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Dragon-FangX — Trader Lydia - Avoiding Spoilers
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Published: 2018-05-30 23:00:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 7584; Favourites: 125; Downloads: 0
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Admittedly, not all of these are well thought out...NEXT PAGE: Bathroom Pests
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Comments: 79
Now all I can think of is Lydia wearing the Gauntlet as a hat and working the fingers with her arms! XD
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It's not really a spoiler if you read the comics.
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For the Infinity Gauntlet, I suggest a good ol' shrink ray.
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Plan A: it's also useful to travel to the future to see future movies instead of waiting.
Plan B: you can also erase your memory so you can relive your moment watching the movie.
Plan C: if you need a long nap after all that long work, freeze yourself.
Plan D: i.redd.it/uwfilt2rydw01.jpg "I'll take that."
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I'd recommend against Plan B. That is, at least, if she doesn't want an action replay of that Sentai suit's effects.
Mind you, it would be amusing to see her try to wear the Gauntlet.
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Okay, if no one else is going to ask the obvious question, if you have a time machine, why not just go to whatever date you can actually see what you're trying to duck spoilers for?
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Where did I put my Infinity Gauntlet from the comic continuity?
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Lydia I think that's Oden's replica gauntlet
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Nah, the replica was made for the right hand. This one is made for the left, just like the actual gauntlet.
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Personally, I find that renting a memory eater can be a blessing sometimes.
Just make sure to be really specific about which memories you want erased from your mind, you don't want to risk ending up as an amnesiac or someone who has no recollection about how to use a knife and fork.
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You do have to feed it, but if it get's frisky you may forget that you're married. Just ask Marion Wheeler, doesn't even remember where she got her married name.
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If you want to keep it, yes.
I find that it's a lot less of a hassle to just rent one for the evening.
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You don't just rent an antimeme, it either stays with you or leaves to eat more savory memories.
Welcome to the Antimemetics Devision. No, it is not your first day.
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What are you talking about? They started offering rentals months ago, did you forget that?
Wait, hang on a sec... Let me guess, you ignored the warnings about wearing safety gear around the holding pens again?
Typical, people getting too comfortable in their work-pattern always think it's alright to ignore warning signs "just this once" and forget that these critters eat even when they've just been fed.
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Your memories have been scrambled, clearly, someone has forced you to miss a dose, I, on the other hand, have my Class W's on me at all times.
Listen, We need to talk about fifty five.
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My memories are fine, I keep a backup in safe storage at all times.
Are you sure you're not the one who's a bit 'scrambled'?
Old "Double-fiver" passed away six weeks ago, remember? Aggrevated lung infection, it's why he was coughing so much. It's right there in the medical records.
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55 doesn't have lungs... I'm not sure what it is, but it's definitely not a sphere, and it doesn't have lungs!
At this point, someone else would say that this guy's just way off his meds, but if you were just off your meds you would have questioned what I meant, as 55 is the self-keeping secret, you shouldn't have even been able to make up a story like that, as the very knowledge that 55 exists even as even your bizare fantasy would be erased from your mind.
What are you? Your not Grey, the conversation is wrong for that, plus I'm not losing my memory slowly, I know your either an antimeme or someone who, 343 forbid, can remember SCP-055.
Either way, you are an anomoly, One uncontained by the Foundation, I'm bringing you in.
Come with me or I'm calling a Mobile Task Force.
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(Good grief, not another one...)
Look, I keep telling you guys; The SCP is the 3rd floor, left corridor, fifth door ON. THE. RIGHT.
You're the fifth guy this month who makes that mistake.
Oh, and by the way, If you see Dr. Bright; tell him that the next time he tries to lace my coffee with something, I'm leaving him buried up to the neck in a block of concrete for a week!
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Oh, believe me, I want to do it myself...
Wait a minute, Bright isn't even allowed near this area, this is part of the Antimemetics Division.
And last I checked, we own the whole building.
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You and half of the other people in this building, the rest want to bury him head first.
Our 076 hasn't been the same since the "wacky wednesday" incident.
Not that I don't understand him, getting caught in the middle of the grandmother of all "Bright" ideas involving 5 different SCP's, a tank of helium gas, the 6th floor MIB squad and a modified sprinkler system filled with Instant Puddin' -mix isn't exactly what I'd call a pleasant experience.
It took us HOURS of surgical precision memory restoration procedures to get the personel the MIBs neuralized back to a somewhat working state.
And we still don't know how he or the rest of your personel keep finding their way into our facilities, are you guys messing around with some kind of teleportation device again?
By the way, you're in the wrong end of the building. The C.O.R.E. (Cognizance Obfuscation & Restoration Enterprise) started renting some empty offices after the last reconstruction left a bunch of space open.
Personally, I think the only reason they picked the place is because the rent was cheap. (For obvious reasons...)
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This is bizarre.
First of all, this building has been erased from the memory of anyone outside the Division.
Second, the only reconstruction that I can remember is... Oh...
I'm terribly sorry, but I need to ask you to leave before you disturb SCP-5816 who's containment was in these empty rooms, SCP-5816 occupies areas that are for rent and slowly eats those who take up the rent.
It explains everything, all those encounters with Bright, those were just memetic hallucinations caused by 5816.
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If you're refering to that... thing that was here earlier, then your colleagues have already removed it fom the premises, or well, from our facilities at least.
A nasty bugger, I admit. We're glad you could retrieve it before it decided to eat someone actually important.
As for your so called "memetic hallucinations", allow me to inform you that a hallucination does in fact NOT leave large amounts of what I can only hope is pudding everywhere.
Aside from that, a large part of our more vital personel has gone through certain... medical procedures... to prevent such scenarios and we have found them to be very reliable.
I have no idea whose memory you've been erasing so far, but you can rest assured that all C.O.R.E. employees have been sworn to secrecy with a zero tolerance policy on blabbermouths. So you have nothing to worry about there.
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Okay, so Bright has been here, which is odd, as 1. he should have no knowledge of this facility, and 2. Even if he did, he doesn't have clearance to be here.
Which means that Dr. Bright has once again proven why we have that list.
Although that is odd, the reason we left that thing in those rooms was that we couldn't remove it, something about it being in the walls.
As for the memory erasure thing, it was more an accident, you know how it is with antimemetics research, you dig in, find something, and then friends and family no longer recognize you, it was more of an accident.
You guys should know, you seem to be an antimemetics research and development group.
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Well, I wouldn't exactly call us a "research group", but we do have our own R&D department for such purposes.
And yes, I do remember overhearing some of your employees whispering something about the walls when we had them removed.
We needed to bring in some fairly sizeable equipment you see, so we would have had to remove and replace some walls anyhow, to make sure everything would come together properly.
We were quite pleasantly surprised when the SCP offered to deal with the *ahem* debris.
As for dr. Bright; I've heard the rumours of his... escapades, urban legends though they may be, and having experienced some of them personally, I can only say that I am honestly flabberghasted at his capacity for mayhem.
If you ever do find out how he manages to sneak in here, feel free to let us know.
We do handle some quite sensitive operations after all, and having him roaming around where he isn't needed can be somewhat... frustrating.
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I'll check to make sure he didn't order anymore cups of "liquid space" again.
And I should be clear, it wasn't literally in the walls,and no matter what you think it was, it's not exactly real, it's more of a living concept, that sustains itself by consuming the concept of something inhabiting it's space.
I know for a fact that all removing the walls would do is give the thing a bigger area to feed on, in fact, I can tell it's still here by the bodies in the corner of the room, don't look, there hidden with a antimemetic field, very simalar to Alistar Grey, with an E, which did the same thing.
You'll just have to cross your fingers that someone figures out how to beat it, they say an antimemetics agent is as good on their first day as they ever will be, because they will repeat that day over and over. Not sure if you guys have such sayings,just be aware, that we might have gotten rid of the rubble, but the living concept that consumes everything that knows it still lurks in your minds, waiting.
I wont make assumptions as to why they would lie to you, but here's the thing, it could have eaten a very important concept, and no one would know it was gone, the concept of a containment system could vanish and nobody would realize they had a containment system.
You see why we abandoned these rooms? We knew that the facilities existence was erased, so we could rent the rooms without anyone taking them. What I'm still confused about is where you found the fliers, and how you remembered long enough to rent the space. We advertised this facility in china, on the other side of the world, only hang up one add and set the price so high even if some lunatic wants even one room, they could never afford it, even if they had all the money in the world, to top it off we placed a strong antimemetic effect on the flier, making you forget the information the second you look away.
You say the rent was cheep? either that was a lie or someone is pulling a prank on both our groups...
Oh for the love of, Bright!
I swear to 343 the moment I get my hands on that chimp, he's spending the rest of his life as a dung beetle!
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You know, you're starting to sound like some kind of conspiracy maniac, my friend.
We've done some very extensive scans as well as some... very costly testing of our facilities and I can assure you there is nothing out of the ordinary in there.
Aside from our staff of course, which, if I may be so bold as to remind you; you are not part of. As such, I'm afraid I must ask you to leave the premises.
As for the corpses in the corner...
Well, suffice to say: The less you know, the better you're off...
We wouldn't want to have to "edit" your memory banks unless absolutely necessary, would we?
Feel free to take a cookie from the basket next to the door on your way out. Although, do be careful around the blueberry ones, there's a rumour going around that Research & Development is looking for "volunteers" again.
People with full body paralysis may be the perfect test subjects, but there's just something about the concept that feels like cheating when you have to induce it yourself.
Give my regards to dr. Bright.
Come to think of it, feel free to bring him a cookie as well, though I am unaware as to whether or not he likes blueberries.
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Yeah yeah, sure, I'll leave.
I don't get why anyone would want rooms in a foundation building, let alone an antimemetics building.
Last I checked, every foundation facility comes with a nuclear warhead, just in case.
Now ours has a memory erasure bomb, but that is beside the point.
If something goes wrong on our side, you guys will be erased with the antimemetics division, and would have to, like us, start all over again.
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Then I should hope that such an moment should not arise. (again...)
Although we do possess various means to either restore lost memories, or prevent their dissipation alltogether, when forced to employ them on successive occasions, the act of recovering a substantial part of your past rapidly loses it's novelty and becomes quite tedious.
Oh, and by the way; should you ever require the use of our irreality amplifying equipment again for whatever the reason, do not hesitate to ask.
I won't inquire as to what you might need it for and we can't let you use it for free, but we'll give you a discount on the price.
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I don't really see why we would need it... unless there's something top brass hasn't told me.
What I do know is why I'm over in this area, to begin with, there's been speculation that Alistar Grey may be active again, it's an antimemetic entity that eats peoples memories, and then leaves their brain-dead corpses hidden in an antimemetic field, so no one notices, if you meet with a man calling himself Grey with an E, then don't try to call us, your already in it's stomach, You'll have probably already forgotten any info on how to beat it I could tell you, as you'll probably think it's your first day on the job.
If he is still active and you somehow survive an encounter with him, expect a job offer from us, we pay way better then these guys ever could, plus we have the best retirement plan.
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"Grey"? with an "E" you say?
Would this happen to be a tall, caucasian guy? in a grey business suit?
If so, then I'm afraid I might either have some good news, or some bad news, depending on your viewpoint.
The good news is that I don't think you need to worry about "Alistair Grey" for the time being. The bad news is that we can't hand over his remains without quite a bit of paperwork.
You see, we had a bit of an incident here involving "mr. Grey" and one of our "special interests", a highly intelligent girl with a mind like a beartrap; once it catches on to something it is nearly impossible to get it out.
Anyhow, it would seem that mr. Grey was caught unaware of the fact that the very same girl is highly androphobic. As in; she can't stand physical contact with men, it causes her serious mental distress.
It's normally never been much of a problem since most of the male staff that work with her always wear class 3 full-body face obscuring heavy-duty hazard suits and the rest of us know her well enough to always keep at least 2 arms lengths worth of space between us and her at all times, but mr. Grey must have been unaware of this condition, since he seems to have just walked up to her, tapped her on the shoulder and introduced himself.
At which point she went from "moderately anxious" to "fullblown panic" and swung at him with whatever she happened to have in her hands.
Which in this case happened to be a "Hardshell" model briefcase with solid steel outer casing, bullet resistant enough to stop a rifle and hard enough to use as a battering ram, yet lightweight enough that even a child could carry it.
It was a gift from her father, if I've understood correctly.
Anyhow, It must have caught him by complete surprise, because according to her testimony: "he didn't even try to raise his hands to block it."
This would prove to be a fatal mistake, since it caught him on the side of his head, effectively caving in his skull.
Imagine my expression when I hear a scream and turn around, only to find that one of my employees has just smashed some poor unsuspecting fellow's head in.
Granted, similar things happen every now and then, and I'll confess that I breathed a sigh of relief when later investigations into his identity came up blank and we treated him as we do with all our... unmentionable rubbish, but still.
Though I have to admit that one peculiar little detail came up when we investigated the cause of death; the outer shell of the briefcase was completely unscathed, however the laptop and tablet computer inside it looked as if someone had tried to smash them against the pole of a streetlight; a large concave indentation on one side, both facing the same direction.
Strange, no?
Judging by your description, I'd say we must have had an incredible stroke of luck to get off this easily.
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Not necessarily, check the body again, if you can't find it, then just know that the only one whose lucky is the girl.
I don't know how much data was in that laptop, but I suspect it wasn't as much as the server racks that we used in the past to dissipate him, and from the sound of it, he didn't dissipate fully.
He's probably already active again, it will be impossible to tell who he's killed if you have further "undesirables" so I'll just head back to my superiors to inform them that Grey is active but his whereabouts are unknown.
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Hmm, an intreaguing tidbit, I'll have someone look into that. however I'm fairly certain his remains still lie within our morgue.
Oh well, only one way to find out, I suppose.
Give my best regards to your supervisors and tell them that I make sure to supply them with the forms to release whatever is left into their custody.
Though given your organisation's propensity to stumble upon strange technology of all sorts, I would not be surprised if they already knew.
But now you really must excuse me, I've just been informed that one of our employees has started remembering pasts that don't belong to them and I'd really like to deal with it before they remember something that is beyond their security clearance.
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I wouldn't worry about it, there's plenty of things in this building that eat memories, concepts, knowledge, existence itself, I suspect he will be braindead in three, two, one.
And that far off scream sounds the part where the man's mind was eaten, the entity was fattening em up before eating them whole.
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I'm fear that you are sadly mistaken for three reasons;
Firstly, the person in question is a girl.
The second being that if you listen closely, there is more than one person shouting and most of the voices sound angry, not fearful.
The third is because I just caught a glimpse of a certain Dr. in the window behind you whom, for his own sake, had better not be the cause of this disturbance, or else I'm going to be Very. Upset.
And, as everyone in this building knows; Very bad things happen to people when the guy in charge of various devices constructed for the express purpose of F***ing your mind up gets. Very. Upset.
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For the love of 343! I swear, I'm going to strangle that chimp and put 963 on tomorrows lobster!
Then, after He's spent his time being eaten alive, I'm going to administer the class A's and make sure he doesn't remember this building exists.
Anything from our division is above his clearance by default, so him being in this building is being somewhere he's not supposed to be.
I'm terribly sorry and I'm going to make it up to you, you can have a tied up Bright for two days, you can do whatever you want to him, he can come back from anything.
Try not to kill him though, and more importantly try not to touch 963, if you do, you will become Bright...
We try not to remember "Bright Tuesday" when Bright accidentally took over O5-3, in fact, most of the Foundation doesn't, we do, because we can't stop remembering things, the downside of being on memory preserving drugs. They say that the smell of barbeque sauce stenches 682's cell to this day.
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"963"? Ah, that necklace of his, correct? I shall keep that in mind and I will... try... to restrain myself from strangling him, though I make no guarantees as to what way, shape, or form his mental capacities will be returned in.
After all, R&D did just finish a new prototype of an intreaguing little device that they've been dying to try out.
A that a part of our personel with a penchant for grim jokes have decided to nickname it "the Juicer (mk3)".
Oh yes, I did also make a declaration involving Dr. Bright and a tub of concrete, didn't I?
Excuse me for a moment.
657! Head down to Construction and notify them that I want a vat of quick drying cement prepared!
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Please for the love of 343 don't melt his brain, he's already insane, if he get's any more insane, well, he's in charge of orientation of new staff...
If we end up with an even more mentally bizarre orientation, I'm pretty sure that this will end with new staff being assigned to who knows what?
Worst case, Bright makes use of his immortality and control of orientation to take over the Foundation!
And then he'd seek revenge, he's known to hold a grudge when pushed.
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You may be on to something there.
Perhaps it would be for the best if I settled for giving him a full body concrete cast, a la "Godfather".
Having to ask people to ferry him around with a forklift might help keep his more annoying tendencies in check.
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It would last till his body died and is replaced, his current body is a chimp if you haven't noticed.
And like I said, he tends to hold a grudge, there was one guy who let him stick 963 in 682, he made Bright pretty irate, the end result was that Bright, in control of 682, ate the guys legs, he said if he slathered his feet in barbeque sauce, he would stop there, just remember that just because he looks calm on the outside, doesn't mean you can brush off threats easily, the most likely events are, you become his next host, you end up swimming in pool of whatever semiliquid food product, you end up swimming in a pool 427-2 (That one got him disaplinary action.) or you could end up shrunk down and placed in a doll house.
Point is, just Make the building monkey proof and you should be fine, if he gets in, just punch him in the face, and return him to us.
Do not make him mad, it will make your lives miserable, do not drive him mad, it will make our lives miserable.
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Yes, I could do that, but what kind of man would I be if I didn't keep true to my declared threats?
I am a man of my word. If I promise death and destruction, then I shall deliver death and destruction.
If I promise to present someone with a set of concrete pajamas, then by science I will see them up to their neck in cement!
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I'll make sure to attend your funeral.
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Don't count on it, I don't feel like bothering with one this time.
It wouldn't be the first time I was "killed" and arranging a ceremony to honor your expiration loses whatever novelty it had when you're up and at it again the next week.
If it weren't for company policy, I dare say that a large part of the staff would be plotting my demise just so they could get out of work for acouple of days.
Death is nothing uncommon in our line of work, so it pays to have contingencies lined up, just in case.
This isn't my first body, you know?
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No wonder Bright likes you messing with you guys, an entire organization of people like him, is probably his first target to brighten up the day.
Only Dr. Bright comes back from the dead over on this side, in fact, I do believe he attended his own funeral.
He was also the only person at that particular funeral, since we bring him back right away so he can get back to work.
If you do kill him, simply make sure to get a robot or something that isn't a staff member to put 963 in a box and mail it to PO Box ████.
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I'd like to think that we are at least somewhat more socially well-adjusted than him. But then again, we are talking about dr. Bright. I dare say that there are very few people who are LESS socially adjusted than him.
However I wouldn't call my case a true "resurrection" as such, since it's more like installing backup files into a new bio-technologically grown body.
It's a very expensive safety feature, which is why it's not availabel to all our employees.
We shall do you the favour of at least trying not to kill him. But if we should stumble into a worst case scenario, I'll make sure to have some of our transport drones deliver the body to you.
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All of these were great references and funny. But to answer the last question, couldnt you either grow yourself or shrink the gauntlet?
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