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elixirphoenix — Are You Real
Published: 2007-04-18 14:42:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 46; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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Description
There is nothing else but the need to hold youTo make sure you're real
So that I can have me peace of mind
You're so far away
When you're so close
You're high on a mountain top
The eagle cries
As the raven falls
But you stand tall
Why has no cult shown favor to you
Taken you up as their god
Who is the bigger fool
The one who threw you down
Or the one who picked you up
You are here on this earth
For reasons that I can't fathom
But you're here with me
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Comments: 2
It certainly has very good imagery. However, I think your rhyming scheme is slightly askew.
(As the raven falls
But you stand tall) Your suddenly start to rhyme in the middle of the poem, and then follow an a,b,a,b pattern for a bit after that.
But, like I said, I really loved the imagery and the conflicting views of close, but high on a mountain. Nice job!
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Thanks
I tend to write free verse and rhyming is usually accidental.
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