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Published: 2016-03-16 17:48:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 107280; Favourites: 7654; Downloads: 628
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Description
You might have noticed I've got back to drawing and posting art recently (like this little pencil sketch I colour in ^) and people have been asking for an update of how I'm doing
Briefly, if you don't know, I've been ill since November. Mental health. I've needed to be hospitalised twice for psychosis/depression/suicidal ideation. It's been an, uh, crazy few months. I've gone as far down the rabbit hole as anyone wants to go, and then some. And here I stand at it's exit, a little blinded by the sunlight, but delighted to be facing the real world again.
There is still not enough ground between me and the hole. My legs wont let me run yet, so I have to walk slowly, treading carefully, feeling with my feet, one step at a time. I'm at a good distance now. Far enough that I dare look back, and see the hole, smaller. One day it will be so far away it will be only a freckle, a blemish on my skin showing where I've been.
It's now been a whole month since I left hospital. Which sounds like a lot, but each fragile step has been tough, though in the right direction. I've just been officially discharged by Treatment Team, who were seeing me daily at home. Everyone seems pleased with my progress. ~Myself included!
Thank you everyone for being there during the darkest time in my life. The fact that so many people have been caring supportive and compassionate means so much to me. It makes me feel like the world is stuffed full of good people, trying their best through tough times, supporting each other. Your kindness and light gives me hope that in the future mental health will be better understood and treated by society.
I want to apologies to everyone who I haven't got back to, or replied to. I have so many unanswered messages and so many lose threads which I now have to tie up...
I've now almost finished writing the full story of what happened, grim details and all. It's so in depth I've had to break it down to several parts, I'm drawing some artwork to go with it too. It's hard, but talking about or experiences with mental illness is already winning part of the battle. I've lost a lot of my life to this illness. I feel like I am at least giving something back by talking about it.
So yep, very happy to report I'm out of the rabbit hole and making my way to firmer ground,
One, step, at, a, time.
Peace, love and Footprints,
Blue xx
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Comments: 644
Pwney [2016-03-18 01:40:22 +0000 UTC]
Guaranteed you're just going to make more depressed shit again and the feed off of the attention people give you for it.
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W0ifPupPluto [2016-03-18 00:24:32 +0000 UTC]
I'm very happy you're feeling better, and I hope it continues that way <3 Good luck with everything here on
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GrassGoddess In reply to ??? [2016-03-18 00:03:59 +0000 UTC]
I'm so glad you're doing better! I know it must not mean much coming from a watcher but I'm proud of you for making it this far. Things can only get better from here, trust me I know. If you need anyone to talk to about anything my message box is always open. I hope things continue to go well and that you're always able to produce the beautiful art you have been. Keep on the path you are now, because that rabbit hole will be gone before you know it!
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DestinyBlue In reply to GrassGoddess [2016-03-18 19:11:38 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, I appreciate your kind support
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Lou-LouIsMyWorld [2016-03-17 23:27:41 +0000 UTC]
This is the best news I've heard all day!! I wish you all the very best in the world!! Good luck on your journey!!
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Sevynstar In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 23:25:39 +0000 UTC]
So glad you're doing better!! The picture is beautiful, she looks so peaceful as she is healing.
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celticarchie In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 23:03:32 +0000 UTC]
One step at a time is all we can do Blue. Just keep on the path, we are all here with you.
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syhknox [2016-03-17 22:08:24 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad you're better! As I can see, we have similar problems o.o
I have a psychosis, depression(for more than 4 years), anxiety, and suicidal/ homicidal thoughts
I've only been hospitalized once and it was some months ago, in the last of 2015. I know it is difficult u.u But it will be okay
By the way, I love your drawings ^-^ You are one of the most creative artists I have ever seen
*Spanish speaking* ¡Animo y saludos!
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Fangirlur7 [2016-03-17 21:21:25 +0000 UTC]
SO GLAD that your better! You definitely didn't deserve dark times!
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SpringTimeYouth [2016-03-17 21:12:38 +0000 UTC]
We're all glad you're feeling better. You are a beautiful person, inside and out~
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YouAreCool10 In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 20:59:09 +0000 UTC]
It's great to hear that you're getting better!
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A-Girl-Called-Rae In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 20:29:03 +0000 UTC]
It's so wonderful to hear you're back on your feet! I, and many others, I'm sure, have been praying for you. We are your crutch, you are always welcome to lean on us in your time of need
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mokachip In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 19:43:25 +0000 UTC]
It's great to hear that you're getting better!
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BengalCat5 [2016-03-17 19:34:46 +0000 UTC]
I'm so happy to hear that you are doing better! Expressing what you have been through with art and writing it out is definitely a good way to heal. I have enjoyed your art so much, the raw depth and emotion that can be felt with each piece is captivating, and if it helps you get better then it is all the greater. Stay strong and don't give up, one day you will reach your goal and that moment will be sweet indeed.
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DestinyBlue In reply to BengalCat5 [2016-03-18 19:12:50 +0000 UTC]
I've really enjoyed developing my writing skills through this, makes me realise how much I love words and language as well as drawing
~I'm glad you appreciate both!
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TheFlutterPony123 In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 18:29:24 +0000 UTC]
i'm so pleased for you Blue ! i hope things continue to get better and better !
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Angie-TheCat [2016-03-17 16:26:45 +0000 UTC]
Good Luck! You have been so strong throughout all of this, not everyone could have made it out of that mad rabbit hole, but you did and I am proud of you too~
Sorry to add another message to your pile of well-wishes but seriously, good luck
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DestinyBlue In reply to Angie-TheCat [2016-03-17 18:26:07 +0000 UTC]
Thank you ~~No need to apologies for such a kind message, each is a joy to read, even if i don't have time to respond to everyone c
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ScerpoGirl In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 16:22:17 +0000 UTC]
I hope you keep moving forward! I may not know you personally, but everyone deserves a chance to come back from that hole. I'm glad you did Your art and creativity is amazing, and you're honestly one of my biggest idols on here.
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kaelekompot In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 16:06:02 +0000 UTC]
Good to hear you're doing better
I made this with you in my mind, I think the picture you paint of emerging from a rabbit hole is very fitting.
You are awesome and I wish you the best of luck with getting out in the sunshine
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DestinyBlue In reply to kaelekompot [2016-03-17 18:27:18 +0000 UTC]
Thank you -its so beautiful! I feel the the girl in the white dress, only now I'm a little further away
Much love x
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kaelekompot In reply to DestinyBlue [2016-03-17 20:50:04 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome, thank you for being an inspiration and being open about what you are going through
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Skullgrin-140 In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 15:18:44 +0000 UTC]
Wonderful to know you are doing okay
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PumpkinPonyshy In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 14:47:31 +0000 UTC]
Glad to hear you're recovering!!!
We'll always be here for you!!!
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nightworldcutie34 [2016-03-17 14:36:58 +0000 UTC]
glad to hear that you're okay,hope you make more progress. But most importantly stay strong
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EpicWTF [2016-03-17 14:16:23 +0000 UTC]
Great to hear that things get better Your writing skills are really great as well!
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miniviolette [2016-03-17 14:11:57 +0000 UTC]
So proud of you and the recovery you're making, hope it keeps getting better and looking forward to more art from you.
Stay strong x
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DestinyBlue In reply to miniviolette [2016-03-17 18:27:50 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, I'm looking forward to making and showing new art!
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miniviolette In reply to DestinyBlue [2016-03-21 13:53:24 +0000 UTC]
Looking forward too! I have 3 prints from you I got at MCM expo October and I'm in love with them! ^^
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Kasardian [2016-03-17 13:23:30 +0000 UTC]
Glad to hear good news. ;D I guess we all are so relieved. Btw. I'm not sure if this can be an advice or something like that but when I had hard times, only reason I made it was that I didn't have choice. I just had to make it, I had to survive. Anyway, I hope everything good for you and your art is amazing!
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iris-inside-out [2016-03-17 13:05:19 +0000 UTC]
Never lose faith. Even when things are going downhill hope and help will always be there, you just have to trust your instincts and believe... That's how I got through it. Btw, love your artwork I have it all over my pc
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DREAMSOFASINGER [2016-03-17 13:02:19 +0000 UTC]
Glad you are feeling better. Keep at it. Everything will get better in the long run. I am suffering from anxiety/depression at this current moment and it is also taking a toll on my body. I have learned ways to deal with it but it is taking its time to heal. So I know how you feel. It has caused me to not be able to do any of my artwork/animation homework for my school, which sucks but it comes out as a good feeling when you push through the barrier. (sorry for the random talk of what I am going through. I thought I could tell you that I can relate.)
All of us who follow you are here for you and we love you and your work. We support you all the way!
Keep on smiling!
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DestinyBlue In reply to DREAMSOFASINGER [2016-03-17 18:29:34 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, it's amazing how much mental illness takes a tole on you physically, it's a daily battle.
Take time to look after yourself, the schoolwork and motivation will follow when you start feeling better
sending love
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SheWhoWroteWings In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 12:58:42 +0000 UTC]
Just be safe and happy that's all anyone could ask for
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lovealoctic In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 12:27:54 +0000 UTC]
even if i havent commented a lot ive definitely read it all and im so happy your better <3
keep smiling blue !
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DanPoch [2016-03-17 12:08:26 +0000 UTC]
Beautifully said, DestinyBlue. Glad to have the update and that you are pleased with your progress and working to maintain it.
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kiannedraws In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 12:06:15 +0000 UTC]
it makes me smile to know that you're doing better, and it gives me hope too to know that depression isn't the end and it's possible to win over it. keep expressing yourself through your art, since it seems to be able to help you get through this too~
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Just-a-PROXY-dood In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 11:11:46 +0000 UTC]
1: That was so beautiful D':
2: Depression sucks. We can all agree. And you're living, breathing proof that it always gets better if you make the effort to let it. Help doesn't come easy, but in the long run, you know it was worth it. You're an inspiration to us all that if we try, we will succeed. And it's absolutely amazing.
3: Congrats! You're well on the way, and we know you can do it. We all love you /)^-^/)
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ConkerBirdy [2016-03-17 10:51:29 +0000 UTC]
Depression sucks. :c
Ive been battling it for the past 5 years and its taking a bit of a toll on my artwork and writing to the point I dont have much motivation to colour stuff (let alone finish) or write stuff anymore.
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ChristianPrime1-Bot [2016-03-17 10:40:05 +0000 UTC]
It's like the + sign on your head looks like a button to press to switch on a repair system and that someone needs to press it once a while in order to get yourself back up to speed.
Its a rather good piece to summarize your returning back to strength moment there.
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coughandcolds [2016-03-17 10:32:35 +0000 UTC]
It's great that you're doing well! Reading this update made me genuinely smile. I'm happy for you!
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ChelberNo1 In reply to ??? [2016-03-17 10:22:42 +0000 UTC]
I'm so, so glad that you're getting better Best wishes xx
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