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Dripsofmoonlight — Hellenistic statue
Published: 2006-02-12 02:51:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 85; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 3
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Description
Tears drip down fevered skinFollowing trenches dug of salt
To touch lips broken by the wind
Burning each crack and fault
Flowing from eyes veined in blood
Tired and weary from their woe
Corners etched in time and pain
Diamond flecked in broken stone
Figure wracked with agony
Held eternal in it's pose
Mysterious, yet in plain view
Until hidden thoughts disclose
The sculptor of this tragedy
Knows not the toil they have spent
What weather has not worn away
Still found with intended torment
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Comments: 5
good imagery here, you can picture the tear rolling down, i would have increased the conceptual weight to the tear and made it more meaningful
its good mate
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really good imagery, somewhat more complex than i usually do, but thats your style i guess... i love the imagery though.. i'd say the third paragraph could do with some work:
Figure wracked with agony <-- this line is good
Held eternal in it's pose
Mysterious, yet in plain view
Until hidden thoughts disclose
its good, but it isnt plain enough, possibly too crypted.. maybe put forward your message slightly simpler
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wow! this is really amazing. the imagery is stirring...well done!
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First comment, yay! I say you should have several by now, as beautiful as 'tis. As I have said to only one other: Angelic literacy. Omnipotent poetry, description worthy of godly admiration! Ah, blessed be the words before me. Btw, loved it.
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