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DracoTempest — Mandy Reference Sheet by-nc-nd

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Published: 2017-03-14 15:00:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 1988; Favourites: 52; Downloads: 8
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Description

Name: Mandy

Age: Somewhere between 60-80 years

Place of Origin: N/A

Language Spoken: American English is her only documented language.

Species: ???

Personality: 

Weight:
-(Humanoid Body) Approximately 155 lbs (due to higher muscle mass)
-(True form) Probably in the 400/600 pound range. 

Distinguishing Features: Her scars, fangs, and claws make it easiest for her to be identified. And as she has only recently become adept at replicating the human face (Definitely not perfect, though) her eye is noticeably larger than normal size for a human.* She also has had to switch often between walking as a human and beast, so she has an odd, stagger-like gait.

Fears: She fears fire as most creatures do. Is also afraid of dogs, and usually turns extremely hostile at the sight of guns. More recently, she is rather uncomfortable around adult humans.

Powers/Abilities: Has no supernatural powers aside from being able to switch between forms at will. However, this requires her to be properly nourished in order to keep her fueled enough to transform efficiently. Her strength as a beast has transferred over partially to her human form, so she is stronger than she’d appear.

Weapons: Usually uses nothing other than her claws and teeth. She’s started learning how to use a hunting or small pocket knife, however.

How she kills/wounds in combat: When she was younger she would hunt humans and animals by jumping onto them and sinking her fangs into their necks, snapping them or ripping out their throats. As she grew more sympathetic and attached to humans, their deaths were indirectly caused by any wounds she would accidentally inflict on them. As her meals now consist of wildlife and the humans who were unable to survive under her “care”, there have only been a handful of humans over the last few decades she has killed in cold blood.

Interests: She never really had much time for interests for a good chunk of her life, having been busy with learning how to survive without detection. With her new affinity for collecting and hoarding human objects, and the introduction of human hobbies, such as writing and drawing, her interests currently consist of learning how to do these things.

Weaknesses: Her missing eye and unbalanced gait serve as pretty significant weaknesses in combat. Her steady loss of fur over the years has also made her susceptible to the cold, forcing her to revert to her human form more and more often.

Strengths/Pros: She keeps some of the strength that her true form offers her when she’s “human”, and is a relatively fast learner.

Flaws: Her very narrow worldview causes her to jump to conclusions often and make rash decisions based on what she believes. For example, she believes all hunters are horrible people, yet she rarely considers that they are only trying to protect their families from her. All she’ll see is a rifle pointed at her head.

She also has hoarder tendencies, which has put her in danger of discovery more than enough times because she refuses to leave her collections behind.

History: --

Relationships:

Friends:

  • Teddy Mason/The Lonely Searcher

    Long story short, Mandy lured the ghost into the woods easily. After managing to get his notebook away from him, sensing from his body language that it was important, she basically held him hostage by hiding it in different places. Because she never knew just what the journal could do to him, she never thought to threaten him with harming the book, and luckily for him was reasonably careful with it.

 Soon enough she began to demand that he teach her how to read and write, among other things, and Teddy had to oblige, nervous that she would hurt the book if he didn’t. But eventually, the journal began slipping their minds as they got to know each other, and Mandy soon grew feelings for him.

 She’s grown on Teddy as well, but that may also just be a case of Stockholm Syndrome on his part.

Place/Type of Residence: While biologically she is supposed to be a nomadic creature, she mostly stays in a forest in northeastern Pennsylvania. This is mostly due to her growing collection keeping her bound to the place- Otherwise she would most likely have moved along across the country.

Notes:

*With Mandy and other members of her species, there is always something wrong or off about their human form (too-large eyes, off facial proportions, limbs a tad too long). This results in humans feeling uncomfortable upon seeing them, therefore making it even harder for them to lure in prey. 

Related content
Comments: 18

Claw-kit [2017-07-26 17:58:05 +0000 UTC]

Before reading anything, the entire picture really caught my eye. I like the different style, kinda lanky, not at all anime-ish, and new. The amount of detail amused me, you did a very good job on this for your skill! Your style allows for for more detail, like the use of description on the picture about the character. I like that it takes up all of the space on the picture without overcrowding the eyes.

Before reading anything in the description, I already don't like how it's laid out. I see you put a lot of detail into it, but no one wants to sit through a long boring list! I don't even want to read all of it myself.
I would not be interested in your character. I want to see a paragraph, hook and all, about this character as a whole. I want a 'get to the point' thing. Include information that entices the reader in that paragraph, then include the stuff people don't care about in the list for extra information. This is a big problem with creators, and a lot of reviewers have pointed the same problem out. Overall, people don't care about the sex, age, language, weight, and personality in a list! I don't want to read through the end to find out why I was interested in the character in the first place. Overall, a list is not a good impression. That's probably why this character, like all the other list characters, aren't that 'popular'. Also, the list template is usually used for a creator/writer to get their thoughts in order, think about things they usually wouldn't as the character, ect. Not to be used as a final product. You would get a bad grade if this was a writing project.

Skimming through the list; I like some of your wording. Such as the language  spoken; "documented" because she's a type of species. I like your detail in the smaller things, it makes it feel more real. It's very hard to nitpick her personality because there's really nothing. It doesn't feel very consistent when I'm introduced to how she feels "black-and-white" but I was just told how expressive she is of her emotions. Additionally, I think, because she's not so human, her hair should be longer. Unless she knows how to use money or scissors, I doubt her hair would be as short as it is.

Your character feels underdeveloped and messy. I don't know why she exists, I don't know what she does, I don't know her motivation (if she has one, if not, explain or compare why), I don't feel connected with the character. I feel let down after reading. The art gave me a false sense of a good expectation. I was let down and I think you can do more.
The monster form, on the bottom half, looks interesting! I really like the tail, but I am rolling my eyes seeing the two mouths thrown across her belly and chest. This is a design that is so overdone and the fandom is still trying to beat the dead horse and getting nothing out of it! There seems to be no reason to have those mouths. Unfortunately, there is also no reason to have the tail. I was saddened not to find an advantage linking to the tail. There is also no history.. I feels like you were scared to step out of the box. Despite the monster/human detail (which has been done, you took it a tiny step forward), I'm not interested especially when the character has no history. So, I can't give any pointers to linking the background to the character- which could've helped improve her.

Mandy feels like another 'realistic' go at a normal monster killer. The character doesn't get any better if she has a killing strategy or flaws. Either way, She's boxed up and can be something more. Mandy has been done a thousand times and just doesn't bring anything new. She's not special but can become something so different and beautiful! If I were you, I would start over completely and sit there and think of something that hasn't been done. Don't think about the design first, think about the character first, something that makes it special.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DracoTempest In reply to Claw-kit [2017-07-26 18:50:14 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for this. I'm still a bit new to character building and actually posting it somewhere, so I agree about the whole list thing- Looking at it now I can see how boring it is. I suppose I can change the layout by keeping the unimportant stuff in a list and putting it last. And yeah, she actually is underdeveloped, I've just been taking my time with it because I don't really know where to start anymore. Making personalities and actually sticking to them isn't much of a strong suit of mine.

 About the hair, I guess she'd be able to figure out how to use a knife pretty quickly, and if her hair gets too long and tangled and snags too much she'd be able to cut it off. And it's true that the extra mouths don't really have much purpose- Since they're pretty much a weird case of conjoined siblings, it would make sense that they would realistically have either no real effect or even hinder her in some ways. (Restricted lung movement, maybe?)

 I've also considered her species using her tail as a lure for wildlife, but I don't know if that would be relevant enough to keep. And, well.. I'm not entirely sure what her history would be yet other than little things like how she got all her scars, and I'm kinda nervous about messing up facts or making it boring.

 I'm really sorry if all that I've written feels like a bunch of excuses, I kinda just wanted to explain some stuff and any thoughts that can possible help. I really appreciate you taking the time to write that review.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Claw-kit In reply to DracoTempest [2017-07-26 19:46:40 +0000 UTC]

I can help you through her entire development if you want. Don't be afraid of making it boring, what makes her boring is the lack of focus. She was young once, that's how you show your oc developing, or maybe stop her aging in the middle, so it is reasonable for her to not know certain things and be curious.

I like your description of how she'd cut her hair. That's the type of thing people would like to know in all of that detail in a big paragraph. I felt like she made a little bit more sense and is logical in her thinking since she is half human.
I like your thinking of keeping the mouths on, but it really sounds like excuses. There are so many types of conjoined sibling types, it's endless to make something interesting out of it.
I liked the monster part because of the tail! Think of it, Mandy can use it for defense, fighting, and luring prey. She can show her logical side and find it convenient to tie bags to the tail, and hold things in it depending on how strong her tail is. It can be hanging with bells or feathers. I really like the idea of a tail, and having her carry stuff with the tail, because of her developing human hobbies and becoming a collector, it can be something that can really change the character around.

A good way to start off with making a decent character is to think of what the character revolves around. Or a subject. Hunter, killer, monster? Feathers, stars, ancient? Rabbit, deer, dragon?
She might be curious on ancient human culture. She might have been alive in early human life (when there were different species of human) and hibernated. It can be something magical, or reasonable. Open your mind to possibilities. If you can't bare changing the character, start again with a new one and build off of that.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DracoTempest In reply to Claw-kit [2017-07-26 20:24:54 +0000 UTC]

I quite like the idea of her species decorating the tail and using it to hold things, and maybe I'll get rid of the part where her tail falls off with each transformation. In fact Mandy does seem like the type to do stuff like that, and in the earlier days of this version of her I would play around with the idea of Mandy wanting to be pretty and all that, since to her species and to humans alike she'd probably be seen as undesirable with deformities and scars.
I might keep her young-ish, though, but maybe expand the years she's been around. Her humanoid appearance sorta correlates with her age, so she's still in the young adult stage, I guess.
Again, thank you so much! :3 I'd definitely like to send updates and ask for feedback in the future through notes, if that's okay with you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Generic-Octopus [2017-03-20 05:43:54 +0000 UTC]

She looks fucking awesome man

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DracoTempest In reply to Generic-Octopus [2017-03-20 06:11:05 +0000 UTC]

Yay! Thank you!

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XWhiteWolfv [2017-03-14 21:06:14 +0000 UTC]

Yayyyyy! It's finished! I think it looks macabre and awesome!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DracoTempest In reply to XWhiteWolfv [2017-03-15 03:03:08 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Chisai-Yokai [2017-03-14 18:03:32 +0000 UTC]

Looks super awesome! I'm glad to see it finished!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DracoTempest In reply to Chisai-Yokai [2017-03-14 18:11:44 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

I'm super happy to have it finally off my chest. xD Maybe my art block will finally go away.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Chisai-Yokai In reply to DracoTempest [2017-03-15 08:49:52 +0000 UTC]

Yeah she looks amazing! I'm glad you were able to finish her!
I know that feeling, it's always great to complete a project

I hope it does! Art blocks are the worst, but sometimes they can help even if they suck at the moment. ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kmneteler [2017-03-14 15:48:57 +0000 UTC]

btw sme stuff o the bottom i cant read because zoom in dosnt work very well. other than thaat great OC all around 

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DracoTempest In reply to kmneteler [2017-03-14 15:50:47 +0000 UTC]

Hm.. Well, I just enabled the download feature if that would help. I don't think I can really make the text any bigger at this point.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kmneteler In reply to DracoTempest [2017-03-14 16:07:32 +0000 UTC]

thx it helped alot.......now the question is what unknown creature gave her those scars ;D

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DracoTempest In reply to kmneteler [2017-03-14 16:09:20 +0000 UTC]

That's good. xD And...

Well, who knows. xDD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kmneteler In reply to DracoTempest [2017-03-14 16:16:28 +0000 UTC]

welp im now inspired by this so

ill be working something simialr just there "true form" is *cough* a alien((god like)) creature ((it hard to explain just look up Hp lovecraft and cuthulu and then you will get it))

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DracoTempest In reply to kmneteler [2017-03-14 16:19:12 +0000 UTC]

Huh.. That sounds pretty interesting. I wouldn't mind seeing how it goes.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kmneteler In reply to DracoTempest [2017-03-14 16:35:22 +0000 UTC]

issue is not that great with anatomy on humans or animals

👍: 0 ⏩: 0