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DestinyBlue — Update
Published: 2016-03-16 17:48:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 107280; Favourites: 7654; Downloads: 628
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You might have noticed I've got back to drawing and posting art recently (like this little pencil sketch I colour in ^) and people have been asking for an update of how I'm doing
Briefly, if you don't know, I've been ill since November. Mental health. I've needed to be hospitalised twice for psychosis/depression/suicidal ideation. It's been an, uh, crazy few months. I've gone as far down the rabbit hole as anyone wants to go, and then some. And here I stand at it's exit, a little blinded by the sunlight, but delighted to be facing the real world again.
There is still not enough ground between me and the hole. My legs wont let me run yet, so I have to walk slowly, treading carefully, feeling with my feet, one step at a time. I'm at a good distance now. Far enough that I dare look back, and see the hole, smaller. One day it will be so far away it will be only a freckle, a blemish on my skin showing where I've been.
It's now been a whole month since I left hospital. Which sounds like a lot, but each fragile step has been tough, though in the right direction. I've just been officially discharged by Treatment Team, who were seeing me daily at home. Everyone seems pleased with my progress. ~Myself included!
Thank you everyone for being there during the darkest time in my life. The fact that so many people have been caring supportive and compassionate means so much to me. It makes me feel like the world is stuffed full of good people, trying their best through tough times, supporting each other. Your kindness and light gives me hope that in the future mental health will be better understood and treated by society.
I want to apologies to everyone who I haven't got back to, or replied to. I have so many unanswered messages and so many lose threads which I now have to tie up...
I've now almost finished writing the full story of what happened, grim details and all. It's so in depth I've had to break it down to several parts, I'm drawing some artwork to go with it too. It's hard, but talking about or experiences with mental illness is already winning part of the battle. I've lost a lot of my life to this illness. I feel like I am at least giving something back by talking about it.
So yep, very happy to report I'm out of the rabbit hole and making my way to firmer ground,
One, step, at, a, time.
Peace, love and Footprints,
Blue xx
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Comments: 644
I'm so glad you're getting better, dear! Keep creating and stay strong! ^^
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So glad that you're doing awesome <3
and it's brilliant that you're going to speak about it! Mental health has not been talked about enough. Keep on kicking butt <3 <3
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You are as strong as you want to be. There is always someone to help you. Remember it 
Touka
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Its always the good people who have to go through shit like this.
I hope you will get better and yes it takes time but Im sure one day everything will be back to normal <3
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I wish you the best of luck Blue!
Stay strong and don't let that rabbit hole take over your sights!
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Knowing people like you exist in the world makes me feel a little safer.
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Hey I'm just glad you're on the good side of the rabbit hole...
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So strong AND so talented. You're an amazing person who doesn't deserve to feel that way! All the support is here for you. ^_^
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Hang in there and stay strong...it's ultimately worth it. And you're worth it.
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I knew you could do this! Way to go 
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Wow!
Although I noticed your absence, this is the first that I have heard of your situation. Bravo for having the strength and courage to seek help for this! As cliché as it is, admitting that there is an issue (especially to oneself) is indeed the first step to resolving it.
If I may offer some small bit of advice (in among the hundreds of other comments), I think your "little bit at a time" approach to recovery is spot on. Someone close to me has suffered with clinical depression for a long time, and was also hospitalized at one point - so I feel I can offer some potentially helpful (if not strictly first-hand) input.
As you have said: recovery is a slow process. There will be stumbles, there may be back-slides, but it is important to keep moving forward at a manageable pace. If you should find yourself overwhelmed, remember that life is a series of moments, and that those moments are the pieces that we can affect. The past is behind and the future is not yet set; it is the "now" that shapes our existence. You've probably heard the phrase "One day at a time," but what if that day is just too much to cope with? Well, then, take it one hour at a time. If the hour is too much, take that moment. No marathon runner steps out the door and runs 26 miles; they start with a jog around the block and have to work upward. Those moments or miles eventually come together into a greater whole, and the reward is an achievement all your own.
To that end, I am very glad to hear that you are finding your feet. May they carry you the distance! Perhaps you may move slowly at first, perhaps shakily; but each day will see you a little stronger, a little swifter to enact the skills you are learning. I (and, apparently, many others here at dA) will be thinking of you, and wishing you onward.
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Beautifully written, I concur and echo your statements about taking it one moment at a time.
I find meditation helps, and that it all about the moment by moment philosophy.
Thank you
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Meditation is, indeed, a wonderful thing. When people hear the word, they often think of Tibetan monks or Indian gurus, chanting repetitively on some mountaintop; but meditation is something that can be done anywhere, whenever one has a few spare moments. (Yep; there are those aforementioned moments again. -_^ ) A walk to a bus stop or the time spent waiting for a kettle to boil are ample time to take a deep breath, clear one's psyche, and give some unhurried thought to whatever situation is worth noting in the day. I suspect that, if more people did this, we would have a much smoother-running society to live in.
With the meditation, and with the recovery, I wish you well. I'm glad my comment offered some sunshine.
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I'm so happy that you're doing better and you're getting what you need! Don't work too hard and maybe blow bubbles every once in awhile... that's what I do sometimes. I wish you lots of love and happiness!
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So fantastic to hear that you're doing better <3 We're all here for you no matter what happens <3
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Don't worry about it people help each other in dire needs and we all appreciate that you're in good health mentally and physically, I hope. Everyone needs a good light in a time of darkness and (in an old miner voice) it just so happens that I brought my headlamp and oil lantern from my mining adventure down in the caves you know there's gold and jewels in these mines. No but in all seriousness we are all here for you and we all hope you can get out of this dark situation.
Sincerely from all of us to you, have a good rest of your day
P.S. keep up with all of your fantastic work
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Gold! Treasure! Yes! XD The precious gems that be ours! Hehe, nice thought
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You know as I read this comment it gave me a warm and fuzzy happy feeling and I thank you for that. You know it's kind of unique that someone that has such a big following commenting to one of their followers it's very nice you know as I said before I hope you get warm and fuzzy happy feelings too and to the rest of your days as well.
P.S. keep up with the art, your health in all that stuff, have a fantastic day
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I'm glad you're doing better, Blue. 
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Always remember, you are not alone. We do care about you.
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We love ya, hun! Nice work, by the way. ^_^ Take care!
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I'm glad you're feeling better. Keep up the good work; we're all cheering for you, my friend. Best wishes for your health and wellbeing. xx
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This is utterly gorgeous ;w; you do an incredible job everytime
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Thank You Miss Huntress
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It's fantastic to hear that you're doing well. It is strength like yours that inspires others.
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Thank you for being so open about what you are going through. I feel like some people still feel that they have to put up a strong face when they're dealing with internal turmoil but in reality it's more courageous to admit our fears and get through them a step a time.
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It's wonderful to hear you're doing better! Anyone can tell you're strong and getting stronger, and I hope for constant onward progress for you.
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That is great, I'm happy that you are feeling better. I kind of know what it feels like (although it's different for everyone) so I've been worried about you. Healing is slow but it's great that you've gotten as far as you have, I'm sure it'll only get better. It relieves me to know that you are doing better. I wish that I could meet you so that I could give you a hug so I guess an emoji will have to do.
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It makes me extremely happy to know you're slowly growing stronger each day, and away from this obstacle. May your distance from the Rabbit hole grow and your future near <3 You're an amazing and inspiring artist that I hope to see continue forever!
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Amazing! This is awesome that your doing better! We are all proud of how far you've come, and how far you yet to go. You have made so many people inspired, interested, and applied to what they are doing. Along with you, and yes, although this world seems like there's a dark corner everywhere you look, there are this bright people. People who bring light to this world. People who inspire. Bring positive things to others and care. You are one of those people Blue
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I'm so happy for you! I love this, I can imagine the healing process is slow but I believe you are strong enough to pull through
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I'm so happy that you're feeling better! I hope it continues to improve!
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I'm so happy to hear you're getting better. I know it's probably no where near what you're going through, but the last few months have been tough for me too. Let''s keep heading towards a better place together, along with whoever else is talking these same baby-steps.
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Oh Blue, so very happy to hear that you're feeling better. Don't be too hard on yourself if you find yourself still struggling from time to time, I know I haven't been through nearly as much as you have, but I know setbacks always make me feel pretty bad. But they're just part of the road! You're out of that rabbit hole, and while there may be nights and storms, being able to still see the sky during them helps knowing that they will pass. <3
Love you so.
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Thank you, yes the road is still rocky, but it taking me in the right direction at the moment
I am sure it will take a while, but I will heal in time, and be stronger for this experience.
I appreciate your support throughout
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I always knew you were strong enough to get yourself out of that hole. Glad you're feeling a whole lot better now!
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