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DestinyBlue — Update
Published: 2016-03-16 17:48:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 107273; Favourites: 7654; Downloads: 628
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You might have noticed I've got back to drawing and posting art recently (like this little pencil sketch I colour in ^) and people have been asking for an update of how I'm doing
Briefly, if you don't know, I've been ill since November. Mental health. I've needed to be hospitalised twice for psychosis/depression/suicidal ideation. It's been an, uh, crazy few months. I've gone as far down the rabbit hole as anyone wants to go, and then some. And here I stand at it's exit, a little blinded by the sunlight, but delighted to be facing the real world again.
There is still not enough ground between me and the hole. My legs wont let me run yet, so I have to walk slowly, treading carefully, feeling with my feet, one step at a time. I'm at a good distance now. Far enough that I dare look back, and see the hole, smaller. One day it will be so far away it will be only a freckle, a blemish on my skin showing where I've been.
It's now been a whole month since I left hospital. Which sounds like a lot, but each fragile step has been tough, though in the right direction. I've just been officially discharged by Treatment Team, who were seeing me daily at home. Everyone seems pleased with my progress. ~Myself included!
Thank you everyone for being there during the darkest time in my life. The fact that so many people have been caring supportive and compassionate means so much to me. It makes me feel like the world is stuffed full of good people, trying their best through tough times, supporting each other. Your kindness and light gives me hope that in the future mental health will be better understood and treated by society.
I want to apologies to everyone who I haven't got back to, or replied to. I have so many unanswered messages and so many lose threads which I now have to tie up...
I've now almost finished writing the full story of what happened, grim details and all. It's so in depth I've had to break it down to several parts, I'm drawing some artwork to go with it too. It's hard, but talking about or experiences with mental illness is already winning part of the battle. I've lost a lot of my life to this illness. I feel like I am at least giving something back by talking about it.
So yep, very happy to report I'm out of the rabbit hole and making my way to firmer ground,
One, step, at, a, time.
Peace, love and Footprints,
Blue xx
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Comments: 644
Congratulations on being discharged! Take the best care you can of yourself, and don't forget you can always ask for help 
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I absolutely love this piece.
Also, nay strength be with you.
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Your story very much so relates to me very much and you inspire me to stay out of the hospital! I was in an EDU (eating disorders unit) for almost three months. Struggling with disorders, well lets say, sucks a billion times over. While my mental health is more "Anorexia based" I still struggle with depression and anxiety everyday. Everyone who has any type of mental health issues I consider family. We all have to stick together and fight together. I wish you the best of luck on your recovery, you've influenced me to keep on going with mine. Thank you tons!
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You're very brave sharing your story, best of luck with your recovery!
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OHMIGOSH It is SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!! I love ALL your art!!!!!
And SOOOO glad you are feeling better! I will be praying for your full recovery!
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So glad to know u conquered the challenges you were facing and still fighting the good fight. So keep on living, and drawing. Be shiny and chrome.lol
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I'm so,so,so,so happy you're better. I didn't know you were this bad,sometimes I just look at the artwork on deviantart and don't read every description. Wow,I'm so moved. It's so sad but at the same time so encouraging and heart-warming to know that you're getting better and coping, getting treatment and acknowledging that you need help when you're not healthy. You're an inspiration. You're not only an amazing artist, most importantly, you sound like an amazing person who's been through a lot and deserves all the best things in the world. You're strong,brave,kind,talented,lovely, probably much more than you think. I know how it feels like, maybe I haven't reached rock-bottom,or not that kind of rock-bottom, but my mental problems and the years of not really knowing what you have exactly because no one knows what to tell you or just aren't good enough doctors, and the failed diagnosis and treatments, the years lost, living dead, trying to keep going probably sometimes more for your family and friends instead of yourself, I do know all of that well, so even if every story is unique and some have it worse than others, I feel your pain and feel your courage too, your force. I feel like you winning and improving is a step forward for every person that deals with these problems, not like you have to feel a burden, but that every time that you get better we all get better and happier for your happiness, we are all in this battle together and you're not alone and you can share whatever you feel like and there's always gonna be someone to understand you and walk with you every step of the way. Don't back down, the only way now is up. It might be a rocky road but you seem strong enough to face the difficulties and be your best self. I don't know you but I love you. I hope all the best for you. You'll be in my prayers and thoughts.
Until the next time. XOXO. Love, a fan from Argentina
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You are in my thoughts & prayers Blue
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I have been hospitalized 2 times in the past, so i know just how hard depression/anxiety can be, and your art and description put it into words so beautifully
I hope you continue to feel better!~
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I find this drawing really beautiful. Every time I see a picture like this ... it's really weird but I feel relaxed. I really don't know why (sorry for my bad english)
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I'm so glad at least someone is getting better. But I was wondering if your going to be at Perth comic con this weekend on the 2nd and 3rd of April I'm pretty sure.
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I'M GOING MAYBE SEE YOU THERE!!!!! xD I'm going Sunday morning and cosplaying as Just be friends Megurine Luka
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You inspire me. Congratulations on your recovery
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I find it very heartwarming that you, someone who has been suffering through something very traumatic and terrifying and painful, believe that the world is "stuffed full of good people." No matter what horrors anyone goes through, they can persevere if they have faith in humanity. And it's just so inspiring to see you loving the good people, even though you've been and still are hurting. I know that people most likely were not directly responsible for your illness, but even physical disabilities can cause some to withdraw from humanity and become bitter. Frankly, it is beautiful.
You are a wonderful person, and I am so sad to read what you've gone through. But, thinking about it, the best people are usually the ones who have suffered the most.
I wish you the best of luck in the completion of your recovery. Even though few (if any; I wouldn't know) of the people here know you in person, most of us have your back. I hope to never let you or anyone else lose faith in humanity.
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Gooood. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Deeply touching. Greaaaat job. In love with this.
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Wow, this "update" is so stunning. Your a true inspiration. I start to be creative in different ways. Blacksmith some things. Moded, paint jobs of Moded things. Also some drawings. But so bad compare to your work. Iove the look from her, so deep. The way you draw the hair.... I can't describe it all, didn't find the right words, can't translate it all.
Thanks so much for sharing your talent.
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Wow you are amazing! I just started on Deviant Art and I believe every artist has someone they look up to. You are a talented individual and I look forward to more of your posts.
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Keep strong, you are talented and your expression through your art has not gone un-noticed. In fact your an inspiration. Your story, emotions speak volumes within your beautiful and breathtaking images you create.
You are not alone with the mental health issues hun, i deal with exactly the same problems, just know that in time things do get better but talking about it and accepting their part of you is one of the biggest steps anyone dealing with depression/anxieties etc can take, so well done. It becomes part of who we are and shapes us to who we want to be. Keep smiling keep the faith as your truly amazing at what you do.
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Your health is important to us. I'm so proud of you for making it through, despite everything.
You are truly something amazing and an inspiration to us all.
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I'm so happy that you're okay!
Just reading the past few drawings have made me so nervous for you!
It's a huge relief that you're okay!
I love the new aditude that you're putting at this!
You've come so far, and your heart is filled with love
You're a big inspiration to me now.
Thank you, Senpai!
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This is beautiful, Blue. Even when it gets hard, you still keep going, that is amazing. It's so unbelievable that you can change people on the other side of the world's lives through art, you inspire me so much, and never give up. <3
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Hey there, I'm happy to hear that things are getting better. Just hang in there, you'll get through it stronger than ever. I truly believe that your art has helped so many others in connecting and understanding their own emotions and situations, so keep doing what you do!
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It's so wonderful to hear that you're doing well. <3 I hope things continue to improve for you and others in your situation.
Keep up that amazing strength of yours~
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You are an amazing artist and an incredibly strong person to be able to get out from that hole. Thank you for being such an inspiration. I love your work! Best of luck with everything <3
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hello destiny, I'm really happy to hear you are getting better. ;v; y-you probably won't remember me, but I have met you three times at MCM comic-con in london, the most recent being in october last year. the first time, which happened to be my first ever experience at comic-con, was incredibly anxiety inducing for me as I suffer from an anxiety disorder myself.. but coming to talk to you and seeing all your prints and how much I could relate to them made me feel so much better. I was with a small group of friends and I was wearing a pikachu onsie, and as soon as I came over you complimented my eyes and said they where big and beautiful. it mean't so much to me. I didn't manage to buy a print the first time around, but you hugged me and It made me so happy throughout the rest of the day.
the next time I met you, you instantly said that you recognized me. I was feeling much more relaxed and much more confident about coming to MCM this year, and I kept telling the friend I went with about how getting a print from you was my number 1 priority before I do anything else. I ended up purchasing this exact picture as a print: destinyblue.deviantart.com/art… and I have it framed on my wall. I always look at it because it makes me so happy.. I chose this picture because self harm is something I have struggled very badly with, and at this point in my life I had just left my school due to verbal and physical abuse from other pupils (some who I thought where my friends) and even teachers too.
the third time, which was last year, I had built up enough confidence to cosplay for the first time ever. I went as hiro hamada from big hero 6, and you said my costume was really cute! ;w; we took a photo together, which I still have on my phone.
I've been wanting to say this for such a long time to you, but I wanted to wait until you where better. just.. thank you so much for making my experiences at MCM really warming and calming. and thank you for recognizing me and asking how I have been. not many people do that as right now I do not have a lot of friends. your drawings have helped me so much. I find relation in almost every single one of them. things are very difficult right now, and I'm sorry if my grammar in this comment isn't the best to, but that has a lot to do with my autism.
I look forward to seeing you again at this years london MCM in october. I will be saving a place on my wall for another print from you. thank you for making me feel better. <3
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your art is beautyful and you are a great person, I'm from Italy and I want you to remember that you're not alone,somebody thinks to you in any case...
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Your art got me throuh my toughest times (I struggle with depression and anxiety) and inspired me to create my own sketches
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I'm glad you're taking that one step at a time.
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I'm glad that you're getting better <3 I hope that rabbit hole will be so far away that no one can see it. Stay strong
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I really like how your paints look.
By te way, you're right. One step at time. .n.
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Congratulations on your progress and I hope the day that the rabbit hole becomes far in the horizon is not far away
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This is the best news, I really hope you keep going down the right track. It makes my day when I see that things are getting better for you. Although I can't possibly say I've had things as bad as you have, I do know how it feels to want to end it. Please, never go back down that hole. Just remember, all your fans are here for you and care about you. <3
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Anyone wanting to 'end it' is at a horrible place, it's been really tough for me, but that doesn't downplay anyone elses suffering. I'm sorry you were at that place for a while, I hope things are improved for you now
Thanks for your encouraging words - I appreciate them
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Thank you, things have improved somewhat.
No problem <3
I hope I may get to meet you one day.
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We are here for you, hopefully you get better soon. <3
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I've only known you existed for about 4 days (of which the time is started using deviantart) and I've already fallen in love with your artwork.
It's absolutely beautiful.
Keep healing your emotional wounds you amazing person.
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Thank you Coregy - and welcome to my world 
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