so that it happened in a way that would affect you this directly. You're one of the strongest and most determined people I know and yet you always manage to cheer others up just by your presence. In a better world, things like these shouldn't be able to happen to anyone, least of all people with that rare spark of light..

But this isn't that kind of world, to our grief and despair. So in times like this, I can only lend a shoulder if you need one to cry on, and my attention if you want to talk.

Anytime. ))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to Deckhand-Pirarah [2010-07-15 04:43:37 +0000 UTC]

((Like I said, bad things happen to good people. In this case, the bad thing happened to two good people too many and there is no explanation for it.

Something like this needed to happen in my life so that I could learn how to cope with the overwhelming emotion especially considering I am almost living on my own. I did not wish for it to happen to me and certainly I did not wish for it to happen to close family friends, but there would have come a point in my life where a disaster like this would have happened and I would have needed to know how to pull myself together. It is a learning experience for everybody.

It will be a long road to recovery and from now on I will not be able to set foot on UT's campus without thinking of Corinne and her mother. But, I will keep pursuing my education at that university because Corinne would not have wanted me to quit chasing my dreams at my dream university because of her.

I am extremely thankful for the massive amount of support this community offers. If I do end up breaking down or something during these next few days I will poke you on MSN.))

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Traveler-Pippi [2010-07-15 03:29:03 +0000 UTC]

((I'm so sorry, this brought me to tears. Yes, here in New York, there is a broad cast about it. I'm crying for both of you. Just like you, I am not very religious. But I pray for her in heaven. Must of been hard to hear your friend's been murdered, driving up to her house. Even though you two walked separate ways as you grew older. But really, all I can say is; "Wow, the's is terrible." Wish her luck up there, good peace.))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to Traveler-Pippi [2010-07-15 04:25:43 +0000 UTC]

((It really is unreal how my small town is now one of the number one news stories in the country. I hope that by broadcasting it to such a wide audience people will see how great of a person Corinne was and maybe we can start some sort of foundation in her name someday.

I do regret talking to her less these past few years. It might have just been a conflict of interests but we were still friends and would have always been friends. I thank her for all of the wonderful memories she has given me and I will never forget her and all of the lives she touched in her comparatively short time in this world.))

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Cyborg-Viper [2010-07-15 02:10:24 +0000 UTC]

(( I-I'm really sorry for your loss... I don't know how it feels to lose a loved one... but I bet it's horrible. *hugs* I bet your friend's looking down upon this picture down from "the great big place in the sky" and that she's feeling the same as you. I guess her mother didn't want to leave her in the world and wanted to spend time with her daughter up 'there' but that's my guess.
Best wishes to you and I hope you get better. ))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to Cyborg-Viper [2010-07-15 04:05:51 +0000 UTC]

((I've had a grandparent pass away before but I was significantly closer to this girl than I was to him. It is not an easy feeling to describe...first it's shock as to "why would someone even consider doing this?" then it's anger as to "why did she have to take her daughter's life, this isn't fair!" and then pain, sadness, and general disbelief. It's very very hard to deal with such a massive amount of emotion but I have found comfort in all of the phonecalls and support from my friends, IRL and on here and of course the medium of art. On Friday I will be going to the funeral to say goodbye and finally gain some closure on the matter.))

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Cyborg-Viper In reply to deckhandnagogo [2010-07-15 04:14:41 +0000 UTC]

(( I see...
Good luck with dealing with all those emotions <: 0 and hope you don't take it too hard.
And besides... everything has to go away sometime in your life, right? No matter how hard it is to let go... ))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to Cyborg-Viper [2010-07-15 04:21:19 +0000 UTC]

((Yeah. My mom said it is a good thing I am occupied with other things too right now to keep me busy such as babysitting and preparing for my trip to Japan in a week. It will just take time, I'm not sure how long, but the pain will never fully go away. It'll just die off over time but the fact that she is gone will always be there. It's just how to cope with such a tragedy that is hard for someone like myself who has not experienced such a loss before.))

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Kiwuwu [2010-07-15 01:13:40 +0000 UTC]

(( I just saw this on my computer's home page. I didn't know her, but this is making me cry right now because I can feel the sadness in your words.... Im so sorry for your loss Nago and if there is anything at all that I can do to help you just tell me because, even though I can't begin to even understand how you feel I want to do the best I can to help you, even if its just to give you space if you need it. Were all here for you Nago and Ill pray for you and your friends family. Im 100% percent sure your friend is in a beautiful place now.. ))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to Kiwuwu [2010-07-15 03:40:15 +0000 UTC]

((It's everywhere, unreal that this story has exploded all over the US.

Thank you for your kind words and prayers, Kiwu, every little bit helps I swear.))

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Kiwuwu In reply to deckhandnagogo [2010-07-15 04:06:11 +0000 UTC]

(( Its the least I can do. But I want to do the mst I can so, Once again, Im ust a note away if you ever need somebody. C: Welu, Nago. <3))

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Carpenter-Nijiji [2010-07-15 00:43:04 +0000 UTC]

((I...I just don't know what to say. I can't even imagine how it must be like, to lose someone close to you. But it must be an awful feeling. If there's anything we can do for you, let us know. All your friends care about you. I'm always willing to help.

May your friend rest in peace. I know that family is somewhere up there, finally together again.))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to Carpenter-Nijiji [2010-07-15 03:26:05 +0000 UTC]

((That is what I try to think about, that they are a happy family in Heaven and maybe hopefully years upon years from now we'll see each other again on the flipside. ))

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WandererEruru [2010-07-15 00:01:42 +0000 UTC]

((Oh... Jesus Christ... I am... so sorry... Words cannot express how sympathetic I am of you. This... sounds like it's going to be very hard on you. I just... can't even imagine what you must be going through, but please, let me know if you need something, anything from me. Someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on... Whatever it is, I will be glad to support you.

I really am sorry for you. Someone who is as awesome as you should not have to go through this, but it would make me feel better if you had me help you (IF you felt well enough to talk about it with me), because I am concerned and I genuinely want to help you. If you do not feel like you need me... I will GLADLY give you your space so long as you specify that that is what you need.

I'm sorry if I am not good with words, but in a nutshell, I am fond of you as my friend (even if you do not feel that I am your friend) and will always be glad to help. You deserve comfort and support, Swizz, especially right now. You're far too wonderful to face this situation alone.

-Eruru ))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to WandererEruru [2010-07-15 03:23:43 +0000 UTC]

((I'm thankful to know I can talk with people about it. It's certainly not easy to deal with and it's been a really really long day of phonecalls and news reports.

It's an awful tragedy and everyone in town is confused right now. All we can hope for are more answers/tips from some of the last people they talked to. I would feel better knowing about Mrs. Jayne's attitudes as her close family would describe it. She hid her...what sounds like deep depression, away from the world for so long and I guess she just snapped. People are beginning to wonder if she had agreed to suicide but she had so much to look forward to, college, vacations, etc and she had so many friends that she would be leaving behind. I don't think the death of her father 2 years ago impacted her as deeply as it did her mother which is why I believe that may have something to do with the incident.))

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RuffianKansusu [2010-07-14 23:10:17 +0000 UTC]

(( D'8> oh my god that's horrible! I don't know how you could possibly cope with something so tragic but I respect you for it, and I'm sure your friend would be very happy you dedicated such a beautiful piece of art to her ))

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deckhandnagogo In reply to RuffianKansusu [2010-07-15 03:18:36 +0000 UTC]

((I'm making a sort of "package" of stuff that was sentimental to us and putting it outside the door to their house. It's closure in a way.))

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TheBLUGineerGirl [2010-07-14 23:03:33 +0000 UTC]

Ah... Damn... That's... really sad. I feel sorry for you, I really do..

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Dobiba [2010-07-14 23:01:53 +0000 UTC]

*hugs* -is speechless-

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TheShadedFox [2010-07-14 22:57:57 +0000 UTC]

I know it won't really help, but I am incredibly sorry. If you need an ear, you can just send me a message.
Oh, and BTW, the artwork is beautiful. Even without the story behind it, I think it's just gorgeous.

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deckhandnagogo In reply to TheShadedFox [2010-07-15 03:12:15 +0000 UTC]

((Thanks for the support, I'm glad to know I have other friends to contact if these next couple of days turn out really rough.))

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