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Doub1ehe1ix In reply to icy-kisses [2012-06-25 18:22:23 +0000 UTC]

thank yeew

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Doub1ehe1ix In reply to TheDviousOne [2008-08-17 04:30:50 +0000 UTC]

Thanks ^_^ <3

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Doub1ehe1ix In reply to Ignitus1992 [2008-07-18 05:10:50 +0000 UTC]

Thanks <333
Lawl...I don't care <3 Lots of shit, through out my entire life he's treated me like shit, has been emotionally unstable, and acts like he's bi-polar.
As a kid he'd hit me, beat me, and curse me out or call me names, then I started to tell my grandmother, so she started to get involved. But late when she died of cancer (which was one of the worst things in my life since she was like the only guiding parental figure I've ever known) things turned for the worst, a year later I was mis diagnosed like 10 times in a local hospital (even though I was slowly dying/ severing my spinal cord from an agonizing disease) so since the hospital has fucktarded fuck headed doctors , they finally give up and tell my parents that I'm making it up for attention. Yet I would have these spasms in my back that would make me collaspe and scream in agony. I was litterally being tortured for 5 months. All my dad do was mock me and laugh, so would my brother, so would my mom.
They'd laugh in my face and tell me that I"m going crazy. Until one day, I had finally couldn't take it any more. I finally fell to the floor while walking my dogs (they pulled the leash), and I had to drag myself across the lawn into the house calling for help. And I remember my parents started to yell in my face why didn't I clean the basement yet (the dogs live there and had made a mess), I kept telling them I can't walk. My dad started to telll my mom that I'm being disobediant and tried to piss her off on purpose, yet I was begging for help.
My mom screamed the shit outta me and told me to get my ass downstairs as soon as possible. I crawled down the stairs biting my lip in pain, my eyes teared.
I leaned over the newspaper and started crying, my mom went downstairs to check on me, and when she didn't see what I was she wanted she was furious. She took out a belt and started to hit me in the shoulder as I was on the floor (to make me get up) and I kept telling her I couldn't walk she told me "YOU BETTER GET YOUR FUCKING ASS UP! GET UP! STOP LYING TO ME!" so she pulled my hair and started to yell more, she pushed me against the dog cage, I started to call my dad for help I screamed "DADDY HELP ME PLEASE!HELP!OH GOD" and you know what he did?
He heard me, yeah that stupid fucker heard me I know it. He turns the volume of the tv upstairs to the maximum level so he can't hear me scream. So my mother continues to hit me until she gets me to stand upright I can barely walk. I was in torchurous pain, I felt like someone was twisting my spine slowly. And my mom tells me she won't hit me any more if I don't colaspe again. I tried to muster every bit of strength I had. I then fell to the floor of the stairs, so then she started to pound on me with the belt, she hit me in the face a few times (not as hard as my back), my face was soaked with tears, I thought I was going to die. I thought I was in hell.
I had to crawl up 2 flights of stairs (my house was a bi-level at the time), while she was hitting me and yelling at me. I then finally made it I was begging my dad for help, he just looked at me with disgust, I then pass out....

It took a few ambulence calls, then the hospital finally transferred me to a proffessional (then it was long and painful road to recovery) which included being stabbed with IV's and wearing a back brace. My mom tried to beg me not to tell anyone just because (she spent time taking care of me) in the the hospital (yet I didn't even want to look at that stupid bitch, if I would've died it would be her and my dad's fault). Another reason why I didn't want to tell anyone is because she was pregant at the time and she would've probably went to jail. (Which I'm thinking her and my father did on purpose because they know I'd fall for it).
Then we moved from my house to a fucking apartment in the mother fucking city (which I hate), after being gone from my friends for a year because of the previous incident. So when we moved there it was a fucking nightmare from hell. WHenb my mom finally gave birth I was put in homeschool (because I'm so fucking guilible and listened to my dad). And slowly he started to make me watch my little brother, I watched him every day, like I was his mom. I almost NEVER went out durring the day, I was allowed to.
The only places I went to were sometimes my piano lesson and sometimes to the gym, I walked the dogs at night. My dad started to become abusive again. It's like he lost more and more respect as time went on, he began to turn hateful towards me and blamed me for everything. Me and him got into many arguments until he got so violent that he slammed me against the walll and started screaming in my face.
Over time I got an addiction to self injury, he made me feel horrible, he made me hate myself so I started to slash myself with a razor blade.
Over time I became suicidle because I started to feel more and more depressed. I was lonely, all I had were people on the internet. Then after fighting with them, I locked myself into the bathroom, and took out the razor, I wasn't thinking and I put too much pressure onto my wrist with it. I started to bleed...a lot I got blood all over the bathtub and sink, I paniked and wrapped my hand in an old towel hopng no one sees. I got really scarred, so instead I started to draw. I stopped cutting...for a while...Then a year later we moved back here again, we bought a really shitty house, that me and my dad killed each other fixing up even though we all ran out on it anyway.
School, shit...I was like the turd in the proverbial punch bowl of life. I didn't fit in, I was TERRORFIED by people, my old best friend is a fuckhead because she betrayed me. And I was overweight x_x' My new friends were the best though <3
a year later........And we moved to this new house in which we still kill each other in fights (can't wait till I'm 18),
and last school year was the best. It changed life for me alot and it made me more positive <333 (also for the fact that I lost almost 30 pounds in the past 2 years from becoming vegan and exercising<333).
but yeah...love life and smile, or just search for the people who will make you smile if you have a stupid family like mine -_' Friends are God's apology for family.

Yeah I talk too much o_O'

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blaqhellwolf In reply to Doub1ehe1ix [2008-07-19 22:08:22 +0000 UTC]

ok second part to my comment i just re read the whole thng and i very happpy that your life is turning around....thank you god for friends ^-^

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blaqhellwolf In reply to Doub1ehe1ix [2008-07-19 22:04:25 +0000 UTC]

im speechless at how they treated you utterly speechless...i don't know how anyone could do that to you....but yes as long as you have friends to to be your family i suppose all will be better.....hey if anything else happens i could try my best to help if that not to much trouble for you ^-^

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Doub1ehe1ix In reply to blaqhellwolf [2008-07-22 05:07:20 +0000 UTC]

Thanks much <33333 ^_^
Now.......IT'S RAVE TIME! 8D

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blaqhellwolf In reply to Doub1ehe1ix [2008-07-22 14:20:38 +0000 UTC]

yah RAVE TEHM!!!!

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Doub1ehe1ix In reply to megami-no-yorokobi [2008-07-18 05:15:13 +0000 UTC]

Thanks ^_^ Believe me it is x_X

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Doub1ehe1ix In reply to blaqhellwolf [2008-07-17 01:22:20 +0000 UTC]

;___; Thank youuuu I hate it when people are all "oh why're you drawing crazy things like this???".
Assholes..

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Doub1ehe1ix In reply to tainted-mushrooms [2008-07-17 01:48:10 +0000 UTC]

Thanks :hear: Shit it's been a long journey, and such a turn around compared to a few years ago x_x' Suicide and cutting is never the way to go man.
Yeah but life can never be just horrible, we just need to give ourselves a chance sometimes (despite the chance that some people may have their world dominated by assholes)
p.s You luff teh rawk muziks??

p.p.s Do you has a myspace? Damn it, we got cut off over the years so abruptly (until now thank God for Courtney), liek....Just out of curiousity, where are you? (you don't need to say it in this comment if you don't want D:

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tainted-mushrooms In reply to Doub1ehe1ix [2008-07-19 23:10:57 +0000 UTC]

I agree. There's always something in life that's worth living for.

lols, no i hate myspace. >:[ it causes so much damn drama at school so i'm like "LOLNOTHNX"
i know, it blowsssss D: do you have aim maybe or msn? i would say email, but i never check it... u_______u

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Doub1ehe1ix In reply to tainted-mushrooms [2008-07-22 04:54:01 +0000 UTC]

Rapespace.com a place for aids
I has AIM (Panda684) but I never sign on D:
DID YOU JOIN A MUSLIM CULT?!

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tainted-mushrooms In reply to Doub1ehe1ix [2008-07-29 00:22:58 +0000 UTC]

RAPESPACE FO SHO
fine. email me then buttcakes. :C I'LL CHECK JUST FOR YOU. walrus_of_steel@hotmail.com. DO IT.

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Doub1ehe1ix In reply to tainted-mushrooms [2008-07-29 06:37:14 +0000 UTC]

Hahaha XD Buttcakes

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Doub1ehe1ix In reply to NHLoveDani [2008-07-17 01:49:59 +0000 UTC]

Thanks ^_^ I was actually starting to get diappointed in my style D:

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NHLoveDani In reply to Doub1ehe1ix [2008-07-17 01:59:41 +0000 UTC]

your welcoem C: and you shouldnt its amazing the way it is <3

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Doub1ehe1ix In reply to Bleedingraptorclaw [2008-07-17 01:50:22 +0000 UTC]

Thanks <333 ^_^

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