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DestinyBlue — Update
Published: 2016-03-16 17:48:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 107279; Favourites: 7654; Downloads: 628
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You might have noticed I've got back to drawing and posting art recently (like this little pencil sketch I colour in ^) and people have been asking for an update of how I'm doing
Briefly, if you don't know, I've been ill since November. Mental health. I've needed to be hospitalised twice for psychosis/depression/suicidal ideation. It's been an, uh, crazy few months. I've gone as far down the rabbit hole as anyone wants to go, and then some. And here I stand at it's exit, a little blinded by the sunlight, but delighted to be facing the real world again.
There is still not enough ground between me and the hole. My legs wont let me run yet, so I have to walk slowly, treading carefully, feeling with my feet, one step at a time. I'm at a good distance now. Far enough that I dare look back, and see the hole, smaller. One day it will be so far away it will be only a freckle, a blemish on my skin showing where I've been.
It's now been a whole month since I left hospital. Which sounds like a lot, but each fragile step has been tough, though in the right direction. I've just been officially discharged by Treatment Team, who were seeing me daily at home. Everyone seems pleased with my progress. ~Myself included!
Thank you everyone for being there during the darkest time in my life. The fact that so many people have been caring supportive and compassionate means so much to me. It makes me feel like the world is stuffed full of good people, trying their best through tough times, supporting each other. Your kindness and light gives me hope that in the future mental health will be better understood and treated by society.
I want to apologies to everyone who I haven't got back to, or replied to. I have so many unanswered messages and so many lose threads which I now have to tie up...
I've now almost finished writing the full story of what happened, grim details and all. It's so in depth I've had to break it down to several parts, I'm drawing some artwork to go with it too. It's hard, but talking about or experiences with mental illness is already winning part of the battle. I've lost a lot of my life to this illness. I feel like I am at least giving something back by talking about it.
So yep, very happy to report I'm out of the rabbit hole and making my way to firmer ground,
One, step, at, a, time.
Peace, love and Footprints,
Blue xx
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Comments: 644
Wow...heh...I didn't actually think you'd respond... 😳😅
Well, anyway you truly are one of my favourite artists on this site so-far and I would hug you if I could.
But hey, all I can do now is tell you to stay strong and not give up.
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The pain in your art is so beautiful. I remember how badly it hurts to not feel anything, to want it to end. Don't. You're so loved, even by people you have never met. thank you for this update.
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I'm glad you're doing much better and I hope and pray you continue to improve.
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I'm so glad you're doing fine ^^ You're an awesome person, and such a huge inspiration to many :3 Anyways stay strong i know you can do it!
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Heya,
Just wanted to give you some support.
I know how hard mental illnesses can be. I am struggling with it myself too.
That's why I know it's seriously important that you take some time off.
Give yourself some rest, go do fun stuff that make you happy, be sure to meet up with people but start off with short periods at a time because it can be mentally really challenging to be around others for a whole day. Be sure not to get stressed over anything. But really, just take your rest and do everything your own way. It's not selfish, this is the time when you should really just think about yourself for a while. Be honest with people, tell them you're too tired or not feeling mentally strong or well enough to do something, they will understand.
Please take good care of yourself. Mental illnesses can sometimes be even harder than physical ones.
I hope everything will be all right again, I wish you the best of luck and strength you need.
And I do want to add I really love your art, you express your feelings so well in them.
Take care <3
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Great drawing!
I'm glad you've gotten out of the rabbit hole. And I truly hope you won't fall there anymore. But even if that would happen, there are people who care for you and we are here to support you. Many hugs for you. 
I love your art and I'll continue loving your art. Take your time with things. Step by step, slowly, is a good way to move on. We aren't in a rush after all. :')
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Thank God your fine I was scared hugs destiny blue BTW my name is destiny it's nice to meet u
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I am so very pleased and over joyed to hear that you are doing better. I am glad the community is here to help you with your walk of life. Thank you for being you and being so kind. Have a wonderful day every day and every year. 
P.S. Your work has helped me so much. I can never thank you enough. So please, always be awsome in the true sense of the word. For you inspire "awe" like no one else. THANK YOU!!!
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So happy you're feeling better, gradually and slowly, Blue. Feel free to contact me any time if you need support. I've been there. Here for you! xx <3
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It's good to hear your doing better. We believe in you!
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I love to hear that you are feeling better now, and I pray that you will continue feeling better and better.
Keep up the wonderful work that you do. You're an amazing person and you can do it. You can make it through anything.
<3
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I have depression/suicide thought/anxiety. I close too to end my life yesterday during my live on FB. My some friends and teacher ask me, if i'm ok. But, i don't reply to them. My brain told me, " Pls kill yourself bc your friends careless of u. " I feel want to kill myself. But, i refuse. I tried to kill myself with small knife. But, i anger and threw it into my door.... My mental health is bad down this week. But, i need to talk my therapy this Friday. I have most scars on my left arm bc i harm myself when i cut my left arm. Btw, i'm deaf. But, i don't think if you have mental health as same as me... I dunno?
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I'm glad you have a therapist you can talk to, please make sure you tell them all these things you are thinking, even if they are really hard to open up about, that's what your therapist is there for.
Don't be afraid of going to the hospital is you need more immediate help though. I have a box which I keep under by bed, that has lots of little things which remind of of good memories, times or people. I get it out and look at it when I am having negative feelings of thoughts, I feel it helps me come back into the light, and reminds me of happy times when I find it hard to find happiness.
Perhaps you could work on a strategy with your therapist about what you could do when you feel his way.
Good luck to you, sending lots of love x
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Keep on going
And If you ever need someone to talk to, let me know okay?
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I'm very glad you're feeling better! You are a strong person, keep going!
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I have a question.
How do I come out as suicidal/ a self harmer to my therapist and family?
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I don't know about your family, but it would probably be good to talk to your therapist about that. Being depressive myself, I know that there is a barrier that comes between me and falling further down the rabbit hole when I've opened everything to someone else, even if I don't trust them completely. Therapists you can trust, I feel. You'd have to figure out with your therapist.
In the end, you should tell someone who knows how to help you with it. Your therapist is your best bet.
I'll be rootin' for ya. You'll make it through.
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What should I say?
Also, the law here requires that my therapist tells my family.
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Explain what you're feeling. Explain the thoughts you are having. Trust that they're going to try to help and support you through this. I doubt that they're bad people. Also, if there is someone you hang out with frequently that you trust (online or otherwise), talking to them about it can also really help.
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I wasn't able too. Maybe next time?
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That's okay. Keep trying. You can do it.
I wish you the best! Have fun and remember to enjoy the things in life that you love!
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I love the picture and I so happy to read your update. I miss you when your away (tho I don't really get on deviantart a lot lol) put Im sending you a hug and cant wait to hear from you again please keep up the good work
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SO so glad to hear you're doing better... It takes a lot of courage to share this kind of thing, but I like what you said about being able to give something back after the illness has taken from you. Here's a bit more encouragement from someone who's been touched by your art... <3
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I'm so glad to see that you're feeling better!
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You're truly a strong and beautiful person. I'm so happy you're feeling better !
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I know exactly how you feel except I went all the way down the rabbit hole and completely out the other end...
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Soooo happy that you're doing better! I wish you the best in happiness in health!!
And we, as friends not just fans, are here to support you through every footstep of the way!! Xoxo
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Hope that things start getting easier and you feel more and more ready for the world every day
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I'm so happy your feeling better!
So proud of you, Blue
Beautiful drawing as always
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I'm so happy to hear that you're doing better!! <3333 I'm sure that your health will improve soon. We wish you the greatest of luck!
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Oh, it's good to hear you're getting better! I bet you'll be, with long strides, away from that rabbit hole a great distance someday. In due time. I wish you the greatest of luck
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Oh, goodness, I'm crying! I'm so happy you're better.
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I'm glad you're doing much better,
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So you draw beautifully, AND write beautifully, AND seem to be a beautiful human being. Thank you for adding beauty to the world.
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I love your style! Could you make me a new avatar please?
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Very happy to hear you're progressing away from that hole. <3
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