HOME | DD

Description
"Leave me alone!"

By the time Aleu's final words to her father echoed against the calm shoreline, the young girl couldn't care less where her paws took her. Soft sand etched into crackling pebbles, and crackling pebbles were once again softened by the end of the shoreline, grass leading to the mainland as she took to a never-ending field of prairie-like hills. The sunset chased fell behind her just as the boat wreckage disappeared from sight, along with the dim, warm glow of the town some miles across the stretch. Her legs burned as she made the climb over the upcoming slope, putting away the thought of taking a glance back towards home. This wasn't enough. This wasn't far enough. She needed distance, a lot of distance.

Minutes stretched painfully into hours as she off and on slipped into a trotting pace, covering more ground than she realized. Before she could begin to guess where she ended up, she finally blinked away the pain and burning tears from her eyes. She finally took long, exhausted strides to a halt, and panting, she peered about her surroundings. The sun's remaining warmth had diminished and left the woodland drenched in a cold darkness, shielding the floor of light besides that which the moon pinpointed through towering branches. She breathed heavily, hanging her head solemnly as she trudged along. She just needed time.

No... She needed the night. She needed silence. She padded amongst the underbrush, weaving through thickets and underneath trails frequented by forest-dwelling inhabitants. It was when she finally came to a small clearing, surrounded by a convenient wall of shrubbery and learning trunks, that she finally felt enough security to collapse onto the hard ground. She sobbed, frustrated, angry, and fighting the urge to feel guilty for leaving her father with such a hateful dismissal. "I hate you!"

Did she mean it? Probably not. She couldn't fathom truly feeling such a disconnection from him, but he made it incredibly difficult to love him.

Her thoughts raced for minutes as the dying songs of nestling birds were echoed now by a symphony of crickets. The quiet of the forest seemed to ease her turmoil, and eventually, she held no more energy to stay away. She curl in on herself, and fell asleep in the clearing.

She didn't know how long she was out, but it didn't even seem like morning when she felt a rough nudge into her side, startling her awake with a splayed jerk. She blinked the crusty sleep from her eyes and had to crank her head back to meet the eyes of her newfound company. She felt her stomach sink when she recognized the burning gaze of none other than her father, who stood over her like a towering tree trunk. Aleu lowered her head and averted her gaze in shame.

"Get up."

His words were harsh against her ears, which pinned tightly against her head. With a final, assertive push of his head against her ribs to reinstate his directive, knocking her on her side briefly, he stepped past her and turned away. She slowly and shakily pushed herself to her paws, only now realizing how sore she was from exerting herself so harshly in her departure. She realized he must have tracked her out here in the night. She wondered if he had been here long, or if he remained with her to allow her to sleep. Either way, seeing him again stirred both relief and shameful feelings. She padded after him, taking small, pitiful steps to try to keep up with his. As time drew by, she found herself trying to ease her racing thoughts by making feeble attempts to match the pawprints left in his stride.

The silence was torture, and she finally decided to face the inevitable. "Dad..."

Silence responded.

She gulped. "I... I don't know what to say... I mean... I do, but... but... I mean, I know what I need to say, it's just... it's just hard..."

Balto gave no reply.

Aleu felt panic weigh heavy in her bones as she took quick, shaky steps. "I didn't mean to say what I did... I guess is what I mean... It wasn't right of me, and..." She tried to plan her words carefully. "I guess what I want to say is... I'm sorry."

His refusal to acknowledge her apology made the weight in her chest feel heavier than before, and his consistent pace towards home made her realize that he was not willing to hold this conversation here. Which could only mean one thing. This could very well continue in the presence of her mother, with Balto's intent on getting her home first. Aleu could only imagine the embarrassment at the expectant frown on Boris' face, the curious glances from the young bears Muk and Luk.

"D-Dad, please..." she pleaded. "I know I messed up, like, big time... and I'm so sorry... But please don't shut me out... I didn't mean anything I said, and... and... and I... Dad, please stop, I can't... I don't know what to say to make you happy again, I don't know what to do. Please just answer me!"

Aleu gasped when she nearly ran into his chest. He had turned around so quickly that she had to slide her front paws between her hind legs. She backed up, tail tucked as she peered in terror up at her father.

His words were cold. "What would make me happy, is to get home without any further incident."

She swallowed a knot in her throat, and had to push past a pitiful stutter. "Please... I'm sorry..."

He was silent as he processed his words carefully. He gazed down at her with an expression unbecoming of the hero of Nome, one that would strike fear into any child who dared to disobey their loving parent. It was not a look of rage, but... of disappointment. She was a disappointment.

"I... I know I'm a disappointment to you..." she tried to appease.

He was quick to make correction this time. "You have disappointed me, but you are not a disappointment." This didn't make sense in the moment to her, she finally gathered the courage to meet his gaze again. This time, his eyes were focused on the ground between them, she relaxed her ears when he continued. "Aleu, what you said is not something that you can take back."

She nodded and spoke quietly. "I know..."

"Do you want to know why you can't keep a home?" Balto said, and it made her flinch as she locked her eyes onto her paws. "Your attitude. Aleu, you have yet to fail to demonstrate self-control when it comes to your emotions. How is it that your brothers and sister can live happily with their humans and despite all your fuss about wanting one, that you cannot retain enough self-respect to mind yourself under their care? It seems like you do not want a home after all."

She felt herself sink. "I... I don't... I don't know..."

"Your blood doesn't make you angry. Your blood doesn't bring bad luck. Your blood doesn't make humans dislike you. Five homes have been more than enough evident that they do not turn away because of my heritage." Balto's voice rose with each end of a sentence, and it was only after he gazed back down at her once more that he caught himself. Pitiful a sight she was, hunched in on herself like a little puppy. A brief memory of tiny, weeks-old Aleu curled up at his paws, defenseless, innocent. He wondered where he went wrong. What he did to make Aleu so angry, if he did anything at all. The worst part was knowing something was wrong, and not being able to help her. Balto clenched his jaw, and he slowly drew a breath before releasing it. "But... it... it is not fair for me to judge when I haven't asked you... Why?"

The calm in his voice drew her eyes towards him. "Why?"

"Why." He restated. "I... Aleu..." he sighed, suddenly his anger dispersed into a wavering softness. "I'm sorry... but I don't understand. I want to, but you have made it... hard... for me to hear you. You've known all along your blood, my blood... You know where I come from. So why is it only now that it's a problem?"

Aleu sank to her haunches as she mulled over his words. She shrugged.

"It's more than that, isn't it?" Balto murmured softly.

She shrugged again.

He sighed, shoulders sinking as he turned his gaze away. His frustration made her flinch as she watched him turn and begin a slow lumber towards their original destination.

"I'm sorry..." she said pathetically.

He turned his head to peer at her. "One thing you need to learn, Aleu, is that you can't fix everything with a 'Sorry'. You have to earn that respect. So far, you have lost it from a number of humans, and... and I cannot guarantee how many humans will be willing to take you once you build that reputation for yourself."

She felt her lip quiver.

"Tell me this..." he said, this time, softer than before and instilling a tiny sense of security in her. "Do you want a home? Truly?"

She was silent for a long moment, unsure of how to reply. She supposed she was not sure herself anymore. "I... I guess... Yeah? But I don't know how to be better... I... I just get so angry... Dad, I don't mean to be like that... It just happens..."

Balto stared at her for an agonizing while, the silence of the woods settling between them. He studied her torn expression, her bright eyes dull with uncertainty. He swiveled his head about, eyes shifting from the brush to the tree branches above. He seemed to be searching for something, and finally, he seemed to come to some unknown conclusion and he shifted his attention back to her.

"Follow me." He strode past her, this time going the direction opposite of home. She blinked at him as he passed her, briefly glancing towards home before meekly pattering after him.

"Where are we going?" she asked quietly.

He didn't shift his focus from the trail in front of him. "I want to show you something."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The writing isn't my best but it conveys the general idea. This is a scene that would take place shortly after Aleu "ran away". Instead, she is found later by Balto, and he decides to give her a lesson in life, one he hopes can give her encouragement. I'll continue this in another post.

I meant to add this previously but I totally recommend this soundtrack when reading or when looking at the image. It's at least what I used to get into the mood to doodle it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R47EQ…

Description
"Leave me alone!"

By the time Aleu's final words to her father echoed against the calm shoreline, the young girl couldn't care less where her paws took her. Soft sand etched into crackling pebbles, and crackling pebbles were once again softened by the end of the shoreline, grass leading to the mainland as she took to a never-ending field of prairie-like hills. The sunset chased fell behind her just as the boat wreckage disappeared from sight, along with the dim, warm glow of the town some miles across the stretch. Her legs burned as she made the climb over the upcoming slope, putting away the thought of taking a glance back towards home. This wasn't enough. This wasn't far enough. She needed distance, a lot of distance.

Minutes stretched painfully into hours as she off and on slipped into a trotting pace, covering more ground than she realized. Before she could begin to guess where she ended up, she finally blinked away the pain and burning tears from her eyes. She finally took long, exhausted strides to a halt, and panting, she peered about her surroundings. The sun's remaining warmth had diminished and left the woodland drenched in a cold darkness, shielding the floor of light besides that which the moon pinpointed through towering branches. She breathed heavily, hanging her head solemnly as she trudged along. She just needed time.

No... She needed the night. She needed silence. She padded amongst the underbrush, weaving through thickets and underneath trails frequented by forest-dwelling inhabitants. It was when she finally came to a small clearing, surrounded by a convenient wall of shrubbery and learning trunks, that she finally felt enough security to collapse onto the hard ground. She sobbed, frustrated, angry, and fighting the urge to feel guilty for leaving her father with such a hateful dismissal. "I hate you!"

Did she mean it? Probably not. She couldn't fathom truly feeling such a disconnection from him, but he made it incredibly difficult to love him.

Her thoughts raced for minutes as the dying songs of nestling birds were echoed now by a symphony of crickets. The quiet of the forest seemed to ease her turmoil, and eventually, she held no more energy to stay away. She curl in on herself, and fell asleep in the clearing.

She didn't know how long she was out, but it didn't even seem like morning when she felt a rough nudge into her side, startling her awake with a splayed jerk. She blinked the crusty sleep from her eyes and had to crank her head back to meet the eyes of her newfound company. She felt her stomach sink when she recognized the burning gaze of none other than her father, who stood over her like a towering tree trunk. Aleu lowered her head and averted her gaze in shame.

"Get up."

His words were harsh against her ears, which pinned tightly against her head. With a final, assertive push of his head against her ribs to reinstate his directive, knocking her on her side briefly, he stepped past her and turned away. She slowly and shakily pushed herself to her paws, only now realizing how sore she was from exerting herself so harshly in her departure. She realized he must have tracked her out here in the night. She wondered if he had been here long, or if he remained with her to allow her to sleep. Either way, seeing him again stirred both relief and shameful feelings. She padded after him, taking small, pitiful steps to try to keep up with his. As time drew by, she found herself trying to ease her racing thoughts by making feeble attempts to match the pawprints left in his stride.

The silence was torture, and she finally decided to face the inevitable. "Dad..."

Silence responded.

She gulped. "I... I don't know what to say... I mean... I do, but... but... I mean, I know what I need to say, it's just... it's just hard..."

Balto gave no reply.

Aleu felt panic weigh heavy in her bones as she took quick, shaky steps. "I didn't mean to say what I did... I guess is what I mean... It wasn't right of me, and..." She tried to plan her words carefully. "I guess what I want to say is... I'm sorry."

His refusal to acknowledge her apology made the weight in her chest feel heavier than before, and his consistent pace towards home made her realize that he was not willing to hold this conversation here. Which could only mean one thing. This could very well continue in the presence of her mother, with Balto's intent on getting her home first. Aleu could only imagine the embarrassment at the expectant frown on Boris' face, the curious glances from the young bears Muk and Luk.

"D-Dad, please..." she pleaded. "I know I messed up, like, big time... and I'm so sorry... But please don't shut me out... I didn't mean anything I said, and... and... and I... Dad, please stop, I can't... I don't know what to say to make you happy again, I don't know what to do. Please just answer me!"

Aleu gasped when she nearly ran into his chest. He had turned around so quickly that she had to slide her front paws between her hind legs. She backed up, tail tucked as she peered in terror up at her father.

His words were cold. "What would make me happy, is to get home without any further incident."

She swallowed a knot in her throat, and had to push past a pitiful stutter. "Please... I'm sorry..."

He was silent as he processed his words carefully. He gazed down at her with an expression unbecoming of the hero of Nome, one that would strike fear into any child who dared to disobey their loving parent. It was not a look of rage, but... of disappointment. She was a disappointment.

"I... I know I'm a disappointment to you..." she tried to appease.

He was quick to make correction this time. "You have disappointed me, but you are not a disappointment." This didn't make sense in the moment to her, she finally gathered the courage to meet his gaze again. This time, his eyes were focused on the ground between them, she relaxed her ears when he continued. "Aleu, what you said is not something that you can take back."

She nodded and spoke quietly. "I know..."

"Do you want to know why you can't keep a home?" Balto said, and it made her flinch as she locked her eyes onto her paws. "Your attitude. Aleu, you have yet to fail to demonstrate self-control when it comes to your emotions. How is it that your brothers and sister can live happily with their humans and despite all your fuss about wanting one, that you cannot retain enough self-respect to mind yourself under their care? It seems like you do not want a home after all."

She felt herself sink. "I... I don't... I don't know..."

"Your blood doesn't make you angry. Your blood doesn't bring bad luck. Your blood doesn't make humans dislike you. Five homes have been more than enough evident that they do not turn away because of my heritage." Balto's voice rose with each end of a sentence, and it was only after he gazed back down at her once more that he caught himself. Pitiful a sight she was, hunched in on herself like a little puppy. A brief memory of tiny, weeks-old Aleu curled up at his paws, defenseless, innocent. He wondered where he went wrong. What he did to make Aleu so angry, if he did anything at all. The worst part was knowing something was wrong, and not being able to help her. Balto clenched his jaw, and he slowly drew a breath before releasing it. "But... it... it is not fair for me to judge when I haven't asked you... Why?"

The calm in his voice drew her eyes towards him. "Why?"

"Why." He restated. "I... Aleu..." he sighed, suddenly his anger dispersed into a wavering softness. "I'm sorry... but I don't understand. I want to, but you have made it... hard... for me to hear you. You've known all along your blood, my blood... You know where I come from. So why is it only now that it's a problem?"

Aleu sank to her haunches as she mulled over his words. She shrugged.

"It's more than that, isn't it?" Balto murmured softly.

She shrugged again.

He sighed, shoulders sinking as he turned his gaze away. His frustration made her flinch as she watched him turn and begin a slow lumber towards their original destination.

"I'm sorry..." she said pathetically.

He turned his head to peer at her. "One thing you need to learn, Aleu, is that you can't fix everything with a 'Sorry'. You have to earn that respect. So far, you have lost it from a number of humans, and... and I cannot guarantee how many humans will be willing to take you once you build that reputation for yourself."

She felt her lip quiver.

"Tell me this..." he said, this time, softer than before and instilling a tiny sense of security in her. "Do you want a home? Truly?"

She was silent for a long moment, unsure of how to reply. She supposed she was not sure herself anymore. "I... I guess... Yeah? But I don't know how to be better... I... I just get so angry... Dad, I don't mean to be like that... It just happens..."

Balto stared at her for an agonizing while, the silence of the woods settling between them. He studied her torn expression, her bright eyes dull with uncertainty. He swiveled his head about, eyes shifting from the brush to the tree branches above. He seemed to be searching for something, and finally, he seemed to come to some unknown conclusion and he shifted his attention back to her.

"Follow me." He strode past her, this time going the direction opposite of home. She blinked at him as he passed her, briefly glancing towards home before meekly pattering after him.

"Where are we going?" she asked quietly.

He didn't shift his focus from the trail in front of him. "I want to show you something."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The writing isn't my best but it conveys the general idea. This is a scene that would take place shortly after Aleu "ran away". Instead, she is found later by Balto, and he decides to give her a lesson in life, one he hopes can give her encouragement. I'll continue this in another post.

I meant to add this previously but I totally recommend this soundtrack when reading or when looking at the image. It's at least what I used to get into the mood to doodle it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R47EQ…