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DestinyBlue — Thanks for your Support
Published: 2015-06-01 17:21:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 34968; Favourites: 171; Downloads: 0
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I never expected the response I received by sharing my story and artwork about living with depression and anxiety: 

www.facebook.com/DestinyBlue/p…

I couldn't have imagined I would get so much support, and hear from so many different people. I am so grateful and, truth be told, little overwhelmed. I've read every single comment (it took days XD) and replied to many, but it's because I can't reply to everyone personally that I wanted to write this and send my sincerest thanks to you all.

It took me a long time before I was able open up about my struggles with mental health, even to myself, and it's was a tough decision to share my darkest times publicly. But I'm glad I did, because I truly believe by making mental health issues more visible, open and talked about, we can reduce the stigma and deepen understanding and compassion around them. So I especially appreciate if you shared your story or mine.

I can see how mental illness is especially hard to understand if you have never experienced it, because before I developed troubles with my mental health I didn't really understand it, I actually thought I would never be susceptible to it. I was optimistic, strong willed, determined, I thought of depression as more a sadness than a sickness. Then I became depressed, and I kept being optimistic, strong willed and determined, but then the goal posts changed, it took a strong will to just get out of bed in the morning, it took determination to go to the shop and get food, I was optimistic I would feel normal again, so I didn't kill myself. But I do believe it can be understood by those who don't experience it, perhaps not in exactly the same way, but in the way that we feel compassion for someone physically ill, and with education, things like saying 'cheer up' to someone with depression will be regarded like saying 'walk it off' to a paraplegic.

Things are getting better for me now and it is because I am feeling more well and stable that I am able to talk about it. I could never have dreamed of opening up like this while I was caught in the tar. I couldn't even open up a washing machine!
I was amazed at how many people said 'Thank You' to me, even though I offered no real advice or 'what to do' wisdom, just sharing my story helped. But I get it now, just having someone else talk about an experience similar to yours makes you feel less alone. I know this now because you shared your stories with me, so thank you, for making me feel less alone

(I want to send a massive fuck you to the guy who told me to kill myself... But I'll send love, because you have to be in a pretty dark place to say something like that. I know shits good with me because I don't feel upset for myself, I feel upset for him, he almost certainly has his own demons he battles, one which perhaps run even darker than mine)

Thank you everyone, lets keep the conversation going!

Peace, Love and Compassion,
Blue xx

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Comments: 174

bolachinha [2015-06-21 12:04:13 +0000 UTC]

We all are here for you,Blue !*hugs* I glad things are getting better now and remenber,you are not alone. =3

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kayla4799 [2015-06-15 23:46:46 +0000 UTC]

It's always nice being able to open up to people and having them understand what you're going through/have been through. I'm glad you've been able to open up about it ^^

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Wazzule [2015-06-15 12:23:21 +0000 UTC]

  Thank you for sharing your story, it means a lot and I reckon your story will one day allow people to understand depression more. I especially liked what you said 'things like saying 'cheer up' to someone with depression will be regarded like saying 'walk it off' to a paraplegic.' It really puts depression into context, something with meaning and hopefully something that others that don't suffer the same thing can understand.

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F1red1ce [2015-06-14 12:10:40 +0000 UTC]

Within seconds of seeing your art i was in tears. After reading this i know why. Felt the same way for over 25 years. Thankyou for sharing your art and story. Keep sharing your beauty, keep fighting the pain. 

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cybercorpsesnake [2015-06-14 10:36:38 +0000 UTC]

Good to hear you are getting better

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LufiaHime [2015-06-13 04:11:22 +0000 UTC]

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. I can say that I too have felt the same way. not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to go out into social surroundings. I don't have many friends hardly any at all. So i dont have many people to talk to, when it comes to venting. Iam a happy go lucky person on the outside but like your drawings describe it's just a fake smile on my face. I can always appear to be optimistic but the inner me is very pessimistic. I have also thought about suicide but like you said you had the feeling of getting better. I keep all my feelings inside because i feel that if I was to a tell other people they would say the exact same thing as that guy did "you should go kill yourself" Its just hard to talk about it sometimes. but anyway that was my story. again thank you for sharing your story. :3

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Nightshot33 [2015-06-12 08:11:08 +0000 UTC]

And now you have another random person to add to the pile! I originally saw your art on the 'similar to' thing on a friends artwork and I liked the art style. Then i read the description and seeing as you disabled comments, I came to your profile to say that you had my support. Then I saw that you posted this, so I think it would be more suited to posting here. I'm happy you have managed to deal with it. 

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Sa-mmy [2015-06-10 19:45:58 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for sharing

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isoycrazy [2015-06-07 11:06:59 +0000 UTC]

Hurray.  I am glad you are feeling a little better.

Please remember, you are not alone.

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DragonSkyNocturne [2015-06-07 06:34:28 +0000 UTC]

It's good to see you are feeling better, don't let the others make you upset

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smilekeeper [2015-06-06 23:36:56 +0000 UTC]

Whoever that guy is... ugh.  -.-'
Go let your soul bake in some nice sunlight for awhile get some natural Vitamin D, go to a chilled shaded area and chill your crap out.
Stupid insults to someone trying to share their own experience and such..
You're right fellow deviant it is probably somebody in a rough situation that just wants to hurt someone else.
Probably just a troll anyways.

Anyways,
stay creative fellow deviant!

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MoriElaina [2015-06-06 03:59:59 +0000 UTC]

Even though I haven't fought your kind of battle I still get small moments and understand fully and judge you not....but I'm still baffled by the guy you spoke of at the end of the journal...im sorry he said that and i feel like you too. I guess he hasn't admited he has a problem lol.

I'm happy you are doing better too. Keep it up dear!

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Punzie-the-princess [2015-06-05 12:37:05 +0000 UTC]

It will be OK girlie! I've felt similiar and some days are better than others we all love you!

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Arrowman64 [2015-06-05 01:01:59 +0000 UTC]

 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 

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jadetyle [2015-06-04 01:59:27 +0000 UTC]

You are so brave and strong to survive and share this, it really brings a lot of hope to those struggling with similar situations, so thank you. 
Every person's experience is different, but I understand the type of pain and struggle there is living with depression and thoughts of suicide. It's a heavy topic of course, but like you said, it makes it better and makes more of a difference just to be able to talk. 
To be honest I didn't know for a long time what that feeling was, and didn't take my own feelings seriously until I took a psychology class where they taught us how to define different types of depression. I'm afraid I'm not quite as brave as you to share my story yet, I'm still struggling, but it's stories like your's that gives me hope to stay optimistic. 
I'm sure you've heard this countless times already, but your words and arts hold so much meaning, you have so much talent and wisdom, you are so strong and amazing and dearly loved by all the people around you. I'm so happy to hear that you are doing better and hope life will treat you well. Stay strong, you have all of our support. Thank you so much for being a truly inspirational person. 

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PencilLedAndPaper [2015-06-03 22:57:05 +0000 UTC]

I know how it feels, and I am very happy for you to get better. . But its hard to get rid of, and few times we doubt ourselves and feel like a giant pile of shit for not saying anything, like myself, and it just keeps coming up. So this is a thanks from your words, and keep it up, someday you will be even better! 😁

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Tadewii [2015-06-03 19:52:54 +0000 UTC]

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CaramelSoda [2015-06-03 18:39:52 +0000 UTC]

Ive had slight depression evn though Im an optimist person. But Im oka now 😃😄 and its cool to hear someone has gone throught the same even thought idea of anyone having depresion is awful 😞

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uumbrella [2015-06-03 10:57:53 +0000 UTC]

Oh, I'm so glad to hear it's getting better! <3 You seem a wonderful person and your art is Super amazing <3 !  Keep going!! <3

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Sharquelle [2015-06-03 10:25:01 +0000 UTC]

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dimundi-official [2015-06-03 09:45:30 +0000 UTC]

I'm really glad you're feeling better! We may seem weak to some people, but the truth is that we are in fact heroes!

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Wonderland-Rebel [2015-06-03 07:45:49 +0000 UTC]

I think people have to have traits like a strong will, determination, optimism, amongst others to be able to cope with such horrific mental problems. Just because of I'm ill doesn't mean I never ever smile or laugh or joke around, it's those little moments of happyness that I have to find and hope for and work on increasing.

It's terrible that mental health is such a stigmatised thing, but there's nothing really that can be done except raise awareness. Some people however will always be narrow minded.

Even now, to post this very comment I had an OCD thought telling me not to and I had to go and do my asking for reassurance rituals. Ironic in the cruel sort of way.

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goodwifecole [2015-06-02 23:49:43 +0000 UTC]

Your work is amazing. I have been struggling with depression for so long..... good days and ok days. The weather changes are the worst. I feel for your struggle so much.
It is incredible how you have taken these feelings and mood shifts and materialized them for all to see. You are a gifted artist and your work is stunning. The fact that you can do this means tons.

Thank you. Stay strong. You and a ton of us followers are in this together.

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naturechild02 [2015-06-02 22:20:05 +0000 UTC]

I think that this is why your work means so much to so many of us: it expresses those deep, dark feelings that some people just can't understand.
Some of us walk that inky path too, just remember that. Maybe we can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel through the haze of pain, but knowing that there is someone there with us, that we aren't alone, can help us struggle on. You reached out your hand in the dark and we reached back.
Let's navigate this horrible place together.

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Gummybearbubble89 [2015-06-02 22:04:47 +0000 UTC]

Thank god, I don´t have those problems. Anymore. I didn´t thought that you have those problems. Why? Let me see... you´ve got talent. A lot. And you should love yourself for that. It´s what I had to learn. Years ago I had some problems with my younger sister. I was jealous. She´s the one beautiful person that shows up above all others. And very good at school. Me not. -That´s what I thought.  Problems to learn for school, problems with my body. But all the time I just saw what I don´t have and forgot all things that I could do very good. The point is everyone has to find his or herself a precious person. It took me some time but now I´m fine. 
And I just want to say, I so love your pictures. Not just what you want to tell with them but how you do it. You´ve got skill. A lot. Maybe there´s something you want to do but can´t. But everyone has this problem more or less. 
Always think "It could have been worse" Stay strong and creative. You´ve got something like a fan in germany

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DonJohrian [2015-06-02 19:16:02 +0000 UTC]

Depression is almost always about desperation, hopelessness, loneliness and holding on to the past. Some day you'll realize that past is past, and you won't be able to change it. If you realize this, you're able to let go of old grudges for they are only destroying you.
It's good to feel sorry for someone, instead of hating him/her - hate won't help you and only destroys you (keep repeating, sorry ^^).
Overcoming loneliness is really tricky, because you have these phases, where you want to see someone but also be alone at the same time. Good friends and support from your family are really important in these phases

Overcome Desperation and hopelessness ? That is really tricky and, imho, is a major problem of today's society, because we're flodded with images of "how we should look" and other superficial stuff + many people have lost their connection to God, which leads to hopelessness.
I found a way to overcome these feelings (see my signature) if they appear, but many people have yet to find the way.

But what I really wanted to say: It's great that you're getting better and keep fighting

God bless !

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chonosis In reply to DonJohrian [2015-06-02 21:10:28 +0000 UTC]

Depression does not deal in the past. It takes place in the present. You are stuck in the constant pain of the present. You can't think of the past or future. Not to sound harsh, but you are making it out to be like someone is depressed due to a reason, but that is rarely the case for clinical depression.. except for situational depression.

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DonJohrian In reply to chonosis [2015-06-02 22:01:10 +0000 UTC]

There is always a cause for being depressed: Genetics, metabolism - and psychological traumas and distress. Sometimes in combination. A depression just doesn't come 'out of the blue'.

PTSD for example: A soldier who comes back from a war experienced heavy trauma (explosions, gun fire, dying friends, maybe even own physical trauma) and this will affect his whole life, because it has changed his personality. Or a firefighter who saw people dying in a burning building (sorry for the drastic pictures by the way) will always be traumatized by this - unless he gets psychological help. Same goes for the soldier.

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SavageMane In reply to DonJohrian [2015-06-03 08:13:57 +0000 UTC]

The problem I believe is that while there may always be a cause, said cause is usually not readily apparent. The examples you have given are of very easily identifiable causes, but a lot of the time, it can be due to a combination of many different things that have happened, or of more subtle things, such as constant criticism by a peer or friend.

I mean, you have only to read Blue's original post to realise that people with depression sometimes don't even realise it, until something major happens.

As for your original comment, giving solutions to depression rarely works. While hate and holding onto the past are active choices that we make, depression goes beyond that, and is a medical condition. You cant just say "Stop being depressed."

I don't mean to sound like I'm lecturing you. I believe you have good intentions. And I honestly envy that you still believe in God, as it was my change to agnosticism that has caused me some mental and emotional stress. But depression has no simple solution, and as I've said in my comment earlier, the best way to help someone to to simply be there and give support.

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DonJohrian In reply to SavageMane [2015-06-03 12:16:09 +0000 UTC]

Completely agree.  Overcoming depression is indeed very difficult and it can accompany you your whole lifetime. But there are still possibilities to at least 'dampen' or even completely overcome it - this is completely individual though and you can't do it without help and support, as you already said.

Let me tell you something: Until last tuesday, I've been an anti-theist during the last two years for several reasons (feel free to read my journal, if you want). And now I can say that, in this phase, I'd been in the midst of a severe depression (thoughts of suicide, misanthropy, extreme anger, extreme sadness etc.). But then I'd read a book which had been lying around in my room for at least a year (if not more) - and it has changed my life.

Please, don't be envious, that's not good. Be glad, that you still want to believe I think, that people like you will have this 'trigger'-moment I mentioned sooner or later which will lead them back to God

I've not completely recovered though (if I ever will) and still have minor battles to fight at some moments, but it has become much better.

Take care and God bless

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SavageMane In reply to DonJohrian [2015-06-03 13:06:30 +0000 UTC]

Don't take this the wrong way, I was Christian up until two years ago, but its not that I want to believe again. The change to agnosticism was due to my skeptical nature not allowing me to accept those teachings anymore, for my own reasons. But I have had to ask questions that, when you are part of a religion, are answered for you, and I could not come up with any good answers. This has been extremely troubling to me, and has led to dark thoughts.

When I said I was envious, I was referring to the fact that people who have religion can take comfort in the answers that are provided to them. When all is said and done, I'm happy for you to have been able to overcome your depression to a degree, and make a change for the better, and I hope for all the best for you.

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DonJohrian In reply to SavageMane [2015-06-03 20:43:23 +0000 UTC]

"This has been extremely troubling to me, and has led to dark thoughts."
Sad to hear - really. How are you doing now ?


I'm happy for you to have been able to overcome your depression to a degree, and make a change for the better, and I hope for all the best for you

Thank you very much ! All my best wishes and all blessings to you  

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SavageMane In reply to DonJohrian [2015-06-04 16:31:15 +0000 UTC]

Im coping well, all things considered. It was mostly brought on from a lot of stress from uni.

Youre welcome, and you too ^.^

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AzumetaPraline [2015-06-02 16:26:43 +0000 UTC]

I'm so happy you're getting better! I've never experienced it but I'm sure this is very hard and people who get out of it are very strong.

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pandaponda3 [2015-06-02 15:52:09 +0000 UTC]

It's nice. It's so very nice to see this much support. I almost thought there was gonna be specks of hate, but surprisingly, there is none. Your words are so transparent, I can understand them clearly. And I relate to them, too. You have a wide variety of pictures and all are just so talented! I'm glad to see people weathering the storm with love and "Happy Birthdays". Happy late birthday, Blue, and I wish you the best

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pandaponda3 [2015-06-02 15:51:35 +0000 UTC]

Every night , someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.

At least fifteen people in this world love you.

The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

There are at least two people in this world that would die for you.

You mean the world to someone.

Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look.

Always remember the compliments you've received.

Forget the rude remarks.

So if you are a loving friend, send this to everyone on your list including the person that sent it to you.

Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you.

Something good will happen to you between 12 in the morning and four o'clock pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere..............

Get ready for the biggest shock of your life

If you break this chain YOU will be cursed with relationship problems for the next ten years.

Send this to fifteen people in fifteen minutes !!

Make Someone else's day! Help get a smile on someone's face! Help someone out! Remember that your loved!

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KingofBrindilles [2015-06-02 15:44:24 +0000 UTC]

I have the same problems :3 just keep fighting <3
Love :*

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SavageMane [2015-06-02 15:29:53 +0000 UTC]

I was going through my inbox, and responded to the picture before I saw this comment, so I might summarise my comment, so you dont have to read both.

I have never experienced depression personally (although I haven't exactly been in a great mental state lately), but I've had multiple friends who have. One who is currently still battling it my my best and oldest friend. Through her, I've gained an appreciation for what people with depression go through, if not a complete understanding. I have learnt that something that may seem trivial to those without depression, can cause great distress to those who do. I have also learnt that if they come to you with something troubling, it means they REALLY trust you, and if you dismiss the problem, it could crush them. 

So, you have my sympathies, and my congratulations for making it through what you have. We are all here for you.

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DonJohrian In reply to SavageMane [2015-06-02 19:00:03 +0000 UTC]

Well said.

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d4rkslayer [2015-06-02 14:42:31 +0000 UTC]

Glad to know this! Remember you have a lot of people supporting you, including me ;D

and, in case you didn't read it before, search for info on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Hope you find it helpful  

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CatherineDaydreamer [2015-06-02 10:55:02 +0000 UTC]

So happy for you dear!

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SoraTheBlackLotus [2015-06-02 10:49:57 +0000 UTC]

Damn my school's restriction.

Honestly, all of your art showed you have depression. That's a big reason why I watched you; so I can see that there's someone I can relate to. Your art's awesome of course, don't get me wrong, but just knowing there's others with the same shit I got makes me feel a little more accepted. 

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IWantToBeEmmaPeel In reply to SoraTheBlackLotus [2015-06-02 20:32:35 +0000 UTC]

I agree with you. The first (and only so far) time I met Blue, I pointed at the print of the girl with the butterfly and said, "That one's about recovery, isn't it?" She just kinda smiled and I felt so happy and sad at the same time. Happy because someone else understood, sad because she'd been through it too.

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SoraTheBlackLotus In reply to IWantToBeEmmaPeel [2015-06-03 10:37:58 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I get that. It's never fun, but at least there's a herd you can vent off of.

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Labrug [2015-06-02 09:54:50 +0000 UTC]

I have nearly finished my blog series on my experiences, and I have to say opening up, while frightening at first, has been the best thing I have ever done. Not only have I received a lot of support, I have learnt about so many other people going through similar experiences, and we have been able to learn from each other.

Congratulations on coming this far.

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panda-pencils [2015-06-02 09:41:39 +0000 UTC]

Oh my gosh you deserve the world for getting this far!! You're very VERY strong and YES I want to say thank you for sharing your story! I'm more aware and the problem feels more realistic, even though I've never suffered something like this, I understand that much more because of you. 
You are so strong, and even if you feel like you're gonna fall, just remember everyone here (except that one dipshit who told you to kill yourself) is here for you.

You go sweets, you go   

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AzurinArt [2015-06-02 08:33:37 +0000 UTC]

<3

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Selphie142 [2015-06-02 08:14:38 +0000 UTC]

We will always be here for you. <3

And it was great to see you at MCM, and I'm gonna some see you at the next one! I actually make a point to come say hello to you at conventions. It's a highlight of my visit.

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AveryHayes [2015-06-02 07:43:32 +0000 UTC]

Haha, what timing for a journal from you.. I'm going back to a therapist for the first time in five years later today. You thank us for our support, but just by doing as you said - making mental illness visible - you make it easier to talk about our own illnesses, and in doing so support the heck out of us. So thank YOU, for your art, your work, your mindset... <3

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DemonOfTheCakeXx [2015-06-02 07:07:36 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for continuing to be an inspiration and I wish you all the best. I hope that guy finds this and realised just how sick he is, no one has the right to tell someone else to kill thenselfs no matter the situation. Stay strong and continue to be the amazing person you are xx

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