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Description
Jay always said he'd never want kids. Horribly loud and messy creatures he was just fine without, thank you very much. This had only been driven home by his parents' constant nagging and reminders that they desired grandkids someday, and as an only child it was his 'responsibility' to provide them with such. This feud was only one of the many reasons he came to loathe them and why they acted as though he'd just told them he was the sole cause of the Holocaust when they discovered his utter lack of attraction to girls.

  Anyway. Kids were expensive, messy, loud, a massive commitment - one that he was perfectly fine without. But he had noticed the lingering gazes his fiancé always left on the kids they'd pass at the park. And he'd bore witness to just how fun and good he was with the kids their friends would ask them to babysit from time to time. And taking part himself, he nearly felt the stone-hard resolve in his chest erode ever so slightly.

  The crumbling came a few years after the wedding. He had inadvertently become the sitter of choice for his cousin - the first time was an emergency, as her usual caretaker had cancelled last minute, and Jay just so happened to be free that night.

  "What, I can't - I can't take care of your kid! Zodiac's working and I don't know jack shit about people younger than the age of sixte-"

  "Jay, please, please, please - I promise you it's easy. Seriously, just put Frozen on, it's her fav and she'll stay glued to it the whole time, give her a glass of juice and some cookies and I'll be back to pick her up in two hours. Can you do that for me? I'll give you $50, buy you dinner and a smoothie from-"

  He had sighed. Already defeated. "Fine. Keep your money though, just pay me back in 'I-O-U's later."

  "Deal! Oh my god, thank you so much, you're my favourite cousin, I'll drop her off tonight at six."

  The line went dead. "Goddammit."

~~~

  She'd been right. The two hours flew by quicker than he'd thought possible. All he'd had to do was put on the film as directed, feed her the snacks his cousin had left with him, and then he found the two of them lounging on the kitchen tiles, as she scribbled carelessly onto her doodling pad. The floor was the easel of choice as she was too short to comfortably reach their table, and the only chairs they kept for visitors were intended for bipeds. He'd made a mental note to do something about that if this became a regular occurance.

  "What's that you're drawing?" He asked as he watched her streak crayons across the blue construction paper.

  "It's you!" She held up the pad and grinned a wide tooth-gapped smile.

  The doodle was wild and unintelligible, and he wasn't sure which end was supposed to be the head. All the same, a warm feeling rose in his chest and he couldn't prevent his chuckle. "I'm flattered, it's gorgeous."

  She swiftly tore the sheet and held it towards him. "It's for you! You can keep it."

  “... Thank you.” That warm feeling only grew.

~~~

  A knock on the door jostled Jay's concentration. He cantered over and opened it.

  "I'm sorry I'm late, the meeting went much longer than expec - oh."

  "No worries, we were just doing makeovers. You want one too?" He stifled his laughter as he watched her eyes flit over his face and take in the glorious job his beloved little niece had done.

  "I can't believe you let her do that. Both... on your face, and with your products?" She whispered, mouth covered to conceal her own giggles.

  Jay shrugged. "Eh. These ones were mostly empty, and it's worth it, look at her." He stepped back to finally let her in, and watched his niece gallop to her mother with a full face of designer cosmetics.

  "Mom! Mom! Look what uncle Jay did!"

  "I see that, honey, you're beautiful. And so is he. Ah, ah, ah, please watch the coat." She diverted the makeup stains, and knelt to hug her instead.

  "Mommy can uncle Jay be my new sitter? I like him."

  She hesitated. "Uncle Jay is usually really busy, love - I don't think he-"

  "Yeah, I'll do it."

  They both looked up at him, one face surprised, the other ecstatic.

  "I mean I can't guarantee I’ll be free 100% of the time, but if you give me a heads-up I can probably schedule around it." He shuffled his back hooves.

  "Yay!!" And he was tackled in a full strength centaur child hug. "Thank you, Uncah Jay-Jay." She stood up on her hind legs as high as she could reach and stretched her arms around his neck. "I love you."

  And that was the moment that something changed within him. He wanted this. He really wanted this. Permanently. Not just when caring for someone else's kids from time to time. More than just satisfying Zodiac, who Jay knew would be an amazing dad, and who longed so heavily to be one. More than just pulling a child out of the adoption system and giving them a warm and safe home, with parents to nurture and love them forever. More than all of that. In that one pivotal moment, he realized that he could do this, he could be a dad, and that more than anything, he realized he wanted to.

~~~

  The door opened again a few hours later, this time for his beloved spouse. Who stepped in, took one look at Jay's face, eating his bedtime salad at the kitchen table, and asked, "What?"

  "Hm?"

  "What's on your mind?"

  "I, uh..." He nudged his fork around the vegetables on his plate. "Babysat for Kylie tonight."

  Zodiac snorted as he tugged his shoes off, then came to sit across from him. "Oh really. How'd that go?"

  "Better than... expected."

  Zodiac raised an eyebrow.

  "Okay fine I'm head over hooves in love with her and suddenly have an overwhelming urge to have our own someday." He hid his face in his hand.

  "Oh my fuck, that was quick."

  "... Yeah. Okay, see, the thing is, uhm, I kind of already knew that. Sort of. But I think now... I know I can handle it." He rested his face on his chin and took a tiny bite of salad. "I dunno. I think for the longest time I just assumed I was too immature, nowhere near organized or just ready enough to take on a whole 'nother life like that, since I could like, hardly trust myself with my own. Buuut after hanging out with Jenna today..." He shook his head, a light, almost shy grin on his face. His eyes sparkled as he smiled at his mate.

  The quiet smile was returned at him. "You've grown so much. And I hope you know that kid or no kid, I'm super proud of you." He reached across the table and took Jay's hand, kissed the ring he had slid onto it a few years prior.

  Jay bit his lip and turned back to his salad.

~~~

  Jay watched as his daughter scampered over to his husband, held her arms up towards him, and was scooped up and nuzzled affectionately. He heard him ask about her day, the painting she did in class, and listened as she gleefully responded, then put her arms around her father's neck and reminded him just how much she loved him. And as he watched the two snuggle close and read over a bedtime story together (the same one they had read to her every night that week), he felt that same fervently warm feeling blossom in his chest that always bloomed when he looked at them, and he asked himself for the millionth time how on Earth he deserved being as lucky and as blessed as this.

~~~~~~~~~~

okay I actually had no idea this whole story would happen when I sat down to write out the summary of events, but it kept growing and I also reused some of the bits I'd typed out ages ago, and now I think it's pretty good :>

so yeah... jay's growth and realization/understanding of why he was really so opposed to kids for so long :')

critiques are welcomeee, along with possible suggestions for a different title haha
here's the google doc with suggestions on in case that's easier to leave feedback on~

also PS I've never drawn the cousin before but she looks like this vine girl lmao

PPS I have an uncle jay myself in fact however these two are like nearly polar opposite hahaaaa

Description
Jay always said he'd never want kids. Horribly loud and messy creatures he was just fine without, thank you very much. This had only been driven home by his parents' constant nagging and reminders that they desired grandkids someday, and as an only child it was his 'responsibility' to provide them with such. This feud was only one of the many reasons he came to loathe them and why they acted as though he'd just told them he was the sole cause of the Holocaust when they discovered his utter lack of attraction to girls.

  Anyway. Kids were expensive, messy, loud, a massive commitment - one that he was perfectly fine without. But he had noticed the lingering gazes his fiancé always left on the kids they'd pass at the park. And he'd bore witness to just how fun and good he was with the kids their friends would ask them to babysit from time to time. And taking part himself, he nearly felt the stone-hard resolve in his chest erode ever so slightly.

  The crumbling came a few years after the wedding. He had inadvertently become the sitter of choice for his cousin - the first time was an emergency, as her usual caretaker had cancelled last minute, and Jay just so happened to be free that night.

  "What, I can't - I can't take care of your kid! Zodiac's working and I don't know jack shit about people younger than the age of sixte-"

  "Jay, please, please, please - I promise you it's easy. Seriously, just put Frozen on, it's her fav and she'll stay glued to it the whole time, give her a glass of juice and some cookies and I'll be back to pick her up in two hours. Can you do that for me? I'll give you $50, buy you dinner and a smoothie from-"

  He had sighed. Already defeated. "Fine. Keep your money though, just pay me back in 'I-O-U's later."

  "Deal! Oh my god, thank you so much, you're my favourite cousin, I'll drop her off tonight at six."

  The line went dead. "Goddammit."

~~~

  She'd been right. The two hours flew by quicker than he'd thought possible. All he'd had to do was put on the film as directed, feed her the snacks his cousin had left with him, and then he found the two of them lounging on the kitchen tiles, as she scribbled carelessly onto her doodling pad. The floor was the easel of choice as she was too short to comfortably reach their table, and the only chairs they kept for visitors were intended for bipeds. He'd made a mental note to do something about that if this became a regular occurance.

  "What's that you're drawing?" He asked as he watched her streak crayons across the blue construction paper.

  "It's you!" She held up the pad and grinned a wide tooth-gapped smile.

  The doodle was wild and unintelligible, and he wasn't sure which end was supposed to be the head. All the same, a warm feeling rose in his chest and he couldn't prevent his chuckle. "I'm flattered, it's gorgeous."

  She swiftly tore the sheet and held it towards him. "It's for you! You can keep it."

  “... Thank you.” That warm feeling only grew.

~~~

  A knock on the door jostled Jay's concentration. He cantered over and opened it.

  "I'm sorry I'm late, the meeting went much longer than expec - oh."

  "No worries, we were just doing makeovers. You want one too?" He stifled his laughter as he watched her eyes flit over his face and take in the glorious job his beloved little niece had done.

  "I can't believe you let her do that. Both... on your face, and with your products?" She whispered, mouth covered to conceal her own giggles.

  Jay shrugged. "Eh. These ones were mostly empty, and it's worth it, look at her." He stepped back to finally let her in, and watched his niece gallop to her mother with a full face of designer cosmetics.

  "Mom! Mom! Look what uncle Jay did!"

  "I see that, honey, you're beautiful. And so is he. Ah, ah, ah, please watch the coat." She diverted the makeup stains, and knelt to hug her instead.

  "Mommy can uncle Jay be my new sitter? I like him."

  She hesitated. "Uncle Jay is usually really busy, love - I don't think he-"

  "Yeah, I'll do it."

  They both looked up at him, one face surprised, the other ecstatic.

  "I mean I can't guarantee I’ll be free 100% of the time, but if you give me a heads-up I can probably schedule around it." He shuffled his back hooves.

  "Yay!!" And he was tackled in a full strength centaur child hug. "Thank you, Uncah Jay-Jay." She stood up on her hind legs as high as she could reach and stretched her arms around his neck. "I love you."

  And that was the moment that something changed within him. He wanted this. He really wanted this. Permanently. Not just when caring for someone else's kids from time to time. More than just satisfying Zodiac, who Jay knew would be an amazing dad, and who longed so heavily to be one. More than just pulling a child out of the adoption system and giving them a warm and safe home, with parents to nurture and love them forever. More than all of that. In that one pivotal moment, he realized that he could do this, he could be a dad, and that more than anything, he realized he wanted to.

~~~

  The door opened again a few hours later, this time for his beloved spouse. Who stepped in, took one look at Jay's face, eating his bedtime salad at the kitchen table, and asked, "What?"

  "Hm?"

  "What's on your mind?"

  "I, uh..." He nudged his fork around the vegetables on his plate. "Babysat for Kylie tonight."

  Zodiac snorted as he tugged his shoes off, then came to sit across from him. "Oh really. How'd that go?"

  "Better than... expected."

  Zodiac raised an eyebrow.

  "Okay fine I'm head over hooves in love with her and suddenly have an overwhelming urge to have our own someday." He hid his face in his hand.

  "Oh my fuck, that was quick."

  "... Yeah. Okay, see, the thing is, uhm, I kind of already knew that. Sort of. But I think now... I know I can handle it." He rested his face on his chin and took a tiny bite of salad. "I dunno. I think for the longest time I just assumed I was too immature, nowhere near organized or just ready enough to take on a whole 'nother life like that, since I could like, hardly trust myself with my own. Buuut after hanging out with Jenna today..." He shook his head, a light, almost shy grin on his face. His eyes sparkled as he smiled at his mate.

  The quiet smile was returned at him. "You've grown so much. And I hope you know that kid or no kid, I'm super proud of you." He reached across the table and took Jay's hand, kissed the ring he had slid onto it a few years prior.

  Jay bit his lip and turned back to his salad.

~~~

  Jay watched as his daughter scampered over to his husband, held her arms up towards him, and was scooped up and nuzzled affectionately. He heard him ask about her day, the painting she did in class, and listened as she gleefully responded, then put her arms around her father's neck and reminded him just how much she loved him. And as he watched the two snuggle close and read over a bedtime story together (the same one they had read to her every night that week), he felt that same fervently warm feeling blossom in his chest that always bloomed when he looked at them, and he asked himself for the millionth time how on Earth he deserved being as lucky and as blessed as this.

~~~~~~~~~~

okay I actually had no idea this whole story would happen when I sat down to write out the summary of events, but it kept growing and I also reused some of the bits I'd typed out ages ago, and now I think it's pretty good :>

so yeah... jay's growth and realization/understanding of why he was really so opposed to kids for so long :')

critiques are welcomeee, along with possible suggestions for a different title haha
here's the google doc with suggestions on in case that's easier to leave feedback on~

also PS I've never drawn the cousin before but she looks like this vine girl lmao

PPS I have an uncle jay myself in fact however these two are like nearly polar opposite hahaaaa